đ i keep a masterlist of all my works //link below// so you can catch every little story without hunting. requests, ideas, or just random chaos? my ask is always open âĄ
âïž files marked: tender âËâżđđâË
đ§Ÿ. asks are open for ideas, thoughts & chaos. fic requests are selective - - i write what my heart tells me <3
lee heeseung, i always knew the stage was meant to be yours, and iâm so happy youâre doing it on your own terms. i canât wait for the day i see your bright smile again, in the spotlight, doing what you love most
thank you for every memory, every laugh, every smile and every piece of music you gave to engeneâiâm so excited to see where your career will take you, my bambi đ€ i love you always
genre; church au, opposites attract, forbidden crush, slow burn, smut with fluff
warnings; religious themes, purity culture pressure, smoking, alcohol consumption, power imbalance, explicit sexual content, loss of virginity, heavy sexual tension, guilt + yearning, softness, and maximum fluff
authors note: ahhhh my luvly enha stans!!! i am so happy to see so many enjoying this series but i am sad to say this may be the last.... <3
read pt1 here , pt2 here pt 3 here , playlist link is here âĄ
The city did not wake up with the ringing of bells.
In Hillcrest, time was measured by the tolling of the clock tower at the center of townâa heavy, metallic reminder of duties, chores, and the constant, ticking countdown to the next service. But in the city, time was a fluid, living thing. It was the rhythmic thrum-thud of the subway beneath the street, the distant hiss of a busâs air brakes, and the muffled shouting of vendors three stories below your window.
You lay in the center of the oversized bed, your eyes tracing the patterns of light on the ceiling. It had been exactly three hundred and sixty-five days since you climbed onto the back of a black motorcycle and let the wind whip the past right out of your lungs.
A year.
A lifetime.
Beside you, the mattress shifted.
Heeseung didnât wake up all at once. He surfaced from sleep like a diver coming up for airâslow, deliberate, and focused. Long before his eyes opened, his hand was moving across the sheets, searching for you. It was a reflex now, a muscle memory born of a year spent making sure you hadn't disappeared into the night. When his fingers finally brushed against your hip, his entire body seemed to exhale.
"Still here," he rasped, his voice thick and heavy with sleep.
He pulled you backward, tucking your body into the curve of his. Heeseung was and still is like a furnace, his skin radiating a heat that made the morning chill of the apartment vanish. This was your favorite version of himâthe version the world never saw. The man at work was sharp, professional, and intimidatingly talented with a wrench and a welding torch. But the man in this bed was soft edges and quiet sighs.
He buried his face in the crook of your neck, his nose cold against your skin, making you shiver. "You're thinking too loud again, my saint. I can feel it."
"I was just thinking about the bells," you whispered, turning in his arms so you could look at him.
Heeseungâs eyes fluttered open. A year of city life had changed the map of his face. The dark circles of exhaustion that had haunted him in Hillcrest were gone, replaced by the faint crinkles at the corners of his eyes from laughing at your terrible jokes.
But that lookâthe one that made you feel like the most precious thing in existenceâremained unchanged.
"No bells here," he murmured, his thumb tracing the line of your lower lip. "Just me. Just us."
He leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a slow, exploratory kiss that tasted like mint and lingering dreams. It wasn't the frantic, desperate kiss of a runaway; it was the settled, confident kiss of a man who knew he had forever.
Heeseung pulled back just an inch, his forehead resting against yours. "I have to get to the shop early today. That vintage Ducati is giving me hell, and the client is coming in at noon."
"Go then," you teased, running your hands down his toned forearms. "The Ducati needs you."
"The Ducati can wait five minutes," he growled playfully, pinning your wrists to the pillow and hovering over you. "I haven't performed my morning devotions yet."
This was his favorite way to tease youâusing the language of your old life to describe the worship of your new one. He began to trail kisses down your throat, his stubble grazing your collarbone in a way that made your breath hitch. He spent ten minutes just adoring you, his hands knowing your body better than you can ever, slow and steady with a reverence that felt more sacred than any prayer.
Eventually, the reality of the day pulled him away. You watched him move through the apartment, a domestic ballet you never grew tired of. He moved with a grace that shouldn't belong to a man of his size, pulling on a pair of oil-stained jeans and a simple black t-shirt. He didn't look like a delinquent your town shunned anymore, but he didn't look like a perfect one either. He looked like a man who had found his purpose.
He stopped by the door, his leather jacket slung over his shoulder, looking back at you as you sat up in bed, the sheets pooled around your waist.
"Studio today?" he asked.
"Yeah. Iâm finishing the mix, I think itâs the one, Heeseung. I think itâs the song that changes everything."
He smiledâa wide, genuine grin that made your heart skip. "It already changed everything for me the first time I heard you hum it. The rest of the world is just catching up."
He blew you a kiss and disappeared out the door, the sound of his boots echoing down the hallway.
You sat in the silence of the apartment, the smell of his cologneâsandalwood and expensive motor oilâlingering in the air. You walked over to the window and looked out at the city. It was a sprawling, chaotic mess of glass and steel, and you loved every inch of it.
But as you reached for your coffee mug, your eyes landed on the small, wooden calendar on the counter. You froze.
The date was circled in red.
You were eight days late...
The silence of the apartment suddenly felt heavy, suffocating. I can't be pregnant can I? We did everything right, I was on the pill...The thoughts wasn't just a possibility; it was a ghost that had been haunting the edges of your happiness for a week. Your hand went instinctively to your stomach, and for a moment, the skyscrapers outside seemed to tilt.
You thought of your motherâs faceâthe way she would look if she knew. You thought of the churches in Hillcrest and the shame that was supposed to follow a girl like you. But then, you thought of Heeseungâs handsâhow they looked when they were building something from nothingâand the fear began to settle into something else.
Something that felt like the beginning of a whole new chapter.
The studio was a sanctuary of soundproof foam and expensive glass, a vacuum where the rest of the world ceased to exist. You sat behind the massive mixing console, the glowing LEDs of the levels dancing in the reflection of your eyes like tiny, digital stars.
This was your altar nowâa place of knobs, faders, and frequencies. You were no longer the girl who sang hymns in a practiced, breathy soprano; you were a producer, a creator, a woman who knew exactly how to manipulate sound to make people feel the things they were too afraid to say.
But today, the music wouldn't settle. All you could think about was what lies in you. Could it be?
You pulled up the vocal track for your song and as your own voice filled the monitorsâlow, smoky, and heavy with longingâthe sterile air of the studio seemed to thicken. You closed your eyes, and suddenly, the cool plastic of the faders beneath your fingers turned into the heat of Heeseungâs skin.
The memory hit you with the force of a physical blow.
It had happened only a week ago. Yet the memories linger.
It was the week you couldn't forgetâthe looming deadline of your EP, the unspoken tension of memories, the weight of your parents' silent phone numbers. You had come home to find Heeseung in the kitchen, still covered in a fine layer of metal dust, his hair damp from a quick rinse in the sink. He had looked at you, really looked at you, and seen the fraying edges of your composure.
"You're vibrating, little saint," heâd murmured, stepping into your space.
"It's nothing Hee-," you had snapped, the words coming out more jagged than you intended. "I'm sorry, I think I'm just tired. I keep thinking of what happened, how i was being handled like I'm a porcelain doll. Iâm tired of everyoneâeven youâthinking I need to be protected."
The look he gave you then wasn't one of softness. It was a dark, challenging glint that made your pulse erratic. "Is that what you think I'm doing? Protecting you?"
He had moved then, fast and certain, backing you against the kitchen counter. He didn't kiss you with the usual slow devotion. He had gripped your hips, his fingers digging into your flesh, and hoisted you up onto the marble. The cold stone against your thighs was a shock, but the heat of him between your legs was the only thing that mattered.
âShow me then,â he had challenged against your mouth. âShow me you arenât fragile.â
His response was a low, animalistic growl that vibrated against your chest. He didn't waste time with tenderness. He pulled you towards the counter and stepped between your spread knees, his heavy denim rubbing against your sensitive skin. He pulled the hem of your dress up to your waist as he hoisted you up. "I love that you always wear a dress for me...always ready for me little saint."
He didn't waste any time and pulled his jeans down along with his boxes. All you could do was looked at him with hungry eyes as he guided his length to your entrance. He was thick, hot, and twitching with a yearâs worth of restrained hunger. When he pushed inside, he did it in one sudden, violent surge that forced a sharp, breathless cry from your lungs. "Ahh! Hee-"
He didn't stop to let you adjust. He began to drive into you with a relentless, mechanical rhythm, his hips snapping forward with a force that made the kitchenware rattle behind you. You were slick, desperate, and loudâso loud the neighbors probably heard the moans and knew you were breaking.
