Yashamaru's bomb suicide has its nuances to put a finger on it, wat was planned by rasa didn't include it but psychological trauma from lying about karura's care, the suicide wasn't there but yashamaru's decision was to go on with it by his own accord to cope with it, like to atone for what he has done to gaara and has taken part in knowing despite if he did not rasa would've stepped in and gaara would've underwent a more violent event. It looks like pitting levels of induced trauma, what could've been worse and what was very violent forced by the very relative who would've done worse, thing aside. It wasn't about yashamaru's will only but a extreme, yet sad action to take gaara with him in spite of saving him from what was about to come, what was expecting ahead he would become, to an extent it was a desperate action to take the child with him, strip him off rasa's hands and take it where he will not hurt anymore, there lies violence but does, too, an underlying desperation to save him even if the possibilities of gaara dying right there were very low thanks to the automatic sand defense.
One more way to look at it is yashamaru hoping gaara would hate him from there onwards for the betrayal, the lies, the masked care he gave him, for have fabricated a false idea in gaara's head he was loved and cared by someone who didn't fear him for reasons he is completely unaware of and out of his reach of understanding. The idea would never cross rasa's mind to tell gaara about the behind the scenes of what happened and shatter the lie he told as truth being the true just the part where he admitted he was requested by gaara's father to carry on with it.
Is not exactly about hard love and indiscriminate cruelty toward a child from his very caretaker but an actual violence they were both forced into it by someone who overpowered both of them. Yashamaru was an adult, too, he overpowered gaara as such and yet he was left with no options of what to do because if he didn't carry on with it rasa would've stepped in and taken care of it by his own hands, it was sadly a choice within a violent lie to birth the trauma and a possible violent event to condemn gaara to live as a imprisoned animal not so different from bunpuku
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