Miss Malibu and the Gentlemen Jacks -Poly Marauders
A/N 1: ^ order from left to right is Peter, Remus, James, Sirius change my mind.
Ship: Poly Marauders (James Potter x Sirius Black x Remus Lupin x Reader)
Trigger Warnings: Alcoholism, swearing, references to addiction and illusions to rehab/treatment
Summary: Sirius isn't his usual self, and an intervention sheds some light on the situation.
A/N 2: I may have taken some inspiration from a PTV lyric- a follow will come to anyone who spots it ;) Also I don't and never will write for Peter Pettigrew, soz not soz.
You liked a drink as much as the next person. Hell, everyone you knew drank, and there was no way anyone could stop teenagers from doing so, even at Hogwarts.
It was the '70s after all.
Sirius Black more than anyone, had a reputation as a party animal, for lack of a better word. However, of late, he had been letting things get out of hand, and you had noticed. You all had.
During one late night party in the Gryffindor common room (you had forgotten the occasion), the animagus had become...unhinged, to a whole new level.
By midnight, Sirius had somehow lost his shirt, burnt through two bottles of fire whiskey, one bottle of meed and was steadily working his way through a forth bottle- a charming muggle drink called wine. He found it most agreeable.
"Oh come on now, Y/N," he had said, "let's not kid ourselves. We all know I'm nothing without my favourite girl..." Even through a cloudy, dizzying haze, his glassy eyes locked with yours and for a moment, your heart skipped a beat. You hated the uncertainty of your feelings. Turning his attention to the crowd before him, he professed his love. "...My favourite girl, Miss RosƩ, that is!"
The statement, accompanied with a classic Black wink, had you all in fits of laughter so powerful your sides began to hurt.
You were just drunk enough to laugh at anything, but not yet drunk enough to miss the obvious.
For a moment, even through your own vaguely unfocused eyes, you thought you saw a flash of pain through your best friend's dark, mesmerising eyes. You brushed it off as he held up his now almost empty bottle victoriously, draining it with a final swig.
Remus remained close to you and the other Marauders. He stood, more sober than any of you, running his eyes over his three best friends.
His golden-brown irises rolled back in his skull at Sirius' performance, but what didn't go unnoticed to the lycanthrope was the way your gaze remained fixed on the shaggy-haired teen, analysing him as though he was a specimen.
The twinge Remus felt in his heart was one that was becoming a little too familiar for his liking. It made him squirm. He felt dirty, wrong for feeling...jealous?
Truthfully, he had no idea what he was experiencing or why his closest friends suddenly made him so nervous. It was if the wolf inside of him sensed something the bookworm could not. It drove him crazy.
Remus always knew everything.
James had moved to stand just below Sirius in order to help him clamber down from the table upon which he had previously been standing.
"Yes, Pads," James chuckled affectionately, "we all saw you."
With his feet firmly on the ground, Sirius hummed musingly, his brows knitting as his addled brained discovered he had drained his supply of suppressants for the evening.
His slurred complaints to James fell upon deaf ears, the brunet was more occupied with trying to capture a mental picture of his best friend, and the way his long, dark hair fell over his eyes.
That was the first night any of you had begun to notice that Sirius Black had a problem, as much as you hated to admit it. Yet, his motives for this behaviour remained a mystery, and that was the way Sirius intended to keep it.
Loving one person was overwhelming enough, but the animagus' heart was collapsing under love for three. It was not one love split three ways, but a lifetime of love for each of them.
Yes, Sirius Black was in love, with all three of his best friends.
It was stupid of him, cruel even, to assume that you would want someone like him. A screw up, a prankster, a disowned teenager who already relied on his friends for most of his joy.
All sparks fade, he supposed. All dreams die eventually, even ones of a picket fence and a house with enough room four. He was completely idiotic.
Up until a few months ago, the young Black wasn't even sure that love existed. But he was sure that it was completely impossible for anyone else on earth to feel what he did, love how he did.
The way those emotions filled him, stretched to every corner of his body and mind, it was frankly remarkable that he even had room left inside of him for all the alcohol and other analgesics he had been religiously consuming of late.
James Potter, Remus Lupin and yourself preferred to call it concerning at the least.
