the meaningless half

[tavolgisvist]

and

‘let’s get a couple of bowler hats’

And now I know, there's only one place to be You know where that place is Yeah for you to be with me

(Looking For You)

[tavolgisvist]

(x) (x)

+ I look in the mirror

Here Today

[torchlitinthedesert]

Writing this post made me wonder about Paul, Jane, and their engagement - thanks to @idontwanttospoiltheparty and @waveofahand for requesting this follow-up, and to @paulmacca1966 for sharing so many good sources! My guess is that Paul first asked Jane to marry him before they moved to Cavendish Avenue together in 1966, and she said “not yet”.

Their decision to live together caused a lot of comment at the time, with the sexist assumption that Paul can’t have asked her. It’s worth questioning that. Given her general assertiveness, if 1966 Jane had wanted to marry before cohabiting, I’d be surprised if she had settled for anything else.

Of the two of them, Paul is *much* more committed to marriage as a concept. He comes from a background where early marriage was the norm, and had always seen it as part of his future. Jane was less conservative. Interviewed in 1969, she goes out of her way to say that she’s “not in the least disapproving of anyone who had a baby without being married first.” She went on to do just that: her first child with Gerald Scarfe was born in 1974, but they didn’t marry until 1981.

In Many Years From Now (where we know he’s downplaying Jane’s role in his life), Paul comments: “Once or twice we talked about getting married, and plans were afoot but I don't know, something really made me nervous about the whole thing.” That “Once or twice” suggests an ongoing conversation - which matches what they told Hunter Davies: “At various times, one of them wanted to get married, but the other didn't. Jane says it was usually something happening with the Beatles, just when it looked all settled, which made her change her mind. Paul says it was her acting…”

In 1965 and 66, Paul seems more committed than Jane does. Of course, that needs lots of caveats: he was wildly unfaithful. But he’s planning a life for them as a couple, while Jane is the one holding back. This is his peak era of learning from the Ashers, exploring the London culture scene. He buys the house in April 1965, and pours time and money into remodelling it on the lines of the Asher house in Wimpole Street, installing a six-foot high triple portrait of Jane in his music room. In that context, asking her to marry him doesn’t seem like a stretch.

And Jane? Goes to Bristol for a season with the Old Vic theatre company. (Performances started in October 1965, with rehearsals before that; she was probably auditioning late spring or summer.) So she decides to move away for a year, just as Paul is getting their soon-to-be-shared house ready.

That’s a big, conscious choice. In an interview in 2004, Jane reflected on turning points in her career: “There was definitely a mini fork where I could have done a film or gone to Bristol for a season. Theatre was what I really wanted to do at that stage - not that I didn’t and don’t want to do films, but it was more interesting at that time to go and build up my craft at Bristol and do a lot of good work.”

In a repertory theatre season, you stage a series of plays with the same group of actors, who work together as a company for a year or more. For British actors of Jane’s generation, a repertory season was a classic learning experience: packing in multiple roles and genres, coping with very fast turnarounds, trying things you might not be cast for in a standalone production. It’s intense and very demanding. A film probably meant a few weeks away from home. Bristol was much bigger, long-term commitment.

For Jane, it was also a change of mind. In the February 1965 issue of 16 Magazine (published when Paul was already house-hunting), Jane told Alan Freeman: “I was offered two years at Stratford [ie., a repertory season with the Royal Shakespeare Company], but it would have meant leaving so many things that mattered to me - friends… and everything.” (Sentimentally, Freeman comments, “She didn’t go deeper but I’m sure I know what she meant.”)

So at the start of the year, Jane turns down a repertory season, specifically because she doesn’t want the impact it would have on her personal life. By summer, her priorities have flipped. What changed?

