Lucas x OC x Johnny - Mature subject warning (Mentions of drug use and distribution): Pink Haze Chapter 1 (On Hold)
Ahrin often found herself in restaurants at 3am. She wasn’t there to eat, it was where she made money, and no, she was not a restaurant worker. They were always filled with people recovering from different events of the night but she was perfectly clear minded. Unaffected by the haze of the night, she did her business.
The Bubble Tea Chronicles (All members; Ongoing)
Just a for fun series where every story has bubble tea involved.
One-Shots:
Johnny x Reader - Romantic, Angst: It’s For the Best
In which Johnny is home with NCT 127 and you two revisit some old feelings...
Johnny x Reader - Angst, Romance: Enough
In which you and Johnny reach a lull in your relationship. Life gets in the way and sometimes relationships suffer...
Johnny x Reader - fluff, basketball player! Johnny: maybe soon
In which you’re the head athletic trainer of the basketball team that Johnny is the captain of…
Taeyong x Reader x Doyoung - Platonic: Meet me by the carousel
In which you're stood up by your date but your friend Doyoung happens to be there to provide a little comfort...
Doyoung x Reader - romance, angst: Last night for a table of two
In which Doyoung is caught up in a New Years’ superstition but things don’t go to plan...
Ten x Reader - angst, friends to lovers, implied sexual relations: More than friends, less than lovers
In which Ten is your best friend but also a little more...
Jaehyun x Reader - Angst - Out of Love
In which you remember how easily you and Jaehyun fell in and out of love...
Jaehyun x Reader (x Chaeyoung of Twice) - Angst, implied but one-sided wlw, cheating, implied sexual relations: killing boys
In which you find out Jaehyun has been unfaithful and Chaeyoung tries to make you feel better...
Mark x Reader - Platonic, Fluff: Constant
In which you find yourself needing a hug after a break up and seek the comfort of your best friend...
Mark x Reader - idol!Mark, fluff: Home for Christmas
In which you’re alone for Christmas and Mark tries to give you a gift to make you feel less sad...
Mark x she/her OC - Angst, Romance: Wonderless
In which Mark is at a crossroads between the two loves of his life…
Blurbs:
Johnny x Reader - romantic, Angst: Here
In which you go to a club with Johnny and get into a bit of trouble...
Johnny x Reader (x Jaemin if you squint really hard) - Fluff: Here
In which you’re dating Johnny but find yourself spending more time with the dreamies...
note i’m experimenting with writing styles, so bear with me on this one hehe! this concept is inspired by the ways we lie by stephanie ericsson. i finished this at 2am so idek (⊙‿⊙✿)
summary he knows how to lie. he knows how it works. he knows you.
There are many things Mark Lee is good at.
He knows how to rap, sing, and dance until his lungs are on fire. He knows how to plaster a smile on his face when his company offers another tiring position for him to be in. He knows how to pretend that everything is alright for him to handle. He knows how to lie.
He has a thing or two for semantics and can construct a deception for one to believe in. He maintains his composure, sticks to his story, and walks around the truth more often than he can think. He claims to dislike lying, but the person he often does it to is you. He likes to think of it as a way of protecting you as unpleasant as it really sounds.
In which you’re caught in a situation where no one can be happy
WC: 3K
CW: Jungwoo x Reader (x Mark vaguely) angst, a lot of angst. Cheating, unhealthy relationship, mild manipulation. Usual disclaimer that the characters are purely works of fiction and are not directly correlated to their namesakes in any way.
Prompt: “We can’t keep this up forever.” Part of the Candy Hearts Collab (click link for other members) hosted by @127-mile
Outwardly, the last word you would use to describe Jungwoo was “exhilarating” but he always had a way of surprising you. He was amazing. Amazing in his ability to show anyone exactly what he wanted. He had you fooled for a long time as well. Soft spoken, unassuming, funny Jungwoo who was polite to everyone he came across, put a smile on everyone's face and was the perfect boyfriend to his girlfriend.
He treated her like a princess. At least from what you could see. Watching them was pure agony and it didn't help that he had the audacity to occasionally take a glance at you with that conniving smirk on his face, all while with his girlfriend. Were you jealous of her? Rarely. Pity is what you felt whenever you passed by her but more than anything, guilt was the heaviest weight of all.
What am I doing here? You questioned yourself whenever you were with him. He was nothing like how he was with his girlfriend or friends. At least not with you. But who could deny late night adventures with him? Who was he to you anyway? A friend? He couldn't be your boyfriend… at least not now. You felt ashamed to know that you were an accomplice to infidelity. They looked so damn perfect. But were they?
[2:34AM] jungwoo: hey, you up? I'm outside your place.
You rubbed the sleep from your eyes as they adjusted to the light from your phone.
[2:36AM] you: I am now?? It's so late, what are you doing?
[2:37AM] jungwoo: not sure, let's find something together :)
[2:37AM] you: I'm not wearing pants…
[2:38AM] jungwoo: is that an invitation? ;)
[2:38AM] you: shut up, I'm coming down now.
You begrudgingly pull on a pair of track pants and throw on a hat to cover your bed head before leaving to meet up with Jungwoo. If it were anyone else, you would have pretended to not see the text at all. There always seemed to be this inescapable pull towards him whether you liked it or not because those moments where it was just the two of you in the dead of night made you feel like time slowed down. The way he accepted you into his arms and pulled you in to fit perfectly into his ever so perfectly proportioned frame - it felt like home. He kissed you ever so softly but deeply enough to make you believe that those kisses were meant for you and you alone.
But you knew that they weren't.
The tricky thing with Jungwoo is that he made you feel like the most important person to him while also feeling like he didn't want to be seen with you. Otherwise, he wouldn't call you when most of the world was asleep. You wouldn't have to sneak around behind everyone's backs. You wouldn't have to fantasize about the simplest things like holding his hand while he walked you to class.
And yet, it was worth it to you. For some bizarre reason, you were just happy to be with him and didn't care under what circumstances.
"Hey baby," he pulled you in and placed a kiss on your forehead. "Sleepy?" He smiled as he lifted your head up by your chin. The sleep was apparent in your eyes but that softened him even further. The layers of his outer persona melted away and suddenly you were left with Jungwoo in the purest form.
"What are we doing?" You hold back a yawn. He was so warm, so comforting, you just wanted to fade into him.
"I don't know yet but I'm sure we can find someone, right?" He smiled and reached out for you to follow along.
Night and day, that was exactly how Jungwoo behaved. The daytime version was this upbeat guy that made everyone laugh. People gravitated towards him naturally. He was the sun and you were Pluto. At night, the real Jungwoo would come out, the Jungwoo you fell in love with despite your best efforts to distance yourself when you found out he wasn't single. But something about him was irresistible. It could be the way he confided in you. His fears, his dreams, his most obscure thoughts that didn't fit into his days so he expressed them to you in his nights. Maybe that's why he wanted to keep you in the dark but that didn't make things any better.
Even so, with the guilt locked away in the back of your head, you happily spent the dark hours with Jungwoo. It was never anything extravagant. You often bought convenience store food and sat on a random park bench, talking about anything and everything. You took turns sneaking into each other's apartments in efforts to not wake your respective roommates. It was tradition to leave before daybreak so you often woke up by yourself, wondering if the night before was a dream.
There were times when you questioned your own sanity. Did Jungwoo only exist in your dreams? When it came to the Jungwoo you see everyday on campus, he was a different person. The extended periods of not seeing him for weeks at a time convinced you that maybe it wasn't real at all. The quiet glances you exchanged during the day were purely coincidental and your dreams were just dreams.
But when you least expected it and you had begun accepting that Jungwoo was just a dream, he would pull you away at random points during the day to remind you that he was very much real. Is this what love feels like? The rush of pure elation when you're with The One? The cliche feeling of time stopping? Or was this the excitement of getting caught and maybe worse, the everlasting awareness of how wrong this was that you tried to keep tucked away in the darkest parts of your mind.
---
It had been almost a month since Jungwoo last lured you out from the warmth of your bed. A month since you last felt his lips on yours. A month since he made you laugh until your sides ached. Maybe he finally realized this wasn't right for either of us. You conceded. It was time to move on. And though you kept waiting for him to find you in the halls to pull you into an empty office or lecture hall, it didn't happen. Instead, you felt the pull of someone wanting you both day and night.
