That’s it! While I’m stuck in this insane moving situation, I’m drawing M!Corrin in dresses and cute things! Takumi is gonna join him! Leo might get stuck with cute clothes too!
in the silence you can hear my heart beat (instead of the make-believe monsters breathe)
AO3 Ver
Written for FE Rarepair Week day 5: Dreams/Touch (Niles/Takumi; contains some non-graphic/very mild nsfw)
Word Count: 1371
Summary: They both used each other as a way to relax for the moment.
Takumi seldom managed to sleep through the night. Nightmares of various ideas and monsters would end up waking him, and he would lie in silence making out shapes on the ceiling. Phantom fears would still circle him in the dark even while awake. It usually only took a few minutes of feeling trapped in terror to get Takumi up and out of his room. A change of scenery, fresh air, whatever helped.
Back at Castle Shirasagi he would go and shoot his bow in the archery range, the night stars shimmering above him. His arrows would be loud and sharp in the silent air as everyone around him slept. Now, tucked away in the astral plane with the rest of Corrin’s growing army, Takumi still headed towards that area but the stars above him were different. They blinked and moved and changed and were nothing like the ones from home. The silence surrounding him had also changed because he was no longer alone.
It took him a few nights to realize it was Niles watching him. From his place up in the trees he’d watch Takumi shoot and say nothing, and Takumi would be left wondering where his nerves were coming from. It was pure luck that he had noticed the trees shifting and managed to catch Niles in the act.
“Why are you watching me?” Takumi had demanded.
“Why is a prince out of bed so late?” Niles had responded, and they fell into a quick stalemate.
Takumi wasn’t obligated to spell out his nightmares for him, and that allowed Niles to keep his secrets to himself. He didn't exactly care why Niles was out as late as him, but more so why he would continuously bother him. The stalemate lasted a good two nights before Takumi had cracked. A guy could only handle so much staring and occasional snide comments before losing it.
Tossing down the Fujin Yumi, Takumi had stormed over to him. “Niles! Do you want something from me, is that it?”
“Hmm, a dangerous thing to ask me Prince Takumi.” Niles folded his arms as Takumi glared at him. “I have a good view of the sky from the trees here.”
“Well, you’re not watching the sky now are you? You’re watching me and- it’s weird and I want you to stop!”
Niles smirked. “Oh? Does the Hoshidan Prince have an issue with being watched? And here I thought you so desperately craved attention.”
Takumi could tell by the grin on Niles face that the words were meant to be as sharp and pointed at him. It would be unbefitting of a royal for Takumi to punch him after that, but if his arrows had started to fly towards where Niles was, he wasn’t going to stop himself. Smug bastard. It only took a week more before Niles had squeezed out of him why Takumi was always up at night.
“Nightmares?” Niles had scoffed. “Am I to honestly believe that? What would a royal who has lived a cushy life like you have experienced in order to have such severe nightmares?”
Takumi did punch him then. Fast enough to catch Niles off guard, and strong enough to knock him back a bit. Tears bubbled hot in Takumi’s eyes as anger burned in his chest - gods, his mother, birth mother always said he mirrored her. Emotions ran too high and would always form as tears rather than anything else. They were weapons, she had said but his father always said men didn't cry so he was torn between them. It didn't matter any which way now because they were both dead and every word they've said still haunts him in his dreams as daggers poised to strike.
Takumi wasn’t sure if it was him crying or the punch he gave that made Niles change his tune, but something about him must've triggered something. Before Takumi could stalk off Niles had a grip on his wrist keeping him trapped there. Niles' hand was warm where he touched Takumi’s skin but he still tugged in an attempt to free himself. The contact was becoming too hot, too much sensation for him right now.
“I suppose it's only fair - I watch the stars for the same reason,” Niles had said, voice low and flat. An admission of his own flaws. He tilted his head. “Do you always act like a child when someone calls you out on your status?”
“Am I acting like a child? When you’re the one who insulted me first? If I'm a child then you must be one as well.”
“... Fair enough.”
Niles had let his wrist go and Takumi stalked off, cursing him mentally the whole way. By the next night though, the entire dynamic had shifted. Niles was more… friendly. Instead of just watching Takumi practice he would join in, and eventually Takumi found himself climbing up trees with Niles to stargaze. Niles would still taunt him but it was never as malicious as before, always walking around an audible line. Takumi took it as Niles respecting him rather than pity. He wasn’t sure if Niles could process pity.
After a month of bickering and near-cuddling up high together, Takumi kissed him. It was chaste and he started to regret it immediately, but it was still warm. The hand that ran through his hair as Niles pulled him back closer was even warmer. Takumi didn’t find any love in it, from either side. He had no interest in Niles for the long-term and neither did he. They both could find some solace together in touch, though.
It wasn’t any kind of cure. Takumi still got nightmares as frequently as Niles did and no amount of sex would change that. It was more than that however. The feeling of another person next to you when you woke up was… some kind of safety that was hard to get elsewhere. Takumi would wake up in a panic as usual, and Niles would either already be up or wake up as well from his thrashing. It’d be half-asleep touches and kisses then before Takumi would catch his breath, and they’d fall into a calming silence together.
No, it certainly was no cure, but it was something. They kept their affair quiet from everyone else - as far as they were concerned, outside of the night they had no reason to speak to each other. Niles had his duties as a retainer, and Takumi had his as a prince. Two separate worlds for two separate people. At night that veil would fall away and they’d end up clinging to one another to find that safety, but only when they could hide.
It was harder to think about black claws dragging down his skin or shadows choking him when Takumi could focus on Niles instead, something real and tangible. His teeth weren’t as sharp as the ones gleaming in his dreams, and the marks left by them were visible instead of mental. He gleamed pleasure instead of fear from Niles, and there was no way to focus on what horror awaited him in his sleep when he was moaning into someone’s mouth.
Takumi didn’t know fully how much he helped Niles. For all he knew Niles could still be just as bad as before; he couldn’t really tell. Niles certainly had no complaints though, or if he did, he never voiced them to Takumi and that was good enough for him. It was clear to the both of them that he was using Niles and Niles was using him. No matter how soft Niles felt in the dark or how warm he was when pressed together, Takumi wouldn’t let himself even try to make anything more out of it.
One day, he’d find someone genuine who could do what Niles did. Someone to touch and hold during the long nights, except that person would be kinder, more caring. There’d be no more marks on him, signs of venting from both parties. Touch would be treated as affection rather than a safety net. It wouldn't be a relationship based on who could stave off their dreams the longest.
Takumi tried not to think too much on how boring that will be.