"Is this what you wanted?" he rasped, his eyes dark with a terrifyingly beautiful lust. He reached down, grabbing your thighs and hiking them higher over the counter, opening you up completely to his intrusion. "To feel how much of a sinner I really am?"
"Yes," you sobbed, your head thudding back against the cabinet doors, grabbing onto the counter to hold yourself steady. "Mmmph, more Hee."
Heeseung groaned, a sound of pure, unadulterated surrender to his own darkness. He withdrew almost completely before slamming back home, bottoming out so hard you felt the impact in your very marrow.
"Mine," he had growled, his voice a guttural command as heâd driven into you, his body a heavy, relentless engine of muscle. "Say it. Tell me who you belong to."
"Yours," you had gasped, as your legs slowly moved to lock him tight around his waist to pull him closer. "Only yours."
Then, with a sudden, dizzying strength, he gripped your waist to pull you off the counter and spun you around.
One moment you were facing him; the next, your chest was pressed against the cold marble, your back arched like a bow. Heeseung didn't give you a second to breathe. He draped his heavy body over yours, his chest a furnace against your spine. He reached forward, his large hand tangling in your hair and pulling your head back at a sharp angle.
"Look at yourself," he commanded, his voice a guttural rasp in your ear. He forced you to look at the reflection in the darkened window over the sinkâat your flushed skin, your blown-out pupils, and the way his toned arm looked wrapped around your throat.
He entered you again from behind, the angle deeper, more invasive. He moved with a heartbreaking violence, his cock sliding against your walls with a friction that felt like liquid fire. Every thrust was a claim. Every time he hit your center, your vision blurred with white-hot sparks.
"You aren't a saint," he whispered, his breath hot and damp against your ear as he picked up the pace, his thrusts becoming short, punishing stabs of pleasure. "You're my heartbeat. You're the blood in my veins. And I want you to moan for me."
He reached around, his fingers finding your clitoris and working in tandem with the frantic rhythm of his hips. You were a wreck of sensation, your body vibrating with a climax so intense it felt like your heart might actually stop.
"Ahh...Hee-Heeseung!" you screamed, your fingers clawing at the marble. "I'm cuh-close." "Me too saint, I need to cum in you. With your neck still in his grip, all you could do was let a moan and close your eyes.
He didn't need words to know your answer. He let out a broken, jagged cry, his grip on your hair tightening as he delivered three final, devastating thrusts. You felt the searing, frantic heat of his releaseâthe heavy, pulsing flood of him filling you until you felt like you were overflowing, but that didn't stop him. He kept going, pumping you full until you catches your release. You felt the world spinning, the sweat forming on you, the cold marble, and him. All of him.
With your release he let go of your hair and rubbed his palms down your back, as if soothing the sins he had just created in you. He stayed there, buried deep, his body shaking with the force of his orgasm, his face hidden in the curve of your neck.
A sharp, distorted feedback loop shrieked through the studio monitors, snapping you back to reality.
You stared at the glowing screen, your breath hitching. Your hand went instinctively to your stomach. That night... that desperate, unbridled night... he hadn't used a condom. In the heat of your demand to be "broken," you had both forgotten.
Was that the moment? Was there a tiny life growing inside you right now, built out of a rebellion against a town that would have condemned the very act that created it?
The thought should have terrified you. It should have sent you spiraling back into the shame of Hillcrest. But as you sat there, the echo of your own song vibrating in the room, you felt a strange, fierce sense of pride. If you were carrying his child, it wasn't a "stain" or a "sin." It was the ultimate "fuck you" to every person who told you that you were only valuable as long as you remained untouched.
You reached for your phone, your thumb hovering over Heeseungâs name. You wanted to tell him. You wanted to run to the shop and collapse in his arms. But you also wanted to keep it, just for an hour longer, as a secret between you and the city.
You looked down at the pregnancy test youâd hidden in your bag earlier that morning. It was still in its box, unopened, a tiny plastic oracle that held the power to change the trajectory of your lives forever. If that nightâthat raw, uninhibited night of marble and shadowsâhad created a life, what would it mean? Would you be the woman your mother warned you about, or would you be the woman you finally felt like you were?
You stood up, grabbing your coat. You couldn't stay in the studio. You needed the smell of grease and the sound of an engine. You needed the only man who had ever truly seen the galaxy in your eyes.
The walk to the industrial district was a blur of gray concrete and neon signs, but your mind was a riot of color and heat. Your legs felt heavy, a phantom weight still lingering from the memory of being pinned to that counter, of the way Heeseung had looked at you like you were the only holy thing in a world of scrap metal.
Heeseung's work sat at the end of a cobblestone alley, a converted warehouse with massive glass doors and the smell of burnt coffee and high-octane fuel. It was a cathedral of a different sort. There were no stained-glass windows, only the jagged blue spark of a welding torch in the back; no choir, only the rhythmic clink-clink of a wrench against a chrome engine.
As you pushed open the heavy door, the bell chimedâa low, brassy sound that felt grounded and real.
Heeseung was in the center of the floor, hunched over the vintage Ducati. He was stripped down to a black ribbed tank top that clung to the sweat on his back, his muscles rippling with every turn of the socket wrench. His arms were smeared with grease, the dark ink weaving through his arm with the grime like hidden maps.
He didn't hear you at first. He was focused, his jaw set in that hard line of concentration that always made your stomach flip. This was the man who had traded his reputation for your freedomâa man who worked with his hands to build a life where you never had to be afraid.
"Heeseung," you breathed.
He stiffened instantly. He knew your voice better than his own heartbeat. He stood up, wiping his hands on a rag, and turned toward you. The second his eyes landed on your face, the strong persona evaporated. He dropped the rag, his expression shifting into that intense, protective gaze that only belonged to you.
"Little saint?" he asked, his voice rough. He crossed the floor in three long strides, his boots heavy on the concrete. He stopped just inches from you, smelling of heat, metal, and the sandalwood cologne youâd bought him. "What are you doing here? I thought you had a late session."
He reached out, his hand hesitating for a fraction of a secondâthe grease on his fingers a sharp contrast to your clean, studio-fresh clothesâbefore he gave in and cupped your cheek.
"You look like you've seen a ghost," he whispered, his thumb tracing your lower lip.
You looked up at him, at the boy who had become your sanctuary. You thought of the apartment, the mixing board, and the box in your bag. You thought of the way he had held your wrists on the counter, the raw violence of his love, and the possibility of a life that was half him and half you.
"I think..." your voice caught, and you took a shaky breath. "I think we might have made something more than music the other night, Heeseung."
The silence that followed was heavy, filled only with the ticking of the cooling Ducati engine. Heeseungâs eyes searched yours, moving from your trembling lips to the galaxy in your eyes.
He didn't pull away. He didn't look scared.
Slowly, a look of profound, terrifyingly beautiful realization washed over his face. He leaned down, his forehead thudding against yours, his hands moving to your waist, pulling you so close you could feel the frantic thud of his heart through his tank top.
"Is that right?" he rasped, his voice sounding like it was breaking. "A little saint or a little rebel?"
"I don't know yet," you whispered.
Heeseung let out a low, shaky laugh, burying his face in your hair. He didn't care about the grease or the metal dust; he just held you, his grip so tight it felt like he was trying to fuse your souls together.
"Okay," he murmured into your skin. "Okay. Then we build a bigger life, y/n. I told youâI'm never letting you go back to that quiet room. If there's a third chair at the table, then it's the luckiest chair in the world."
He pulled back, his eyes wet but his smile fierce. He looked at you, not as a fragile doll, but as his partner, his wife-to-be, the woman who had walked through fire to find him.
"Let's go home and find out," he said, reaching for his keys. "Let's go see what our future looks like."
The ride home was different from that first frantic escape from Hillcrest. It felt normal. It felt like you were made to be here. Then, the motorcycle had been a weapon of war, a machine designed to tear a hole through the fabric of your reality. Now, as you sat behind Heeseung, your arms looped around his waist and your hands tucked into the pockets of his leather jacket, the bike felt like a heartbeat. The city blurred into a streak of neon and amber, a thousand lives unfolding in the windows you passed, but yours was the only one that felt real.