Mark had been your friend for a while. The two of you were in the same group for orientation week and for some reason, you kept in touch. He often joked that it was because you are both perfectly awkward to the point where you combined to make one functional person. No matter the reason, he was a good friend but you were still surprised when he asked you out. You could say you saw it coming with your best friend constantly saying how Mark could never stop asking about you but it never clicked in your head to be true. Likely too caught up in Jungwoo's world, you never stopped to experience your own.
So you said yes.
Things felt so easy with Mark. It was nice to not have to sneak around to go out with someone you kind of liked. He walked you to class, held your hand and did the simplest things to make your heart flutter. Mark never pulled you away for no reason. He didn't take your breath away but he certainly made you feel safe and warm. You tried your best to forget about Jungwoo and it was starting to work. Eventually, Jungwoo became an afterthought with Mark around but as always, Jungwoo always had a way with you.
Walking to get lunch one day, you felt a sudden pull on your wrist. Turning, you see Jungwoo. Your brain told you to pull away at risk of Mark seeing you but your heart wanted to follow Jungwoo. And follow him, you did, into an empty classroom with the lights off. The moment you entered, Jungwoo closed the door behind you and pulled you into his arms.
"I missed you." His voice nearly broke.
"Where have you been?" You melt into his body.
"Things got a bit complicated…" he looked down, staring at your lips.
"Tell me." You stared back.
Before either of you could say anything more, you kissed each other desperately. A craving you didn't know you had was being fulfilled and it was truly intoxicating. You were addicted to him. As your mind finally caught up to what you were doing, the thought of Mark being hurt by what you were doing flashed into your brain. The guilt got caught in your throat and you pushed him away.
"What are you doing?" He said, offended that you would reject him at all.
"We can't keep this up forever." You say as you gasp for a breath.
"What do you mean?" He tries to pull you back into the kiss.
"This, Jungwoo!" You finally push him off and motion to the
"Can we not do this now? Please." He reached for your hand but you pulled away. As much as you missed him and wanted to dissolve into his arms again, it was too much.
"We do this now or we're done. We're hurting people and it's not okay anymore." You cross your arms.
"What? You really want to be with Mark? Yeah right, like you're not just using him to-" he was cut off by the ringing of your phone. He tries to snatch it away from you but you pull away before answering the call.
"Hey Mark." You try to sound as normal as possible.
"Hey, I thought we were meeting up after class. Are you okay?" He says.
Jungwoo is now glaring at you and the waves of jealousy were more apparent now than ever but you continue your conversation, "Yeah, sorry, I had to talk to my professor about something. I'm heading over to meet you now."
The call ended and you wished that would mark the end of your confrontation with Jungwoo. "Don't go." He sounded like he was begging.
"This isn't going to end well for anyone. We need to just end things before we can't turn back." You sigh as you collect your bag. It took every ounce of your being to not plant a kiss on his cheek to say goodbye like you usually did. This was likely the last time you would have this chance but you pass in favour of just cutting things off completely.
You tried to forget about Jungwoo. You really tried. You wanted to have the same feelings that you had for Jungwoo with Mark but it wasn't sitting right at all.
"Are you okay?" Mark asked from across the table at the cafe you two were studying at.
"Hmm?" You responded.
"You seem really spaced out. Did something happen?" He said with honest concern.
"No… well yeah but… it's complicated." You struggle to explain.
"What's going on?" He held your hand but you instinctively pulled away, leaving him confused and mildly offended.
"You're going to think I'm a terrible person."
"You think peaches are better than watermelon, how much worse can you get?" He smiled and you reciprocated.
Why does he have to be so nice and cute? You cursed at yourself.
"Peaches are a more practical fruit than watermelon." You joke back and the two of you chuckle but it didn't make things any easier to say.
"Whatever it is, I'm your friend. I know I asked you out and I'm not quite sure what we are at this point but I like you no matter how bad you think what you're doing is." He assured you and you once again, curse yourself for what you're about to do.
"Hypothetically…" you say slowly and he listens intently. "Hypothetically, let's say you're seeing someone but they're already someone's boyfriend or girlfriend…"
"Hypothetically that would be messed up." Mark concludes.
"I'm not done." You glare at him and he shrugs. "But hypothetically, let's say the person you're seeing is more real and raw with you than anyone else. And you feel a stronger connection to them than anyone else."
"I think hypothetically," he emphasizes for your sake, "it's still wrong. Everyone would just end up hurt in the end no matter what happens." He sits back in his chair, waiting for your response.
"Yeah, I know. Why do I have to have a conscience?" You bury your head into your crossed arms across your open textbook.
"Is that what's happening?" Mark leaned in.
"Yeah but I broke things off." You say with your head still hidden from the world.
"For me?" Mark smirks but you look up to glare at him.
"Partially for you but mainly because I'm fully aware that it's wrong." You sigh.
"I'll be honest, I like you a lot. But I think with the way you talk about this person, you're still attached to them."
"I'm sorry, Mark." You pout at him.
He holds your hand again, lifting it up to place a kiss on your hand. "I'll be alright. I just hope you will be too.”
---
"I don't get why you broke up with Mark. That guy is like… The ideal boyfriend." Your best friend ranted over the phone.
"We weren't together so we didn't break up." You clarify as you squeeze the bridge of your nose. She had been your best friend for 15 years so, naturally, she had an amazing talent of giving you headaches with little to no effort.
"Are you even aware of how many girls who are absolutely in love with that guy? And you broke up with him?" She practically yells.
"I'm aware and once again, we didn't break up!” You remind her.
"Whatever. You're the one whining about being alone on Valentine's Day."
"No, you're the one who called me to whine about Valentine's Day and you're the one with a boyfriend. What? Jaehyun only got you one dozen roses except for two?" You chuckle.
"We've been together for two years. It makes sense to get two dozen."
"Alright, alright. Go talk to him about it, I'm sure he'll make it up to you in other ways." You say suggestively and you swear you could hear her blush over the phone.
"Shut up! Oh my god. Please call Mark and ask him to hang out. You're too cute to be alone today." She said before you hung up on her.
You tossed your phone onto your bed before doing the same with your body. Maybe I should call Mark… But I'm the one who ended things… I could call him but he's probably with his girlfriend. You groaned in frustration as your best friend's words resonated in your head. She's right though. Mark is the ideal boyfriend but so is Jungwoo… If he were single. Why is this happening to me?
A knock came from the front door of your apartment. Your roommate was out for the night with her boyfriend so you were puzzled about who would be coming to visit.
"Hey." A slightly disheveled Jungwoo greeted you when you opened the door.
You try to harden your expression for him but he's truly your weakness. Especially in this state where he's looking like he hadn't slept in who knows how long. "What are you doing here?" You finally ask when you let him in and he collapses on the sofa.
"I'm here to see you." He says but you roll your eyes.
"Okay but why? Why aren't you spending Valentine's Day with your girlfriend?" You interrogated him.
"Oh. We broke up." He said nonchalantly.
"You what? When?"
"A week ago… I was trying to call or message you but I couldn't get through." He says and you tell him you blocked his phone number. "That's harsh… but what about you? Why aren't you with Mark?" He throws the ball back in your court.
"We stopped seeing each other…" you say quietly and Jungwoo looks at you with wide eyes.
"When?"
"Right after I broke things off with you. Things just didn't feel right." You explained but realized you had done a terrible job at that.
"I see…" The two of you sat in silence for a few moments before you heard him say quietly, “she was cheating on me the whole time.”
Shocked was an understatement for the flood of emotions you were suddenly experiencing. “That doesn’t make what we were doing any less wrong.” You resolved to say.
“I know. I don’t really know why I didn’t just break up with her…”
“So… what? You just used me to make yourself feel better?” You accused him.
“What? No! I care for you more than I have ever cared about anyone else.”
“Then why didn’t you leave her? Why did you choose her?” You stood up, demanding an answer.
“I…” He started but hit a wall in trying to come up with a reasonable answer. This wasn’t how he was planning for this to go. This wasn’t how he played this out in his head. What could he possibly say to make you less upset with him? How could he fix this?
“It’s funny because I thought that we really had something and I was delusional enough to think that we could work…” You started and he stared at you intently. “But I’m still just your second choice.”
“You’re not…” he said, sounding out of breath.
“I am! You wouldn’t be here otherwise. You wouldn’t have started anything with me if I was your first choice. You wouldn’t keep me in the literal dark. You wouldn’t sneak away with me. You wouldn’t keep this a secret.”
