i think the idea of jake and neytiri just genuinely having a favouritism problem with their kids is a super cool and interesting flaw and i like it sorry team. like i think the idea neteyam genuinely was just kind of the favourite is a cool thing to navigate.
Tamtey being absolutely horrid at keeping herself fed. She's gone her whole life having food be used as a tool of abuse, that now that she's and adult and free she doesn't know how to keep or have a responsible relationship with food.
She will go hours, even days without eating, only to gorge herself when she has an over abundance of it. Or she'll hide away food around camp or the region, though those tend to be more RDA rations or dry nuts and meats. The other's also have a similar relationship with food but since they have more help, being at HQ and other people, they've been getting more help than Tamtey has.
Surprisingly it's not So'lek or the people at the resistance that notice her relationship with food. Instead it's Ka'nat, Nefika, and Etuwa that notice first, as they're the people she interacts the most in the beginning.
Nefika sees how she buys multiple plates from Relun, the man looking over Tamtey's shoulder in concern, most of them are long lasting meals or meals that can feed multiple people. Later she has hunters telling her that they saw her portioning out the food into smaller and smaller piles, then wrapping them in leaves and clay to be stored for later.
Etuwa notices how Tamtey follows food with her eyes but never daring to ask for even a bite, or how she'll flinch when she's been "caught". When she's able to convince Tamtey to take a plate and eat she tries not to make it obvious that she notices how quickly Tamtey eats, like she's afraid it'll be taken away.
Ka'nat grows concerned, though he won't show it at the time, of how Tamtey will never touch food or drink around him, unless he orders her to. Once she sat by what could be a small banquet during a meeting with him for hours, never once looking at the plates or showing interest, he could hear her stomach growling.
The three decide that they're going to do something about it.
Etuwa goes to Itu asking him to help take Tamtey on more hunts and help the woman portion out and dry the meat so she has a better store available. He tries to complain but changes his tune when she explained why, he even goes so far as to take Tamtey gathering and give her part his kills too.
Ka'nat starts to make sure that they eat before meetings, asking to speak with her when she is at Hometree. He passes it off as wanting to keep track of her progress against the RDA and her involvement with the Aranahe camps. Slowly he stops to order her until she no longer waits for his "permission".
Nefika makes her sit and gossip with her Kitangi, she'll even drag Etuwa in, making sure she has food and drinks. She'll play the "look at you so thin, we must fatten you up" card like a pro. Cooking with her and teaching her foods that are more nutritious and can't be stored for long, this is to make sure she eats them within a day or two instead of hoarding it.
They even get the camps involved, people will make her sit and feed her small portions, adding more and more to her plate as she eats until she's eaten a full meal. Hunters will go into her stashes and make sure the food hasn't spoiled or will add to the small bundles.
Slowly Tamtey stops hoarding and gorging herself, she starts to take actual breaks to eat and actually enjoy her meals. Her stashes dwindle, though never fully disappear. And she starts to share more off her plate then eat it in fear of it being "stolen". Soon she starts contributing more of her food to the camps and Hometree rather then hiding it.
When she goes back to HQ So'lek now makes sure she's eating real food, three times a day, and he doesn't hide the reason either. Because of course he'd got informed by the trio of how toxic and damaging Tamtey's relationship with food had gotten and realizing that, if not for the others still being at HQ, how much more damaging their own relationships with food could have become.
"You are free now Sarentu, no longer will you be starved by those who stole you, nor will I stand by and let you to be starved because of the scars of their abuse."
And the look hed given Alma when the trio informed him could only have been described as soul scorching; riping her a new one when no one was around.
(Just imagine how the RDA has twisted the Sarentu's relationship with food. After years of being withheld food as form punishment I think that once they're free they'd need help reforming healthy relationships with it. Slowly being taught that their friends, Aranahe and later other clans will ever use food against them and are absolutely horrified that they were abused in such a way too. If Alma thought So'lek disliked her before she's not prepared to what's its grown to now.)