They needed to know!

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@takemeout-derogatory
They needed to know!
a random child asks Batman “How many times a day do you think about the Roman Empire?” for the meme and accidentally unlocks a 45 minute unskippable cutscene that only ends when Superman physically picks Batman up and flies him away from the enthralled history nerd child
Superman picks up Batman and flies away and the child has two (2) seconds to be disappointed before Jason drops out of nowhere and continues exactly where Bruce left off in the middle of his sentence, thus unlocking another even more unskippable hour long cutscene
he’s so
Guess who got hit with a de-aging beam 👍🏻
Page one text:
Dick: Let’s see, you’ve met ✨me✨, Duke, Dami, Al… who else is around…
Dick: Oh hey! It’s Jason!
Jason: Uh.
Timmy: Jason………. Todd?
Dick: That’s right!! (Wow, good memory!)
Jason: Hi.
Dick: T-TIM?!
*
Bonus:
Bats in their natural habitat
Then Jason never kills again.
Dick’s early years as Robin are just. You are ten years old. Tomorrow you have a math test. Last night you saved ten lives. You could not save the two that mattered most. Neither could he, which is why you are here. A year ago you spent your days in a trailer and your nights beneath the big top, and you were never more than 10 feet away from someone who loved you. Now you are adrift in a mansion full of ghosts. You want to go home. You climb up to the highest attic and scream as loud as you can just to see if anyone will hear you. For the crime of losing your parents, they put you in a cell. At night you leap from skyscrapers and remember how to fly. You go to bed and watch them fall. Sometimes you wake up and you are so full of anger you don’t know how you can survive it. You are trying to survive it. You want to kill a man. You rescue a baby from a burning building and his mother calls you an angel. You eat an ice cream cone on top of a gargoyle. You do not want another father. You need a friend. There is a secret only four people in the whole world know. You are one of them.
Something in my mind clicked
“It’s his second patrol!”
DC’s Trinity in and out of costume
The fact that of all the Justice League Batman was the first one to get a kid sidekick will never not be funny.
Not only that, the child is a ball of sunshine and impulse control issues next to the man who has taken brooding to the next level that plans every contingency including if he himself turns evil.
And everyone is slightly concerned, but no one is going to tell Batman no because how do you tell the man who also has contingencies against your powers no? Surely Superman will say something.
But then Superman's cool with it?
And on top of all of this the kid is a Superman fan and now Superman and Batman have team-ups where they take the kid with them like family outings.
dick stealing bruce's gucci sunglasses off his face and putting them on only for bruce to wordlessly pull the same pair of sunglasses out of his bag.
who wants to go to the Gotham McDonalds with me. im getting fries
“tim drake should be the next batman” this and “luke fox should be the next batman” that. you fools. they should all be batman. there just should be ten batmans running around gotham. im talking stephanie brown. cassandra cain. jason todd. tim drake. damian wayne. luke fox. harper row. duke thomas. barbara gordon. minhkhoa khan also for some reason. all of them. they all should be batman. at the same time. they work batman shifts. dick grayson is exempt because he doesnt want to be batman.
YOU’RE GONNA LET THE FLASH BE RELEASED WHEN IT STARS A WANTED CRIMINAL ON THE RUN BUT SCRAP BATGIRL???
Could you do a Jason and Damian bonding headcanons, please?
The first time one of them said "I love you" was in the heat of battle when Jason said it along with, "You better not die again, brat"
When Damian is angry, Jason will put on sparring gloves and tell Damian to have at it until he wears himself out and calms down
Damian knows when Jason has violent thoughts even if he doesn't talk about them—it's a League instinct
Jason can bench twice Damian's weight—they found out when Damian sat on a barbell because "this was my spot first"
When it comes to Damian, Jason's fear isn't the katana or assassin-like stealth, but the fact that he's a mirror image of Bruce
Back in the League, Jason once caught Damian playing with his mother's makeup and covered for him while Damian cleaned up
Jon teaches Damian TikTok dances and Damian teaches Jason
Jason's not allowed to pick Damian up from school alone on account of the time he pulled up on a motorcycle blasting AC/DC and shouted "I'M HERE MOTHERFUCKER"
Damian wanted to know what the ocean is like but Nanda Parbat was far from one, so Jason recreated it with melted snow and shell-shaped rocks
Damian cooked, and Jason was the last to say "not it" to trying it
One time Alfred told Damian to give Jason some fruits and vegetables so Damian gave him a single strawberry
When Damian is tired, he'll steal Jason's whole coffee maker and put it in his room
Damian knows about Roy sneaking into Jason's room at night
Jason's idea of cooking is slapping a huge piece of meat on the grill and calling it a day, much to Damian's protests
Jason lets Damian have a small sip of wine under supervision
Jason's the only one who lets Damian fight the way he feels most confident
They went sledding on an old table top
They can play ping pong blindfolded, but only against each other
Damian literally owns the world's smallest violin, which he busts out whenever Jason retells his death
Jason once went a whole road trip without noticing Damian in the back seat
Damian can mimic police sirens and Jason hates it
Jason attests that Damian can drive, but he'll also attest that Damian is the worst driver ever
Their have each other's contacts saved as "Bat Brat" and "Dead Hood"
They have bonfire s'mores on Jason's grave
Damian sticks Jason's mugshot to the fridge with alphabet magnets
Jason knows Damian hates surprise parties so he always tells him when the family is throwing one
They have a Jane Austen book club
The first time Damian got his heart broken (in the League, by Ra's) Jason was the one who picked up the pieces
Damian uses his prodigious art skills to speed-draw Jason in everyday life when he's not looking
They got #CancelBruceWayne trending for April Fool's
Jason occasionally writes poetry and Damian doodles in the margins
They can't beat each other in a bare fistfight
When Damian gets excited about something, Jason makes sure nobody can ruin it
Jason leaves sauce packets all over the place to confuse Damian
They know each other's limits and consistently toe the line
Damian submits a fake job application under Jason's name to Build-A-Bear
Spider-Man’s at work, time for undead boys to meme.
Fic link here!