Life With Tay

My dad "Tay" and I plan to chronicle our adventures this year - and capture our thoughts - and get to know each other. I am a technical producer and I travel for work; he's retired, so he goes with me; and we're both pretty wild.

[tatay4life]

If you run after money, then money will always run away from you.

Felipe Cruz

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“Look Tay!   👀 You’re trending!!!!”

Thank you to all those who have supported.  Whether by making a contribution or sharing the page - you’re helping my dad go viral... in a good way. 😉

[tatay4life]

Obituary for Mr. Felipe DeCastro Cruz Jr.

Memorial Service for Felipe Cruz Jr.

Saturday, Jan 21, 2017 01:00 PM - 05:00 PM

Valente Marini Perata & Co. 4840 Mission St. San Francisco, CA, US

[tatay4life]

Windows

Guess what?  I washed Dean’s car today… well I started to.  His windows are immaculate!

While I was cleaning them, I remembered you being amazed by my window cleaning technique.  But more than that, I remembered so many of the times you washed my car.  During shows or meetings, you’d wait in the car - and I’d come out to a clean car.  How you did it, with only an old t-shirt and a water bottle...I will never know.  I even caught you on your knees the week before you died, cleaning my rims with a toothbrush.  I really hope that wasn’t my toothbrush.  I’ll finish washing his car next weekend dad, I promise.  And I’ll share with him some of our adventures while I do it.  I’ll also give him the same lecture you gave me when I got my first car.  I still remember it so clearly.

“Make sure the inside is clean.  You don’t have to worry about the outside of the car as much.  But...if the inside of your car is a mess, then that’s the condition of your head.  That’s what people will think of you.  Never leave your car messy.  Outside, okay.  Inside, never.”

Funny the things we remember when so much we forget, right dad?  Oh wait, you forgot most everything.  You would forget what you were talking about in the middle of a sentence.  No worries dad.  Not making fun of you.  We know it was from your accident in ’75.  You couldn’t remember what you had for breakfast, but you never forgot our birthdays, or anniversaries, or what time to pick up the kids from school, or when to take out the garbage.  How could you forget.  You obsessed over every detail of our lives.  Maybe that’s the reason your memory was so clumsy.  It hadn’t failed you.  You just had every memory devoted to our needs, rather than your own.

“You know another lesson I taught Dean?  “Plan which lane you need for your exit.  Do it as far out as possible so you don’t have to make last minute lane changes”

I remember the day you taught me that too.  You told me Grandpa was the best example of planning his exit off a freeway (sometimes to your frustration).  But I told Dean what you told me and told him that you taught me that lesson, and asked him to remember to teach his kids the same (unless all cards are driverless by then).  You would be proud of Dean’s driving dad.  He drives just like Grandpa (mine Grandpa of course, not you - you drove like a maniac 😂).

Watch out for your grandkids on the road, okay dad?

I love you…

I miss you.

[tatay4life]

My dad and I estimate that we made the trip between Santa Cruz and San Diego at least 100 times. Ever time was a new adventure.

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As they say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. In case you don't know what a tabo is, I'd say...best to look it up in Google under "tabo Tagalog."

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After 18 months of traveling back and forth across the state, Tay and I finally moved back north. We didn't make it all the way back to the Bay, but Santa Cruz was close enough. He often said he was fine even if we moved to Gilroy or Sacramento. Anywhere was closer than San Diego. And although he wasn't fond of water, even he couldn't resist the romance of living in the Santa Cruz Harbor. He really loved it there. He often just gazed out over the boats in the harbor and we fantasizes about buying a boat and floating down the coast. I wish we had done that - even if only once.

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I am grateful for the hundreds of little talks, just like this one. I never really appreciated the way he followed me around, picking up the pieces of my life and making sure I was whole. I'm glad I listened.

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This is quite possibly the only known, no-assistance selfie taken by Tay.  Scary to think about why he took it. 😂

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Don't worry Janet.  Take your time.  Dad's just chillin ❄️

Brandon Cruz, oldest son

Janet was on her way to the hospital in bad weather.  Dad had passed already, so Brandon wanted to calm and reassure her, and encourage her to drive safe and not fret.  Trying to make light of an emotional conversation, he ended the conversation with a witty retort to make her smile.  Dad always appreciated his indelicate sense of humor.

[tatay4life]

Support the Felipe Cruz Memorial Fund

Please do not feel obligated to help, but if you are compelled to support his children with the cost of the memorial celebration, please click the link above to make your dontion, or copy and paste into your browser the following link: https://www.gofundme.com/tatay4life.