It’s possible that she regretted her Stratford decision. The Royal Shakespeare Company’s 1965 season was a hit, including a youth-conscious Hamlet with David Warner’s hero suggesting a modern student, and future Oscar-winner Glenda Jackson as his Ophelia. Maybe Jane looked at it and thought, “That could have been me.” Maybe she was tempted by the shorter Bristol season (one year, rather than signing up for two in Stratford). The Bristol Old Vic was less high-profile than the RSC, but was still a respected theatre that would look good on her CV. She was 14 years into her career, and had made the leap from child star to ingenue; Bristol would give her credibility as an adult actress.

Jane as Juliet in Bristol, with Frank Middlemass as Friar Laurence and Gawn Grainger as Romeo. David Warner as Hamlet for the Royal Shakespeare Company. Paul visiting Jane in Bristol

What about the personal side? I suspect she got cold feet. At the start of 1965, she told Alan Freeman that she wanted “The same as every other single girl, Alan. To eventually get married and have children.” Eventually, not right now. She helped Paul find and decorate Cavendish Avenue, but maybe he was going too fast for her. Bristol would give her space to slow down, to live independently, rather than taking the old-fashioned route of going straight from her parents’ house to her romantic partner’s. And it would be a break from the Beatles, from living with Paul’s fans camped outside her door.

Jane had every right to pursue her craft and ambitions, to resist being rushed into wifehood. More generally, the way the Beatles pressured their wives and girlfriends to give up work is appalling. But - much to my own surprise - I can see why Paul took her choice of Bristol as a rejection. It’s possible to be both in the wrong and have cause for hurt - both/and, not either/or. If I’d bought a house with my partner, planning a life together, and they immediately picked a year-long job in a different city, a job they had previously avoided because it was hard on relationships? I think I’d feel hurt. His reaction isn’t only sexist bullshit (though sexist bullshit is still very much present). It’s my impression that this is when Paul starts being a dick about Jane’s career. Before that, he actually seems quite supportive: regularly travelling to see her performances outside London, visiting her on movie sets, being her arm candy at premieres. It’s with Bristol that he starts bitching.

MYFN has an oddly vivid little description of I’m Looking Through You: “Written in Paul's attic room at Wimpole Street, surrounded by the evidence of Jane and her family, the lyrics are unusually specific and personal for Paul, who normally preferred to universalise his songs.” Miles then quotes Paul: “This one I remember particularly as me being disillusioned over her commitment” - which is a telling choice of word. He did “universalise” For No One, a later fight-with-Jane song. It becomes a breakup song, emphasising the fear of being left behind as the woman moves on. She no longer needs him.

They didn’t break up then, but from this point on, they’re on different trajectories. And I wonder about the what-might-have-beens. How differently does the story play out if Paul and Jane had married in 1965 or 1966? His idea that it’s only infidelity if you’re married is bizarre and terrible, but he’s consistent about it, changing his behaviour after marrying Linda. That said, the 1969 change was reinforced by depression and huge life changes. Would he have done that for Jane, while the Beatles were still touring? (Seems unlikely.) How would marriage/commitment to Jane affect his drug use, given that she hated drugs? Does he go on resisting LSD? Does he still become the cocaine elf prince of 1967? What about his Pepper-era closeness with John? What if he and Jane had had children? In 1969, she called children her “ultimate ambition” (surprising her interviewer, who expected her to pick a theatre role). She and Paul both turned out to be devoted parents. I assume that would have had a drastic impact on his priorities.

I said I guessed that Jane said “not yet”. In 1967, she comes back from her American tour to find a very different Paul - LSD, spiritual experiences with John, a house full of people she didn’t know. Again, it wouldn’t be surprising if she’d ended it there (and would probably have been a lot less messy). But if 1965 Paul is more committed than Jane, that would flip in 1967. She cared enough about the relationship to fight for it.

[way-beyond-compare]

Paul at Abbey Road Studios for the recording of High in the Clouds ☁️ (via nicoatlan on Instagram, July 18 2026)

[tavolgisvist]

"Brother John" rhymes with "Phil and Don" as if Paul is metaphorically rhyming "The Everly Brothers" with "The Nerk Twins"

[bodl-gatefold]

Look what I made!

