The Spoon Drawer

[lovekenney]

[lillie-garden]

the potion seller discourse is insane. cop walks into a chemist's lab and demands pure undiluted morphine. chemist says hey i don't make this for human consumption. cop insists repeatedly, crying, shitting himself. in no way is the potion seller in the wrong here.

[lillie-garden]

"the potion seller is an asshole who should have just given the knight the potion!"

you would not last 1 day in customer service

[redwaltz]

No, see, he's an asshole for not giving the cop the potion to kill himself with.

[lillie-garden]

See i would absolutely agree with this take but being directly responsible for killing the Knight would tarnish the Potion Seller's name across the kingdom. + the Knight is insisting he's going to die in battle anyways.

[lillie-garden]

clearly this is why your url is pretend-wizard 🙄 we don't know that the potion seller can't make potions that let knights handle stronger potions, all we know is that the potions that the potion seller does have are too strong. if he is effectively a pharmaceutical supplier, he probably would be supplying to other potion sellers lower down on the chain to sell distilled & diluted versions of his potions. but this, like everything, is simply an inference. with our limited facts at hand, i choose to side with the worker rather than the landed gentry.

[helpeverythingiscats]

I once made a potion that kills you but the undying one drank it and lived and it ruined my reptutation so now i'm forced to weave small coats for beetle grubs. i cant complain the beetles have good money but now whenever im spotted on the street the peasants mock me and call me beetleboy

[lillie-garden]

hi beetleboy LOL hows your beetles. loser

[helpeverythingiscats]

[fishing-princess]

I Defeated the Demon Lord but it Turns Out the Demon Army was Largely Unaffected and I Fell Victim to a Flawed Belief in Great Man Theory

[leftcosine]

I Executed The Demon Lord With One Flawless Strike And After A Brief Power Struggle The New Demon Government Is Substantially More Committed To The War Because Of Some Reason I Don't Know

[trigona-necrophaga]

my devoted but dangerously unstable knight will be hearing about this

[buttpoems]

[jungwildeandfree]

(mob boss voice) What's the matter? Ain't you never seen a skald before? This here guy composes verse to record our, like, magnificent deeds an' shit. (LOUDER) Ey Bragi! Gimme one of those fuckin eddas again!

[what-even-is-thiss]

You know as an American born in the late 90s I’ve watched my country blow up foreigners on tv supposedly in the interest of national security since I was a toddler but quite frankly we live on a natural fortress of a continent with friendly nations to our north and south and have been attacked on our own soil literally two times in the past hundred years and we have military bases on every inhabited continent on earth. It’s never made sense to do these things for “national security”. It never will make sense unless you value the shareholders of weapons companies over the lives of children. And apparently a concerning amount of people do.

[vetchtibbles]

being the second child is so lame when your older brother has no fortunes to inherit or power to come into. all of my scheming younger brother tendencies are being completely wasted like it’s not even worth putting all my efforts into usurping him and taking his place as heir. it’s not even worth it

[vetchtibbles]

like obviously I’m still going to do it because plotting and scheming are natural responses to being the second child but it’s just not the most lucrative career option anymore

[oneheadtoanother]

[what-even-is-thiss]

So many people who wanna argue with me about King Arthur clearly haven’t read the actual medieval texts. I know this because if they actually read the source material they’d know that when it comes to King Arthur, everything is made up and the points don’t matter.

[what-even-is-thiss]

“King Arthur couldn’t have fought the Roman Empire”

Try telling that to Geoffrey of Monmouth.

[what-even-is-thiss]

“You can’t just add in new characters”

Try telling that to Chrétien de Troyes. Aka the guy who invented Lancelot.

“Arthurian canon isn’t French”

Clearly you don’t own an air fryer. Also clearly you haven’t read literally anything written after the Norman invasion.

“Arthur needs to be a knight in shining armor”

If he lived at all he lived almost a thousand years before widespread adaption of plate armor.

“He can’t be in plate armor because that’s anachronistic”

Try telling that to Thomas Mallory.

“The fairy stuff is leftover from Celtic myth/Celtic gods)

A lot of that stuff including the lady of the lake wasn’t added until the 12th century actually. Centuries after England was christianized. It was also mostly added by the French poets.

[what-even-is-thiss]

God, I sure hope so.

[byjove]

I never thought I would be siding with the pope’s involvement in politics and cheering him on. I will say that.

[byjove]

[spacedewey]

Call me old fashioned, but I think the president saying "a whole civilization will die tonight" is the part where he should be deposed immediately.

[persianmom-deactivated20251026]

what will it be, boss? the comfort of misery or the pain of change?

[wizard-of-interesting-failure]

[redarmyscreaming]

[rumman]

mutuals are people u wanna eat bread dipped in olive oil with

[levourdalak]

[sapropel]

Apolitically killing bandits and savages in my video game with no messages

[diet-poison]

asked the skyrim bandits why they were living in a cave and they explained the war effort has buried the economy so they can't find work and lost their homes. I use my shout to blast them across the cave and find a preeeetty nice sword among their belongings

[churroach]

I need season 2 NOW

[lakemojave]

I've always been really confused about the world culture of Fallout, especially before the collapse.

Like it's my understanding that the timeline diverges from our own after WW2, with the United States entering a golden atomic age driven by relentless xenophobic and expansionist conquest, plunging the world into a fascistic death spiral that lead to the resource wars and nuclear armageddon. And to deliver that bleak premise with a satirical edge, it's canonical that American culture is, at least by the 2070s when the world ends, stuck in a sort of neo 50s obsession where the only music and art that's popular enough to survive the nukes is all stuff that originated more than a century beforehand.

Like I get that the criticism being made is that a culture obsessed with its own past is indicative of a bleak present crushed by imperialism and nationalism, but can you really expect me to believe that Fallout's American empire was so bad that culture and art and aesthetics were just. Frozen in time for more than 100 years? Addicted to their own past? That the American people were so embroiled in reactionary ideologies that they were incapable of moving forward and creating anything new?

Anyway did you hear they're rebooting Malcolm in the Middle this year? And the Mummy. And the Devil Wears Prada. And Masters of the Universe. And Meet the Parents. And a 5th toy story movie. And a moana remake.

Could mean nothing.