When you entered the apartment, the air felt charged, as if the very walls were holding their breath. Heeseung didn't even take off his jacket. He just followed you into the bathroom, the small space suddenly feeling crowded by his presence, his height, and the sheer gravity of his devotion.
You pulled the box from your bag. The cardboard was crumpled, the clinical blue-and-white packaging looking stark against the black marble of the vanityâthe same marble that had felt so cold against your skin only two nights ago.
"I'll wait outside," Heeseung whispered, his voice uncharacteristically small. He reached out, his grease-stained fingers trembling as he brushed a stray lock of hair behind your ear.
"Stay," you said, the word coming out breathless and nervous. "I don't want to do anything without you anymore."
The minutes that followed were the longest of your life. You sat on the edge of the tub, the test resting on the counter like a tiny, plastic judge. Heeseung sat on the floor by your feet, his hand resting against your knees. He didn't say a word, but he kept his hand firmly on you, his thumb rubbing small, soothing circles into your skin.
You looked down at the top of his headâat the dark, messy hair that you had pulled so desperately during the heat of his release. The angst of the unknown was a physical pressure in your chest, a humming wire that threatened to snap. You thought of what you used to be, the one who would have seen this as the ultimate tragedy. Then you looked at the man on the floor, the one who had made you feel like a queen in a motel room, and you realized that there was no version of this story where you weren't okay.
"Time's up," you whispered.
Heeseung sat up, his jaw tight, his eyes searching yours for permission. You reached out together, four hands hovering over the small window of the test.
Two lines.
Pink, bold, and unapologetic.
The silence in the room was absolute. You felt the air leave your lungs in a long, shaky exhale. A life. A tiny, miraculous intersection of a rebel and a saint.
Heeseung didn't move for a long time. He just stared at the two lines as if he were trying to memorize their exact shade. Then, slowly, he looked up at you. His eyes were swimming, the tough-guy facade finally, completely shattered. He didn't say anything; he just leaned forward and buried his face in your hair holding you into a tight embrace, his shoulders shaking with silent, heaving sobs.
You ran your hands through his hair, your own tears falling hot and fast onto his neck. "Heeseung..."
"I'm going to be a father," he choked out, the words muffled by your hair. He pulled back, his face a mess of tears and grease, but his smile was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. "Iâm going to be a father to a child who will never, ever have to wonder if theyâre loved. Iâm going to give them the world, y/n. I'm going to give you the world."
"I know..."
He stood up, lifting you off your feet and spinning you in the small bathroom, his laughter echoing off the tiles. It was a sound of pure, unbridled victory.
In Heeseungâs world, beauty had always been something jagged. It was the blue spit of a welding torch in a dark garage; it was the way rain looked on black asphalt under a flickering streetlamp; it was the roar of an engine that drowned out the thoughts he didn't want to have. He had lived his life in the shadows of Hillcrest, a wolf prowling the edges of a sheepfold, convinced that he was made of nothing but soot and bad intentions.
Then he saw her.
Standing on the rooftop, Heeseung felt the wind pull at his tie, but he didn't move. He couldn't. The city skyline behind him was a billion-dollar backdrop of glass and steel, but his vision was a tunnel, narrowed down to the woman walking toward him.
To the world, she was a rising producer, a voice that captured the soul of the city. To the people in Hillcrest, she was a fallen daughter, a name whispered in hushed, judgmental tones over Sunday potlucks. But to him?
She was his gravity.
As she moved across the gravel roof, the ivory silk of her dress rippling like water against her skin, Heeseung felt a familiar ache in his chestâa crushing, beautiful weight. Her silhouette was changing, the slight, precious curve of her stomach a secret they carried between them, a living testament to that night on the kitchen counter when they had stopped being two people and started being a destiny.
He watched the way the setting sun caught the galaxy in her eyes, and he felt a surge of protectiveness so fierce it nearly brought him to his knees. He had spent his youth breaking thingsârules, hearts, his own knuckles. Now, all he wanted to do was build. He wanted to build walls high enough to keep the world out and a roof strong enough to hold her up.
When she finally reached him, taking his calloused, grease-stained hands in her soft ones, the air seemed to leave the roof.
"You look..." Heeseung started, his voice cracking. He swallowed hard, the tough-guy exterior heâd spent a decade perfecting dissolving into nothing. "You look like the only thing thatâs ever been true in my life."
He didn't need a priest to tell him this was sacred. He didn't need a choir to tell him this was a hymn. Every time he looked at her, he was at prayer.
"I spent nineteen years thinking I was a ghost," he whispered, stepping closer until their foreheads pressed together. The scent of herâvanilla and expensive studio inkâfilled his senses. "I thought I was just passing through, leaving a trail of wreckage behind me. But you looked at me and you saw a man. You saw a husband. You saw a father."
He slid the gold band onto her finger. He had forged it himself, melting down a piece of scrap gold and hammering it until it was perfect, just like he had tried to hammer his own life into a shape worthy of her.
"Iâm never going to be the 'good boy' your father wanted for you," Heeseung murmured, his thumb brushing a stray tear from her cheek. "Iâm always going to have oil under my fingernails and a temper that runs too hot. But I will spend every breath I have making sure you never feel that weight on your shoulders again. I will carry the world so you can just...just be you."
He leaned down, his lips brushing hers with a reverence that made his heart stutter.
"You're my saint, y/n. Not because youâre perfect, but because youâre mine. And thatâs the only heaven Iâm ever going to believe in."
As he pulled her into his arms, the city lights flickering on like a thousand candles lit just for them, Heeseung finally let go of the boy from Hillcrest.
He wasn't running anymore.
He was home...
:ïŸâ§:.âœËïœĄïœ„ïŸâ§:.: okay luvlies, this is it! :ïŸâ§:.âœËïœĄïœ„ïŸâ§:.:
genre; church au, opposites attract, forbidden crush, slow burn, smut with fluff
warnings; religious themes, purity culture pressure, smoking, alcohol consumption, power imbalance, explicit sexual content, loss of virginity, heavy sexual tension, guilt + yearning, softness, and maximum fluff ahhhh
authors note; i am so glad you all are enjoying this series cant put into words how my sad late nights are now up enjoying all you luvlies presence <3
read pt1 here and pt2 here playlist link is here âĄ
files marked: tender
The wind was a violent hand trying to pull you back toward the steeple, but you only gripped Heeseung tighter, your bruised cheek pressed against the rough, salt-scented leather of his jacket. With every mile that blurred the county lines, the suffocating scent of lilies and church floor-wax was replaced by the raw, metallic tang of rain and asphalt, a mechanical baptism that shredded your "good girl" persona into a thousand pieces. Behind him, you werenât just a passenger; you were a ghost finally finding its body, the vibration of the engine a new kind of prayer that drowned out your fatherâs voice and promised that the only heaven worth finding was currently shifting gears beneath you.
The roar of the motorcycle engine had been the only heartbeat youâd known for the last hour. It was a violent, mechanical scream that shredded the silence of the county lines, carrying you further and further away from the white-steepled shadow of Hillcrest. Behind you, the life you had known was a burning wreck; ahead of you, there was only the black asphalt and the broad, leather-clad back of the only person who had ever seen the real you.
When Heeseung finally slowed, the world seemed to tilt. The neon sign of the Blue Spruce Motel flickered in the downpour, a jagged trident of electric sapphire that cast long, distorted shadows across the wet gravel. The rain was a deluge now, a literal washing away of the sins the town would surely accuse you of by morning.
Heeseung kicked the stand down. The silence that followed the engineâs death was deafening. It was the sound of a vacuumâthe space where your old life used to be.
"Weâre here," he rasped. His voice was raw, shredded by the wind.
He didn't wait for you to move. He dismounted and reached for you, his hands steady as they gripped your waist to hoist you off the tank. Your legs hit the ground and immediately buckled; the adrenaline that had kept you upright during the confrontation with your father had evaporated, leaving only a hollow, bone-deep exhaustion.
Heeseung caught you. He pulled you against his chest, his heart hammering a frantic rhythm against your ear. For a moment, you both just stood there in the rain, two castaways clinging to each other in the dark.
"Iâve got you," he whispered, his breath hot against your temple. "Iâm not letting go."
The walk to Room 1015 (get it?) was a blur. The key turned in the lock with a heavy, metallic thudâthe sound of a door closing on the world. Heeseung flicked the light switch, but the overhead fluorescent hummed too brightly, too harshly. He immediately turned it off, reaching instead for the small bedside lamp. The room bathed in a low, amber glow, smelling of lemon-scented floor wax and the faint, lingering ghost of a thousand travelers.