It was worth noting that the evening of the party, James Potter had confessed his love to and for Sirius Black, not that either of them would remember.
After James had quite literally dragged his best friend through the common room, eventually making it to the dorms, Sirius had made him promise to sit with him until he fell asleep.
James just couldn't help himself.
You see, the brunet, like Sirius, was in love. Not only with the raven-haired boy but his other two best friends as well. While James was more comfortable with this idea than Sirius, each of you remained blissfully unaware of each other's feelings.
So, as James sat beside Sirius' sleeping form, running his fingers through the boy's hair, he spilt his guts. How he loved him for who he was and how he fought against his family, even if it meant risking everything. How he hoped, more than anything, that the four of you would fall naturally into a loving, domestic bliss.
If only Sirius had put down the last bottle when he had the chance, perhaps things would have been different.
Two or three weeks went by, and it became unusual for anyone to catch a glimpse of the Black heir without a bottle, flask, or other concealed containment device.
Sirius was notorious for skipping classes 'just because', but now that he had discovered the secret remedy to getting through another day free of heartbreaking misery, he barely made it outside Gryffindor tower.
Quidditch, meals and the odd prank on Snivelly were the only regular exceptions.
For the most part, he was still his charming, funny self, at least when the booze was on board. But truth be told, he was disgusted- with himself mostly.
How sick and perverted did he have to be to not only fall for his closest friends, but three of them at once? Sirius supposed he could blame it on his upbringing, but even that did not justify it in his mind.
Something had to be wrong with him clinically, it was the only explanation. Some underdeveloped part of his brain, something that he couldn't consciously control. Maybe that way he could live with it.
After all, why in his right mind would he choose such a torturous fate, guaranteed to lose him the only one's he'd ever belonged with, willingly?
"He's got another bottle," the Gryffindor prefect muttered, eyes not leaving the worn pages of his book he read in his armchair by the fireplace.
As Remus had informed, a month after the infamous party, Sirius Black waltzed over to the couch in the Gryffindor tower, which you and the other Marauders were currently situated around.
The bottle of fire whiskey in his hands was already half gone, he found it was one of the easier liquors to handle. It was likely only his first drink of the day, however at 3pm, there were surely many more to come, as you'd grown to predict.
Thankfully, the animagus remained mostly lucid when under the influence, due to a usefully high alcohol tolerance, even with wizard drinks being stronger than muggle ones. However lately, while still remaining the Sirius Black you all knew and loved, he had a tendency to become cocky and evasive. It was something you were all fast becoming sick of.
You had all hoped that Sirius would back off on his own, calm down a little. Maybe he was just going through a partying phase, after all it wasn't uncommon. But the more time that went by, the more you came to realise that one of your best friends was suffering, potentially seriously- no pun intended.
You needed to do something, say something. Maybe you finally had your chance.
"Just leave it," James whispered harshly, dreading the unavoidable conversation. He couldn't bear to think about his closest confidant in anguish over something so terrible that he wouldn't dare to tell the brunet about it. The thought broke his heart. "He knows what he's doing."
"No," you countered, watching carefully and critically as the shaggy haired man flopped himself down onto the sofa, "I don't think he does."
"Remus," the man in question replied with a slight tip of his head.
"Haven't you had enough?" Your head whipped around to look at the werewolf, eyebrows furrowing in annoyance. That was not the subtle way you had all agreed to handle the situation.
"'T's never enough, Mooney. You know that."
Sirius' casualty towards the issue stirred something up in the stag, who decided to join the conversation after all. "Pads, come on, mate. Put the drink down and come sit with us."
"I am sitting with you, James," the pureblood retorted sassily.
"Don't be a git," the taller boy replied, teeth primed to crash and slide against each other as they had so many times before.
You were watching it all unfold, recognising tell-tale signs of all the boy's anger levels rising. James' grinding teeth, Remus' scarred hands clenching into fists, Sirius' inability to look any of you in the eye.
Internally you wondered whether it was creepy that you had noticed those little details about your friends. A deep pit settled into your stomach at the thought.
You shook yourself from your doubts, you were sure you'd have to intervene soon. For now, you would have to see where the conversation was headed, hoping that the man you all cared about would realise the severity of the situation.