“Hold on. I thought you liked that stuff.” He stood up in order to tower over you again.
“It was fun but so was dating someone in public… like normal. Not having to feel like I’m doing something wrong anytime I look at you or think about you.” You said, stepping away when he tried to pull you into his arms.
“You make it sound like I was the one doing something wrong?” He started to sound angry.
“That’s not what I’m saying. We both were. I knew it was wrong too and that guilt was just too much.”
⚬ warnings ⇁ god, it’s horrifically sad, cheating, angst, drug use, smut, mark eats pussi like a god, had to mention that, if i forgot anything tell me!!
⚬ word count ⇁ 9.5 k
⚬ a/n: hey everyone if yall don’t know tumblr terminated my blog like a few hours after i posted this so im reposting her because i worked so hard and so long on this and i’m vvv proud of her !! hope you enjoy !!
part one of the moonlight series
“We don’t have to go to the club every night.”
You rolled on your side watching him sit up, scratching his exposed back with a quiet hum. Mark let his head fall back at the sensation, his hands rubbing his own shoulders as he groaned softly. You two just woke up from a nap that was supposed to last only an hour, but when you two woke up the sun was setting. You assumed Mark forgot to set the alarm he promised he’d set, you didn’t really care though, you loved sleeping with Mark.
“I feel like I should help Taeil out. We did fuck up the bathroom–”
“We didn’t fuck it up. You just came everywhere.” You deadpanned with a dry laugh feeling his back rise and fall hearing his laughter soon follow.
“Don’t act like you didn’t make a mess too. I made you–”
“Okay, okay, shut up. That was one time and I hated it. I was so embarrassed.”
Mark turned towards you with a taunting smirk on his lips, you slid your hand up his chest groaning softly at how warm he was. You curled yourself up into a fetal position, your knees pressing against the bottom of his spine. He laid back down rolling onto his side as he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling your chest against his making you blush softly.
“We can stay here for a few more minutes.”
“Few more hours.” You hopefully corrected feeling him laugh softly, running a soothing hand up and down your back. “Maybe an hour. I should really go and help out.” He whispered his voice already getting tired and heavy again, you wrapped yourself around him with a groan of protest.
“You’re so needy and clingy.” Mark teased slowly rolling on top of you to press his lips to your temple. You pressed your hands against his stomach, splaying your fingers out with a small smile as you glanced up at him.
“It’s because I like being with you.” You simply rebuttal as you wrapped your legs around his torso, his shirt falling down to expose your thighs making you laugh softly.
“I think you just like my dick.” He’s obviously teasing but you rolled your eyes anyway, turning your head away from him with a small chuckle. If you stuck around for Mark’s dick, you would’ve left a long time ago.
Even though you liked being with Mark, you enjoyed being his girlfriend and all the perks that came with that, but you couldn’t get over the fact that you two just didn’t fit together. Kissing him was messy and uncoordinated, when you two danced together he was always one beat behind, and sex, oh god, sex took forever to get right. You were grateful you two got to this point. But you loved Mark, you loved him so much, you wanted to this to work out so bad, you wanted to be like Taeil and his wife, they were so perfect and happy, you wanted that.
“If that’s the case you’re just here for my pussy.” He laughed loudly, pressing his face into the crook of your neck still laughing.
“I mean…” He trailed off with a shrug making you gasp shoving him playful only making him laugh more.
“You’re so annoying, Mark.”
“Mmm shut up.” He teased sitting up between your legs, his eyes read of mischief and something else you couldn’t read. That look made your stomach twist. You swallowed thickly, resting your hands on your stomach waiting for him to make any type of move. He just dragged his fingers up and down your exposed thighs humming softly.
“I wanna eat you out.”
Your eyes widened a little bit at that, holding tightly onto your shirt before letting your legs close with a small shake of your head.
This was going to sound bad, but it was the truth. You couldn’t have sex with Mark sober. It was awful. It felt weird and unnatural, there was a disconnect that neither one of you would talk about. You two had the fundamentals of a healthy relationship, but things were just off. He knitted his brows together looking down at you, he sighed quietly before rolling off of you running a hand through his hair.
“No?”
“I’m sleepy, Mark.” You whispered looking over at him. You weren’t technically lying, you were sleepy.
He opens his mouth to say something but closes it after a second of contemplation, taking a deep breath through his nose before rolling on his side to wrap him around you once again. He nosed at your cheek a little, pressing the softest kiss to your cheekbone his eyes staring at your lips. You turned your head towards him, your nose rubbing against his making you smile sweetly your eyes fluttering shut peacefully.
“I’m gonna go to Moonlight. Help set up, get some good shit for us, and we’ll have a nice night together when I get back. Sound nice?” You nodded a little at that offer, leaning in to kiss him quickly before nuzzling his nose softly. He stared down at you humming softly giving you a soft kiss on your lips, sitting up leaving you cold and alone. You were content though. You liked being alone.
You turned your head towards your boyfriend, cheeks tinted pink as he turned his back towards you. You raked your nails down his back watching hm arch away from you, a quiet giggle filling the room as he pulled his shirt on. You rolled away from him, pulling the blanket over your head to mute the sounds of him pattering around the room to find his pants.
“You want me to bring home food?”
You pulled back the blanket to look at him standing in the doorway, soothing down his black shirt down making you smile graciously.
“You know me so well.” You smiled putting your hand out which he took with both hands without hesitation, his thumbs kneading into your palm making you smile softly curling your fingers to encapsulate his fingers in your hand.
“You got your key?”
“Yup.” He assures lifting your hand to his lips, pressing gentle kisses to your knuckles.
“How long are you going to be gone?”
“An hour, maybe, two at max.”
“I’ll miss you.” You whispered looking up at him with big eyes watching him bite the inside of his cheek as a smile grew on his lips. He simply kissed your hand once again as he dropped your hand. He leaned down to press his lips to the top of your head, you smiled sweetly up at him as you wrapped your arms around your pillow.
“I’ll miss you too, baby. I’ll be back soon.” With that, he walked out of your apartment leaving you alone.
In which Mark is at a crossroads between the two loves of his life...
WC: 1676 words
CW: angst, a smidge of fluff, use of a few profane words. Band!NCT, lead singer!Mark x she/her oc
A/N: vaguely based off of Wonderless by Pierce the Veil
Meeting her was the best and worst thing to ever happen to Mark. He always told himself that the day he falls in love with someone is the day he would start to cut back on his work. He never anticipated that day to come so early in his career. It was a crush that got out of control and before things got too serious, he had to make a choice: his love or his dreams.
"I just want you to be happy, Mark." She said tearfully that night he made his decision. The image of her forced smile through her sad eyes is the most vivid memory he has.
"I'm sorry." He said to her but she quickly brushed it off.
"There's nothing to be sorry about. This is what you've been working for, you need to go chase it," she wiped her eyes, "I'll always be cheering you on so don't turn back, okay?" She held onto his hands so tightly until she finished that sentence. Her grip weakened and Mark's hands dropped to his sides.
He wanted to say something so bad. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, thank her for everything she's done for him but he was afraid that if he opened his mouth, he would tell her he's staying. Instead, she said it all, "I love you, Mark Lee. Do good."
Mark still regrets not watching her walk away after she left a kiss on his cheek and ran her fingers through his hair for the last time. He still regrets not doing enough to make stronger memories with her. She was always there for him during the long nights of writing and recording, sleeping on the tiny couch of the tiny recording studio he and his band rented. She was always by his side through it all but ultimately, he had to leave her behind.
"Hey Mark!" Johnny poked Mark with his drumsticks. "You done daydreaming?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."
The crowd was buzzing as their set time approached. This is what Mark loved so much about performing but there was still something missing. He knew exactly what it was.
Hanging his guitar over his shoulders, he downed his beer before meeting his band backstage.
She kept him grounded. She reminded him that outside of the recording studio, off the stage and beyond the interviews, he was just Mark Lee. But lately, the feeling was he didn't know who Mark Lee was anymore and it was starting to seep toxicity into every area of his life.
"Mark! Let go!" Johnny and Jaehyun jumped in to pull him off of their youngest band member and rhythm guitarist.
"Stay the fuck away from me!" Mark spat as the much larger Johnny restrained him while Jaehyun did the same to Haechan.
"What the hell is going on?" Taeyong, their lead guitarist and de facto leader stood between the two youngest as they both tried to break from their restraints.
