This is Tatertot, an NSFW Transformers side-blog with the supreme goal of keeping my main clean. While I'm really not the best person to write romantic relationships other than f/m, I will write such stuff as:
Rape
Specific kinks
And so much angst
If you've got any valveplug headcanons, send them to me! I'll give my thoughts on them, and if you're lucky, maybe even write a tiny drabble! I hope you guys enjoy my freakshow :D
It's so funny how a big corporation refusing to put girl robots in their show resulted in the fandom declaring the entire species as hermaphrodites. We literally headcannoned transformers an entire reproductive system and the terminology surrounding it just so that we could make proper robot smut. HA
If Shockwave ever got sparked, nobody would notice, not even himself. He's too chunky to have a baby bump, and all possible mood swings are nullified before they even begin. He'd rationalize cravings as illogical impulses and never act on them. Morning sickness might be the only way tell before emergence, but even then, he's extremely good at hiding/ignoring any and all discomfort.
I'm imagining the Autobots kidnapping Shockwave for information, when suddenly he goes into emergence in the middle of the interrogation. After a massive freak out, rushing him to Ratchet, and one heck of a conversation, they all realize that the first corse of action should be to figure out who in the world this bittie belongs to because Shockwave sure as hell doesn't remember getting spiked.
(Points at Grimlock) You got raped, (Points at Megatron) You got raped, (Points at Tarantulas) You're raping vehicons, (Points at Swoop) You're whoring yourself out, (Points at Splendid Convoy and Tarn) I have no idea what you two are doing but it definitely isn't healthy, (Points at Octane) And you're just the deadly sin of lust.
Grimlock: Was kidnapped and forced to fight in an illegal gladiator ring, the guards of which liked to "play" with Grimlock whenever he didn't preform as well as they wanted. Now the poor t-rex is addicted to showers and has panic attacks whenever you touch his tail.
Megatron: Was a blaster minicon with an extremely abusive partner, eventually he ran off and got himself a larger body to hide his small frame. Soundwave is a result of the abuse. You can guess how much Megatron likes him.
Tarantulas: Because transformers generally don't see vehicons as living beings, Tarantulas likes to swipe one or two from time to time just to indulge in some egg-laying. The reveal that they are alive is not going to go well.
Swoop: Super stressed out for a multitude of reasons, including her brother getting kidnapped and raped and trying to understand the artifacts of eldritch beings. She goes to a pub to get her brains fragged out and stop thinking for a while.
Tarn: Gets off being tortured/in pain, specifically electrocution. Purposefully gets kidnapped just to end up in SC's interrogation chamber.
Splendid Convoy: Gets pent up but denies herself overload because she "Doesn't Deserve Pleasure". Tortures Tarn to express her anger issues.
Octane: Has fragged millions; is the origin point of an entire species.
Longarm seems like the type who has defitnely roofied some of his coworkers before and has gotten away with it SEVERAL times, tho in this pool I actually wouldn’t include Blurr due to the way his frame processes substances and fuel way too quickly. Notable figures Longarm has gotten though would be Cliffjumper, Sentinel, and Ironhide. He’s also been itching to get his servos on Perceptor and Wheeljack but Perceptor’s removal of his emotional core means that setting up a scenario where he could Perceptor alone and get him to drink something without immediately noticing discrepancies is nigh impossible. Still, the fancy lingers in his processor everytime he sees the other bot…
If Longarm could figure out a way to get Perceptor drunk enough to frag, he's basically found out how to get most other versions of himself in the multiverse because Perceptor is basically just Shockwave without actually being Shockwave lol.
(Points at Grimlock) You got raped, (Points at Megatron) You got raped, (Points at Tarantulas) You're raping vehicons, (Points at Swoop) You're whoring yourself out, (Points at Splendid Convoy and Tarn) I have no idea what you two are doing but it definitely isn't healthy, (Points at Octane) And you're just the deadly sin of lust.
You know, I've been thinking about a scenario where the vehicons get most of the decepticons extremely drunk during a party so that they can gangbang the higher ups without them remembering. Individual cons below:
Megatron: Since he's usually the one bossing everyone around, the vehicons have been having fun with bossing Megatron around for a change. Setting the pace, denying overloads, and overall being in control.
Starscream: Humiliation is the biggest thing the vehicons want with Starscream, their least favorite mech on the ship. Bondage and dirty talk are the main ones here, along with making him a huge mess.
Soundwave: The vehicons going at Soundwave have one supreme goal in mind: Record him breaking his vow of silence. Anything and everything will be done to get that lanky mech to either moan or squeak and the vehicons are not stopping at anything.
Knockout: You can bet that the main thing the Vehicons wanna do to Knockout is mess up his paintjob in every way possible. Scratching, biting, rubbing, any way to transfer paint, they did it. The most popular section was the inner thighs when fragging, that really drove some of the vehicons crazy.
Breakdown: Actually the only one that doesn't get fragged, purely because he's the only one that's nice to the vehicons. They dragged Breakdown to his room to let him have a nice stasis nap before starting with the others.
Shockwave: Funnily enough, only one vehicon wanted to bang Shockwave, and it was due to a major crush on him. Said vehicon dragged him away to frag in private. The whole time Shockwave's valve was getting pounded to heaven, even when he eventually fell unconscious.
Predaking: Petplay, SO much petplay. The vehicons managed to find a rope long enough to act as a collar and leash for the big guy, and they've been having fun parading him around as he crawls on all four In robot mode with his spike and valve out. The vehicons 'reward' him for tricks by stuffing his mouth or valve with a spike, and at the end of the party one vehicon lets him ferally breed as a reward for being good all evening.
