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Sweet Seals For You, Always
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Today's Document
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@tangledobsession
garlic is my boyfriend garlic is a god garlic is the wind in my hair on the weekend garlic's a relaxing thought aren't you envious that for you it's not sweet like honey garlic is a cat purring in my lap cause it loves me flexing like a goddamn acrobat me and garlic vibe like that
me when i get a New Interest™️ that i’m excited to share with everyone:
my long-suffering friends and followers:
That one mutual who shares all of your new interests
@veterki
🎶 just smell the grass! the dirt! just like i dreamed they’d be!
it has been like at least eight years and sometimes I still think to myself, when I am tired, “but I am le tired… well then take a nap! AND THEN FIRE ZE MISSILES” even though in retrospect that is like one of the most embarrassingly unfunny videos to ever come out of the internet
tbh i still start sentences with “hokay, so” at least 3 times a day
same, aggressively so. I also still use “wtf, mate.”
#i have no idea what this is referring to#but i’m relieved to know i’m not the only one out there randomly quoting old internet videos#some shit is always hilarious to me (x)
OH MAN
LET ME LEARN YOU A THING
who doesn’t think this is STILL AS HILARIOUS as it was when we all watched it over and over and over again 15 years ago?
I’ve reblogged this before and will doubtless reblog this again because MY ENTIRE GROUP OF FRIENDS WAS SO OBSESSED WITH THIS VIDEO IN 2002/2003 THAT WE COLLECTIVELY BANNED ANY MENTION OF IT EVER AGAIN
AND YET
WE ARE NOW GROWN-ASS ADULTS IN OUR THIRTIES
AND IT STILL GETS QUOTED FROM TIME TO TIME
I HAVE THE WHOLE THING MEMORISED
TO THIS DAY, MY MOTHER REGULARLY SAYS “BUT I AM LE TIRED” BECAUSE OF A VIDEO I SHOWED HER IN FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL
THIS IS AN ICONIC PIECE OF INTERNET HISTORY AND I WILL FIGHT ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERS
my wife and I still regularly say “hokay so”, “but I am le tired” and “and some big meteor’s like ‘well fuck that’.” Fucking iconic.
I HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE AND I’M SO GRATEFUL FOR THIS POST BECAUSE I’VE SEEN IT NOW AND I CAN’T STOP FUCKING LAUGHING
I’ve quoted this video on a daily basis for the past 10+ years and will probably do so for the rest of my life.
This vidoe is there, on the wall of fame, right by “Crab Battle” and “John, you are the demons”
….but does any one else still sing badger badger
In case some of you were interested, dude made a part 2 recently.
For every reblog, we will throw one (1) teabag at an American.
A moment of peace
the water is so clear….. he’s flying
Olivia just realized I’m wearing earrings of her face.
im sorry to everyone who has ever tried to talk to me and then realized my communication skills are equivalent to a stale piece of bread
what’s the betting that potterwatch was just a radio project lee jordan was doing in his spare time and never actually stopped after the war
“Harry Potter was spotted at the local farmers market today, good choices in produce Harry! Gotta love the organics”
he’s the only reporter harry will talk to other than giving official statements when he has to as an auror
“I’m speaking to Harry Potter today after the long-awaited conclusion of the trial of quadruple murderer Waldorfus Grenoble. Harry, may I ask you a question regarding the trial?”
“Sure, Lee, I have to be back at work in ten but give it a go.”
“What is in the curry you had for lunch yesterday during the recess? It smelled fantastic and I have to know.”
“Thanks for asking, Lee. I’ve recently come across a book of my great-grandmother Priyanka’s notes on her Punjabi cooking and I’ve been trying to recreate her food. I liked that one but Ginny said it was too sweet so I’m making adjustments.”
“Fantastic. Great stuff. Next up we have an update on You-Know-Who’s whereabouts. Not Voldemort obviously– he’s six feet under, it’s been around 2500 days now and he’s still going strong, no sign of him being not dead any time soon.”
“You’re correct, Lee, he’s dead as a doornail and he’s going to stay that way. You do realize you don’t need to refer to your infant daughter as ‘You-Know-Who,’ right?”
