Hope Everyone Likes Pancakes

[easyvirgin-deactivated20160413]

[easyvirgin-deactivated20160413]

[katyasbitch]

Here’s Katya smoking in a freezer

[grawly]

[grawly]

[grawly]

[officialbluebeetle-deactivated2]

ok but what if like. werewolves transform under the full moon but theres just this one and by day hes a big tough guy and then when he transforms hes a tiny dog. just fucking. just fucking turns into the tiniest, fluffiest dog

imagine that howling at the moon

[officialbluebeetle-deactivated2]

imagine

[beeefy]

u lie down and its like (• ) ( •) and thats just how it is

[ryanthedemiguy]

You lie on your side and it’s just (•)(• )

[freudiandip]

what kind of eyes do y’all have 

[gwennovynne]

country roads

let’s-a-go

it’s-a-me

mario

[gahdamnpunk]

An absolute badass

[rheahlove]

You haven’t heard of her because you’re not French. Trust me French women know her name.

[rabbitloser]

You guys out there deserve so much appreciation! <3

[bengalithor-deactivated20190130]

I live in a body

Allegedly

[shitpostsampler]

[gaynfl-moved]

is he gonna check???

[beaky-peartree]

the only DB Cooper theories i accept:

he died cuz he was an idiot who jumped out of a fucking plane during a rain storm in the middle of the night

it’s tommy wiseau

[xenosagaepisodeone]

there’s no proof he hit the ground so he could still fall on us at any time

[tatscatsandbats]

his dumb stupid tie got stuck on a branch and he hanged himself on accident because he wasn’t wearing regulation sky-diving gear

he fell into another dimension where everyone is Benjamin Button and he became a God to them and refunded their economy with the money

it was the crew, they were all in on it and split the money

[gallusrostromegalus]

I have.  A new recliner chair. It’s very comfy. but I am worried.

Mochi. Has decided that the best place to sleep is between my feet on the footrest. and when I have my laptop open I tend to. forget that he’s there.

I am going to dump him onto the floor.

Maybe not tonight, maybe not tomorrow night but Eventually He will end up rudely dumped onto the floor,  like so much salad.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Pictured: a cat unaware of the fate probably rapidly approaching him, despite me telling him three times now. He is too comfy to care.

[threeunrelateddescriptors]

Question: You dump your salads on the floor? Why?

[gallusrostromegalus]

Comorbid ADHD and carpal tunnel have lead to a disorder that I like to call “clumsy bitch syndrome” wherin if I get distracted or grab something wrong I will just… Drop whatever I’m holding? For some reason my favorite salad bowl is a regular victim. Also happens to piles of laundry, the TV remote, and sometimes knives.

I have a strict policy of never holding babies.

[gallusrostromegalus]

G U E S S   W H A T   I   D I D

[gallusrostromegalus]

Mochi is either very forgiving or very bad at cause and effect.

[masterchiefqueefs]

Two different socks, t w o d I f f e r e n t s o c k s, T W O D I F F E R E N T S O C K S

[gallusrostromegalus]

They live in my shoes most of the time, so they’re the same by the most useful metric (Thickness).

In other news, 

I tried to give mochi a headscritch while he was on the stairs.

my stairs are basically carpet-covered slabs of wood, with no “backing” so you can see through them.  They’re also directly above the stairs that go down to the basement, so there’s a bit of a drop.

mochi

rolled over for bellyrubs

and fell

through the stairs

about six feet

before rolling over mid-air and catching himself on the floor/ledge above the basement stairs, claws digging into the wood like mufasa during that one scene that fucked up everyone’s childhood.

Unlike Mufasa

Mochi is both strong and not predestined to die for narrative purposes

so he hauled his fat ginger ass up over the ledge as I got to the bottom of the stairs.

he stared at me.

I stared at him.

Mochi then bellowed his loudest and most victorious of cat bellows, and threw himself into my chair and rolled over for bellyrubs.  Which i gave him.

i am afraid

as Mochi is a ginger like my husband his father

that my son may have inherited my Clumsy Bitch Disease

[bunjywunjy]

the nice thing about cats is they’re mostly immune to fall damage

[bibs-blocksberg]

Ginger male cats all have Clumsy Bitch Disease.

[catchymemes]

[librius]

hey so uhhhh when are we kicking this spoiled fucking child out of the office

[librius]

holy shit

[librius]

welcome to hell! welcome to hell!

[luisonte]

[coldtofire]

This is my new absolute favorite.

[candiikismet]

I had so much fun watching this

[imaginarycircus]

This isn’t a mic drop. This is the birth of a black hole.

[kari-izumi]

This wasn’t a murder I witnessed, but a mass execution