"Ask him!" Haechan used his chin to motion at Mark.
"Me? He's been getting on my nerves since the start of this damn tour!" Mark roared.
"I don't care! I don't care what the fuck is going on between you two but you can't be going for each other's throats right before a show!" Taeyong yelled.
"Whatever." Haechan finally shook free from Jaehyun's arms. "Dude needs to get laid." He said under his breath but was still loud enough for Mark to hear.
Johnny, thinking the dust had settled, dropped his guard and gave Mark a chance to lunge at Haechan but Taeyong stepped in front of him before he could do anything else. "I don't know what's going on but you need to go cool off." Taeyong said quietly, but sternly.
"I'll play this show but only because we get a break from the tour after…" Mark chewed his words.
The show was noticeably tense. The usual friendly banter between them onstage was replaced by rehearsed lines to hopefully draw a laugh from the crowd. Their fans could easily tell there was something up with lead singer, Mark, so no one was surprised when he declined to sign autographs that night. Instead, Mark retreated to their tour bus, grabbed the bag he had packed before the show, and asked their manager to drive him straight to the airport. He was going home. For how long? He wasn't sure but he really didn't want to go back on tour. He wanted her.
With a tendency to act on impulse, he had no plans for what he was going to do when he landed. It had been just over two years since that night… did she really mean it? He wondered. She's always been one to keep her word so he trusted her and made his way back to the neighbourhood where he grew up.
As the taxi made its way into the deep suburbs, Mark felt a relief of comfort on top of nostalgia. This is where he fell in love with music. This is where he found love. Passing by his parents' house, he made a silent promise to visit them once he settled his business.
Walking up those steps and pressing the doorbell took him back to the first time he picked her up for a date. He didn't have his license at the time so his dad was on the driveway, idling while he nervously waited to see her. He held his breath like he did back then. Like he always did when he was waiting to see her.
"Oh hi Mrs.-" Mark began to greet her mom but he was instantly pulled into a hug.
"Honey! Come down!" Her dad yelled upstairs.
Mark's eyes widened as he focused on her descending towards him. Her mom peeled away, allowing him to scoop her up into his arms. His favourite person. The muse for all of his songs. His anchor.
They stood, wrapped in each other's arms for a long time before he finally spoke.
"I love you." He said just loud enough for her to hear.
"You really came to say that?" She giggled.
"Yeah, I did." He tightened his arms around her waist, determined to imprint the feeling into his brain along with her scent and the warmth of her cheek against his neck.
"I missed you." She confessed, finally pulling away to examine Mark.
"You didn't go out of town for university?" He smirked.
"I mean… Not for you… they had the program I wanted here but… yeah, maybe it was a little bit for you." She blushed.
He was relieved but he also felt guilty that she felt the need to stay for him, waiting for him. Maybe this could have worked if he was just a little bit more committed, he wouldn't have had to give her up for his band.
"So why did you really come back?" She asked him as they took a walk through the park, chasing the sparse lights, showing the path in the night.
"Why did you wait?" He answered.
"Answer me first." She pushed him lightly.
"I don't really know. I just felt like I had to, so I did." He shrugged.
"Typical Mark Lee, doing things without thinking first." She giggled.
"Is that bad?"
"Not when it's you. You act with your heart and that's what I've always loved about you." She eased his worries.
"So why did you wait?"
"I was worried. I knew that one day, you might need an escape from that world and I wanted to be here when you did." She went on but Mark got lost in her voice. He missed her voice so much. The way she would stumble on her words when she spoke too fast, the unique intonations she had for certain words. There was just something about her that made him feel normal.
There was a point in his past where he craved being on stage. The bright stage lights and roaring crowd were addictive. They sang every word he sang and they cheered after every song. But somewhere along the way, the lights were disorienting and the cheers were suffocating. The songs he wrote and sang were about and for her.
"Mark?" She poked him.
"Yeah?" He shook his head out of the clouds.
"You were off in your own world again." She laughed as she ran her fingers through his hair.
"Sorry." He laughed softly while rubbing the back of his neck.
"So when are you leaving?"
"I don't think I want to." He took a deep breath and appreciated that he wasn't trapped on a tour bus with a bunch of sweaty dudes.
"What? Mark, you can't stay here!" She gawked at him.
"Wait wait wait… you don't want me to stay?"
"Of course not! Mark you're so good at what you love, I would hate to be the reason why you give it all up." She said.
"Then why did you stay here?" He yelled at her for the second time in their relationship. His memories were modified to suit his needs. What truly happened was not as calm and perfect as he wanted it to be. He was begging her to go with him but she refused. She promised that she would always be there for him but she couldn't give up her life for him. "You're the one who said you couldn't give up your dreams and yet you're still here!"
"I… things change." She wanted to yell back but she couldn't.
"Then why can't I change my mind and choose you?"
"That would be the wrong choice… I stayed because when you left, I was afraid to leave too." She started to explain, "I was ready to go to university. Everything was packed but it didn't feel right. I wasn't ready. It's different, Mark. You know what you want and you're doing exactly what you want. I'm still trying to figure it out."
✈ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: angst, fluff, based on ATEEZ’s storyline event prompts
✈ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: mention of death
✈ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: With Seonghwa gone, Yunho must find a way to go on without his inspiration.
Yunho and his brother
A text. That’s what’s ending it all. You’ll be fine on your own. Take care of yourself. Yunho blinks down at the ground he walks on. Above him, stars twinkle and the moon shines brighter than the sun, but he can only keep mulling the words over and over in his head. He’s not sure how long he’s been walking, but he knows he’s far enough away from the airport and Incheon that he no longer hears the gentle cresting waves and occasional seagull song. The street has gone from concrete to cobblestone to pavement and now dirt. Rocks crunch beneath his sneakers and it’s obnoxiously loud, but nothing can interrupt his repetitive, obsessive train of thought. It makes it even worse to know that he couldn’t do anything to stop him. Much like a friend lost to time and misery, Yunho wasn’t able to make Seonghwa stay.
“the seats are awfully uncomfortable, aren’t they?” he nudged her, trying to lighten up the mood.
“yeah, they sure are”
they were silent for a few minutes. she closed her eyes trying to control her breathing, not wanting to believe the moment she was in right then.
he was going away, and no one exactly knew when he’d be back. not even he himself knew. it could be months, years maybe. leaving her back home, all alone.
“hey, are you okay?” he asked, curious as to why the girl who usually would never stop talking, turned mute.
“um yeah?” she shrugged it off as if it wasn’t a big deal.
then they were silent again. who would’ve thought that silence was the most piercing sound there ever was? truthfully, she wanted to tell him everything, about her feelings about him. that she loved him. and she wanted to not care whether he felt the same or not.
but she does, at this moment, her only importance was to not lose him as a friend. even if it meant she was going to sacrifice her own heart for his.
“Good evening passengers. This is the pre-boarding announcement for flight 89B to Seoul. We are now inviting those passengers with small children, and any passengers requiring special assistance, to begin boarding at this time. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready. Regular boarding will begin in approximately ten minutes time. Thank you.” the announcement broke her train of thoughts.
“okay, we have ten minutes. walk me to the gate?” he said half jokingly while handing her his hand, “let’s goooo we don’t have much timeeee” he nagged.
slowly, she finally took his hand in his. her heart wrenched, knowing this wasn’t anything more than a friendly gesture.
soon enough they were in front of the gate. still silent, still holding hands. the airport speakers announced the final boarding call. they had five minutes. five minutes before he left for good.
“hey,” he called, gently while looking at her, who’s eyes were already brimmed with tears. “don’t cry, please”.
he lightly stroked the back of her hands, looking into her eyes, “do you have any last words you want to say to me?”
“i-i love you, mark” she said, holding her breath.
“i love you, too”
“and thank you, for everything. through knowing you, i understood what friendship really meant. truly, thank you”
she couldn’t take it anymore, her tears streamed down her face, her breath heavy. he immediately pulled her into a warm embrace and she cried onto his shoulder. there was no way she was gonna tell him, not after what he had said.
“i’ll miss you the most. but i have to go now. i’m sorry” he said solemnly, whilst letting her go. then without looking back, he walked into the gates and was soon out of sight.
she had always have a soft spot in her heart for airports at midnight. there’s something about the darkness bleeding through the windows, the gentle strum of suitcases being dragged upon shiny marble flooring, or the sighs of people barely holding in the sleep they deprived that was in a way feels calming to her.
but not tonight. not after he left. not after she had to eat her heart up just for her to not lose him. definitely not tonight.