[tavolgisvist]

The legs of contestants in a 'Miss World' beauty competition sponsored by Mecca Dancing in 1953 (x)

[rainintheevening]

What is prev to you?

the smell of woodsmoke in the dark

sunlight glittering on drifts of snow

opening chords to a classic song after an ad break on the radio

daisies in a mason jar

the curve in the road you always take a bit too fast

blank notebook with a leather cover

a stone church with carvings and spires and stained-glass

a cool pillow and a warm blanket at midnight

playlist that makes sense to no one else

yellow leaf floating down a clear cold river

silver fog over green hills and warm hands in raincoat pockets

a strain of violin music floating through a crowded subway

Voting ended onJul 18

[james-winston]

The Beatles in Australia

[tavolgisvist]

It was Peter [Sellers] who presented the Beatles with their Grammy Award at Twickenham Studios on Wednesday 28 April 1965. The National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences had given the award for ‘A Hard Days’ Night’ as the ‘Best Performance of a Vocal Group’ for the year 1964. When presenting the Grammy, Sellers referred to it as the ‘Grandma Award.’ The presentation was filmed and a clip appeared on the NBC Grammy Awards programme ‘The Best of Record’ on Tuesday 18 May 1965.

(Peter Sellers and the Beatles by Bill Harry)

[tavolgisvist]

Walrus

The first line was written on one acid trip one weekend.

(John Lennon, September 1980, interview with David Sheff for Playboy)

It was my first trip with John, or with any of the guys. We stayed up all night, sat around and hallucinated a lot. <...> You're looking into each other's eyes and you would want to look away, but you wouldn't, and you could see yourself in the other person. It was a very freaky experience and I was totally blown away. There's something disturbing about it. You ask yourself, "How do you come back from it? How do you then lead a normal life after that?"' And the answer is, you don't. After that you've got to get trepanned or you've got to meditate for the rest of your life.

(Paul McCartney in Many Years From Now by Barry Miles, 1997)

I am he as you are he as you are me And we are all together <…> I am the walrus Goo goo g' joob

(I Am a Walrus, 1967)

‘Walrus’ is just saying a dream — the words don’t mean a lot people draw so many conclusions, and it’s ridiculous.”

(John Lennon in Disc And Music Echo, interview with Ray Coleman, December 16, 1967)

I told you about the walrus and me, man You know that we're as close as can be, man Well, here's another clue for you all The walrus was Paul

(Glass Onion, 1968)

There was a song of his called ‘Glass Onion’ where he had a line about, ‘Here’s another clue for you all, the walrus was Paul.” And he wanted to keep it but he needed to check it with me. He said, ‘what do you think of that line.’ I said, ‘It’s a great line.’ You know, it’s a spoof on the way everyone was always reading into our songs. I said, ‘here you go, you know, you’ve given them another clue to follow.’ So we would check stuff against each other and it was obviously very handy for our writing to be able to do that.

(Paul McCartney, 2001, interview with Terry Gross)

 ...if you're listening, I'm the Walrus too

(George Harrison, October 8th 1969, at Apple Offices in London, interview with David Wigg)

That’s what I’m saying: I was the Walrus, whatever that means.

(John Lennon, December 1970, interview with Jann Wenner for Rolling Stone)

Yesterday I was the dreamweaver But now I'm reborn I was the Walrus But now I'm John And so dear friends You'll just have to carry on The dream is over

(God, 1970)

John would say things like, ‘It was rubbish. The Beatles were crap.’ Also, ‘I don’t believe in The Beatles, I don’t believe in Jesus, I don’t believe in God.’ Those were quite hurtful barbs to be flinging around, and I was the person they were being flung at, and it hurt. So, I’m having to read all this stuff, and on the one hand I’m thinking, ‘Oh fuck off, you fucking idiot,’ but on the other hand I’m thinking, ‘Why would you say that? Are you annoyed at me or are you jealous or what?’ <…> I tried. I was sort of answering him here, asking, ‘Does it need to be this hurtful?’ I think this is a good line: ‘Are you afraid, or is it true?’ – meaning, ‘Why is this argument going on? Is it because you’re afraid of something? Are you afraid of the split-up? Are you afraid of my doing something without you? Are you afraid of the consequences of your actions?’ And the little rhyme, ‘Or is it true?’ Are all these hurtful allegations true? This song came out in that kind of mood. It could have been called ‘What the Fuck, Man?’ but I’m not sure we could have gotten away with that then.

