Can you ask my doctor to remove my ovaries please?
I just don’t understand why you think I have authority over your doctor. What do you see me as.
Sweet Seals For You, Always

roma★
KIROKAZE
taylor price
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

izzy's playlists!

blake kathryn
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Misplaced Lens Cap
tumblr dot com
will byers stan first human second

shark vs the universe
hello vonnie

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YOU ARE THE REASON
Noah Kahan
Monterey Bay Aquarium

@theartofmadeline
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Cosmic Funnies
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@technical-tryhard
Can you ask my doctor to remove my ovaries please?
I just don’t understand why you think I have authority over your doctor. What do you see me as.
did i tell you guys i failed at being sexually harassed at work today?
okay so, guy at work, who i find out afterwards is famous at this place for being a sex pest, comes up and starts with what i also learn is his favorite opener to conversations where he’s going to be a sex pest, namely: “Do you know where the term ‘blow job’ comes from?”
and here he made his first fatal error. his moment of hubristic sex pesting. because of course i know where the term blow job comes from, i love learning about sex and the history of sexual terms! i know so much about oral sex that i could write a book on it!
🫵 HEROES in the tags
500 years from now there’s gonna be some film historian who’s entire career is built off of searching for a copy of goncharov
“Of course we’re in love, that’s why i tried to shoot you” “if you really loved me you wouldn’t have missed” is such a raw ass line you would think it comes from Goncharov (1973) and you would be right
Winter has arrived on Poob.
Start your 7 day free trial of Poob today, and watch smash hit Martin Scorcese's Goncharov.
i feel so bad for nikola tesla like imagine spending years beefing with a guy who has conned the public into believing he's some sort of supergenius when in reality it's his overworked employees developing all of his world-changing inventions and you end up dying broke and starving and alone and then 100 years later another guy cons the public into believing he's some sort of supergenius when in reality it's his overworked employees developing all of his world-changing inventions and he's doing it all IN YOUR NAME. he must be rolling in his grave like a fucking rotisserie chicken
His ghost is setting those cars on fire actually
I hadn’t really considered “the agnostic demigod of electromagnetism is the reason Musk’s companies fail” before, but I like the concept.
Let’s help him out. Likes charge, reblogs cast
also ironically now there's a company called Edison which is doing like, actually good innovative hybrid vehicle tech because they got tired of shitty unrepairable trucks
I had an interesting night last night
I’m so glad I have tumblr gold so I can view this post
Tumblr gold users rise up
you can only reblog if you have tumblr gold. dont even try if you dont.
Reblog if you have Tumblr gold
So glad I have Tumblr Gold
This kinda content is why I pay for Tumblr gold
If you’re anxious, don’t worry.
Fun Lord of the Rings character lore!
This mf's name was Gothmog. He was named after his favourite method of killing his enemies. With his fucking sick drip.
The only being that Gothmog will take orders from is Morgoth, the only being that is even more goth than Gothmog.
I love characters who are like "I'm a terrible person" but when you look closer it's more like
"I adapted to survive something and now I don't know how to stop being that version of myself."
happy pride to the ska loving rhino dyke
one of the tweets of all time to me
mustard snob canon
passing in public makes me feel like white shrek
literally how it feels
Yes I know you mistrust the banks, milord, and I don't blame you, but their Vault Wizards are specially trained to prevent dragons from detecting large amounts of gold. I cannot emphasize enough that it's a full-time job employing multiple specialists, I'm not trying to be humble here but it's not something that just the court magician and I can set up a couple wards for on the weekends and call it good.
It's, it's just that dragons are the primordial embodiment of avarice wrought into fire and flesh. They are truly, supernaturally good at finding large amounts of valuables, that's why the big mines hire those Dragon Scouts to go sniff out their lairs and mark them on the maps as potential mining ventures. You know, in case someone slays the relevant dragon. Which doesn't happen often because, milord, they are simply not that easily slain.
No I know you've hired many knights, blooded warriors and true. Yes, I was there when you gave the ten most impressive ones their special sashes. Very grand, very high honors, of course. Ehm. It's just, none of them have ever actually faced a dragon. Yes no I know Sir Edbert says he did but Sir Edbert is rather notoriously prone to exaggerated and tragically unverifiable tales---
Well no milord of course I would not doubt the word of a sworn knight. Perhaps his sobriety, but not his word, as such.
The point is that the grand treasury, while surely grand and a very special notion, is just... it is mayhaps not the ideal way of handling the realm's finances? Perhaps a series of smaller vaults, capped well below the dangerous wealth threshold at which gold is known to whet the appetite of colossal winged harbingers of death, in different corners of the realms or...?
No, I, yes well I do realize that will impede anyone's interests in coming into the vault to hurl around the gold coins and go "whee, I'm so rich!" I am aware of its deficiencies as a plan in that regard. No, I see I've misjudged a few things.
Actually, thinking on it, milord, I truly believe what you need is a fresh set of skilled wizards on this job. The court magician and I, we cannot keep up with your visionary thinking. We're too old-fashioned. But the wizards revolutionizing the eldritch academies seem to be more on this sort of level. I hear they've made some truly remarkable choices in terms of outsourcing all of their spellwork to the Ever-Whispering Void, such that it takes mere minutes for them to set up an entire defensive array. That's just the sort of innovative thinking you require.
Though it will grieve the court magician and I to leave your service, perhaps this is a sign that retirement is overdue. So I'll just... be moving further away from the big pile of gold... in the opulent, dome-shaped building with the crystal skylight... best wishes.
Chat am I cooked? (Fire alarms have been going off for hours. Smoke has filled the entire building. I am nothing but a pile of ash).
surprisingly forward-thinking of jim henson and co. to make a female character in the 70's that's allowed to be loud-mouthed and violent and kind of overwhelmingly romantic and even a huge bitch at times and not have a moment where any character asks her to change
going through all the muppet movies in a row made me realize that like. miss piggy was made in the 70's. and it's so rare even today to have a character like her. she's loud, she's selfish, she's funny, she's extremely vain, she's obsessed with romance, she's violent, she's kind of annoying, and there's not a single moment in any of these films where she's asked to tone down any of these personality traits. i am not joking when i say that miss piggy might be one of the best treated female characters ever written
you might be on to something, I've never heard Miss Piggy being called problematic either
I think that's kind of the point of The Muppets.
Kermit is not a particularly inspiring, rousing, or bold leader
Fozzie is not a funny comedian
Gonzo isn't good at stunts
Ms. Piggy isn't a traditionally "demure" and polite woman
But they do these things anyway because that's how they have fun and spread joy. You can't insult any of them because they won't care or change.