Although we appreciate the sentiment, we ask that you do not send flowers or gifts to the family.  Please do not feel obligated to help, but if you are compelled to support his children with the cost of the memorial celebration, please remit your contribution to https://www.gofundme.com/tatay4life.  Your thoughtful gift shall be used to help pay for the viewing, memorial service, cremation and cost associated with fulfilling his final wishes.  Any portion remaining shall be divided equally among his grandchildren - which is what we know Grandpa would have wanted.  We are grateful for your love and support.  Thank you!

The Cruz Family

[tatay4life]

Tatay4Life...

It's with a sad and injured heart that I tell you, my father passed this morning of massive heart failure. I'm still in shock. I can barely move. I haven't even told my children yet. Frankly, I don't know how. I haven't the words to tell them that their grandpa, my best friend and mentor; and my source for wisdom and example of humility - the man that taught me how to be a father - is gone.

My deepest gratitude to my wife Jennifer, who took care of him to the end. While I fought to make my way back home from a business trip in Oregon, Jennifer brought him to the hospital - complaining of shortness of breath and dizziness. They drove to the hospital, making jokes and teasing each other - as the often did.

Once there, he proudly walked into the ER, still making jokes, flirting with staff and being his normal, cheerful and charming self. But we soon realized, he'd already suffered a serious heart attack, probably earlier that day, without telling us. He likely shook it off and went about his normal routine of tinkering about with his hobbies.

When doctors discovered the catastrophic heart failure and tried to treat him, it set off a chain reaction of other failures. At 5:00am, Felipe Cruz succumbed to the critical damage to his swollen heart. Sadly, when we returned home, we learn now that he likely knew he was dying. He had crafted a simple note for us to find, probably in case he were to perish at home, while we were out.

It simply said, "I am sick. I need you to come get me." We believe he's known he's been sick for some time, but he hid it well.

Alas, as we'd be expect, he fought to the end. Doctors tending to him in the ICU restarted his heart 3 times, even got him breathing, while we watched somberly. I know he was waiting for his beloved daughters, but he took solace knowing they were coming. From his smile, you knew, he didn't doubt it. They were already there in his heart. My sisters can take solace in knowing he was smiling. He was happy. He was not afraid. I believe he felt reassured that he gave them their opportunity to say goodbye this Christmas by getting us together for one last family portrait. He called it "his goal." He knew it was his last time with all of us together. Thank you Jennifer for making it special.

Yes, he was joyful and full of love in the end. I'll never forget his last words, True to his character, they were to his pretty, young doctor. As he flirted and coerced, he asked, "Doctor, when you fix my heart, does that mean I will be able to fall in love again."

His doctors say his swollen heart was among the things that killed him.

But I say, if you knew him you'd know, his heart was only so swollen because he was so loved, so very much, by so very many - and his love for us, his family, was just as boundless.

We commit you to God. Go be with our mom and our youngest brother now. It's Nicholas's turn to know our parent's love.

We love you Tay!

BLOG: http://Tatay4Life.tumblr.com VIDEO: https://youtu.be/Oz2KsssxQQE

NO FLOWERS OR GIFTS Although we appreciate the sentiment, we ask that you do not send flowers or gifts. He didn't like that stuff.

DONATIONS WELCOME If would like to help our family with the unexpected memorial expenses and final medical bills, your contributions are greatly appreciated. You may make contributions to: https://www.gofundme.com/tatay4life

[tatay4life]

"Doctor, if you fix my heart, does that mean I will be able to fall in love again."

Felipe Cruz, his final words.

said to one of the young, pretty doctors attending him.  He had been innocently flirting with his child-like charm and trying to convince her to be his full time doctor.

Tay was joyful and full of love, right to the very end.  He’ll forever be known for his last words before he slipped into his final goodnight.  But that is the funny irony.  There was nothing with his heart for people.  He was full of love.

[tatay4life]

Merry Christmas!!!

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Pause for the occasional selfie.

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Glitter Tay

Me: Dad, what happened to you?

Dad: What? What do you mean?

Me: You're face, it's covered in glitter. OMG, it's everywhere. What did you do???

Dad: (as he snickers and turns to walk away) MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Me: 8-O

[tatay4life]

We had to get the crew up at 5am this morning to be at a 7am load-in for Dwele. When soundcheck is over at 1pm, #naptime. Unfortunately it looks like the only place private is under the stage or behind the diesel generator. #tourlife #musicindustry #juneteenth #fortheloveofmusic