♥ ℙ𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤: Storyline!Seonghwa x The girl in the diary film
♥ 𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕣𝕖: angst, based on the prompts for ATEEZ’s storyline event
♥ 𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤: mention of death
♥ 𝕊𝕦𝕞𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕪: Yunho followed in Seonghwa’s footsteps to become a singer, but the older struggles to decide if he even wants it anymore.
Seonghwa’s Memory
It’s been five hours and Seonghwa isn’t sure why he’s still standing here. People pass him to and fro on the cobblestone sidewalk and even bump into him sometimes but he can only continue staring down at the palm of his hand. The sparkling ocean before him has been of no interest, even when the sun had set on it a while ago. It looked like a symphony of yellows and oranges and pinks dancing on the water but he didn’t care. He still doesn’t. Even now, with the crescent moon shining weakly on the surface, he still can’t seem to rip his swollen and aching gaze away from the shining metal in his hand.
Summary: in which Yuta works at a bubble tea cafe and develops a crush on one of his regulars.
A/N: this was actually adapted from a WIP I have for Johnny but the scenario I had for Yuta is basically the same.
"Jasmine milk tea with grass jelly please." A familiar voice said, accompanied by the usual reusable cup and straw. Yuta looked up and confirmed who it was, her voice was like music to him after an image lunch rush.
"Half sweet, less ice?" He asked.
"Always." She smiled.
"This one's my treat." Yuta smiled
"Thanks Yuta." She grabs her drink and leaves to return to work.
"Have a good day." He smiled at her with sparkling eyes.
It was the same thing everyday at the same time. She always had headphones hanging around her neck that she removed from her ears the moment she entered the shop. She always ordered the same drink in her own reusable cup. During the winter, she would get it hot. She was always wearing all black but in ways that made her seem classy and elegant.
"Are you going to ask her out any time soon?" Winwin pokes at Yuta as they clean up from the lunch rush.
"She's dating someone." Yuta sighs.
"Of course she is. You always fall for the ones you can't have." Winwin chuckles as Yuta lands a punch on his arm. "Hey that's harassment!"
"Is it actually if you're my best friend of 10 years?" Yuta smirks.
He wasn't wrong though. Yuta has the tendency to become infatuated with the idea of someone long before he actually has a chance to get to know them on a deep level. He would say that he knew y/n for about a year now but in reality, he knew nothing about her.
---
The next day, Yuta was on his own for the lunch rush. Winwin called in sick and no one else was available to take his shift. By the time y/n walked in, Yuta was ready to collapse.
"Hey, is everything okay?" She peered up at him with her dark eyes.
"Yeah, Winwin called in sick and no one else could cover." Yuta sighed as he ran his hand through his hair. "The usual?"
"You don't have to today if you're tired." She insisted.
"No, no. It's on the house today." He takes her mug and starts to make her drink.
"Yuta you don't-"
"Please, you're the nicest person that's spoken to me today and you're honestly the highlight of my day." Yuta admitted in his tired state before realizing what he was saying.
"Sorry, I didn't catch that last part." She stood on her toes to look at him over the espresso machine.
"Oh I just said uh my day wouldn't be complete if I didn't make your drink." Yuta choked on his words.
"You're the best, Yuta." She said after sipping her bubble tea.
"Have a good day, y/n." He said to her as she walked out the door with a chime.
He was ready to collapse but he felt lighter after seeing her smile. He always smiled when she did but it quickly faded when he realized he couldn't do more for her than make her drink. As he was about to sit down for a break, the door chimed again and he saw y/n back again.
"Did I make it wrong?" He panicked.
"No, never." She assured him. "I just got you some juice and bread though I realize now this is redundant because you have this stuff here…" she trails off.
Yuta smiles, thinking how cute she was before taking the offerings and thanking her. "It's the thought that counts, thanks."
"I just wanted to pay you back for the free drinks over the past few months. You also give me my toppings for free and I don't know how you know I like pudding but it's a nice surprise and… Ugh I'm rambling. Thanks." She quickly smiled and left again.
---
"No bro, I'm glad you didn't come in. It was awful and I wanted to pass out but then she came in and oh man she's surprisingly cute." Yuta said to Winwin over the phone.
"Can I stay home tomorrow then?" Winwin joked.
"I will end you." Yuta responded seriously.
"Aww man I thought y/n softened you up so much." Winwin laughed.
"I will come to your house and drag you out if you're not at work tomorrow." Yuta hung up.
The door chimed and Yuta looked up to see a red-eyed y/n. "Hey Yuta." She forced a smile. "Mind if I just hang out here for a bit?" She retreated to a table in the corner.
"Is everything okay?" Yuta brought a glass of water to her.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks." She smiled again while sipping the water.
"Let me know if you need anything." He put a hand on her shoulder which caused her to burst into tears. "Oh my god I'm so sorry, did I hurt you?" He kneels down to try and look at her face.
"No. No, I'm fine." She says between sobs, "I'm just having a bad day." She tries to laugh.
"You don't have to keep pretending like you're okay. Not with me." He says quietly to her. Looking around, he noticed most of his regular patrons had vacated the cafe out of respect. "I'm going to close up for the day. Do you want to help me? Keep your mind occupied for a little bit? No pressure, just get up when you're ready."
"Don't close, I'll just leave." She tries to get up but she's unsteady.
"It's been a long day. I want to go home anyway." He said as he eases her back into the chair. "Take your time."
The closing duties usually don't take him that long but today he wanted to stretch them out as long as possible. He counted everything multiple times, peering up to look at y/n every time. Slowly, he noticed that the more he counted, the more she started to perk up. Before, she was hiding her face in her hands or in her arms as they laid on the table but she progressively moved to looking out the window with her head perched on her hand. Finally, he looked up and saw her starting longer staring at him, startling him.
"You know for a scary looking guy, you're not that scary." She said.
"Look who finally stopped crying." He smirked at her.
"Do you want me to start crying again?" She pouted.
"No, you can help me wipe down the tables though." He tossed a towel at her.
"Are you going to pay me?" She caught it and took the spray bottle from the counter.
"Yes, you can have anything and everything you want from my display case. Take them or Winwin will take them home for his roommates." Yuta motioned to the treats behind glass.
"I accept." She smiles and begins to clean the tables.
Yuta watches for a moment, admiring her with her sleeves rolled up and hair pulled up into a ponytail.
"You're experienced. Way out of my pay scale." He laughs.
"I worked in a restaurant all through university. They even asked me to be manager but I wasn't interested." Yuta wasn't surprised. She had a natural sense of leadership to her. No matter where she went, there was a light that seemed to follow her.
"You could be the manager here so I can get a day off once in a while." He joked.
"I wouldn't mind, you deserve a break." Yuta gaped at her for a moment before she added "I'm serious! As long as I get to take home the cakes at the end of the day."
They continued to clean in silence for a few moments before she broke the silence. "How long have you worked at this place?" She leaned over the counter and watched him.
"Just over 4 years." He said with furrowed brows as he carefully wiped his baby down.
"That's quite a long time."
"I started working here as soon as my parents let me. I've been saving for my own cafe since then. The owner was retiring and had already finished paying the place off so he offered it to me for really cheap. When I turned 21, I signed the papers and here we are." He exhaled.
"What did you go to school for?" She asked.
"You ask a lot of questions." Yuta leaned across from her.
"It's my job." She shrugged.
"What do you do? Why do you wear all black?" He raised his eyebrow.
"I'm a recruiter. And I just like wearing black to work. It looks clean, put together."
"And are you going to tell me what made you so upset today?" Yuta attempted.
"Can I just have my cake and bubble tea?" She pouted.
"Yeah, you can." He didn't pry any further, "you don't have to smile all of the time."
"Thanks Yuta." She said, her usual bright smile fading to reveal a small glimpse into her soul.
Silence fell back over them as she watched Yuta pack up her wage for her work before they stepped out. "Do you want me to walk you home?" He offered as he locked down the shop.
"I'll be okay. Thank you for the offer though." She stood on her toes to give him a quick peck on the cheek, "and thanks for the food." She smiled before walking away, leaving Yuta to wonder what had happened that day.
CW: a bit of angst, mostly just sibling things ft. Younger brother! Renjun
WC: 1287 (why am I writing more and more with each one of these lol)
Summary: in which Renjun is a bit too overbearing as a little brother and you hurt his feelings.