"Don't tell me what to do."
'Yep, time to jump in,' you decided.
"We haven't seen you without a bottle in your hands for weeks. Surely you recognise the implications." You questioned him sternly as you set your own book aside completely, concern wearing your patience for the usual antics thin.
"Everyone drinks. Don't be a prude, darling."
"Maybe, but not everyone drinks this much, Sirius. Or this often. You have a problem, even if you cant see it," you pleaded, praying he would see things from your perspective.
Your own frustration begun to mount exponentially as he remained silent, still draped across the burgundy couch, and raised the bottle to his rough lips once again.
The young Black didn't trust his own tongue in that moment, fire trickling from his new-found crutch and growing inside him.
No matter how angry he became, no matter how much you threw at him, he never wanted to hurt you back. Even if he decided you were better off without him in your lives, he couldn't be the one to leave. It would hurt you all too much, cut you too deeply, if he were the one to abandon you.
If you told him to go, however, came to the conclusion that he was not worth your time, he would do as you wished.
"Pads, we're here to help," Remus tried once more, upon seeing your unsuccessful attempts to break through Sirius' tightly guarded psyche. James and yourself sat anxiously by the ( softly crackling) fireplace, waiting for a reaction. "Don't you think it's time to pick up the pieces, you know, pull it together?"
"And what's so good about picking up the pieces, Mooney?! Huh?! Why does everyone seem to think that's the right thing to do?!" Sirius spat out of nowhere. His tone took you more by surprise rather than actually harming you. All the same, it was not one you cared to hear.
"Why wouldn't you?" The wolf persisted.
"Because it means having to face shit I would rather avoid right now."
"This. You," Sirius gestured spitefully to the air around him, "this confrontational bullshit!"
That managed to shut Remus up quite effectively, however it launched James into a whole new gear. No one, not even his best mate, was going to get away with speaking to someone he loved like that. If only the brunet knew....
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Forget it, James. I shouldn't have said anything." Just like that, he retreated in on himself. As quickly as his fury had appeared, it was dissipating before your eyes. It was the most any of you had gotten out of him in weeks, you couldn't let that be the end.
"Oh no. Too late for that, Sirius." It was rare for James to use his friend's birth name. It felt sour on his tongue, considering the context.
"I said forget it, Prongs."
"Sirius," the bespectacled boy warned.
"James, you prat," Sirius spoke exaserbatedly, "will you j-"
"SIRIUS, SHUT THE FUCK UP!" You interrupted. Remus flinched at your volume. Your barriers had come crashing down, you had had enough.
This shit was about to end, and it was ending tonight.
The Gryffindor's mouth had been open, mid-sentence when you cut him off. Slowly, he brought his chapped, kissable lips together and sank meekly back into his seat. He didn't dare look a single one of his friends in the eye, least of all you.
He loved you, all of you. But now he saw how he had been hurting you. He was right after all, he discovered, you were so much better off without him.
Before he had ensconced himself amongst you, you had all looked so happy in each other's company, without him. Why did he think he even had a chance with a single one of you?
"What's been going on with you?" You inquired after the dust had a moment to settle. Your voice had shifted to one now softer and full of concern.
"Is it your family?" James took his turn questioning the man in front of him, whom his heart ached for as he appeared only a shell of his former self.
Sirius' usually well-groomed face was full of stubble, and the stag noted his eyes appeared hollow and sunken. They weren't full of his usual spark, as though he hadn't laughed for weeks on end. James supposed he hadn't, not really.
"What family?" Black scoffed weakly, his grasp on his lifeline of a bottle tightening in response to the interrogation he was under. "You three are the only family I have."
"And we're here for you, mate. So tell us what's going on."
"Homework? OWLs?" You and the lycanthrope each guessed.
A tear he hadn't felt forming slipped down Sirius' cheek, as they had so many nights previous. He was weak, tired of fighting and ready to succumb to the inevitable- your judgement.
Sirius gave up his biggest secret, his reason for living, even if living required a little numbing to get by.
