TANNER BLOG

1979. Married. Two kids. Baltimore. Ad Agency. Fish tanks are awesome. Original content.

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After months of frustrating legal setbacks, the kids finally started shooting their “Hoop Dreams” reboot today. #marriedtothegame #slamdunk #pizza #vhs #perrytheplatypus #nike #step2 #purllamb

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She was doing it until she wasn’t. WTF training wheels?! You had one job. #brokenbike #brokenkid #brokendreams

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Edward Christmashands | The Complete Boxed Set

🙌🎅🏻🙌🎄🙌🎁🙌⛄️

If I die today, or anytime really, I’m proud and honored that this is what my kids will have to remember me by.

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Starter Jacket: $575

Starter Hat: $205

Nerf Turbo: $1200

Nike “Bo Jackson” Trainers: $750

‘89 Upper Deck Griffey: $1,025

Spider-Man Issue 1: $425

L.L. Bean Monogrammed Backpack: $95

Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em: $3

Buying All Your 90′s Glory in 2016: $4,278 

See Lance Micheal Keaton (LMK) in motion here: https://vimeo.com/189511265

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What if I told you that a pullover jacket could take you from zero to hero? Meet Lance Michael Keaton. In 1990 he was the coolest kid in middle school. Shot on real VHS tape with a real VHS camera.

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STOP MOTION PAPER HEDGEHOG SLAPPIN’ DA BASS

Here's a pretty fun "paper cut out" animation I made at Exit10 with the best paper cutter since Edward Scissorhands, Michelle G! 

Click here to view the Behind-the-Scenes!

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"The Burbs", 1989.

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Back at it with the JFK Blown Away. #dance #dancemoves #billyjoel #princess #80s #basement #sillouette

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Princess Mismatch takin' it to the streets with her #Bose wireless. #billyjoel #wedidntstartthefire #preach #frozen #suburbs

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This one's for all the #haters man. Who needs #squadgoals when you got #squidgoals🐙🐙🐙 #peopleofparkville #parkvillians #cephalopod #sunglasses #takeaknee

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Half #butterfly, half #squid, she's a #buttersquid. #naturalhistorymuseum #hat #mutant #bed #cosplay

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EMI SINGS “HEY JUDE” ON HER TINY PLANET

If you look closely you can see me and Vicki “directing” from the steps of our back porch.

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EMI IMPERSONATES VICKI

Everything she says is true. Basically.

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EMI IMPERSONATES MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY

Matthew probably wouldn’t like this, but I think he’d respect it.

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TUNNEL OF SADNESS

So suddenly Super Emi started running into the (probably hepatitis infested) waters, so I lost track of what I was doing and smacked my head on the damn concrete ceiling. I sound so pathetic but it hurt like hell. To make things way worse, moments later while I was sitting on the ground rubbing my head she asked me why I had a big hole in my hair. I had no idea I was balding. Way to kick a guy when he's down Super Emi.

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RICE CAKE SURVIVAL GUIDE

Just a 360° panoramic shot of me and my lawyer practicing our survival skills in the woods. We did NOT bring the rice cakes with us from civilization. My lawyer found them under a patch of moss.

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THINGS JUST GOT HEAVY

Life just kicked this poor kid right in the feels. She’ll get her glorious revenge tomorrow, but for now she’s just gonna light some stuff on fire and watch it burn.