A little brother was what you've always wanted. Teaching him everything you knew, playing and running around with him but most importantly, protecting him. But you never anticipated the roles reversing with him protecting you. Renjun always seemed to stand up and speak up for you. He'd managed to overtake you in height by the time he turned 16 and despite his soft appearance, he never hesitated to fight.
He was especially particular about your choice in boyfriends. You had a tendency to fall for guys who went on to break your heart. At this point, you weren't sure if it was a you problem or a them problem but usually, it was easier to just blame yourself to reach some type of closure.
A knock came on your door, trailed by the quiet voice of your brother, "mom said to call you for dinner."
"I'm not hungry!" You yelled, trying not to break down into tears.
"What's wrong? You're never not hungry." He said and he was right. You had a healthy appetite, especially when you were upset so it was very rare for you to not want to eat anything at all.
"I'm fine." You lied.
"You're not, I'm coming in!" Renjun said and entered before you could protest further.
"I didn't say you could come in!" You shouted but he ignored you.
"I told you that guy was no good!" He yelled at you.
"That's what you say about all of them." You retreated into the ball you had formed yourself into.
"And have I ever been wrong?" He gawked at you but you didn't have a come back for him. There was just something so odd about your younger brother being your protector. He was always right and you hated that.
"Can you just leave me alone? Tell mom I'm busy with an assignment. I'll eat later." He tried to protest before you glared up at him through tearful eyes. "Please Renjun."
It seemed like he was born this way. From the moment he opened his eyes as a baby, he was ready to protect you. When your parents scolded you, he would scream until they stopped. When you were both in school, he would stand up to the bullies who picked on you. He had a fire in him that honestly made you quite jealous. Not only in defending you but in defending his friends, doing well in school, dance, and everything else in between.
How could you let your baby brother be so much better than you? You often asked yourself. He was always praised by your parents before turning around to scold you for not being as good as Renjun. It was infuriating. So when he tries to insert himself into areas of your personal life, your blood boiled.
"Are you okay?" Your best friend asked when you answered their call.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" You lied. You didn't want them to know that they were right about your ex as well.
"Your brother texted me and he said you've locked yourself in your room for almost 2 days."
"He what?" You yelled.
"Yeah he told me what happened and said he was worried. He asked if I could try cheering you up." They continued.
"That little piece of… let me call you back." You hung up before throwing your phone on your bed and storming out of your room. Thankfully, your parents weren't home so they wouldn't stop you from potentially killing their precious son. "HUANG RENJUN." You yelled.
"Oh hey, you're out of your room!" He smiled but his expression changed instantly when he saw the rage in your eyes.
"You don't know when to mind your own business, do you? Stay out of my life!" You screamed at your brother. It was the first time you've truly blown up at him and it shocked both of you.
"I'm your brother, I care about you." He said quietly.
"Sometimes I wish I never asked for a brother." You said. "If I had known that you would be so overbearing and suffocating, I wouldn't have asked." The regret instantly washed over you as you looked up and saw the pain that caused him.
"Alright then." He said simply and retreated to his room.
"Renjun! I-" you followed him but he slammed the door in your face and you heard the click of the door lock.
You've only made him upset a handful of times in your life. All of them were when he was a toddler and for a few years, you were the overbearing sibling. Maybe he always knew his duty was to look out for you from day one and that's why he cried when you fussed too much over him. You asked for him so maybe he was meant to be your guardian for life.
The guilt of hurting him overrode the pain you were feeling from your recent breakup. Strangely, nothing hurt more than the pain of knowing you hurt the person who would always care about you the most. You didn't want to admit he was right multiple times in the past but… He was. All of those people you dated in the past were low hanging fruit and you deserved better. You knew deserved better but you also just wanted to feel wanted.
There was only one thing that would get him to consider forgiving you. Just barely but if you knew anything about your little brother, this would be the thing to get him to drop a grudge.
After getting what you needed, you came home and made a beeline to Renjun's room, completely ignoring your parents' greetings as nothing was more important than this. To be honest with yourself, getting out of the house was a relief. It helped you get out of your own mind and cycle of being angry then missing your ex before restraining yourself from messaging them.
You placed a gentle knock on his door and you waited. He would either ignore you and let you wait there all night or there would be the very slight chance that he opens the door, takes your peace offering and retreats into his room. Hoping for the latter, you hear his steps approach his door and the lock clicks, signaling to you that he wasn't angry anymore.
"Baby brother…" you coo as you open the door and stick your head in. His headphones are over his ears and he's busy clicking away at his hand but you know for a fact that there's no music playing. Your brother is anything if not petty so he would love to hear you admit how wrong you were. And that's exactly what you did. "Look, what I said was way out of line and unnecessary. I'm sorry I said that to you… You're right and I'm glad to have you around to stand up for me." You place the cup of bubble tea next to his mousepad and he silently opened the straw and stabbed the drink, taking a sip before continuing his game.
Accepting that as a sign of forgiveness, you turned to leave before he finally broke his silent treatment. “So you admit I’m right?”
“Yes Renjun, you’re right.” You rolled your eyes.
“And I’m your favourite brother.”
“You’re my only brother but yes, by default that makes you my favourite.”
“I’ll try not to butt into your life too much anymore.” He said seriously.
“It’s not that I don’t want you to but it’s kind of embarrassing to have my younger brother standing up for me all of the time.” You explain, “But I am grateful that you do.”
Summary: in which Doyoung is caught up in a superstition but thinks don't go to plan
A/N: inspired by Last Night For A Table of Two by Mayday Parade
They say that whoever you're with on New Years Eve when the clock hits midnight is who you'll spend the rest of your year with. Did she believe that? Yes and no but leaning towards no. Her hopeless romantic of a boyfriend, however, had that myth ingrained into his mind and he was determined to make sure this one didn't slip away.
"Are you sure you don't want to come to the party?" Johnny nudged Doyoung. Admittedly, Johnny was fully aware of the habits of his friend's girlfriend. He was just hoping that Doyoung would give it up to save himself some pain.
"I have this whole night planned out and I'm sorry but your party isn't part of the plan." Doyoung rolled his eyes as he chose his outfit for tonight. He was starting to get irritated with his friends. They were always trying to get him to break up with his girlfriend and generally painting a negative picture of her.
"Well, invite still stands if things change." Johnny patted Doyoung's shoulder sympathetically.
"Whatever." Doyoung grumbled.
He was fully aware of his girlfriend's persona. She was a free spirit, an artist, wind blowing through your hair. As comforting as she felt, she faded quickly. Despite the opinions and warnings, he loved her. And if there was one superstition he believed in, it was the one about New Years Eve. And maybe this year, it will work… it has to.
They had first met at a photoshoot. He was the model and she was the photographer. Doyoung had a firm rule of never forming relationships with people he worked with but something forced him to make an exception for her. It was better his intention to fall for her and it definitely wasn't his intention to fall this hard. His friends all tried to warn him but he insisted that they didn't know her like he does.
For a year and a half, he was on a rollercoaster with his love. She traveled often and usually spontaneously so it wasn't rare for her to forget about a prior engagement with Doyoung in favour of a trip. It wasn't that she didn't care about him, in fact she cared very much about him, but she just knew that she was on the verge of a breakthrough with her career. She knew that one shot could change it all so she wanted to take every opportunity to try and get that.
"You're flying again? What is this? The 3rd time this month?" Her best friend, Mark, yelled at her through the phone. It was him that set up the penultimate photoshoot. He was close to Doyoung as well as he had hands in both baskets of this relationship. He knew what Doyoung was planning but he also knew that his best friend had a feeling as well. Quite frankly, she was scared.
"I really need to go on this shoot, Mark."
"You say that every time. How long are you going to keep running from him?" Mark sighed.
"I'm not running! I need this, Mark."
"Keep telling yourself that. But I know you and this is what you always do whenever something good happens to you." Mark said sternly.
"I- I don't!" She struggled to find an argument.
"Whatever man, good luck." Mark ended the call.
Doyoung checked his watch as he waited, seated at a table for two located in an intimate corner of a restaurant overlooking the city. 10 minutes late… he thought to himself while scrolling through his social media feed. All of his friends were at the same party so of course, they were all posting about it everywhere. They were all together but here he was, alone.
Did he ever consider breaking up with her? All of the time but part of him always held onto the hope that she will be ready to settle down soon. He just had to keep trying but when was it time to give up?