“Sophie starts screaming if either of her dads talks about her and we don’t know why. Any suggestions, and any idea where she is now?”
“Oliver was walking her up and down the hallway outside the World Cup Regulatory Office last I saw her. As for the screaming, with James we gave him the miniature dragon from the Triwizard in ‘94 and that entertained him pretty well.”
“You heard it here first folks, Harry Potter thinks dragons are an appropriate substitute for pacifiers! Thanks for your time, Harry.”
“Any time, Lee.”
“Next week’s password is anything that will make our six-month-old go to sleep for longer than four hours. Signing off, this has been Potterwatch with River and the man himself, Harry Potter.”
I feel like I’ve been waiting to go to a Taylor Swift concert since the last one ended three years ago! 1989 was the first major concert I went to, and I was not disappointed. It was definitely one of the best nights of my life. Taylor is such an incredible performer, artist, and person. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t end up singing one (or more!) of her songs. My sister @tangledobsession and I are going to see reputation in Philly on Saturday, and we are beyond excited!!!!!
July 14th. C5. Row 14. Seats 11-13.
^^^ What she said. We have been amping up for this since all @taylorswift ‘s social media went dark last summer. I love being able to share moments like these with my baby sister. I’m so hype for the show this weekend!!! I would freak if we actually got to meet her. Seeing her on stage again is going to be AMAZING!!! @taylornation @newtaylornation
The Types and Why They Procrastinate
Because they’re not emotionally ready to deal with the task at hand: INFP, INFJ, ISFP
Because the task wasn’t very exciting: ESFP, ENFP, ISTP, ESTP
Because someone needed their help. More like a couple someones, actually: ISFJ, ESFJ, ENFJ
Because they think the task isn’t worth their time: ESTJ, ENTJ, ISTJ
Because they didn’t find the task intellectually stimulating: INTJ, INTP, ENTP
Wait, why is this so accurate? 😂
I’m actually concerned for boys who complain about how different girls look without makeup. Like did you think eyeshadow permanently alters a girls eyelid? Are you frightened when people change clothes
Babies have no concept of object permanence
That’s one of the sickest burns I’ve ever read.
Later, in the men’s department, after discovering his long-lost brothers… the jungle king was pleased to find he looked pretty good in Armani. Pretty darn good.
This good boy is a chimera, which is an animal that is genetically two animals, in this case he’s a yellow and black lab. This means he is twice the good boy. (Not my picture, found on Facebook)
this is by far the least upsetting dog chimera I’ve ever seen
Reblogging for Good Dog Chimera
Reblog for protection from the Bad Dog Chimera™ (you know the one)
When you hit your elbow against something, but that specific point of your elbow
it’s…called your funny bone…
that gif tho
It’s not a bone actually- it’s a nerve that is exposed, specifically the ulnar nerve. The reason it feels so weird to hit it is that it’s not designed to deliver pain signals, so when you hit it it just wiggs out and sends Garbage signals to the brain, and the brain is just like “uh, dude- Ulnar, what the hell is this garbage?? You’re supposed to curl a finger and a half, and move some muscles in the forearm, why are you sending me this crap? How am I supposed to make this into sensory output?” And the Ulnar nerve is just like “dude dude dude, brain- what the hell is going on?!?” And the brain goes- “idiot. Fine. You’re on fire, freezing and being electrocuted. Happy?” And the Ulnar goes “holy crap brain!! I’m on fire, freezing and being electrocuted! What am I going to do!!??!” And the brain says “you’re an idiot ulnar. A damn idiot.”
This is how human anatomy should be taught
Dumbledore, died at age 115
Horcruxes made: 0
Voldemort, died at age 71
Horcruxes made: 7
Conclusion: Voldemort was the most useless, magic dependant wizard that ever existed. He could have lived till like 200 if he just ate well and exercised, but no he had to go and split up his soul and ruin perfectly good jewellery, fucking dumbass.
this sounds like it was written by hermione granger at 1 am
He tried to use an advanced death magic spell to kill a baby. He literally doesn’t know how to do anything without magic. Just drop it out a window my dude, babies are so delicate
Aaand that was Ron
no one man should have this much power