Makeshift: The vehicons don't know how they managed to get this guy in the party but dangit are they taking advantage of the shapeshifter thing. Impossibly tight valve? larger than life spike? anything is possible! A couple of the vehicons even got to live out their quintesson fantasies.
I love how the fandom has collectively given Longarm hips. Like, I'm not even sure anyone realizes that his official model has him with absolutely no hip curve at all. People just took one look at him and went "Yeah that bitch has breedable hips, no this is not an option"
I had a thought. The transformers versions of "Go fuck yourself" and "Suck my dick" would probably be along the lines of "Go spike yourself" and "Eat my valve"
@lobolicious pointed out the possibility that TFA Shockwave can't even see through Longarm's optics. They're part of the disguise, and there's a real chance he had to learn how to properly emote (since his true form lacks "normal" features). Bro had to train himself to make the right expressions
And there's a chance there must have been slip ups and blank stares at times (bro has been a spy for who knows how long - he's so damn tired)
He is hanging on by a string, and it's incredibly impressive he's still keeping himself together. This is why I think he'd be especially demented if he develops a very unhealthy co-dependent relationship with a human. Dude is trying his hardest to cope, whatever it takes
Longarm stared at the pile of paperwork sitting on his desk with a blank stare. He couldn't do this right now. He just couldn't. The stress was piling up twice as fast as the paperwork, he had to take a brake.
The spy glanced over at the tiny, squishy organic he had captured adopted a while back. He had told his coworkers that it was to relieve stress. Technically true.
Me, rewatching tfa: Huh, why in the world would Meltdown choose to burn the insides of Swoop's legs-
My brain: Meltdown raped Swoop.
Me: whuh
My brain: Swoop was the one to do the work and leave the island to capture Sari. Swoop was also the first to finish transforming when given the opportunity to beat the shit out of Meltdown.
Me: Woah
My brain: *gives visual of Swoop having a crashout, screaming "SWOOP FINE" while crying*
"The Interstellar Transit System" Is a very good name for a galactic train system until you realize that including the "The" in the acronym makes it spell "T.I.T.S."
Lucky for me, I'm not above having a stupid name like this in my Transformers world :3
Ok so, I just learned that IDW Grimlock canonically wet himself once, and. It’s messing with my brain a little. Why? Well, Grimlock is one of my fave characters, IDW has my fave Grimlock design… and watersports is my biggest kink. I know it’s really freaking weird, but what can you do-
Time to make my grand introduction to the world of valveplug with a giant headcanon lol
So, you guys know shifters, right? Those shapeshifting creatures we saw twice in the aligned continuity before the concept got banished to the shadowrealm? Well, here's my in-depth headcannons about them, their origins, their history, and how they work!
SO. Shifters! Unlike most robotic lifeforms who were simply creations of their respective primes, Shifters are direct descendants of Amalgamous Prime. Specifically her second son, Pseudo, who basically went around having one night stands with every bot he could convince to frag. As a result of being descended from Amalgamous, the true forms of every shifter has only one eye. At first, Shifters were simply just another robotic lifeform like their non-shapshifting cousins, but over time people grew suspicious and wary of Shifters due to how they could steal the identities of others and commit crimes without a trace, along with the bad stigma that Amalgamous had developed because of her third son. The straw that broke the camel's back, however, was this one extremely powerful shifter that figured out how to do mnemosurgery and would go around changing his form and stealing the thought processes of others. Once this shifter was caught, the high council made it so that all shifters had to wear these shape-locking bands, and the hatred grew so much that the council decided that to punish their non-shifter prisoners, they would replace their head to look like shifters, and thus empurata was born.
Now for shifter biology! Shifters are most well known for being able to change their appearance, but how powerful that ability to shift is depends on how "Pure" of a shifter they are, aka how much of Amalgamous's genes are dominating. The most powerful shifters are able to completely mass-shift to perfectly resemble their intended form, while the weakest may only be able to change their color scheme and a few details. The average shifter is in between these two thresholds, with the ability to change most things but not all. While their shifting ability is their most prominent feature, there are other things that set them apart from non-shifters. For starters, all shifters are able to change their true alt-mode far easier than others, no matter how strong they are. This is due to their t-cogs being incredibly flexible. However, the most striking part is how their reproductive system works.
Shifters are unique in that they can determine how their reproductive systems function, but only once. Once it's set, it's set, and is the one thing all shifters cannot change, no matter how powerful they are. Shifters can't set their system until they've become adults, which is a failsafe against setting it to something the shifter regrets before they've figured themselves out at all. Otherwise, shifter's can make their genitals be anything they want. Valve? Spike? Tentacle? Asexual self-fertilizing thing? The only limit is the shifter's freakiness! ... and the complexity. One cannot have more than two genitillia at once, and some types are simply incompatible with each other.
Shockwave, despite what some undedicated bots might think, is not an empurata victim, but a shifter. And a reasonably powerful one too, only really limited by size. However, Shockwave's power of transformation is only ever used by his alter ego, Tarantulas. And Tarantulas only really uses it to take on his preferred form. Shockwave's lack of "Give a fuck" about his body actually led to Tarantulas deciding on their reproductive system: an ovipositioner. Of course, this has led to Shockwave accidentally arousing their body, resulting in Shockwave completely ignoring the need to lay eggs for days on end until Tarantulas starts fronting and gets hit with up to two weeks of painfully big eggs arousing him beyond belief. Whenever this happens, Tarantulas rushes off to the nearest vehicon with a valve and frags them nuts to get the eggs out.
