Shaving With the Lights Off

This blog is half shit posts and half me just laughing | also words-in-raindrops l 26

[yorgen-sh]

[kippwire]

my lesbian clown girls

[antimonarchy]

*has a thought and has to scroll back to where I was on the tumblr dashboard to remember it*

[jazzyloveswomen]

Being an intersex person who was socially treated alternatingly as a boy and a girl growing up is really funny because your parents are grieving both the son and the daughter they never got to have and you're a freak in fake skin no matter how you choose to present. "It's easier to just present as your assigned gender though-" you'd think so but genuinely regardless of which gender I choose to present as (and god knows i've tried both) it's the 'wrong answer', because fundamentally, just existing as an intersex person is a deviance that locks you out of both pericis manhood and womanhood no matter how hard you try. At least in my experience.

[lizardsister]

good god when the onions and garlic hit the olive oil..........

[bumblebeesnees]

Panties hit the FLOOR

[lizardsister]

you know it sister

[princessdraconic]

Hero, in recognition for your courage and temerity in the face of my absolute evil, I grant thee a ring of maidenification.

[contemptible-scoundrel]

this shits gonna flip into a clean 500 gold pieces for sure

[princessdraconic]

Of course it will, should it leave your finger~

[contemptible-scoundrel]

my friend you are off your rocker if you think this thing is even getting close to one of my ring slots I know better than to make that mistake after putting on one of your amulets and being turned into a newt for a week

[princessdraconic]

you were really cute as a newt. . .

[morningwitchy]

my version of gender affirming care for pride month: vampire fangs 🤸🏻‍♀️✨

[morningwitchy]

these are composite bonding that i had done with a local cosmetic dentist for anyone curious!

[konohahater]

car is a sentient beast that eats dollars and can tell when you have money in your bank account

[konohahater]

🎯

[elodieunderglass]

Today the kids wanted to play Takeaway. I don’t mind playing Takeaway, because I can usually do something else with my hands. My role is to place an order on my pretend phone, and receive it from the delivery driver. I’m quite good at Takeaway.

Bear, aged 8, was the leader of this particularly chaotic takeaway. I overheard them pretending to phone another customer - customer order 125 - and explaining that their delivery would be delayed by approximately fifteen minutes due to a “rockslide.”

“Hey, wait a minute, what was that?” I asked.

“Are you order number 125?”

“No, I’m order number 165.”

Bear said severely, “we don’t give information about other people’s orders.”

“That’s very professional,” I said, “but what was that about a rockslide?”

Bear said, “that’s not your order.”

“Sorry,” i said, justly chastened. “Was it a big rockslide? Is it on the news?”

“If you need information about your order, you will get it.”

My pretend phone then pretend rang, so I had to answer it. It was the takeaway.

“Number 165? Your order will be delayed by five minutes.”

“Oh,” I said, “why?”

“Because that’s the time it takes us answering all your stupid questions.”

[singlecent]

[wholesome-animal-images]

[romanticskull]

well it's not gonna deterr them if they know it's fake

[pinkbowsandstripedsocks]

[edwardspoonhands]

Honestly, Tvyek is pretty miraculous. It’s permeable to water vapor but not to water, it’s nearly impossible to tear, but can be easily cut. It’s cheap and made entirely without binding chemicals. In addition to being used for wristbands, it’s used to wrap construction sites to keep out water during construction, for tear-resistant envelopes at Fed-Ex, coveralls for mechanics, and my wallet, actually.

Fun tip, though it looks like paper, Tyvek is plastic, and cannot be recycled with paper.

[fairypsychicarchive]

[andromedafalls]

holy fuc

[piisbetterthanpie]

I didn’t even know it had a name

[loving-the-world-since-00]

[werewolf-cuddles]

tfw Pride Month starts tomorrow

[werewolf-cuddles]

tfw it’s now pride month

[yorgen-sh]

[sayhelloanimalfriends]

this is the first time in my life i thought oh i hope there’s music

[agentromanoffsir]

neocities guide - why you should build your own html website

do you miss the charm of the 90s/00s web where sites had actual personality instead of the same minimalistic theme? are you feeling drained by social media and the constant corporate monopoly of your data and time? do you want to be excited about the internet again? try neocities!!

what is neocities?

neocities is a free hosting website that lets you build your own html website from scratch, with total creative control. in their own words: "we are tired of living in an online world where people are isolated from each other on boring, generic social networks that don't let us truly express ourselves. it's time we took back our personalities from these sterilized, lifeless, monetized, data mined, monitored addiction machines and let our creativity flourish again."

why should I make my own website?

web3 has been overtaken by capitalism & conformity. websites that once were meant to be fun online social spaces now exist solely to steal your data and sell you things. it sucks!! building a personal site is a great way to express yourself and take control of your online experience.

what would I even put on a website?

the best part about making your own site is that you can do literally whatever the hell you want! focus on a specific subject or make it a wild collection of all your interests. share your art! make a shrine for one of your interests! post a picture of every bird you see when you step outside! make a collection of your favorite blinkies! the world is your oyster !! here are some cool example sites to inspire you: recently updated neocities sites | it can be fun to just look through these and browse people's content! space bar | local interstellar dive bar creature feature | halloween & monsters big gulp supreme peanutbuttaz | personal site dragodiluna linwood | personal site patho grove | personal site

getting started: neocities/html guide

sound interesting? here are some guides to help you get started, especially if you aren't familiar with html/css sadgrl.online webmastery | a fantastic resource for getting started with html & web revival. also has a layout builder that you can use to start with in case starting from scratch is too intimidating web design in 4 minutes | good for learning coding basics w3schools | html tutorials templaterr | demo & html for basic web elements eggramen test pages | css page templates to get started with sadgrl background tiles | bg tiles rivendell background tiles | more free bg tiles

fun stuff to add to your site

want your site to be cool? here's some fun stuff that i've found blinkies-cafe | fantastic blinkie maker! (run by @transbro & @graphics-cafe) gificities | internet archive of 90s/00s web gifs internet bumper stickers | web bumper stickers momg | gif gallery 99 gif shop | 3d gifs 123 guestbook | add a guestbook for people to leave messages cbox | add a live chat box moon phases | track the phases of the moon gifypet | a little clickable page pet adopt a shroom | mushroom page pet tamaNOTchi | virtual pet crossword puzzle | daily crossword imood | track your mood neko | cute cat that chases your mouse pollcode | custom poll maker website hit counter | track how many visitors you have

web revival manifestos & communities

also, there's actually a pretty cool community of people out there who want to bring joy back to the web! melonland project | web project/community celebrating individual & joyful online experiences. Also has an online forum melonland intro to web revival | what is web revival? melonking manifesto | status cafe | share your current status nightfall city | online community onio.cafe | leave a message and enjoy the ambiance sadgrl internet manifesto | yesterweb internet manifesto | sadly defunct, still a great resource reclaiming online social spaces | great manifesto on cultivating your online experience

in conclusion

i want everyone to make a neocities site because it's fun af and i love seeing everyone's weird personal sites that they made outside of the control of capitalism :) say hi to me on neocities

[depsidase]

[goatsandgangsters]

vibrator store, you CANNOT send me an email that says "she deserves to feel good" with a discount code for mother's day, you CANNOT be doing that