Heeseung turned to you. You were a wreck. Your blue floral dressâthe one meant to signal your "dependability"âwas soaked through, the lace clinging to your skin like a shroud. Your hair was plastered to your cheeks, and the red mark where your mother had struck you stood out like a brand in the soft light.
"Take it off," Heeseung said.
You flinched. The command was sharp, but his eyes were softâwide and filled with a terrifyingly deep concern.
"The dress, y/n. It's cold. You're going to get a cold if you stay in it." He walked over to the bed, pulling back the thin, starch-scented comforter. "I'm going to get the heater started. Just... get out of the wet clothes."
With trembling fingers, you reached for the zipper. Your body still stunned from the recent events. It stuck for a moment, and a sob caught in your throat. This was the moment of no return. In the eyes of Hillcrest, you were already fallen. But in this room, you felt small. You felt like the twelve-year-old girl who used to hide in the choir loft just to watch Heeseung skip Sunday school.
Heeseung was at the wall unit, the heater beginning to rattle and hiss with the scent of dust. He turned, seeing your struggle. He didn't say a word. He crossed the room, his boots heavy on the thin carpet, and stopped behind you.
His hands were warmâsearingly soâas they replaced your trembling ones. He moved the zipper slowly, the sound of the teeth parting felt like the unmaking of your entire identity. As the fabric loosened, he didn't pull it away. He leaned down, his forehead resting against the space between your shoulder blades.
"I know," he murmured, his voice vibrating through your spine. "I know it hurts. Let it fall. Let it all go."
The dress pooled at your feet. You stood there in your simple white cotton slip, looking fragile and pale. Heeseung reached for a towel from the bathroom, wrapping it around your shoulders and rubbing your arms with a vigor that brought the blood back to the surface. He wasn't the "bad boy" right now; he was a sanctuary.
"Drink this," Heeseung commanded softly, handing you a plastic cup from the bathroom. It contained a finger of amber whiskey heâd kept in his saddlebag.
You took a sip, coughing as the liquid fire scorched your throat. But as it settled in your stomach, the tremors began to subside. Heeseung sat beside you on the edge of the bed, his shoulder pressing into yours. He had removed his leather jacket, revealing the lean, toned muscle of his arms and his veins that skipped across his skin like secrets.
"What now?" you whispered, staring at the flickering TV across the room.
"Now, we breathe," he said. He took the cup from you and set it on the nightstand. He turned to face you, his hand reaching out to trace the red handprint on your cheek. His expression darkened, a flash of that murderous rage from the hallway returning to his eyes. "She shouldn't have touched you. None of them should have."
Hearing those words, the jagged storm in Heeseungâs eyes finally broke. His gaze softened into something so tender it was almost unbearable to look at. He looked at you with a profound, aching sadness, wondering how anyoneâespecially the people who were supposed to love youâcould make his little saint feel like this.
He could see the phantom weight still pulling at your frame, the invisible yoke youâd carried since you were old enough to sit in a church. It killed him to realize that you had been conditioned to believe that the entire burden on your shoulders was meant to be placed thereâthat your crushing guilt was a gift from God and your silence was your only virtue.
"It was never meant to be a burden to carry, y/n," he whispered, his voice cracking with a raw, protective heat. He reached out, his large hands cupping your face as if he were trying to hold together the pieces of your soul. "They fed you a lie and called it a blessing. They made you think you were a vessel for their pride, but youâre just a girl. Youâre just my girl."
He leaned forward until your foreheads pressed together, his eyes searching yours with an intensity that demanded you believe him.
"Iâm going to spend every day for the rest of my life taking that weight off of you," he promised, his breath hitching. "One brick at a time. Until you're light enough to fly away from this place and never look back."
Heeseung leaned in closer, his lips ghosting over the bruise. It was a kiss of healing, a soft, lingering pressure that felt more religious than any blessing your father had ever given.
"I've spent ten years wanting to take you away from that house," he admitted, his voice dropping to a low, gravelly confession. "I used to sit on my bike at the edge of the woods and watch your window. Iâd watch you turn the light off, and Iâd imagine what Iâd say if I ever had the guts to climb up to your window."
"Why didn't you?"
"Because I didn't want to be the one to ruin your life," he said, a sad smile playing on his lips. "I thought if I stayed away, youâd have the perfect future. The scholarship, the church, the 'good' man. I didn't realize that 'perfect' was a slow death for you."
He moved his hand from your cheek to the back of your neck, his fingers tangling in your damp hair. The tension in the room shifted. The sweetness of the caretaking began to melt into the a deeper meaning of the night.
"I don't want to be 'good' anymore, Heeseung," you whispered, leaning into his touch. "I want to be yours."
Heeseungâs kept his gaze on you, but his eyes didn't just look at you; they studied you with the intensity of a man looking at a miracle he wasn't sure he was allowed to keep. His gaze traveled slowly, tracing the path of your beautiful, perched lipsâparted slightly as you caught your breathâdown to the soft slope of your button nose. He mapped the perfect, delicate arch in your brows and watched the way your lashes landed beautifully with every flutter, like the wings of a moth drawn to a flame he was terrified would burn you.
And your eyes. Oh, your eyes. To him, they were like a galaxyâvast, swirling with untapped dreams and hidden starlight, a universe of depth that your father had tried to dim with dusty scriptures. He saw the flicker of the neon blue motel sign reflected in your pupils, and it looked like a new kind of dawn.
"You have no idea," he rasped, pushing a strand of your hair back. His voice sounding like it had been dragged over gravel and honey. "You have no idea what it does to me, hearing you say that. Youâve spent your whole life being someone you're not for people who didn't deserve your light. But being mine? Thatâs not a chore, y/n. That's my fantasy."
He reached out, his thumb tracing the curve of your lower lip, pulling it down just enough to see the pink of your inner mouth. He looked at you like you were the most fragile thing in the world, yet the only thing strong enough to break him.
"If you're mine," he whispered, his face inches from yours, "I don't just take the 'good' parts. I take the anger, and the fear, and the girl who wants to scream at the sky. I take all of it. Do you understand?"
"I want you to take all of it," you breathed, your hands finally reaching up to grip the collar of his shirt, pulling him into the final, narrow space between you.
The air in the room was electric, a heavy, golden silence that felt more sacred than any cathedral. He looked at you one last timeâat the galaxy in your eyesâand then he leaned in to claim the girl who was finally, beautifully, done with being a saint.
Heeseung took his time with you. He wanted to show his little saint the beauty of loveânot the transactional, conditional version sheâd been taught behind stained glass, but a love that was patient, terrifyingly kind, and utterly unconditional. He moved as if he were handling something priceless that had been kept in the dark for far too long, his hands trembling slightly as they glided over your skin.
He wanted to erase every cold lecture and every judging look with the heat of his skin. Every time you flinched or looked away, he would gently catch your chin, drawing your gaze back to his. He wasnât just taking your body; he was reclaiming your spirit from the hands of people who never understood its value.
He watched the way the amber lamp-light danced across your collarbone, his breathing hitching as you let out a soft, hesitant sigh. He leaned down, his nose brushing against yours, his pupils dilating until his eyes were twin pools of ink. He didn't rush. He moved with a heartbreaking slowness, as if he were savoring the reality that you were finally, truly thereânot a dream he was having in the back of a church, not a memory he was chasing on a highway, but a living, breathing saint in his arms.
"You're shaking," he whispered against your lips, his voice thick with a protective, aching need. "Itâs okay to be scared, baby. But you're safe now. I've got you. I've got the whole world stopped right outside that door just for you."
He began to press slow, deliberate kisses along your jawline, trailing down to the sensitive skin of your neck where the bruise from your motherâs hand was beginning to fade. He kissed it until you stopped trembling, until your hands moved from his chest to his hair, pulling him closer.
Heeseung let out a low, shaky breath, his heart thudding against your own like a drum. He looked at you one last timeâat the galaxy in your eyes, at the girl who had given up everything for a chance to be herselfâand he realized that he wasn't just loving you; he was worshiping you.
That was all he needed.
He leaned down, his lips meeting yours in a kiss that was slow, deep, and tasted of salt. It wasn't the desperate, jagged kiss of the quarry. This was a vow. He tasted you like you were the only thing that could save him from the dark.
" y/n," he breathed against your mouth. "I want to show you. Not like the study. Not like a secret. I want to love you."