"Merlin...you really don't get it, do you?" You each gave him a questioning look, Remus' heart clutching as his eyes connected with Sirius'. "This is it for me," he whispered hoarsely, words sticking in his throat like glue. It made the process even more torturous. "These moments are my life. These years are all I'll ever be good for or deserve, and even then I'm not sure I'm worthy of it all."
"That's not true, Padfoot, you know that." The quivering vibrato of Remus' voice matched Sirius' in a perfect harmony. Each of you were constantly astonished by the natural way you fell into sync with each other. There was never any resistance or hesitation, as though a higher power was wiling it so.
Previously, Remus John Lupin had never been an overly emotional man. He had decided long ago that he couldn't afford to be, otherwise he would be broken month after month. Now, his mouth was dry and his skin ached to touch Sirius', to comfort him.
"Sirius, what're you trying to say?" You urged him softly, daring only to dip a toe into the waters which you were testing. You could sense there was more on his mind.
"If you don't...accept me, if we don't do 'this' now, I'm never going to get another chance. You'll all be gone and that will be it."
Sirius was already certain he was doomed for a life of loneliness such as that, but something inside him, maybe some small sliver of hope, just couldn't let him move on from what he was sure was the loves of his life, without asking the vital question.
Without them, his life meant nothing, was worth nothing. But at least he would finally know if he could ever have them.
You spoke up this time, you were the only one who could. Remus was completely befuddled.
But James, who was already one step ahead of you two, was silent. Dead silent. Technically speaking, he was in shock, completely stunned without any used of a spell, completely out of character for the Potter boy.
Sirius...he couldn't feel the same...could he?
The long-haired animagus spoke softly, opting to end his punishment swiftly. Besides, he could sense James' understanding and wanted to get the yelling out of the way early, in order for other students in the Gryffindor dormitories to be able to sleep in peace. "Us. 'This' is us, it always has been."
The silence in the air was not uncomfortable, but neither was it utterly still. The crackling wood from the low burning fire and gentle thud of Sirius' bottle being set against the stone floor were the only sounds heard.
Sirius Black had never been comfortable with silence, having experience far too much of it in the echoing, haunted halls of Grimmauld Place.
"I doubt you feel the same way I do," he rambled, intermittent coughs breaking up his speech as he fought against his narrowing throat for air. "It's completely twisted of me, selfish too. But, if we don't do this now, if you don't...love me now...sorry, you get it."
As he was heard to mumble a brief 'shut up' to himself, something in the wolf's brain clicked.
"Wow...I-just...wow," James broke from his peacefully quiet thoughts.
"Love..." Remus repeated, shifting in the armchair he was still seated in.
"Remus, stop," Sirius pleaded, "you don't have to rub it in."
"No, no. It's not like that. I-it fits."
"What do you mean, Moones?" The brunet prompted, moving to sit beside a distressed Sirius.
His hands balled tight fists into his hair, threatening to pull harder and harder. His eyes continued to fill with salty remorse and embarrassment. Sirius' physical state reflected the embodiment of your own emotions.
Although, you weren't upset. No, far from it.
Love...he loved you. It all made sense and all of a sudden, it was if the last year of your life flashed before your eyes. Only this time, you viewed the cinema reel of your memories with the veil lifted. You saw everything so clearly, it was completely unfathomable how you hadn't before.
You loved him, you loved them, of course you did. You always had.
"It fits," Remus continued. Really as an academic man he scolded himself for not recognising the signs until that moment. "I've been trying to find the words for what I've been feeling. I thought it might have been anxiety, or odd effects from the full moons...but it's love. It fits."
It took the wolf's words a few moments to resonate in the dog's brain. "Rem, really?"
A small smile and nod was all the encouragement he needed to dare to look the man beside him in the eyes.
With a grounding hand on Sirius' back, James made his second confession to the boy, and his first to you and Remus. He locked eyes with you first, still sitting cross-legged in front of the couch.
James thought you looked beautiful, the embers behind you lighting up your silhouette. "I, uhh, I've felt the same for a while. A bit over a year maybe. Y/N, you were the first..."
Now that you weren't expecting. "W-what?"
"Remus was mine," Sirius chimed in with a raw throat and wet cheeks. He leant into James' touch and the stag smiled in return. Both were grateful for the comfort.
