My Trauma Diary

this is my side blog related to my personal experiences with trauma, and PTSD (follow/message are thru my main blog - message if you want a follow)

[be-pd]

*expresses a reason i’m upset* oh god im being manipulative aren’t I

[pariaaaaah]

[fluffgawd]

Pls teach your son how to apologize.

[90svigilante-deactivated2018022]

Pls teach your daughter to not measure her strength by how much pain she can endure

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[joshpeck]

[traumatic-poet]

me: wow i sure am hungry

me to me: u either overeat or u don’t eat.

me: well i wouldn’t wanna get any fatter

[lifeisshortandyouarebeautiful-d]

You met me when I was good. Don’t leave me now that I’m not.

[punchdrunkpoetry-deactivated201]

I hold my breath like a gun;

Tentatively at first, then tighter with the confidence of a girl who knows the power they hold.

[talkishard]

My r*apist found me on LinkedIn 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 which means he stalked me on other social media I just wasn’t notified 🙃🙂🙃🙃🙃

[lifeinpoetry]

My therapist asks,         how must you be to be          happy? I tell her the question’s wrong: it’s what          do you need, but she says          that’s deflection. So I stare out a vacant          window again. I must stop being          so desperately sad possibly. I want          to I tell her thistles are good          by virtue of birth. Sickness comes          not from plant roots but from          the grave soil that swallows it. I want the place          between horizon & sea, where all          water goes. See, like fish my          bones reel love in in shoals. I cannot          turn myself into a windmill          because the weather report whispers of sweet          apple breeze. It is not my fault          the earth wants only to hold          onto impossible things. The late afternoon          light turns every wall into          a lightbox, my body into a golden          specimen, my therapist into the highway          I walked through at midnight. She          glances at the clock, each word I          say transforming into a grimy          coin. Have you tried          hurting yourself? She asks & I          explain it’s not that I want to sleep forever         but I wish there was no one          left to disappoint. Nothing          left to forgive. I’m not good at being a girl who          looks like me. She twists a blank          smile into I see, so slowly the          back of her throat looks like an empty          road. I see. Minutes trick         -ling down to seconds until she writes a new          order of pills. I know          loneliness like asking strangers for          directions to my own house just to           hear someone else speak. Like folding sadness           into a softer shape that could           maybe be useful if I held it up           to the right light. Ten minutes left. Her           eyes round the door. We can           continue this next week, she says. I stand           up to leave but I’m not           really going anywhere.

— Natalie Wee, “Therapy Talk,” Our Bodies & Other Fine Machines

[hushbabycollective]

by Desiree Rinehart from the 4th Edition of Hush Baby Collective

Theme: Mental Health Awareness // Grievances

[aggressive-pepsi]

“Its all in your head”

yes exactly that is where the mental illness goblin lives, chanting and making blood sacrifices, thank you for recognizing its geographic location

[it-was-ady]

Food $200 Data $30 Rent $250 Things I buy because I’m depressed $3,600 Utility $100

someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

[jadesaidshedneverchangeherurl]

buy more things because you’re depressed

[it-was-ady]

Okay

[aphrodeiti]

Do you ever become desensitized to your own trauma?? Like you’ve been dealing with it for so long that when you accidentally let it slip out in conversation and the persons like “um oh my god?” You’re like wow I forgot my life has been one unspeakable horror after another #noted

[galacticsonder]

Reblog if you're a trauma blog

I recently started my trauma recovery/vent blog and I need people to follow. If you post primarily any of the following

-abuse in general -emotional abuse -child abuse -csa -ptsd/cptsd -self care -mental health with a trauma focus

please reblog so I can follow you/check out your blog

[haleyincarnate]

Based off of this suggestion sent to @fierysuggestion

[overtones-moved-deactivated2019]

im tired

[mirithebrave]

I remember one time when I was in an eating disorder treatment center and struggling to finish a particularly hard meal, a therapist kneeled down next to me and said, “You don’t need to prove to me that you’re in pain.” I could feel some emotion starting to come up and I tried to push it away. She said, “Tell me about the pain, Lindsay. Use you words, not your body.” That’s still one of the most powerful things I’ve been told when in my eating disorder. There have been times, even subconsciously, that I’ve used ED behaviors as a way of showing people how much pain I’m in, telling them that I am not okay inside.  There are still days when I’m tempted to take out my emotions on my body, to make my internal pain visible. But sometimes I think about this therapist and it makes me pause, even for a second, and remember that I don’t have to destroy myself to prove my pain to anyone. It is valid and real whether I look “sick enough” or not.