The bed groaned as Heeseung pushed you gently back onto the pillows. The white towel fell away, leaving you exposed in the amber light. He followed you down, his body a heavy, comforting weight above yours.
He moved with a reverence that made your breath hitch. He kissed your collarbone, his tongue tracing the mark heâd left earlier that dayâthe mark that had started the war. He moved lower, his hands mapping the curves of your body with a quiet intensity.
When he reached for the hem of your slip, he paused. "Is this okay? I want this to be the best thing that ever happened to you."
"It already is," you said, pulling him down for another kiss.
Heeseung leaned back, the sudden space between your bodies feeling like a physical ache. You were already mourning the loss of his heat, your skin feeling chilled the second his touch vanished. But as you watched him, the breath died in your throat. He kicked off his boots with a blunt, heavy thud on the motel carpet and unbuckled his belt, his eyes never once leaving yours. Then, he tugged his shirt over his head in one fluid, practiced motion, the fabric whispering as it hit the floor.
Leaving him in the dim-lit glow of the lamp, he looked less like a delinquent and more like a statue carved from shadow and amber light. You felt a sudden, sharp surge of courageâa flush of heat that wasn't born of shame, but of a desperate need to know him. You reached out, your fingers trembling but certain, trailing down his body. You memorized the ridge of his collarbone, the hard line of his chest, and every crease of toned muscle that rippled beneath your touch.
He let out a low, shaky soundâa mixture of a groan and a prayerâas your hands mapped the map of his skin. He was perfectly still, letting you explore him, letting you see the man he had kept hidden from the world. You traced the scars on his knuckles and the edges on his ribs, realizing that for the first time in your life, you weren't looking for a sin to confess. You were looking at a life you finally wanted to live.
"Iâm here," he whispered, his voice vibrating through the tips of your fingers as they rested over his heart. "Iâm all yours, y/n. Every part of me."
The air of the night felt like it was finally giving way to a beautiful, terrifying certainty. Heeseung reached down, his hands finding yours and guiding them back to his neck, pulling you toward him until the heat was restored, tenfold.
As the last of your barriers were removed, the world outside the motel room ceased to exist. There was only the heat of Heeseungâs skin, the smell of rain and whiskey, and the staggering realization that you were finally being loved by the boy you had spent a lifetime yearning for.
He moved between your legs, his hands lacing with yours, pinning them to the pillow. He didn't look like a rebel anymore; he looked like a man who had finally found home.
Heeseung began to descend upon you then, his lips moving with a slow, agonizing devotion that made your heart hammer against your ribs. He started at your forehead, a kiss so soft it felt like a blessing, before moving to the tips of your ears and the hollow of your throat. He kissed you as if you were still the saint on the pedestal, his mouth lingering over every inch of your skin as if he were trying to taste the soul beneath it. He moved to your shoulders, his tongue tracing the curve of your collarbone, and then lower, kissing the soft skin of your stomach with a reverence that brought tears to your eyes.
Heâs worshipping me, you thought, your fingers knotting into the sheets. Heâs treating me like Iâm made of glass, like Iâm still the girl in the white lace dress who needs to be protected. But the "good girl" was gone. The girl who waited for permission, who sat still and took whatever was given to her, had died the moment you stepped onto that motorcycle. Every time his lips left your skin to find a new spot, you felt the cold air rush in, and it was unbearable. You didn't want a blessing; you wanted a fire. You didn't want to be a saint anymore; you wanted to be his.
He paid every attention to your breasts. Learning the curves and how you would react to his lips on them.
"Heeseung," you breathed, your voice a desperate, broken thread in the quiet room. You arched your back, your skin chasing the heat of his mouth, your hands moving from the pillows to his shoulders, pulling him upward. "Please. I don't want to be handled with care. I want... I want all of you. Right now."
You wanted the weight of him to crush the last of the Hillcrest guilt out of your lungs. You wanted to feel the reality of him, the raw, unpolished truth of the boy who had ruined his life to save yours.
Heeseung let out a low, ragged soundâhalfway between a sob and a growlâand finally moved back up your body. He looked down at you, his face flushed and his eyes wild with a love so fierce it was terrifying.
"Okay, my saint. Anything for you," Heeseung cooed, his voice a honeyed rasp that vibrated in the small space between you. He used his knees to gently spread your legs wider, exposing you to the amber glow of the lamp. He stayed there for a heartbeat, just looking at you, his thumb tracing the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. Slowly reaching to your panties. Rubbing your clit through it. "Already so wet for me? Youâve been wanting this as long as I have, haven't you?"
You couldn't even find the words to answer; you just let out a choked, needy sound, your head tossing back against the pillows.
He didn't make you wait. He reached out, his long, slender fingers dipping into the heat of you. He moved with a devastating, practiced slowness at first, his eyes fixed on your face to catch every flicker of emotion.
"Mmm- Hee..feels so...good" Your words coming out more like whines than moans.
You felt the breath leave your lungs as he began to move inside you, his thumb finding the small, hidden center of your clit. The pleasure building and his fingers worked with a rhythmic, maddening precision.
"Thatâs it, my little one. Moan for me, say my name" he whispered, leaning forward to kiss the pulse point in your neck as his fingers worked deeper, faster. "Youâre so soft. So perfect. You were made for this. You were made for me." he pants by your ear.
The sensation was a rising tide, a golden pressure building behind your eyes until you were sobbing his name into the quiet room. You felt yourself about to come apart. Heeseung didn't stop; he stayed with you through every tremor, his touch never wavering, his eyes filled with a terrifyingly pure pride.
Only when your high was coming to a close, Heeseung pulled out his fingers. The loss of him making you whine in protest. But he was already moving, his body hovering over yours, his heat returning in a flood.
"Look at me," he commanded, his voice a low, beautiful whine.
You kept your eyes, meeting his. He guided his dick to your entrance, poking at the wetness. Your hands clenched at the sheets, grounding yourself for what's about the happen. When he entered you, it wasn't a "shattering" or a "ruining." It was a completion. You let out a soft, broken cry, and Heeseung immediately stilled, his forehead resting against yours.
"You okay? I'm sorry, Iâ"
"No," you gasped, your fingers tightening the sheets. "Don't stop. Please, Heeseung. Don't stop."
He began to move, a slow, rhythmic grind that forced every thought of Hillcrest out of your head. He worshipped you. He moved with a tenderness that brought tears to your eyes, his mouth finding yours every time a moan escaped your throat.
"My good girl," he muttered, the words a rhythmic chant. "My little saint. You're so perfect. You're so beautiful for me."
The praises of being a good girl felt different now. It wasn't about being dependable for the church; it was about being everything to him. You arched your back, your body seeking the heat he was offering. The pleasure was a white-hot light, expanding behind your eyelids until the room was gone, the past was gone, and there was only the "now."
Heeseung held you close, his body acting as both your anchor and your storm. His arms were wrapped iron-tight around your waist, keeping you steady against the rhythmic, driving force of his hips, keeping you safe even as he took you further away from the shore than you had ever been. His other hand was splayed by your head, his long, slender fingers stroking your damp hair with a desperate, shaky tenderness. He wanted to hold youâto keep you like this forever, suspended in this amber-lit room where the only law was the friction of your skin and the salt of your shared breath.
"I have you," he gasped, his voice breaking as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. "Iâve got you, baby."
The romance was in the way he looked at you, but the reality was raw and unyielding. Every time he pushed deep inside you, the wet, sliding sound of his cock filling you to the limit echoed in the quiet roomâa carnal rhythm that shattered the last of your inhibitions. You could feel every ridge of him, the sheer size of him stretching you open, claiming space that had been empty for nineteen years. He wasn't just moving; he was bottoming out against your pussy, his balls grinding against you with a heavy, bruising heat that made you cry out in a mix of pleasure and beautiful, aching pressure.
You wrapped your legs high around his waist, your heels digging into the small of his back to pull him even deeper, wanting to feel the full, thick weight of him. "Ugh...nnngh" Heeseung let out a ragged, guttural moan, his pace becoming more frantic as the end drew near. He began to thrust with a desperate, driving intensity, the bed creaking rhythmically as he hammered into you. You were so slick, so perfectly prepared for him, that every slide was a velvet friction that sent white-hot sparks behind your eyelids.
"You're so tight, y/n" he whined, his teeth grazing your shoulder as his hips snapped forward, burying himself to the hilt. "You're taking all of me... so good for me... my perfect, sweet girl..."