"Can I get you some more water, sir?" The server came to check on Doyoung. Anyone could understand his situation so the server was extremely tentative, careful not to strike the wrong nerve.
"I'm alright." He said blankly, trying not to show them the anger building inside him.
45 minutes he thought to himself.
[8:15 PM] Johnny: how's it going?
[8:27 PM] Doyoung: shut up
[8:29 PM] Johnny: shit… party just started man. Come.
He slammed his phone on the table. He told himself that once an hour passed, he would leave. He would be done trying, done putting himself through this torture. Despite this declaration, he secretly hoped that it wouldn't come to that. Even though it was essentially him initiating the break up, it somehow felt like he was breaking up with himself. It was a pill that he couldn't swallow.
He gave her more than an hour. The hope was still present but it was time to cut himself loose. He threw a $100 bill onto the table before finishing off his wine and leaving. The server smiled at him sympathetically while Doyoung simply nodded, unable to feign any sort of a smile back their way.
"Hey Johnny, I'm on my way." He loosened his tie as he got into a taxi.
"I'm sorry man."
"It's whatever. Just have a few shots lined up for me." He sighed.
"No worries. See you in a bit."
Doyoung went to put his phone back into his pocket when he felt it buzzing in his hand again.
"Hello?" He said coldly.
"Hi babe, I'm here, where are you?" Her voice crept into his ear.
"I waited over an hour for you…" It took every ounce of himself to not ask the taxi driver to turn around and bring him back to the restaurant.
"I'm sorry." She whispered.
"Me too. But I think you're better off when you're on your own."
"Doyoung, I'm sorry…" A kind of desperation fell into her voice.
"I'm done. I'm done waiting. I'm done torturing myself for someone who doesn't love me back in the right way." Doyoung sighed while pinching the bridge of his nose. "Goodbye."
The line went quiet and she was left alone again.
After considering what Mark said to her, she went home to get changed and ready for the night but alas, it was too late.
CW: just pure fluff, really. As fluffy and as soft as snow but not as cold. Idol! Mark Lee x reader. Johnny's there too but just as support.
WC: 3.3K
Summary: in which you're alone for Christmas and Mark tries to give you a gift to make you feel less sad.
A/N: Merry Christmas, everyone. Happy holidays if you don't celebrate Christmas. I hope you're all happy, healthy and safe. I'll also be taking a break from TBTC next week and posting something for New year's ✌️
Long distance relationships were hard but they had their good sides as well as bad. One good thing is that you had a lot of time for yourself but on the bad side, you often felt lonely whenever you're out and see people with their significant others. You never really had to spend money on dates but conversely, you never had a chance to go out and show off your boyfriend in public. The time difference often made it hard for you to talk but neither of you ever missed out on your calls.
Mark would call you first thing in the morning when you woke up. It would be midnight to him but luckily, he was a night owl and didn't mind keeping you company while you got ready for your day. Then, you would go about your day before calling him at 5pm, 9am his time, to do the same for him. He often spent his mornings at home before heading to the studio for practice or to write so it was ample time to catch up and just talk about random things. He liked to watch you cook and he often would watch something in Netflix with you. Sometimes you were lucky enough to have him talk you to sleep, or sing you a song he's been working on to send you off into your dream world.
It sounds perfect in a way. You're both able to focus on your lives during the day because the other is safely asleep but you craved the physical aspects. You wanted to be held, you wanted to hold his hand, hell you just wanted to eat a meal with him sitting across from you at the table instead of on a little screen.
The past year and a half has been spent like this. You were childhood friends, growing up together before he moved overseas. You often spent recess running around together and sharing snacks. He wasn't necessarily your best friend, but he was one of the few friends you had growing up and even to this day. It's not that you weren't social but you just preferred being by yourself a lot. You kept in touch with the few friends you did have and that was all you really needed.
It was a surprise to run into him given the circumstances on both ends. He was an incredibly talented and relatively famous Idol in another country; and you moved across the country for school but ended up staying there after landing a good job. You were aware that he would be performing with his group but it wasn't your scene. And you couldn't get tickets anyway since they sold out almost instantly.
Out on your lunch break, you were grabbing a midday iced coffee. But you were trying to juggle setting up meetings and calls with a few important people so you weren't really paying attention when you went to grab the coffee, thinking it was yours.
"Oh I'm sorry." Both you and the owner of that drink said.
Finally, you looked up from your phone at the man and for some reason, you had a feeling of familiarity with him. After squinting your eyes and trying to go through your roledex of people you've encountered in your life, your brain finally figured it out. "Mark?" You say with bewilderment.
"Oh my god! It is you!" He pulled you into an extremely tight hug. "I saw you but I couldn't really tell and I didn't want to go up to a random stranger." He laughed and you couldn't help but do the same. Mark always had that effect on people, he would laugh or smile and no matter who he was with, they would do the same.
"What are you doing here?" You ask, somehow completely forgetting that he was due to perform the next day, which he reminded you of. "Oh! That's really exciting." If you were honest, you were distracted by how he's grown up. He used to be this cute boy that you would trade your fruit snacks for cookies with. But now he was incredibly handsome but still had those captivating eyes that could make you melt.
"This is amazing, I can't believe we ran into each other like this." He pulled you into another hug that brought a blush across your face. You were in a daze as he introduced you to the 2 other guys with him but you didn't really catch their names. You just noticed that they were also incredibly handsome. "But hey, if you're free tonight, we should catch up!" You agreed, thankfully.
And you could say the rest was history but beyond that one fateful day/night, you haven't seen Mark. A full year and a half later, you were entering your second Christmas without him but unfortunately, you weren't able to go home to your family to distract yourself from the boy you wanted to be with during the holidays. Not usually the type to be into overly romantic gestures, you uncharacteristically were craving the experiences that couples usually had in the movies. Your sisters told you countless times to stop watching Hallmark Christmas movies but you really couldn't help it when there was nothing else to watch on TV.
December 23rd. You were staring at your miniature Christmas tree that you had bought for your small apartment. The rest of your apartment was fully decorated in an effort to fill the emptiness you felt but it didn't seem to help much beyond wishing that Mark were there to experience it with you.
It was a perfect Christmas, the snow was falling outside and you reminisced about that rare snow day you had in your West coast town. That day was incredible. It was Christmas Eve and the whole city shut down due to the influx of white that they rarely had to deal with. Mark had banged on your door and begged your parents to let you go out and play despite it being Christmas Eve. That day was spent building snowmen, having snowball fights and everything before everyone went home and passed out to wake up to a white Christmas.
Mark had expressed to you that he missed that the most. Those snow days where everything shut down and you could just go out and be free to run around and have fun. You wished to be able to send some snow to him. But instead, you called him.
"Hi baby, how are you?" He said in a gravely voice as he had just woken up.
"I'm okay, just miss you a lot." You pouted and he copied your expression. "But look!" You showed him the view outside your window, including the snow capped trees and pillows of white on any surface it could cling on.
"Oh my god, that's beautiful." He sighed. "I wish I could be there to see it with you. I hate that you're alone this year for Christmas."
"It's okay." You flash a weak smile. "My coworker is going to drop off some food for me from her parents. I'll just have a Harry Potter marathon."
"Okay. I'll join you for that." He smiles. "My present for you should be showing up soon. I hope it gets there before the 25th."
"Hard to say. Doesn't matter if it does or not, I'm just happy to get something from you." You ease him of his worries. He often got worked up over the smallest things and you found it cute the way he would furrow his eyebrows in frustration only to breathe a sigh of relief when you told him to do so. You were his comfort and he was yours. Even if you were thousands of miles apart.
"I have to get going, love. I'll talk to you later okay?" He says and you are confused as he usually never has nice to do before noon. But you shrugged it off and assumed he just had some year end things to work on.
"Yeah I'll talk to you later. I love you." You blew him a kiss and he did the same before hanging up.
To be honest with yourself, you were starting to hate saying goodbye. Your heart would feel so heavy whenever a call ended and recently, that feeling got worse and worse with every call. Things were starting to feel like they were all for nothing. You trusted Mark and knew him well enough to know you were the only one that would be on his mind but that physical aspect was something you were craving. The simplest things like just being in the same room while you were both quietly working on your own things, exchanging loving glances every so often.