"Y/N was mine too, I think."
You turned to face the bookworm, unsure if it was his words or the near-by heat source causing your cheeks to darken. You thought clearing your throat might break the tension, however it only intensified the boy's gazes upon you.
"Just because I'm causing a scene doesn't mean that I want anyone to feel like they have to do anything, even if you feel the same," Sirius attempted to reason. "I understand that none of this means a relationship is on the cards. I know Mooney has only just realised he's in love and Y/N, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure you've just had the same revelation?" Damn he was observant. You nodded shyly and Sirius' heart skipped a beat. He was in so deep. "It's up to all of you where we go from here."
Both you and James looked to each other before focusing on Remus. Sirius watched closely, his leg unconsciously bouncing beneath him.
Occasionally it knocked against the almost-forgotten bottle of fire whiskey beside him. It was taking all of Sirius' will-power to not chug the whole thing right then and there.
The tension was driving him more mad than if he hadn't of known at all.
The honey-haired brunet was the first to speak up.
"I don't want to rush into anything simply because we have a name for our emotions now. Although, I know definitively that I don't want to be without you after we finish at Hogwarts this year. I want to keep what we are now going, at the very least. I suppose anything else that happens will be a bonus. I think I just need some time to process, if it's alright with you all, of course."
"Of course," you smiled, shuffling closer to rest your hand on his knee. Remus couldn't hide his smile. "I agree that I don't want to rush anything, this is all really new."
James agreed. He knew the relationship could be something special, and wanted to give it the proper time and attention it deserved.
It was only in that moment, after a soft whimper, that your attention was drawn to the Black heir.
"Sirius, I'm sorry if that wasn't the news you wanted," you tried to comfort.
"Y/N, Remus, James...this is everything I could have hoped for. You didn't kick, you didn't scream, so far anyway," he joked nervously. "None of you have humiliated me or degraded me, nothing like I expected."
"I still have my family," he continued. "that's all I could ever ask for." James moved even closer to him as he spoke. They were practically moulded together as the arm around Sirius' shoulder, and comforting hand on his back took on a new meaning.
One love comforting another.
"I know I just said that I wanted to take it slow..." you prompted nervously.
"What is it, sweetheart?" James had been calling you that for years, now it made your stomach flip.
"Is it alright if we...cuddle? Or at least hug?"
"Yes please," Sirius answered at the speed of sound. "If it's too much, please don't push yourselves, I would just love to be close to you, especially now."
Wordlessly, you all came together, attracted like magnets. James stayed close to Sirius' side, feeling a bit overprotective towards the emotionally vulnerable boy he had come to love. You had moved to sit against the dark-haired wizard's chest, taking Sirius' spreading legs as an invitation. He was delighted you had accepted.
Remus opted to migrate from his comfortable armchair to the floor beneath the couch, effectively sitting in the middle of you three. Nearing the full moon, he could become more easily overstimulated by touch.
And being only a week away from the next lunar cycle, you had all learnt to err on the side of caution. James decided he felt brave, and reached his slim fingers down to run gently through Remus' hair.
It was the perfect balance. So much so that the lycanthrope let his eyes drift closed as you three continued the conversation. This was a hallmark sign of his growing need for rest, and more than anything else, relaxation. James' soothing movements were a nice start.
Remus decided he wouldn't let himself fall asleep on the floor, instead keeping occupied by interjecting his opinion when needed.
"Sirius," you spoke, "you have to cut back on the drinking. Or preferably, stop all together for a while."
"I will, scout's honour."
"We're serious. Our confessions don't change anything, we're getting you some help," James lectured, his sternness coming from a place of love and fear for the boy.
"No, Jamie. I'm Serious," he joked. He had professed to you on several occasions that he was the funniest person he knew, it was times like this that worried you. "But honestly, I was using the booze to dull the pain and how disgusted I felt with myself. Somehow I have a feeling I won't need to do that anymore."
You looked over your shoulder to see Sirius throwing you a soft smile. "We still want you to see someone, please. I guess we can all say that we love you now, we just want to make sure you're okay."
You felt a sense of euphoria finally being able to clearly express your feelings for the boys you knew so well. Their various smiles and flushed expressions told you they felt just as good hearing you say it.