The amount of his praise was drowned out by the sheer pleasure. You felt the muscles of his back ripple and cord under your fingernails as you scratched at his skin, needing to brand him as much as he was branding you. He was slick with sweat, his chest sliding against your breasts, the friction of your bodies creating a heat that felt like it would set the motel room on fire.
He moved his hand from your hair to your jaw, forcing you to look at him as he delivered several deep, punishing thrusts that hit exactly where you needed them to. Your eyes rolling back, slowly seeing the stars. "Ahhhh.....I'm so close Hee." Your internal muscles clamped around him in a desperate, pulsing rhythm, and you felt the familiar pressure of a second climax buildingâone that felt like a tidal wave.
"Heeseung," you sobbed, your head tossing back further, your body arching like a bow string about to snap.
"Look at me," he rasped, his eyes blown wide, twin pools of ink reflecting your total surrender. "Cum for me my love. I want to see your cum cover my dick. Give me everything."
As your walls contracted around him in the violent, rhythmic spasms of a peak, you swear you've never felt this good. Heeseung fucked you through your high, feeling every inch of you tightening around him. He couldn't hold on any longer. He saw how your eyes fluttered. Each thrust paired with a moan that Heeseung wish he could've recorded it into his brain.
Heeseung came with a soft, beautiful groan, his body shuddering against yours. His loud, broken cryâthe sound of a man finally reaching homeâand stiffened. You felt the searing, frantic heat of him as he came deep inside you, his cock pulsing and swelling as he filled you with a hot, heavy flood of his love. He didn't pull back; he stayed buried as deep as he could go, his body shaking with the force of his release, his forehead crashing against yours.
The room fell into a heavy, humid silence, broken only by the sound of your combined, frantic breathing. The "Good Girl" was gone. In her place was a woman who was full of the man she loved, marked by the rain, the road, and the beautiful, explicit truth of their rebellion. His heart beating a frantic code against your chest that only you could translate.
The hours that followed were the quietest of your life. The rain eventually slowed to a rhythmic tapping on the glass, and the heater finally clicked off, leaving the room warm and still.
Heeseung had moved to your side, pulling the blankets up to your chins. He had you tucked into his side, your head on his shoulder, his arm draped possessively over your waist. He was tracing patterns on your skin with his thumb, a mindless, soothing gesture.
"We'll leave at six," he murmured into the dark. "We'll head toward the city. I have a friend who runs a shop thereâhe owes me a favor. He can get us a place above the garage. It won't be much, but it'll be ours."
"I don't need 'much,'" you said, turning your face into the crook of his neck. "I just need you."
Heeseung let out a soft, breathy laugh. "You say that now. Wait until you see the city. Youâre going to see the music schools, the theaters... youâre going to realize how much more there is than just a boy with a bike."
"I won't," you said firmly. "Iâve seen enough to know that they have everything and nothing at the same time. Youâre the only thing thatâs real."
He quieted then, his fingers moving to play with the ends of your hair. "I never told you," he whispered, "but I used to keep the program from your tenth-grade recital in my wallet. I kept it until it fell apart. Iâd look at your name and think... one day."
"One day is today," you whispered.
You spent the rest of the night in a state of stolen glances, deep kisses, and legs tangled together. You talked about the cat youâd get, the songs youâd write, and the way youâd never have to wear a high-collared dress again. Heeseung told you stories of his city exploitsâhalf of which were what you never dreamed ofâand you told him about the secret books youâd hidden under your mattress.
As the first light of dawn began to bleed through the cheap motel curtains, casting a pale violet glow over the room, Heeseung pulled you closer.
"Go to sleep for a bit, baby," he murmured, his eyes heavy with exhaustion and love. "I'll watch the door. I've got you."
You closed your eyes, the scent of himâsmoke, rain, and homeâlulling you into the first peaceful sleep of your life. The fence was gone. The altar was behind you. You had found a new kind of holy, and it was lying right next to you in a thirty-dollar-a-night motel room.
The sun didnât intrude the next morning; it arrived like a guest. It filtered through the gaps in the moth-eaten motel curtains in soft, dusty pillars of gold, dancing across the tangled sheets.
You woke up slowly, the transition from sleep to reality usually a moment of dread in Hillcrest. But today, there was no weight on your chest. There was only the heavy, comforting warmth of Heeseungâs arm draped over your waist.
He was still asleep, his face pressed into the crook of your neck. Without the cocky smirk or the defensive glint in his eyes, he looked younger. His long eyelashes brushed against his cheekbones, and his lips were parted slightly. He looked peacefulâa state you realized he probably rarely accessed in the town that hated him.
You stayed perfectly still, wanting to memorize this. You traced the skin on his forearm with your eyesâthe muscles and misunderstood past that represented every time heâd tried to prove he didn't care. Now, those same arms were your only shelter.
He stirred, a low hum vibrating in his chest. His grip on your waist tightened instinctively before his eyes fluttered open. For a split second, he looked disoriented, but then his gaze landed on you, and his whole face softened.
"Morning, little saint," he rasped, his voice thick with sleep. He leaned in, burying his face in your hair and inhaling deeply. "You're still here. I thought I might have dreamed the whole thing."
"I'm not going anywhere," you whispered, turning in his arms to face him.
He pulled you closer, his legs tangling with yours under the blankets. "You hungry? I saw a diner across the street. I could go get us something."
"Not yet," you murmured, reaching up to run your fingers through the messy dark strands of his hair. "Just stay here for a minute. No bikes, no roads. Just... this."
Heeseung let out a contented sigh, closing his eyes as you massaged his scalp. "I could get used to this. No one shouting at me to move my bike, no one looking at me like I'm a virus." He opened one eye, smirking. "Just my pretty girl playing with my hair."
He spent the next hour just "worshipping" you in the soft morning light. It wasn't sexualâthough the tension was always there, simmering like a low flameâit was domestic. He kissed your knuckles, your forehead, and the tip of your nose. He told you about the time he tried to bake a cake for his mom when he was six and ended up almost burning the kitchen down. You told him about how you used to hide romance novels inside the covers of your books.
"You're a rebel, y/n," he chuckled, kissing the corner of your mouth. "You were just waiting for a partner in crime."
By noon, the motel room was a memory. Heeseung had packed the saddlebags with a practiced efficiency, though he was much gentler when he helped you zip up your ruined dressânow mostly covered by his oversized leather jacket which smelled deliciously of him.
"You look like a biker chick," he teased, adjusting the collar of the jacket so it didn't swallow your chin. "My biker girl."
The ride toward the city was the opposite of the night before. The sky was a brilliant, endless blue, and the air was crisp and clean after the storm. You held onto him, your cheek pressed against the leather of his back, watching the scenery change from the rolling hills of the countryside to the industrial outskirts of the metropolis.
You stopped at a roadside diner that looked like it hadn't been updated since 1970. Inside, the air smelled of maple syrup and burnt coffee. You sat in a red vinyl booth, and for the first time, you didn't look over your shoulder to see who was watching.
Heeseung ordered the biggest stack of pancakes on the menu and watched with a grin as you devoured a plate of eggs and hashbrowns.
"Slow down, baby," he laughed, reaching across the table to wipe a stray bit of syrup from your lip. "The city isn't going anywhere."
"I'm just happy," you said, feeling a blush creep up your neck. "I've never sat in a diner on a Monday morning. I'm usually in the church office filing records."
Heeseungâs expression went soft. He reached across the table, taking your hand in his. "Never again. From now on, your Mondays are whatever you want them to be."
After breakfast, you stood by the bike in the parking lot. Heeseung pulled a cigarette from his pack, but before he lit it, he looked at you.
"Still want to try?" he asked, a playful glint in his eye.
"Maybe just a puff," you conceded.
He lit it, took a drag, and handed it to you. You took a tiny hit, managed not to cough this time, and blew the smoke out into the sunshine. It was bitter and strange, but it felt like a tiny, insignificant victory over your past.
Heeseung took the cigarette back and crushed it out, then pulled you into his arms for a long, lingering kiss right there in front of the truckers and the tourists. He didn't care who saw. He was proud of you.
"Let's go home," he whispered against your lips.
"Home," you repeated. It was a new word, one that didn't mean a house with white pillars and heavy Bibles. It meant a black motorcycle, a leather jacket, and the boy who was brave enough to love a girl who had been taught she was unlovable.
