did she learn nothing from jfk
i’ve waited years to post this gif and nows the opportunity because it’s so fucking funny and i forgot where it came from
she could take it
Noah Kahan
occasionally subtle

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@amultitudeofyellowrodents
did she learn nothing from jfk
i’ve waited years to post this gif and nows the opportunity because it’s so fucking funny and i forgot where it came from
she could take it
tumblr name a woman challenge (impossible)
#why is the last one talking like women aren’t real and ‘woman’ a euphemism for ‘gay man’
(from @murderballadeer)
If you make a post about evil women, they’ll name a man. If you make a post about evil men, they’ll name women. If you make a post appreciating a specific evil woman, they’ll call you evil
LMAO YOURE JOKING
If we really must give Cass a weapon then screw katanas, just install some retractable Freddy claws into the gloves of her batsuit so she can fully embrace the Nosferatu aesthetic.
they would never do it, but a meteor hammer would be pretty awesome
IT/IT'S ISNT DEHUMANIZING ME I ASKED YOU TO CALL ME AN IT! I WANT TO BE CALLED AN IT! FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK
I think that if you want relationships depicted in your fiction – whether primary media or fan-work – to be emotionally compelling, there's really no getting around the fact that one of the most compelling relationship dynamics in fiction is "hey, wouldn't it be fucked up if".
And I don't just mean "one of them is clearly taking advantage of the other" type relationships, either. There's a whole spectrum of upfuckery to explore, including (but not limited to):
Each of them thinks they can fix the other, but really they're just enabling each other's worst impulses
Sticking together no matter what because no matter how bad they are for each other, the terror of the unknown is worse
You're pretty sure staying in this relationship constitutes a form of wilful self-harm; for whom is genuinely unclear
They actually just straight up hate each other, but each regards the other as the only one who Gets It
They're perfectly happy together, but the way they play off of each other is harmful to literally everyone around them
*at a family gathering* you’re all like coworkers to me
there will be layoffs
the man who packs his suitcase like he’s going to shit himself every day is a fool every trip but one
AO3 Writer Affirmations:
I do not have to reinvent the wheel every time I write fanfiction
I do not have to make every chapter's word count above 1,000 in order for it to be good
It is okay if some things don't make sense
I can write whatever I want
I am writing this shit for free
If people don't like my stuff, they can block me. If they're being mean about it, I can block them.
The most important part of writing fanfiction is having fun
Writing fanfiction is supposed to be fun
I do not have to appeal to people
This shit is fun
I am doing this all for free, and anyone who objects can go eat wet sand and worms from the sidewalk
I can write the same thing multiple times
I can write the same thing as someone else
My chapters don't all have to be the same length
It's never to late to go back
I don't have to finish it if I don't want to
I can choose just to write the scenes I want to write
Moa and the lost sun - The 2014 Advent Tale
(This story was serialised in 25 daily tweets from MicroSFF, December 1st to 25th, 2014. Here those tweets have been collected to give the full story.)
Moa woke to mooing. She wrapped her blanket around her like a shawl, put her feet in her clogs, and went to milk the cows.
Life moves slowly in winter. Moa took the milk to the cold cellar and returned to bed, to wait for sunrise. It didn’t come.
The sky above the smoke hole in the thatch remained dark. Moa’s family would not wake from their sleep, despite her crying.
Moa dried her tears. Then she hung the lamp from the door on the billygoat’s horn, filled his panniers, and lead him east.
They made good progress through the snow. Soon they came to the bridge over the river. “Hello,” Moa called. “Master Troll?”
The troll climbed up. “Where’s the sun?” he said. “I can’t sleep in darkness.” “I’ll find out,” Moa said. “Will you help?”
They reached the mountains, and climbed slowly, carefully. When they reached the summit, they saw a faint light in the east.
“Is that light small, or far away?” the troll asked. “It is in the valley,” Moa said. “Unless there’s a hole in the world.”
Moa filled the lamp, then led the way down the mountain. I’m not afraid, she told herself. I have a billygoat and a troll.
As they drew nearer, the troll stopped. “Listen!” There was a low, rumbling sound. Moa looked at him. “Not me!” he said.
The light, and the rumbling, grew stronger. At last they could see a huge wolf, holding a shining globe as large as Moa.
“What do we do?” the troll asked. Moa hesitated. The wolf was bigger and scarier than the troll. “Let’s ask it. Politely.”
“Excuse me?” The wolf turned to look at the three of them. “No, excuse me,” it smiled. “Did my rumbling belly wake you?”
Moa couldn’t stop the question: “Are you hungry?” The wolf laughed and looked from her to the billygoat. “Yes. Yes, I am.”
Moa did not know what to say to that, but the troll pushed past her. “So bright,” he said, then curled up and fell asleep.
“Do you know where the sun is?” Moa asked. “I caught it,” the wolf said. “Is that it?” “In a sense.” “But why?” “To eat.”
“You can’t eat the sun!” Moa rushed in and hugged the glowing sphere. The wolf smiled and lifted his paw; the sphere rose.
The sphere was warm and soft. Moa held on, terrified, as it slowly floated upwards. The wolf stood, mouth open in a grin.
Far below, Moa could see the troll sleeping, and the billygoat standing forlorn. The wolf looked up at her. Then he leapt.
The wolf seemed to grow as it rose, maw gaping wide. The enormous jaws enveloped Moa and the sun, then closed around them.
Darkness fell over the world, and the ground shook when the wolf landed again. The troll stirred, then woke. “Not again.”
The troll took a firm hold of the wolf’s tail and yanked it, hard. The wolf raised its head to the sky and howled in pain.
When Moa saw the jaws open, she bent her knees, pushed hard against the wolf’s tongue, and jumped, the sun ahead of her.
Once she was clear of the wolf’s teeth, Moa shoved the sun up and away. She watched it rise as she was falling, and smiled.
Her mother nudged her. “Sun’s rising, wake up.” Moa sat up in bed; heard her dad ask: “Why is the lamp on the goat’s horn?”
Some of my favorite variants
More variants
hi so yeah im trying to find the hotel california and i know i have to take the highway to hell but i accidentally turned left onto the boulevard of broken dreams. i took the first hard right onto the rocky road to dublin cuz i thought it would loop back around but it didnt lol and i know im waaaaaay off course bc i just drove by the house of the rising sun haha. so how many miles until i get to the hotel
500 MILES?!?!?!
time loop with two people in it but one person refuses to acknowledge the loop and pretends to be looping with everyone else. meanwhile the other person is freaking out
last night was talking to my dad about career plans and he goes "i dont know if you should do a trade, you should print tshirts and sell them at the oceanfront"
👆👆👆 literally how it is
clone some of your own cells and revert them to stem cells in a petri dish because you're a wealthy man trying to cure your weird autoimmune disorder
to announce the project, tell everybody This
i hate when a book describes a pause as pregnant. get your dick out of the pause
terry pratchett is the only person who actually knew how to use a pregnant pause
Usually when the electrician goes 'hey.... there's something you should see' it's because someone set up shoddy wiring. This time it was because he pulled two snakes out of my wall
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