"I'll try it," the pureblood muttered.
"We should get some rest," Remus slurred from below you all, fatigue finally getting the best of him.
"Come on, Mooney. Let's get you to bed, babe," James spoke adoration lacing his voice.
He stood, offering a hand to Remus, who's wide eyes stared back at him, surprised. Only then did James realise his slip up- the pet name.
"Shit, sorry Remus." He pulled the boy to his feet, awkwardly avoiding his gaze.
"Oh. Good." With a smile, the brunet picked up the prefect's scattered belongings from the common room, and swinging an arm around his waist, begun to guide him up the stairs to the dormitories.
You and Sirius trailed closely behind the pair, after you'd managed to untangle yourself from his limbs. The animagus seemed to never want to let go.
Truth be told, he didn't.
Falling in line behind your best friends, the realisation suddenly hit you that Sirius would have to go without touching you. All night.
"Wait!" You shouted a little too loudly, even scaring yourself.
"Is everything okay?!" Remus questioned from the stairs above you, suddenly alert.
"Yes, sorry for raising my voice." You had forgotten how noisily voices bounced off the castle's stone walls. "It's just that, well, you all get to stay together and talk everything through more. I have to go back to the girl's dorms," you pouted.
You loved your friends dearly, truly you did. Lily, Alice, Marlene, Dorcas, they were some of your closest companions.
But you had spent a year loving these boys, only to find out that they loved you too. It was selfish, but you didnt want to let them go, fearing they may slip away from you just as you felt you were getting closer.
The small, detailed glances the three wizards exchanged did not go unnoticed before Sirius proposed a solution. "Come stay with us tonight."
"But there's three beds," you frowned, "and only one of me. Plus the protection spells."
In order to prevent 'inappropriate student relations', the Hogwarts professors had cast protective spells on all the dorms. Only boys could enter boys dorms and vice versa.
"Don't worry ab'that," the werewolf yawned sweetly, flashing you a glimpse of his wand, which was neatly tucked in his pocket.
Of course Remus knew the counter spell, how could you have ever doubted the genius wizard?
"Remus, you're comfortable with this?" Sirius confirmed.
"Yeah, it would be kinda nice actually," he replied, fidgeting fingers indicating his honesty.
"James?" The dog animagus supposed that just because James was sure of how he felt, didn't mean that this wasn't moving too fast for him.
"Been waiting to hold you all forever," the brunet mused.
Sirius smiled broadly, emulating the expression he made as Padfoot, extending his arm towards you.
"Sounds even better when you call me that now," you murmured happily to him. You watched as James and Remus climbed the steps in front of you, exchanging soft glances when they thought the other wasn't watching.
"Well, at least you know I mean it now. You're my darling, same as you're James' sweetheart and Remus' love."
You held his bicep tightly, gentle smile spreading from ear to ear.
For years, in fact, since your beginnings at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the Marauders had been using those very same nicknames for you. Somehow, you anticipated them having a completely different effect on you now.
You climbed into the large bed Remus had managed to form with a simple charm.
The boy in question was long since asleep, having collapsed in James' arms the second his body felt the comforting security of the mattress underneath him. His head was buried in James' chest, despite being a good few inches taller than the brunet.
The stag couldn't have cared less, he was in heaven. Wrapping the wolf up in his arms, he pressed feather-light kisses to his hairline, so as not to interrupt the sleep Remus was so rarely afforded.
He was still amazed you had said you all felt the same, not to mention any of you allowing him to reciprocate his current actions with you.
James Potter truly felt at home.
Sirius curled his body around Remus' protruding spine, linking his finger's with James' as they both held the golden haired boy in a cocoon-like fashion.
You had slipped in beside Sirius, your eyes, like the rest of the boy's, quickly growing tired. You breathed a sigh of relief, feeling a large weight lifted off your shoulders. A mix of the Marauder's scents filled your nostrils.
Each of you, excluding Remus, whispered your goodnights, and all at once, you couldn't have been more excited to wake up the next morning, surrounded by the three boys you loved.
To all my marvel fans, I swear Final Exit part 4 is on it's way!