As you climbed back onto the bike and headed toward the skyline shimmering in the distance, you knew that the fluff, the cuddles, and the quiet moments were the real rebellion. The "bad boy" had found his peace, and the "good girl" had finally found her joy.
The first night in the city wasnât spent in a club or at a party; it was spent in a 24-hour grocery store three blocks from the garage apartment. The fluorescent lights flickered overhead, casting a clinical glow on the linoleum, but to you, it felt like an art gallery.
Heeseung pushed the cart with one hand, his other arm hooked firmly around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. He looked wildly out of place among the cereal boxesâhis leather jacket worn, his boots scuffing the floor, his jaw shadowed with a dayâs worth of stubble.
"Pick whatever you want," he muttered, leaning down to kiss your temple. "Anything. If it looks good, itâs yours."
"Heeseung, we don't need three kinds of ice cream," you giggled, looking at the carton of mint chip heâd just tossed in.
"We do," he insisted, his eyes sparkling with a boyish mischief. "Weâre celebrating. Weâre citizens of the world now, little saint. No oneâs checking our grocery list for 'gluttony.'"
You reached for a bunch of yellow tulips near the registerâa small, fragile bit of life. Heeseung didn't even look at the price. He just added them to the cart, right next to his pack of cigarettes and the heavy loaf of bread.
Walking back to the apartment in the cool city air, carrying brown paper bags and swinging your joined hands, felt more like a marriage than any ceremony in your fatherâs sanctuary ever could. It was the beauty of existenceâthe mundane, beautiful reality of choosing someone, every single day, in the most ordinary ways.
Later that night, the apartment was quiet. The bed was just a mattress on the floor, covered in the scratchy blankets from the motel and a few new pillows youâd found, but it felt like a throne.
Heeseung opened the window that led to the fire escape. The sounds of the cityâthe distant sirens, the rhythmic clatter of the subway, the muffled bass of a nearby barâflowed into the room like a new kind of hymn.
He sat on the metal grating, his long legs dangling over the edge, and patted the space beside him. You climbed out, the cool metal biting into your skin through your thin nightgown.
"Look at that," he whispered, pointing toward the skyline. The skyscrapers were needles of light stitching the dark velvet of the sky together. "No trees to hide the stars, but plenty of lights to keep us awake."
You leaned your head on his shoulder, and he draped his arm around you, his fingers tracing the line of your collarbone.
"Are you scared?" he asked, his voice barely audible over the wind.
"A little," you admitted. "But itâs a good scared. Like the feeling before you go on stage. Itâs the feeling of something starting." Heeseung turned to you, his face silhouetted by the city glow. He looked at you with a reverence that was almost painful. "Iâm going to make sure you never regret this. Iâm going to make sure youâre so happy that the memory of Hillcrest feels like a bad dream someone told you once."
He kissed you thenâa slow, deep taste of the future. It was the spark of a thousand quiet nights to come, the promise of coffee in the morning and whispers in the dark.
They rang for the shifts of the factories, for the opening of the cafes, and for the heartbeat of a million strangers who didn't know your name. In the shadow of the brick and the steel, your past had finally stopped looking for heaven in the rafters of a church. Instead, you have found it instead in the rough callouses of a rebelâs hands and the way a leather jacket felt against your bare skin.
The blue floral dress sat in a trash can three states away, a molted skin left behind in the dirt. In its place was a crimson silk, a messy ponytail, and a voice that was beginning to find its own melodyâa song that didn't need a choir to be heard.
Heeseung didn't need a motorcycle to be a hero; he just needed a girl who believed in the man behind the bad intentions. They were runaways, yes. They were sinners, perhaps. But as they sat on a metal fire escape watching the sun bleed into the horizon, they were the only two people in the world who were truly awake.
The shadows of Hillcrest were long, but they couldn't reach this far. The churches were empty of their presence, but the air was full of their laughter.
And as the city lights began to hum, signaling the end of the beginning...
A year from now, she will stand under a different spotlight. A year from now, they will still be in a church but for a different reason. But the story of how they got there? That was written in the salt of a motel room and the silk of a long-awaited surrender.
author's note: hehehe bet you wished there was more at the end huh. jokes aside, keep a lookout for an epilogue <3
genre; church au, opposites attract, forbidden crush, slow burn, smut with fluff
warnings; religious themes, purity culture pressure, power imbalance (bad boy/good girl dynamic), oral sex, blowing, heavy sexual tension, guilt + yearning
authors note; you asked for it! pt 2 up <3
read pt1 here
playlist link is here âĄ
files marked: tender;
The sun didn't rise the next morning; it intruded.
It bled through your white lace curtains in sharp, unforgiving slats of gold, stinging your eyes and forcing you awake. For a split second, you were back at the quarry. You could still feel the cold metal of the motorcycle tank against your thighs and the rough, grounding weight of Heeseungâs hands. But then, the chime of the grandfather clock in the hallway struck seven, and the reality of Sunday morning crashed down on you like a physical weight.
You were back in the cage.
You sat up slowly, your body aching in places you hadn't known existed. Your skin felt sensitized, the silk of your nightgown scratching against your collarbone where Heeseung had left a faint, blossoming bruise. You rushed to your vanity mirror, heart hammering. It was thereâa small, plum-colored mark just above your collarbone. A brand.
âRuin me,â you had whispered. And he did.
A sharp knock at the door made you jump so hard you nearly knocked over your perfume bottles.
"Time to wake up, sunshine," your motherâs voice trilled from the other side. It was her "Public Speaker" voiceâbright, rehearsed, and utterly devoid of room for argument. "The Lees are coming over for a pre-service breakfast in an hour. Your father wants us all in the dining room by eight sharp. Wear the blue floral, dear. It makes you look so dependable."
Dependable. The word felt like a joke.
"I'll be down in a minute, Mom," you called back, your voice sounding raspy and foreign to your own ears.
You scrambled to your closet, pulling out the blue dress. It was a stifling garmentâhigh-necked, long-sleeved, designed to hide everything. Today, you were grateful for it. You spent twenty minutes applying heavy concealer to the mark on your neck, your hands shaking so badly you had to start over twice.
By the time you walked down the stairs, the house already smelled of expensive coffee and your fatherâs heavy cologne. The dining room was a sea of white linen and polished silver. Your father sat at the head of the table, his Bible open next to his plate, his face set in a mask of stoic righteousness.
And then, there they were. The Lees.
Mr. and Mrs. Lee sat to your fatherâs right, looking every bit the pillars of the community. And sitting directly across from your empty chair was Heeseung.
He looked different in the morning light. He had traded the leather jacket for a black button-down shirt, though he had left the top two buttons undone, defying the formality of the room. He looked bored, his eyes fixed on the steam rising from his coffee, until the moment you pulled out your chair.
His gaze snapped to yours.
It wasn't a casual look. It was a heavy, deliberate scan that traveled from your eyes down to the high collar of your dress, searching for the marks he knew heâd left. A slow, almost imperceptible smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. He knew. He knew exactly what you were hiding under that blue floral print.
"Good morning, y/n," Mrs. Lee said, beaming at you. "You look a little tired, dear. Did you stay up late studying?"
You felt the heat rush to your cheeks. "I... I had a bit of trouble sleeping," you managed to say, sliding into your seat.
"The devil finds work for idle minds at night," your father remarked without looking up from his scriptures. "Perhaps we should add a few extra psalms to your evening routine."
Heeseung let out a low, dry cough that sounded suspiciously like a laugh. "I don't think psalms are what she was thinking about, Pastor."
The table went silent. Your father looked up, his eyes narrowing as he fixed Heeseung with a cold stare. Mr. Lee shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
"Heeseung," his father warned, his voice tight.
Heeseung just shrugged, taking a slow sip of his coffee while his eyes stayed locked on yours. "Just saying. It was a restless night for everyone. The moon was bright. Hard to stay inside on a night like that, right, y/n?"
He was playing with fire. He was taunting you in front of the two men who held your entire world in their hands. You felt a bead of sweat roll down your spine.
"The moon was beautiful," you whispered, gripping your fork until your knuckles turned white.
"Enough talk," your mother intervened, her smile tight and professional. "We have a big day ahead. The sanctuary is going to be packed, and we need to show the congregation what a unified, godly family looks like."
The rest of breakfast was a blur of talk about church budgets and upcoming sermons. You couldn't eat. Every time you moved, you felt the phantom sensation of Heeseungâs fingers. Every time you looked up, he was thereâwatching the way you breathed, watching the way you flinched when your father spoke.
