There are lots of fake entps out there, so I have compiled random notes about the few/actually many statistically that I know/handle on a regular basis. Some of this may apply to other tps, but I’m writing specifically here. Featuring gifs of people I’m pretty sure are entps, but might change my mind knowing me aha.
Childlike, but this can be in a good way. Entps aren’t meant to grow up in the same way as an Sj, they’re always gonna a be a little bit like a small kid. ♥
In a relationship, entps can seem very chill and charming at first. But they can also have avoidant tenancies and fear of low Fe. They’re a little insecure before peak Fe development, so they might try to make you jealous if they feel threatened. Who threatens an entp? Only people you like or respect that they feel are better than them. Entps don’t like being trumped, their Ti can be a little immature this way 😋
Entps respect independence and intelligence, and they really like intuitives. They like debating everything and throwing around dumb ideas for the fun of it when they’re relaxed.
Can be very quiet and intraverted when not comfortable, or just when a little stressed or tired. Can be mistaken for an fj or fp when well developed, especially an enfj or enfp.
Entps always have a reason for what they’re doing or saying, even if it’s a ‘dumb’ one. So if your entp says they don’t know why they’re doing something, don’t buy it. They have a secret agenda. 😉
Entps can be accidentally callous or even deliberately mean, but they’re also really paranoid about upsetting people. They can be easily pushed around if they feel low Fe guilt.
^surprisingly, this is when an *nfj can step in and say 'um… No? Don’t let them guilt trip you!’
Happy, outgoing, cheeky, kids who wanna work out how everything works and how they can do it all themselves. Have some spectacularly dumb ideas, but they’re so little it’s all cool.
^this Ti development is what *nfjs go through in later teens, when they actually have to suffer and sound spectacularly dumb cos they’re not a kid. So entps are a natural help here, and they’re not too mean cos they remember when they used to be dumb too.
Summary of Depressed/Looping/Immature Entps:
When they’re rejecting their childlike nature, they can be childlike in a really bad, immature emotional way.
When they’re depressed they can be boring, withdrawn, paranoid, and irrational. They can become convinced everyone hates them and only see the negative.
They can use immature Fe to manipulate people. They might use their Fi Trickster function to convince you they’re the victim when they’re not.
They’re very sensitive to society and gender roles and stuff, and want to fit in very badly (low Fe I guess). But they also want to be feared and admired for their cunning, so they can be really mean, even on purpose, only to be really upset when people hate them for it. And if you don’t hate them for it and are kind in spite of it, they’ll cry.
Overly secretive, then gets upset when people don’t know who they really are.
^ would just like to add that, interestingly, this is ALL the same rubbish *nfjs have gone through when younger, so they’re defs natural friends. *nfjs basically demonstrate to *ntps that Fe is there to help you care for people, not care about how they see you (though obvs it does both). It’s also not there to charm people into doing what you want so that you never have to put in the effort of actually growing a friendship 😂
Also, over emotional, dramatic, and unstable, like any immature person.
Obsessed with body image, a lot of them seem to have eating disorders. Also want to be smart, but very conscious of society’s expectations about their looks in particular. Not comfortable with who they are, would like to be an Fj or a Tj. Want to be kind and caring, but also cut throat and ruler of everything.
Obsessed with being seen as intelligent and basically as tj as possible. Wants to be cut throat but can’t pull it off emotionally or strategically - frustrated when people get the better of them. Very upset when people dislike them because of their nastiness. Unable to accept intellectual failure, so struggles to learn from mistakes.
Points on How to Handle Them:
Entps who are immature cannot be helped. They must help themselves. Your only goal here is to not get used or hurt by their poor Fe.
Be mean. Not actually mean, tough love mean. Entps benefit from Te or te look alikes like low Ti.
Be kind. That’s the main one. Truly hurt entps withdraw. They go all quiet and their eyes go big, or maybe they tense their jaw and try to look mad. In that situation you should be kind over tough love, cos you don’t want them to go into their paranoid 'everyone hates me’ loop.
The easy way to tell whether their sudden tears are real? How easily they can stop when you say 'stop it, that’s fake’ or even 'I believe you’. Crying entps are very upset and will not be able to just STOP crying. (You could also try tasting the tears, cos sad ones are salty and fake ones aren’t, but that might be weird). As well as that, entps truly crying are generally on low Si and will moan about how they’re going to fail and they’ve ruined their lives, whereas fake crying entps will moan about how they’ve upset you or other random things they think may shut you up.
See intent. Don’t listen to what the entp is actually saying, hear what they mean. It will save you a lot of time being offended 😂
Explain yourself. Entps on the internet have a reputation as being emotionally callous, but they’re not if you can explain it. 'When you do this, I feel this way because’ was a formula invented for our Tp friends, and it will usually soften an entp (I’m sure there are bad exceptions!).
Stay calm. Don’t expect your entp to be a j - it will kill you all. Your entp will probably improve over time, but don’t plan on it.
Be honest. Really, don’t bother keeping any secrets from your entp. They’ll just invent a terrible, paranoid narrative or completely not notice. Their low Fe will assume everything is fine, and when you finally break it to them they’ve been upsetting you the whole time, their little tp hearts will break 💔
Discuss your expectations. Expect to negotiate your expectations.
Tell them when they’re arguing and refuse to engage as much as possible. Debate and fruitful discussion only.
Copy your entp. If your entp gets overly aggressive or upset all of a sudden, match their reaction with your own. They’ll usually realise how completely irrational it is. (For example, if entp says 'WHY DID YOU WARM UP MY FOOD, I LIKE IT COLD?!’ be like 'OH MY GOODNESS I’M SO SORRY, I CAN’T BELIEVE I DID THAT, HOW COULD I NOT HAVE REMEMBERED, OUR LIVES ARE OVER’. They’ll usually laugh with you at that point
Don’t be nasty. If you can’t do the above things from a kind place, don’t do them. Entps aren’t always emotionally clued up, but they can be very sensitive to negative intentions.
Randomly ask them what they’re keeping from you. If they instantly look away (even if they frown, smile, whatever) they’re probably keeping something… Entps actively keeping secrets generally isn’t healthy. Entps have Ti, so they might forget to mention stuff. But if they purposely hold stuff back, it’s usually bad. They’ll probs try to justify keeping it to themselves and construct a paranoid narrative about you, so don’t let them drift too far if you can.
Don’t take it personally. High maintenance required for immature/depressed/looping entps. Like walking on eggshells and pulling chicken’s teeth all at once.
Enjoy their strange affection. Functioning entps are very warm and caring, even if it is in slightly strange ways.
Expect the unexpected. No, not in a romantic way. Entps are romantic, but they’re given too much credit for actually doing stuff about it. Unexpect the expected. Entps don’t want to do anything just cos it’s expected, so tell them explicitly if you want something… And then don’t expect them to remember. Just in case.
Talk about everything. Don’t ridicule any idea, just discuss it and the entp will realise how unrealistic it is if it is. They probs just having fun anyway.
Lead the way. Entps want deep friendships, but they don’t often know how to get there - or they just don’t bother getting there. Just do your thing, they’ll probably follow. Entps can be flighty and hard to pin down, but they’ll probably tell you straight up if they don’t like you or want to hang out.
Ditch them once in a while. Entps respect independence and will quickly get bored if you just cling. But don’t ditch them too much, cos they’re also insecure and jealous when pushed (who isn’t?).
Don’t pat their ego. Your entp isn’t always going to be the smartest/prettiest/best in general person in the room, so don’t reassure them that they are. Reassure them that they’re your choice and you love them, but don’t indulge their fantasies.
