The Physics of DnD
Context: Sitting around helping my friend plan the final session of his campaign. He’s doing this all in vagueries so that the other players sitting with us can’t figure out the plan. The illusionist (who is in on the plot for meta-reasons) asks these 3 phenomenal questions:
1) If i polymorph into something gigantic, jump, and then polymorph into a tardigrade, would my momentum be conserved so i could basically float?
2) Would Greater Restoration be enough to cure Stage 4 cancer?
3) If i cut off my arm, can i use my blood to breathe?
Nobody knows what the hell they’re planning. But we can’t wait to find out.
The breaking use of polymorph I always liked was polymorph something substantial into a mouse. Put it in a solid steel ball...what you don’t carry around hollow, solid steel balls? What kind of adventurer are you? Leave the ball and mouse on the ground and walk away. One of two things happen:
1) the air in the ball runs out, mouse dies, dead large dangerous thing.
2) polymorph runs out, large dangerous thing expands, trying to fit in a mouse-sized steel ball...aka squished large dangerous thing, aka dead large dangerous thing. Eventually, all my DMs outlawed hollow steel balls, I had too many uses for them.
