jonas'mst'd've

when you assume, you make an "ass" out of "u" and "me". 18|gay|gay|wait for it

[tejonas]

Should I start using tumblr yay or nay

[quasidrome]

don’t buy colgate whitening toothpaste

it says guaranteed whiteness in 14 days

15 days have come and gone

and i am still asian

[therealtheninja]

Between Jango Fett demanding a son as payment for being cloned and the mandalorian immediately adopting baby yoda I’ve come to a conclusion

[goawfma]

🤭🤭🤭

[luckyladylily]

I wont say an exception is not possible, but billionaires do not donate money. They buy control over something that is important to them. If there are exceptions I have not seen them. Every time you see a billionaire being a philanthropist and actually giving a significant percent of their money look a bit deeper and you will find them actually buying control, not giving money away.

A prime example is Bill Gates. Well known as a philanthropist, primarily for his large scale donation to education. Except what actually happened is he essentially bought a sharing control in the US education system and proceeded to fucked it up terribly. I will believe his intentions were good, but frankly that doesn’t matter. He fucked it up because he is a billionaire and billionaires just can’t give up control. It is how they became billionaires in the first place, it is baked into their minds.

They just can’t accept that Notre Dame isn’t for sell. Because that is what “donations” mean to billionaires. They want to buy a controlling stake in something that they care about, and they have been doing so long they think that this is philanthropy. Because it makes sense to them that if they are going to invest *their* money that they should make sure it is done right. But they generally have no fucking idea what they are doing when it comes to these things.

Anyway if billionaires actually wanted to help the first thing they need to do is let go of their control and pay god damn taxes.

[e-v-roslyn]

Yeah, that’s why you don’t excuse “donations” as a reason why the rich shouldn’t pay more in taxes. This is exactly why we need their help funding essential services through TAXES. So THEY stay out of what DOES NOT belong to them.

[youlovetoseeit]

OOF

[nexxdoor]

I cant wait till 2033 where this image will be funny for entirely different reasons

[bironore3]

made by @iceebergs

[nutsacktorturer]

Mongolians are cool because they’ve merged their traditional and modern ways of life so rather than having poverty due to losing all their important skills they just live in their yurts with their cows and 827474874mbs internet

[nutsacktorturer]

sure their GDP in dollars is low but when you can survive like your anscestors did it doesn’t mean anything, nothing wrong with adding a motorcycle and wifi into the mix

[hieronymus-botch]

Everyone should live like their ancestors did 1000 years ago but with the addition of wifi tbh

[the-everything-man]

Adapt. Survive.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

this is the single most inspiring piece of information I have yet to come across in all my moments in this world

[byzantinefox-deactivated2018120]

where is that picture

ah here we go:

[polyglotplatypus]

so, at last, here’s my year movie: a seal cancan!

because of my condition’s worsening, i couldn’t finish animating more than a third of it, so this video is the combination of all the storyboard, rough & clean animation i did on this project. please enjoy it!

[thisiswhymomworries]

my parents: don’t worry sweetie you’ll understand when you move out and have a house of your own :)

me, in this economy: a what

[thisiswhymomworries]

my parents: don’t worry sweetie you’ll understand when you get married and have a husband :)

me, a known gay: a what

[thisiswhymomworries]

my parents: don’t worry sweetie you’ll understand when you start a family and have your first baby :)

me, an asexual: A WHAT

[exomoon]

my parents: our little girl is growing into a woman! me, a nonbinary: a what

[you-looked-at-mysecrets-deactiv]

my parents: our boy is growing into a strong man me, a nonbinary: a what

[exoskyll]

my parents: can you tell us the SI unit of power, equivalent to one joule per second, corresponding to the power in an electric circuit in which the potential difference is one volt and the current one ampere? me: a watt

[cockyhorror]

the large man who just obliterated my front door: you’re a wizard harry

me, just harry: a what

[wowdeathwouldbenice]

this post crashed through the window and one-shot me with a baseball bat

[birthdaypigeon]

could u imagine if ppl talked about catholicism the same way they talked about like… indigenous ppl’s religions….

[birthdaypigeon]

girl in horror movie holding a bible open: “according to legend, a mob tortured a half-man, half-god, and nailed him to a wooden cross, leaving him to starve to death. But days later, on this very night, they found he had clawed his way out of the grave. Now those who believe lie in wait for him to rise again, To honour him, they have weekly gatherings where they chant and sing, and at the end of it they eat his flesh and blood.”

girl’s friend: “wow.. thats so creepy…”

horror movie jock: “it’s only a myth, don’t worry”

[tejonas]

WHY

[trashboat]

can we please have some discourse about skyr

[red-hat-pikachu-deactivated2023]

By the Nine Divines! The Dark Brotherhood must’ve gotten him before he could finish this post.

[trashboat]

god damn it i hate gamers this is about Icelandic cultured dairy products

[red-hat-pikachu-deactivated2023]

Skyrim is funnier than your obscure milk curds

[margeryunkemped]

Walking into a Getränkemarkt, dropping off my Pfandflaschen and buying something for less than the worth of the Pfand so the cashier has to pay me is my favourite flex. Give me that cash and this bottle you don’t own me.

[showerthoughtsofficial]

When you’re a kid, one teacher walking into another teacher’s classroom is the biggest crossover event reality has to offer

[flightyfinch]

my physics and english teacher hated each other and the physics teacher made a habit of getting grades back to students as quickly as possible and one day he just walked into her classroom and started handing back tests while she was trying to lecture

[actualmermaid]

I will never not be delighted by the first English description of an opossum:

“An Opassom hath an head like a Swine, and a taile like a Rat, and is of the bignes of a Cat. Under her belly she hath a bagge, wherein she lodgeth, carrieth, and sucketh her young.”

[opossummypossum]

poetry… to my ears..

[etct-deactivated20240208]

Oh my fucking god god god god god i just found the funniest picture while deep into google images

[etct-deactivated20240208]

[callmebliss]

I gotta ask, what were you searching for that you dug up such a gem?

[etct-deactivated20240208]

It was honestly something like “fucking Bingo boy when the binga bonga bling” i can tell you exactly when i get home

[etct-deactivated20240208]

[pochowek]

being a wiki admin is the modern age’s equivalent of being a monk

[gutterballgt]

This reminds me of an old joke. As short as possible, here goes:

A new monk is accepted into the monastery. The head of the order leads him around, explaining his new duties. They finish in the room where they copy the old texts, and the new monk points at a heavily barred and locked door off to one side.

“What’s in there?”

“Those are the originals our ancient brethren copied from. We continue their tradition of keeping the copies fresh by re-copying them when the copies start to fade or there is a new translation.”

“Oh. Huh.”

“Yes?”

“I just… what if someone made a mistake somewhere? Like… copied down a word wrong or something? Do we just keep copying it wrong over and over again?”

The head of the order smiles benignly. “When you see how diligently we adhere to the texts, you’ll understand. It’s highly unlikely a major mistake was made. Rest assured, my son, we know what we’re doing.”

“Oh, of course, of course.”

However, much later that night, the entire monastery is awakened by a great howling from somewhere deep in the stones. They all, including the newest monk, run about, trying to find the source of the commotion. Eventually, they tumble into the copying room and see the formerly barred and locked door wide open. A flurry of crisp-edged papers have been flung about the room, several ancient texts swiped from their shelves. It’s a disaster.

“Master, are you all right?”

It’s a prudent question, as the head of the order is sitting at the small reading table inside the room, his head in his hands.

“…Master…?”

Then, quietly: “Celibrate. It says celiBRATE.”

[the-venereal-bede-deactivated20]

the most historically accurate monk joke