Teeny Tiny Wizard

I am very small and doing my best

[sodomit]

I was looking for photos of one physical condition that happens to penises and came across this photoset.

[karnalesbian]

level 271 penismancer demonstrating his arcane might

[evilwizard]

just a heads up. im gonna do a big curse soon

[evilwizard]

okay so honestly i wasn’t expecting they’d be able to hide the body for this long

[evilwizard]

LINDSEY GRAHAM ?

[wizard-line-cook]

Double, double toil and trouble

Fire burn and cauldron bubble

This couplet from the witches’ chant in Macbeth is actually a serviceable soup spell. Keeps a pot simmering as long as you keep singing to it. I usually just do a shanty of what I’m making. One of the other cooks does diss raps. The soup just likes being sung to.

[teenytinywizard]

who needs alchemy to get gold when I can just cast MULTIPLY on my coins

[mr--zer0]

It seems to me that this will lead to inflation and gold will depreciate, so you will not increase your wealth by any amount.

And it takes a lot of time and money to get gold with the help of alchemy, so this method leads to inflation of gold coins much more slowly.

[the-mighty-dalob]

I mean... i could also just crash the gold economy at any point if i wanted...

I do have my vaults after all...

[mr--zer0]

... Just in case, I will transfer all my gold reserves to something more stable.

[the-mighty-dalob]

Want me to exchange your gold for some other metal?

[mr--zer0]

Oooh, that wouldn't be bad. Do you have enriched uranium?

[the-mighty-dalob]

Actually, no.

Never really needed it, i have regular uranium though

[mr--zer0]

Also not bad.

What exchange rate are you happy with?

[the-mighty-dalob]

How much gold do you want to exchange?

[mr--zer0]

Somewhere around 70 thousand gold coins.

[the-mighty-dalob]

How much is that in gold weight?

[mr--zer0]

7,74 gram

[the-mighty-dalob]

So around 550tons?

How about i give you double that in uranium?

[mr--zer0]

Yes. Not a little, but there is more gold in this world than in my world.

Wow, that sounds great, I agree.

[the-mighty-dalob]

Good.

Expect shipments soon then.

[mr--zer0]

Great! The only thing is to transport it all in a safe container. I don't want anyone in my city to get radiation sickness.

[the-mighty-dalob]

They are all insulated don't worry, don't forget they also need to keep stellar radiation out at all times

[teenytinywizard]

dealing radioactive materials on my post 😭 wizard counterterrorism taskforce will get me before wizard tax collector ever does. fortunately I am small and easy to hide, but 😭

my guard dog will have to be extra alert

[the-mighty-dalob]

Want some as well?

[teenytinywizard]

you know what, I’ve been thinking about experimenting with enriching uranium with Gaseous Diffusion spell. I’ll buy some base ingredients ☢️

[teenytinywizard]

who needs alchemy to get gold when I can just cast MULTIPLY on my coins

[mr--zer0]

It seems to me that this will lead to inflation and gold will depreciate, so you will not increase your wealth by any amount.

And it takes a lot of time and money to get gold with the help of alchemy, so this method leads to inflation of gold coins much more slowly.

[the-mighty-dalob]

I mean... i could also just crash the gold economy at any point if i wanted...

I do have my vaults after all...

[mr--zer0]

... Just in case, I will transfer all my gold reserves to something more stable.

[the-mighty-dalob]

Want me to exchange your gold for some other metal?

[mr--zer0]

Oooh, that wouldn't be bad. Do you have enriched uranium?

[the-mighty-dalob]

Actually, no.

Never really needed it, i have regular uranium though

[mr--zer0]

Also not bad.

What exchange rate are you happy with?

[the-mighty-dalob]

How much gold do you want to exchange?

[mr--zer0]

Somewhere around 70 thousand gold coins.

[the-mighty-dalob]

How much is that in gold weight?

[mr--zer0]

7,74 gram

[the-mighty-dalob]

So around 550tons?

How about i give you double that in uranium?

[mr--zer0]

Yes. Not a little, but there is more gold in this world than in my world.