(Paul McCartney, on Dear Friend in The Lyrics, 2021)

from the sketches for The Bruce McMouse Show (1969/1973, Antigua)

My name is Morse* Moose and I'm calling you

(Morse Moose And The Grey Goose, 1978)

*a "morse" also is the archaic or alternative English term (derived from Russian morž - морж) for the walrus, and it remains the standard word for "walrus" in French - un morse)

Q: But what about “Here’s another clue for you all, the walrus is Paul” from “Glass Onion”? A: Well, that was a joke. The line was put in partly because I was feeling guilty because I was with Yoko and I was leaving Paul. I was trying—I don’t know. It’s a very perverse way of saying to Paul, you know, “Here, have this crumb, this illusion, this—this stroke, because I’m leaving.”

(John Lennon, 1980, in All We Are Saying by David Sheff)

Every day we used to make it love So why can’t we be making love It’s easy The time has come the Walrus said For you and me to stay in bed again It’ll be just like starting over

((Just Like) Starting Over, 1980)

I’m still a Walrus*

(Paul McCartney, The McCartney Interview, released December 4th 1980)

*If you play the outgroove the end of side two backwards, Paul says: “I’m still a Walrus.”

Yeah, you’ve guessed it. I am the Walrus.

(Paul McCartney, June 2012, from Greenpeace's campaign to protect the Arctic support letter)

And who was the Walrus? We will never know.

(Paul McCartney, 2012, interview for Mojo The Beatles Magical Mystery Tour Special Edition)

He [a young squirrel named Wirral] sets out to find his mother’s old bandmates – played by McCartney (as a walrus named McKenzie, obviously), Starr (a bird named Roy) and Richie (a bison named Gladstone) — and accidentally sparks a revolution.

(‘High in the Clouds’ Shares Original Music, Early Art and a Beatles Reunion in Annecy Sneak Peek By Rafael Motamayor for Variety, June 13, 2025)

(The Beatles Anthology, 1995/2025)

[tavolgisvist]

John: “It’s a groove, growing older. I’m looking forward to it, when I’m, say, 67, and they’ll have me on the Eamonn Andrews Show. ‘—AND HERE HE IS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, CARRYING THE VERY GUITAR HE PLAYED ON STAGE AT THE WORLD-FAMOUS CAVERN IN LIVERPOOL: JOHN LENNON.’” Paul: “And then you’ll play ‘She Loves You?’” John: “Yeah — what a groove!”

(Disc And Music Echo, interview with Ray Coleman, December 16, 1967)

[tavolgisvist]

Look two magpies A girl and a boy One for sorrow And two for joy Three for a girl Four for a boy I saw two magpies Two for joy Content to cry No more to lie In truth with you To face down fear Content to cry No more to lie No more to lie And face down fear

(Two Magpies, 2008, Electric Arguments)

One for sorrow Two for joy Three for a girl Four for a boy or One for sorrow Two for luck Three for a wedding Four for death Five for silver Six for gold Seven for a secret never to be told

(a traditional children's nursery rhyme)

…wrote a secret code To never be spoken

(Days We Left Behind, 2026)

[tavolgisvist]

From January 1975 (when he and May were planning to go to New Orleans to see Paul and Linda) John works on a song which called ‘Tennessee’

Tennessee, oh Tennessee Your Southern bella ring Music travelled far from New Orleans Slings and arrow mirrored In the magic of your dream Reflected in the harmony Of the cold and lonely naked human being

The song would later transform into ‘Memories’

Memories oh memories Release me from your spell Today is all I need to know Why do you have to haunt me When I thought I let you go? I'm hearing your whispering Through the cold and lonely hall <…> Memories oh memories What you do to me Today is all I really know …to haunt me When I thought I let you go?

