elyse

21 | ⚤ | IN | ♈︎ insta - @elyseackerman

[retrogamingblog]

[pajaentrecolegas-archive-deacti]

The Brady Bunch Movie (1995), dir. Betty Thomas

[everythingfox]

The best vibrating bed money can buy

[wunkolo]

[gahdamnpunk]

💀💀💀

[catsi]

salt & vinegar chips are snacks for fucking masochists. literally the entire flavour of the goddamn chip is “acetic acid, which will hurt your tongue, and then just salt on top of that to hurt it worse”. it’s brutal. this chip is designed to hurt you

[maxknightley]

yeah and it kicks ass

[onlytwitterpics]

[babyanimalgifs]

[minnie-kittie]

Pic ©: ☆

✘ PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE CAPTION ✘

[danidonovan]

I’ve been working on being more conscious of how I write emails, and made this handy printable guide! I have a bad habit of overusing exclamation points, emojis, and qualifiers like “just” and “possibly” to sound extra-friendly and non-threatening in emails. (“Just wondering / just confirming / just checking / just making sure / just wanted to let you know”) You are allowed to take up space. Your voice deserves to be heard. Your opinions matter. You don’t need to apologize for existing or asking for what you need. You are not “bossy” or “bitchy” for not sounding like a pep-machine 24/7. If you act like a doormat, you better develop a taste for shoe leather. You have power too. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself— no one else is gonna do it for you.

[gobblechopstv]

[igmakeup]

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[bender-rodrigas]

[oppa-homeless-style]

[pr1nceshawn]

The Best ATM Withdrawal Defense

[alexanders-archives]

I’m here for women with powerful dogs!

[urocyonfox-deactivated20210104]

My land lady is a 90lb 88 year old woman with 5 full grown Rottweiler boys. They sit around her when she gardens and watch her like the secret service. If you show up to pay rent they all stand up and stand between you and her.

It’s intimidating to have 5 pony size boys all staring at you until she stands up realizes it’a you and walks to you.

My favorite part is she wades through them like swamp water saying in her cute old voice ‘move’ ‘move please’ and each one she nudges to move wags his whole body at her touch and stumbles out of the way like he’s been knocked over by a truck. It gives me life paying my rent.

[ifonlymp3-deactivated20220624]

i got really mad at red today

[ifonlymp3-deactivated20220624]

this is literally one of the funniest things i’ve read today thank you