[tw: fat hate, trouble with clothes, social problems, school discrimination, social class]
Hi - I just discovered your blog and it’s a lifesaver to me! Sorry if this is too long but I have a lot to get off my chest!
Thin privilege is having school uniforms designed for your body size and shape. I’m 16 and just got a scholarship my sophomore year at a private, all-girls high school in my town. I tried for it last year but finally got it this year. The school uniform is a white buttondown blouse and plaid A-line skirt. They didn’t have my size to order so we had to get the cloth and pattern and a dressmaker to enlarge it and custom make them. First of all we could only afford 1 blouse and 1 skirt so by Thursday-Friday I’m worried I smell even with deodorant + body spray. Second of all the skirt is designed to go around the waist which is something I can barely remember having. It has a tight waistband 2 inches wide on regular skirt and almost 4 on mine which so, SO does not work for me.
The thing with me is I have 2 bellies. I’ve had them since I was about 8-9 and I know how to dress. One-piece dresses and stretch pants with long pullover tops are my friends. But I have nowhere to put this fucking skirt that works. Putting it beneath my boobs, above my top belly is what I like best alone in the mirror, because it hides my bellies and makes my legs look super-long, but it’s also way too short, I can’t sit down without my whole butt showing and even shows my crotch if I’m not careful. When I put it in the middle, between my bellies, which is closest to where it would go on a thin girl, it pinches me constantly. I usually settle for this but it hurts like hell. Plus I can’t breathe deep which when I’ve just gone up the stairs or across the playing fields and I’m gasping makes it look like it’s just because I’m fat. No, chowderhead, it’s because I’m not fucking allowed to wear clothes that fit! By the end of the school day I’m in agony with a deep red line where the waistband cuts in. Plus my bottom belly poofs out the skirt so it looks shorter than it is in front. If I put it beneath my bottom belly, it covers me up down below and is the most comfortable, but my blouse won’t tuck in so part of my bottom belly shows which is against the dress code. Plus I have to keep hiking it up because my butt can’t hold it up on its own since most of my weight is in my belly. I’ve been written up twice for looking “sloppy” which I know for an absolute fact would not have happened if I was thin.
All as in 100% of the other girls here are thin. Most are actually skinny, and those that aren’t are still curvy thin. Literally the second biggest girl in the whole school after me is probably a size 10 or 12 with big boobs and a tiny waist. So far no one has been mean which I was afraid of but instead they mostly just ignore me. Like if I need somewhere to sit at lunch and I ask if I can sit here, they say OK but then keep talking to each other and don’t talk to me. It’s as if I’m beneath even teasing to them. I’d honestly rather have my existence acknowledged even in a mean way. My whole first semester I haven’t been invited anywhere outside of school. And if I try to invite them they’re always doing something else like track meets or dance practice. I’m so torn because I can see how this school is lightyears better academically but I can’t make friends due to prejudice. In my old high school there were no art or AP classes as well as a lot of drugs and sexual assault, but there were several other people my size and even bigger whom I hung out with.
As far as class goes the teachers are almost as bad as the girls. I haven’t had an actual desk like everyone else since fourth grade but I’m used to that, being stuck by myself at a table in the back or corner of classroom, sometimes having to sit on two chairs because the only size chair they have is small. The teachers here often seem surprised when I understand the reading or know the answers but I can’t tell if it’s because I’m fat or because I’m poor (not really but compared to most other students). Everyone seems to know I’m on full scholarship and I wonder if it’s just because I’m fat and fat people are supposed to be poor, rich people are supposed to be skinny. I wonder if I could blend in better if I was skinny. The worst is my biology teacher who praises me constantly for stupid little things no one else gets praised for, but I guess it’s supposed to be harder for me. I take that back, the absolute worst is PE. In my old school and middle school no one cared if me and my friends slacked in PE, it was pass-fail and if you showed up you passed. Here it’s an actual grade and this PE teacher makes up special assignments for me like pointless yoga stretches or a step aerobics video made for people doing physical therapy when everyone else is playing lacrosse or basketball.
I’ve heard all this talk from adults both before and after I started this school about how uniforms are supposed to be an equalizer, keep kids from competing with clothes and who’s richer than who, etc. I can tell you from firsthand experience that that’s bullshit because A) everyone knows who’s rich and not-so-rich anyway, and B) even if they were an equalizer it would only work that way for the people they’re designed for, i.e. thin people. When you impose uniforms you just rob everyone of the ability to dress their best and increase the advantage of the naturally prettiest. I would be the biggest supporter of my school getting rid of uniforms but I don’t think there’s a great chance of that happening in the next 2 and a half years.
I know I’ve written a lot but thanks for reading. I sprained my ankle jumping down the stairs on Christmas morning so now I’m lying around with nothing to do for the rest of vacation but read and try to do a little writing of my own. I’m grateful to have discovered your blog and I hope my story gives others hope.
baratheonpilled
blakekathryn
pixelskylines
tangentwithtanner
jacobvanloon
origamiaround
dailybridgerton