You dozed off watching The Nightmare Before Christmas and was woken up on Christmas Eve by the blinding white of the snow capped exteriors. Confused, you searched for your phone to check the time: 9:27. Mark has never failed to call you at 8AM every single day. It was your routine. It was your ritual. You send him a message but his phone doesn't even receive it. Is his phone off? You ask yourself. He did sound a bit off yesterday… Or was he just tired and groggy? Maybe he's having a late night in the studio. He said he didn't have anything scheduled for a few days though. In an effort to mitigate your panic, you throw your phone to the other side of your bed.
Forcing yourself to roll out of bed and make some coffee to try to dull some of the panic you were feeling. He wouldn't just ice me out on Christmas Eve. He's probably just tired and fell asleep before he could call, you convinced yourself.
It was nearing lunch time and you still didn't hear from your boyfriend. You had spent the morning curled up on the couch watching Disney Channel Original Christmas Movies, trying to distract yourself but every time something romantic happened, you sighed and wished for Mark. His phone still wasn't receiving your messages. Had his phone died?
In desperation, you text the only other person you knew who was close with him: Johnny. You had met Johnny that day that you ran into Mark but never processed it until you began watching their performances on YouTube. Mark had given you Johnny's number so you could apologize for ignoring him but you would occasionally ask him for favours. Usually asking him to get something for Mark from you. He often said, "I only do this because I love Mark and you love Mark."
You [11:34AM]: Hey Johnny? Are you awake?
You [11:34AM]: Merry Christmas, by the way!
It was almost 4AM so you would be surprised if he was still awake but he often stayed up late with Haechan so you figured it was worth a shot.
Johnny [11:39AM]: what's up?
Johnny [11:38AM]: Merry Christmas to you too :)
You [11:40AM]: is Mark okay? I haven't heard from him since last night. I'm getting worried.
You watched as Johnny's message bubble appeared and disappeared a few times. He was hesitating…
Johnny [11:42AM]: he's fine. You'll probably hear from him soon ;)
You [11:42AM]: ?? What's that supposed to mean?
Johnny simply replied with a shrug emoji and you wished you could send a punch through a text message. But you sighed and continued sipping on your hot apple cider as you pressed play on another movie. Johnny doesn't lie so I'll believe him for now.
You had somehow fallen asleep and you only realized when you felt your phone buzzing next to you. Without even checking the caller ID, you press the green answer button and put it on speaker as you tried to pull yourself out of the afternoon nap haze.
"Hello?" You say, barely above a whisper.
"Hey baby, sorry I've missed your messages. Johnny said you were worried about me?" Mark's voice shook you awake. You scrambled to sit up before picking up your phone and taking it off speaker to hear him more clearly.
"Mark? Are you okay?"
He simply laughed, "I'm okay babe. I'm sorry for worrying you." He apologized again.
"No, it's okay. I was just worrying over nothing. What were you doing?"
"I was at the airport." He said and you could tell there was something up by the tone of his voice. Mark could never lie to you even if he tried.
"And?"
"And I need you to come pick me up." He teased and you became even more confused which made you a bit upset as you didn't like being led on.
"Mark I can't, you're in another country." You roll your eyes even though he can't see.
"Baby, I'm not. I'm here." And it finally clicked in your head.
"Wait! You're here? Like here? Like in the same city?" You try not to scream.
"Yes, exactly. I wanted to surprise you better but the snow delayed things…"
"It's okay I'll come now!" You practically yell into the phone.
"Drive carefully!" He warned you before hanging up.
Like a tornado, you tried to clean up your apartment so your boyfriend didn't think you were a complete slob. At the same time, you were trying to pick out a cute outfit and do your hair in an effort to make yourself look somewhat presentable.
With your best effort, you shrugged when you checked yourself in the mirror before pulling on your parka and heading out the door. As your car warmed up, you reminded yourself that Mark had seen you at your literal worst. From the late night mental breakdowns to a hungover morning from having a few too many drinks with your coworkers, Mark had seen it all and always assured you that you looked amazing. Maybe he was lying a few times during those moments but he never made you feel like you were anything less than perfect for him.
You did your best to drive calmly to the airport. There wasn't much of a choice as the other cars on the road were also trying to get to their destinations safely so traffic was moving at a slower pace. After what seemed like the longest car ride you've ever taken, you pulled into a parking stall at the airport and checked your phone to see that Mark had sent you the gate he was at, waiting for his luggage. You practically sprinted across the parking lot and road, having a few close calls with other pedestrians and a few cars. But you couldn't help yourself. You were finally getting to see him.
Arriving at his gate, you tried to catch your breath as you scanned the crowd around the baggage carousel looking for Mark. When the two of you finally made eye contact, you burst through the crowd and jumped into his arms. You thought you would tackle him down but he was surprisingly strong and not only caught you but picked you up, allowing your legs to wrap around him like a koala baby. People aw'd and some even clapped while others pulled out their phones to candidly capture your reunion.
"You're here." You choked back tears, breathing in his scent and making sure you locked it up in your memory for future use.
"I'm here." He breathed into your ear which triggered the tears to start falling. He placed you back on your feet but steadied you in the warmth and safety of his arms. He chuckled while he wiped your tears away, "why are you crying?"
"I don't know, I just missed you so much." You sniffled while looking up at him with wet eyes. It's been so long that you had forgotten that he was taller than you by more than a few centimeters. So when he leaned down to kiss you, you were surprised but also extremely comforted as a wave of warmth filled up the emptiness in your heart.
"My little crybaby." He placed another kiss on your forehead.
You clung on to each other until his suitcase dropped down from the chute. Hand-in-hand, you led him to your car. Amazingly, you navigated the whole way there while beaming up at Mark the whole time. He reciprocated but occasionally pulled you to the side to avoid running into someone else.
The car ride back to your apartment was just full of you two talking about anything and everything. From when he planned all of this and how he managed to get out of his activities to Johnny almost ruining the surprise when he struggled to say something that would both ease your worries but not let you in on the secret. The whole time, Mark's hand was on your thigh as you needed both hands to properly manoeuvre your car through the snow. You sometimes caught Mark looking outside with pure wonder and amazement as he took in the image of the city blanketed by the snow. The smile on your face never left as you tried to process every moment with him to keep in your memories.
"So how long are you staying?" You say as you take the elevator up to your apartment. His arm was wrapped around your shoulders and you had a feeling that your boyfriend who was usually uncomfortable with physical attraction, wouldn't keep a hand off of you the whole time he was there.
"I have to leave the day after Christmas." He says quietly.
Trying not to be upset by the short time together, you reminded yourself that it was better than nothing. "We'll make it work." You say simply to him while learning up to plant a kiss on his cheek.
Mark felt overwhelmed by your apartment. The moment he stepped in, he was greeted by the sweet scent of vanilla and oranges. He tried to take as many mental notes as he could while walking around and taking in every single detail of your place. This was your home and he felt like every little knick-knack strategically placed by you was a piece of you.
"Here." You handed him a cup of apple cider to warm up.
"Thank you." He added a kiss to your temple. Suddenly remembering something, he let out a little gasp before placing his cup down on the coffee table and going to his backpack. He pulled out a box wrapped in red paper and a golden bow that was slightly flattened from its journey to the other side of the world to you.
"What's this?" You ask when he places it in your hands, taking a seat next to you.
"Just open it." He smiles. The excitement was practically bursting from him as he anticipated you opening the box.
"Your gift is probably on the doorstep of your mom's place right now." You sighed.
"It's okay baby, I can't wait to open it but just open yours now." He said.
The lid lifted to reveal a necklace with a delicate golden chain and a little purple gem dangling from it. "Mark…" you coo, your eyes welling up with tears again.
"Are you going to cry again?" He laughs and you playfully poke his side. "I know purple is your favourite colour… It's not much but I thought you'd like it." He said softly while he fixed it around your neck. You smiled up at him before you situated yourself in his lap, straddling his thighs.
"It's perfect." You kiss him, "what else did you get me?" You pull back when he tries to deepen the kiss.
"What do you mean?" He stared blankly at you.
"You said it's not much so where's the rest of my present?" You say mischievously.
"You said it's perfect but you want more?" He cocks an eyebrow up.
"Well… I haven't seen you in a year and a half, there has to be more." You tease.
"I'm your present aren't I?" He smirks, grabbing the bow from the box and sticking it onto his head.
"I guess…" you laugh while leaning in to kiss him again. "You're lucky you're cute." You say as he stands up, making sure to wrap your legs around him before turning towards your bedroom.
