Good luck with that, man!

I dont remember half the shit i post on here take it with a big fat grain of salt . he/any this blog is for me to be suicidal and horny . not much else

[tearfulcatalyst]

All I have in life is horror movie yaoi and masturbation

[cluster-a-culture]

Cluster a culture is of course I’m ‘very self aware’ and ‘introspective’ all I have is my own mind and all I can do in here is think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think and think some more and

[cluster-a-culture]

szpd culture is (1) never telling anyone about your symptoms because that is an invasion of privacy, but simultaneously (2) feeling frustrated that your pd is never taken seriously and it's just seen as introversion. disgusted by people who don't understand me, disgusted by people who do understand me. can't win with this disorder

[nyetiboy]

Szpd + autism culture is oversharing to high heavens when your brain is also screaming at you to SHUT THE FUCK UP

[cluster-a-culture]

Szpd unspoken culture is being envious / jealous that other people have friends. Especially if your interest person has other people to hang around. Why would you do that to me? You're the only one I have, why I am not the same for you?

[cluster-a-culture]

Cluster a [szpd] culture is every few weeks: my social media account has too much personality, time to go through all of my posts and make the tags even more vague and remove everything that could indicate I exist and have thoughts

[tearfulcatalyst]

Everything is actually evidence that you don't love me anymore

[chartnumber3]

one thing i dont see people talk about on here is the "inconsistent morals" part of szpd. i believe i might have co-occurring scrupulous ocd, and so having these two traits causes so much more conflict in me than is healthy. just every hour with this, with me assuming im some sort of unfeeling monster but in the next, feeling like a pushover loser who cares too much about the little things no one thinks about.

during my teens it was particularly bad, believing a myriad of contradictory, strange things to construct my worldview. ive shaven it down a lot by now, but theres still this emptiness within me in the place of true empathy and feeling. all i have is logic, and i use it to come to conclusions that try to include feelings. other's and "mine", but in the end it feels like a sham and im sorry.

i try my best to substitute empathy with pure mental calculation like a sort of crude, artificial mimicry of these beautiful natural human feelings shaped by evolution for millions of years. and i hope the risk for harm is as close to 0 as possible, because i do care, but in my own way.

hey, ive been vegan for like 7 years so i guess something's working lol

[tearfulcatalyst]

My brain is a billion different people screaming opinions at me whilst im just trying my best to be rational and its fucking exhausting

[bitting-my-tongue]

"Oh you have quiet bpd? You don't look bpd tho, must be nice!"

Me, at any minor inconvenience: I am worthless! Everybody hates me! I'm a walking fuck up! I'm going to leave everyone's lives and free them from the burden that is me! Also now I hate everyone but I'm too depressed to do anything about it

[luguuuu]

how to beg for attention without seeming pathetic

[friendforthefucking]

My dilemma as someone with Quiet BPD

[twistedsweethearts]

I spent every moment of my childhood preforming. Who I was going to be wasn’t something I ever got to decide. I was given a box, and I had to fit in it no matter what. I pulled myself apart trying so hard to be what was expected that I never had the chance to develop my own identity.

I tried so had to be what everyone wanted and it was never enough.

And now- I’m nothing. I’m just a scared child trapped in an adult body desperately hoping that someone will tell me exactly what I need to do to be loved.

I’m nothing.

[tearfulcatalyst]

I know you don't really care about me don't lie to me

[tearfulcatalyst]

I know you don't really care about me don't lie to me

[palmtree-pool]

I FILLED HER UP COMPLETELY WITH WATER IN THE TUB!! beautiful mini millie. lots of smacks.

[tearfulcatalyst]

I miss my boyfriend so bad im actually nauseous omg

[tearfulcatalyst]

I want my boyfriend :(