AnasAbdin
JBB: An Artblog!
#extradirty
trying on a metaphor
JVL
Game of Thrones Daily
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sheepfilms
ojovivo
Claire Keane
Sade Olutola
Monterey Bay Aquarium
One Nice Bug Per Day
titsay
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izzy's playlists!
tannertan36
we're not kids anymore.
Discoholic đȘ©
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@tamerdarkmousy
A new day, a new opportunity. Today is a day to reflect on what weâve done, and what we need to do to move forward.
Happy Wednesday everyone. Iâm a cosplayer! I do charity events among other things! I cosplay primarily as power rangers, but I do others as well! I decided to finally get back on Tumblr! Time to figure this stuff out!
What happens when we identify our pain and make steps to heal?
What do we do?
What do you do when pain is all youâve known, but you can no longer identify with that pain anymore?
Just wanting to spread some hope tonight. I know for me and many others the last few days have been rough. whether it was #HurricaneFlorence or work issues. When life gets you down, stand up and keep fighting, keep pushing. It will get better. Your breakthrough is here. #motivation #motivationalquotes #Recovery #GreenArrow #Hope https://www.instagram.com/p/Bnz6NwnDslR/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=q6jjzedv3a22
When I was a kid I always wanted a Gold Ranger toy. My family couldnât afford one when Power Rangers was on tv. Last night at Walgreens, I was with my girlfriend. I saw this and freaked out. She grabbed it from my hands and bought it for me. This small act meant so much to me. Iâve been smiling non stop ever since.
To my #Beyblade Friends, I'm thinking of selling or doing a giveaway my #OneOfAKind #CyberDranzer #Dranzer #Beyblade. This was won from a #WorkdBeyblade #Contest a few years ago! Anyone interested? #WBO #WorldBeyblade #Retirement #GameDev
When opportunity comes knocking, bow your head and say #ThankYou #CW #Arrow #Cosplay #cosplayersofinstagram
The Day After, The Year After
Just to blunt, this blog is real and raw.
Its truly amazing how much can change in a year. People, life, and your surroundings. But even though things change, so much stays the same it feels like. But I suppose this time its quite the opposite for me. Things feel so different, but in a way they are the same.
About a year ago, I was in a completely different place. I was working night shift, and I was suffering bad from Depression. But I did a relatively good job of hiding it. I felt like others wouldnât care if they knew. So I hid it for 6 months. I got used to living with the depression, anxiety and the biggest was loneliness. I was working, and sleeping and going to church on Sundays. And if you know anything about me, you know I love my church and you know I love to help with the youth. But this time last year I wasnât doing that.
It felt like day in and day out I was going through the motions. I felt like no one wanted me around unless they wanted something. I felt like I was only useful when I could do stuff for others. And that was draining. Going thru the week and dreading waking up, and holding on to the hope someone would want to hangout or see you, but to little to no avail. I felt alone and in pain. But thru all the pain I was able to function.
Fast forward to July 2015. I was no longer really active with the local youth Ministry I helped with, WSYM. I was driving the van on Sundays some. But there was so much stress behind the scenes. I was in charge of a ministry at the time. And it took a toll on me not being able to lead the way I wanted to, since I wasnât there on Wednesdays.
I was also helping at another church, which at the time was my home church. I was tired all the time. I was sleeping 12 hours a day at times. I would go to Wal-Mart at midnight just to see people, just not to be alone. I know it sounds pathetic, but you do what you have to do to stay sane or somewhat sane.
WSYM had an event called Summer RAVE last summer. And the night of Summer Rave I couldnât go due to work. The students were used to contacting me if they needed a ride for church. My phone was going of left and right and I couldnât do anything about it. It was a bad feeling.
I felt like I had no purpose. I felt like there was nothing for me, here, there, or anywhere. And that night at work was the darkest night I think i ever had. I contemplated taking my own life. I sat there in the middle of the office thinking the Pros vs Cons of living vs Dying. I knew this bad. I knew I was officially in a bad spot. That night got bad. I drove home from work that night crying because I felt I had no purpose.
I was crying and asking God âWhy God, Why Me, Why Do I have to be alone?â And in that 25 minute drive home, I made it home, Still deciding. The lowest point for me was deciding what to put in the note and how I was going to do it all.
After this breakdown, I fell asleep, and I indeed woke up the next morning. I woke up tired, no surprised. But I woke up determined not to feel that way again. Long story short, I didnât do it. And I have two people to thank for that. Pastor Mallory & ChrĂ©tien Dumond. They helped me get through everything. But thatâs another story for another day.
I can say, a year later I am better. Iâm not where I want to be, but I am better. Iâm at an amazing church that I love. And I have found some genuine friends. To date, since this incident I have had no suicidal thoughts, & as of this writing 75 days self harm free.
Thereâs a lot more to this story. But this is just part of it. But in all honesty our story isnât over. We all have a purpose, we all have someone who needs us, even if we donât see it. Keep fighting, keep strong. I believe in you.
âȘI'm raising money for Help Howard pay for dentures. Click to Donate: https://www.gofundme.com/help-howard-pay-for-dentures?pc=tw_co_share_m&rcid=r01-151175123346-391c3b84e92741b3 âŹ
#FoodForThought
Hey look who got employee of the month.
Since its technically still Wednesday, my #WCW goes to @morganevans8767 . She is beautiful inside and out. She has a heart for people and an amazing smear of humor. I'm blessed to have her in my life. đâș đ
Today makes 9 months of dating this beauty, @morganevans8767. It's been an amazing 9 months so far. You're one of the strongest people I know and you have such a genuine heart. I'm Glad you're in my life †#ShesAmazing
Today is a very special day, today makes 8 months with the beautiful @morganevans8767 she is beautiful & amazing. Omg so very thankful for you. It's been an amazing 8 months and here's to many many more. The k you for being in my life đđâ€
After an extremely long week I can finally relax with @morganevans8767. She has helped keep me sane this week and has made sure I've been taking care of myself. Thank you for being a blessing and amazing. I'm beyond thankful for you. đâ€