Wow, that sounds great, I agree.

[the-mighty-dalob]

Good.

Expect shipments soon then.

[mr--zer0]

Great! The only thing is to transport it all in a safe container. I don't want anyone in my city to get radiation sickness.

[the-mighty-dalob]

They are all insulated don't worry, don't forget they also need to keep stellar radiation out at all times

[teenytinywizard]

dealing radioactive materials on my post 😭 wizard counterterrorism taskforce will get me before wizard tax collector ever does. fortunately I am small and easy to hide, but 😭

my guard dog will have to be extra alert

[teenytinywizard]

who needs alchemy to get gold when I can just cast MULTIPLY on my coins

[mr--zer0]

It seems to me that this will lead to inflation and gold will depreciate, so you will not increase your wealth by any amount.

And it takes a lot of time and money to get gold with the help of alchemy, so this method leads to inflation of gold coins much more slowly.

[teenytinywizard]

modern monetary theory posits that printing money isn’t what causes inflation, rather inflation occurs when spending exceeds real productive capacity such as raw materials, labor, etc. And multiply spell works on that too <3

[teenytinywizard]

who needs alchemy to get gold when I can just cast MULTIPLY on my coins

[teenytinywizard]

the crystal sphere is my WIZARD ORB it is NOT a “hamster ball” !!!

yes I sometimes teleport inside and spin around but that is my way of pondering the orb!!!

[teenytinywizard]

this way I can ponder the orb in all angles and all directions all around me and not just outside looking in. get on my level.

[teenytinywizard]

the crystal sphere is my WIZARD ORB it is NOT a “hamster ball” !!!

yes I sometimes teleport inside and spin around but that is my way of pondering the orb!!!

[teenytinywizard]

tiny wizard affirmations

I can study tomes of ancient knowledge even if the books are larger than my body

I can transform into a bigger size if I wanted to; I am proud of my natural size

My staff is the perfect size for me to wield powerful forces.

Being small makes it harder for my enemies to aim their attacks

My magic protects me from larger beasts and other threats.

Small wizards can make big fireballs

Wind magic cannot yeet me

If someone says “what is this, a spell scroll for ants?” jokes on them because they will be cursed with ant infestation. They are going to wish they had my spell scrolls.

[the-haiku-bot]

Being small makes it

harder for my enemies

to aim their attacks

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[toskarinfr]

must feel good as fuck to curse a prince for being rude to you while you were larping as an old woman for no reason

[teenytinywizard]

when I fire a lightning bolt or fireball, recoil naturally slides me backward because Newton’s third law. which is advantageous if I am facing foes only on the front, but not if I am flanked. I must figure out how to throw two beams in opposite directions… perhaps I can do so using both ends of my staff…

[teenytinywizard]

Tobias’s keen olfactory senses has proven incredibly useful in foraging for magical ingredients and materials. Also, his canine presence discourages other animals from approaching, so I don’t have to fend them off constantly. I can have energy shield on myself and blow the beasts away, but it’s distracting and it takes care to do that in a way that doesn’t disturb nature.

[teenytinywizard]

Tobias caught the wretched witch’s familiar trying to sneak into my tower. She thought just because I am in the form of a small rodent I would be afraid of a measly feline. She wanted to steal my elixir of youth! Had she asked nicely I would have given her a taste, but she just had to declare war.

[teenytinywizard]

Tobias has learned to use his muzzle to toss me into air and have me land on his back so he can carry me around that way. It’s a wild ride but I like it. I told him I could just fly, but I think it’s fun for him so I just let him. He has a quite impressive grasp on physics for a dog. A smart dog for a smart wizard.

[wizard-of-interesting-failure]

WIZARD TIP: When dealing with devils, know the difference between "what'll it cost me" and "what'll it cost"

[teenytinywizard]

STOP saying my awesome wizard tower is the size of a normal house it is a very tall tower TO ME

[teenytinywizard]

also it is bigger on the inside I didn’t make it super tall on the outside out of consideration for flying mages!!!