About ‘Tennessee’ usually tell it's a sort of paean to Tennessee Williams' ‘A Streetcar Named Desire’, and it is so.

But do you know this song?

<…> Oh, I remember the night And the Tennessee Waltz 'now I know just how much I have lost Yes, I lost my little darlin' The night they were playing That beautiful Tennessee Waltz I remember the night … She goes dancin' with the darkness To the Tennessee Waltz And I feel like I'm falling apart And it's stronger than drink And it's deeper than sorrow This darkness she left in my heart I remember the night … That beautiful Tennessee Waltz

(Tennessee Waltz by Les Paul & Mary Ford, 1950, it also was recorded by Alma Kogan in 1964)

Also another Les Paul & Mary Ford's song which John (and Paul) knew very well:

That spring of 1960, John and I went down to a pub in Reading, The Fox And Hound, run by my cousin Betty Robbins and her husband. We worked behind the bar. It was a lovely experience that came from John and I just hitching off down there. At the end of the week we played in the pub as The Nerk Twins. We even made our own posters. Betty’s husband turned me on to showbusiness in a big way, and the talk we had with him about how we should do the show was very formative. He’d been an entertainments manager hosting talent contests at Butlins, and been on radio. He asked what we were going to open with, and we said ‘Be Bop A Lula’. He told us: ‘No good. You need to open with something fast and instrumental. This is a pub, a Saturday night, what else have you got?’ We said, ‘Well, we do ‘The World Is Waiting For The Sunrise’.’ I played the melody and John did the rhythm. He said, ‘Perfect, start with that, then do ‘Be Bop A Lula’.’ He was good like that, and I would remember his advice years later when we were organising our shows.

(Paul McCartney in Anthology, 1995)

[tears-of-mascara-deactivated201]

Very first footage of Paul being together with Linda Eastman.

[tavolgisvist]

To an extent, John Lennon was held hostage by his enormous fame—not only because of his stature as the premier Beatle, but be- cause he had chosen to live in the most conspicuous building in one of the most populous of cities. Oddly, more fans came to the Dakota when Paul McCartney was on tour or if some event brought the otherex-Beatles into the limelight. It was as if the fans still regarded theBeatles as a unit, a singular presence, and whenever one did something, it stimulated interest in the others.

(The Last Days of John Lennon by Fred Seaman, 1991)

[tavolgisvist]

One of my regular assignments, he said, would be to keep the juke- box well stocked with his favorite singles, such as B. B. King’s “The Thrill Is Gone,” a song he had been dying to add to his collection.

(The Last Days of John Lennon by Fred Seaman, 1991)

The Trill is Gone

The thrill is gone The thrill is gone away The thrill is gone, baby The thrill is gone away You know you done me wrong, baby And you'll be sorry someday The thrill is gone It's gone away from me The thrill is gone, baby The thrill is gone away from me Although I'll still live on But so lonely I'll be The thrill is gone It's gone away for good Oh, the thrill is gone, baby It's gone away for good Someday, I know I'll be over it all, baby Just like I know a man should You know I'm free, free now, baby I'm free from your spell I'm free, free, free now I'm free from your spell And now that it's all over All I can do is wish you well

also

Memories oh memories Release me from your spell Today is all I need to know Why do you have to haunt me When I thought I let you go? I'm hearing your whispering Through the cold and lonely hall <…> Memories oh memories What you do to me Today is all I really know …to haunt me When I thought I let you go?

(Memories, 1975-1980)

[pennielane]

You actually feel that [Paul] sees everything before it happens, and has somehow time traveled to the future, listened to both “Abbey Road” and “Let it Be,” and is trying to explain them to the others. He is supremely confident, and focused. He is in some “zone” of creativity that cannot be explained. It’s at once annoying and genius. — Roger Friedman, on Get Back Part II