As the families rose to head to the church, Heeseung managed to catch you in the narrow hallway. Your parents were already out the front door, and his parents were trailing behind. He leaned in, his shoulder brushing yours as he pinned you against the mahogany panelling. The smell of himâtobacco and that dark, metallic cologneâinstantly transported you back to the quarry.
"Nice dress," he rasped, his voice a low vibration near your ear. "But we both know itâs too much clothes for you."
"Heeseung, stop," you hissed, looking frantically toward the door. "Theyâll see you."
"Let them see," he challenged, his eyes dark and defiant. He reached out, his thumb catching the edge of your high collar, pulling it down just a fraction of an inch to reveal the edge of the concealer. "You missed a spot, little saint."
Before you could pull away, he leaned down, his lips grazing the shell of your ear. "See you in the back row. Try not to moan during the opening prayer."
He stepped back and walked out the door before you could find your breath, leaving you standing in the hallway of your fatherâs house, trembling and utterly terrified of the hour to come.
The Hillcrest Sanctuary was a cathedral of judgment. As the choir began the song, you stood in your usual place, your voice joining the harmony, but your mind was miles away. The benches were packed with people who looked at you as a beacon of purity, a girl who represented everything 'right' with their town.
And then, you saw him.
Heeseung didn't sit with his parents in the front. He stood in the very back, leaning against the stone pillar by the doors, his arms crossed over his chest. He was the only person in the room not holding the book. He was the only person not singing.
Your father stepped to the stage. The sermon was on The Snares of the Flesh.
"There are those among us," your fatherâs voice thundered, echoing off the rafters, "who believe they can walk in the dark and still claim the light. Who believe that their secrets are hidden from the eyes of the Lord."
You felt like the walls were closing in. You kept your eyes fixed on the wooden podium, but you could feel Heeseungâs gaze like a physical touch. He wasn't looking at your father. He was looking at you.
As the sermon grew more intense, your father began to speak about the 'fall of the righteous.' You felt a sudden, sharp pang of guilt, mixed with a terrifying thrill. You looked back, just for a second. Heeseung was watching you, a cynical smirk playing on his lips. He raised his hand, slowly tracing his index finger over his own bottom lipâa direct reference to the way he had tasted you at the quarry.
Your breath hitched. You missed your cue for the choir response. Your mother, sitting in the front bench, cast a sharp, questioning glance over her shoulder. The service felt like an eternity. When the final blessing was given, the congregation began to mingle, a sea of handshakes and forced smiles. You tried to slip away, but a hand caught your elbow.
It wasn't Heeseung. It was your father.
"You were distracted today, y/n," he said, his voice low and dangerous. "Your mother noticed it. The Lees noticed it."
"I'm just tired, Dad," you lied, the words feeling heavier than ever.
"Tiredness is a weakness the enemy exploits," he replied, his grip on your arm tightening. "I want you to spend the afternoon in the study. No phone. No distractions. Just reflection."
He let go of your arm and turned to greet a parishioner, leaving you standing there. As you moved toward the exit, you saw Heeseung watching the exchange from across the room. He didn't look mocking anymore. He looked angry. He watched your father move away, and then his eyes met yours.
He didn't say a word. He just tilted his head toward the side parking lot.
You knew you shouldn't go. You knew you were supposed to go to the study and 'reflect.' But as you looked at the stained glass and the polished wood of the sanctuary, it felt like a tomb. You turned and walked toward the side exit, leaving the 'good girl' behind in the benches.
The gravel of the side parking lot was scorching under the midday sun, the heat waves shimmering over the hoods of the pristine SUVs belonging to the townâs elite. You walked with your head down, the heavy lace of your sleeves itching against your skin. You felt like a criminal escaping a crime scene, every step away from the sanctuary doors feeling like a step closer to a ledge.
Heeseung was waiting by his bike, parked far away from the deacons' designated spots. He was leaning against the brick wall of the education wing, a shadow in the blinding light. As you approached, he pushed off the wall, his eyes scanning your face with a fierce, protective hunger.
"Your old man has a hell of a grip," he rasped, his voice cutting through the distant sound of the congregationâs chatter. "I saw the way he grabbed you. He thinks he owns you because he gave you a name and a prayer book."
"He's just... heâs worried about me," you whispered, though the words felt hollow even to you.
"He's worried about his image," Heeseung corrected, stepping into your space. He smelled like sun-warmed leather and the lingering scent of that morning's coffee. He reached out, his fingers brushing the fabric over your elbow where your father had held you. "He doesn't know you. Not the way I do now."
"Heeseung, I have to go," you said, glancing back at the church. "He told me to go to the study. I have to reflect. I have to be the person they expect me to be."
Heeseung let out a low, dark laugh. "Reflect on what? On how good it felt to scream my name in the dirt? Or on how much you hate that blue dress?" He stepped closer, his shadow swallowing yours. "You aren't going to that study to pray, y/n. Youâre going there to hide. And I'm not going to let you."
"What are you saying?"
"Go home," he commanded, his eyes turning to flint. "Go to your 'reflection.' But don't lock your window. If you're going to be a prisoner, at least have the decency to let the devil in."
The pastorâs study was a room made of mahogany and judgment. It was lined with leather-bound books that smelled of dust and ancient rules. You sat at the heavy desk, a Bible open to the Book of Lamentations, but the words blurred on the page. Your skin felt like it was humming, the memory of the quarry still pulsing in your veins.
The house was silent. Your parents were at a luncheon, leaving you in the care of the 'holy' atmosphere. You looked at the clock. Two in the afternoon. The heat was stifling, the air conditioning doing nothing to cool the fever under your skin.
A faint scratching sound came from the window behind you.
Your heart stopped. You turned slowly. The window was a heavy, double-paned glass that overlooked the back garden. And there, standing on the trellis that led up from the rose bushes, was Heeseung.
He looked like a vision of everything you were supposed to fear. He climbed through the frame with the ease of someone who had done this a hundred times, dropping onto the carpeted floor with a soft thud. He didn't say a word. He just stood there, looking at you in the high-backed chair, surrounded by your fatherâs books.
"You really are a little saint in a cage," he murmured, walking toward the desk. He picked up a heavy glass paperweight, turning it over in his long, slender fingers. "Does he think the walls keep the bad thoughts out? Or does he just want to make sure no one else sees them?"
"You shouldn't be here," you breathed, rising from the chair. "If they come homeâ"
"They won't be home for hours," Heeseung said, setting the paperweight down with a sharp clack. He walked around the desk, backing you up against the wall of books. "And besides, I think we have some 'reflecting' to do together."
He reached out, his hands sliding into your hair, forcing you to look at him. The intensity in his eyes was staggering. "I couldn't stop thinking about it. In that church. Watching you sing those hymns while my spit was still drying on your skin. You were so good, y/n So perfect for everyone else. But you belong to me now."
"Heeseungâ"
"Say it," he rasped, his lips hovering over yours. "Tell me you were thinking about it too. Tell me you want me to finish what we started."
"I- I was," you confessed, the words a broken sob. "I couldn't hear the sermon. I just.. just heard your voice."
Heeseungâs expression shifted from arrogance to something much darker, much more primal. He didn't waste another second. He grabbed the front of your dress, his fingers tangling in the high collar, and with a sudden, forceful tug, he popped the top three buttons.
The sound of the plastic hitting the floor was like a gunshot in the quiet room.
"There," he muttered, his eyes fixed on the mark on your neck. "Now I can see you."
He didn't wait for your shyness to return. He hoisted you up onto your fatherâs mahogany desk, clearing the Bible and the notebooks with a sweep of his arm. The wood was cold against your legs, but Heeseung was a furnace. He stepped between your thighs, his hands gripping your waist with a bruising strength.
"This is where he studies, right?" Heeseung asked, a dark, mocking smirk on his lips. "Where he writes about the sins of the world?"
"Hee- heeseung, please..."
"Please what, baby?" He leaned down, his tongue flicking over the bruise on your neck. "Please stop? Or please show you exactly why Iâm the bad boy theyâre all so afraid of?"
He reached down, his fingers finding the hem of your skirt. He didn't ask this time. He pushed the fabric up to your waist, exposing you to the dim light of the study. He saw that you weren't wearing the lace panties from the night before; you were wearing nothing at all, just as he had left you.
"You're such a good girl," he growled, his voice thick and honey-dark. "My good girl. You listened to me."
He knelt down on the floor, his head disappearing beneath the hem of your dress. You gripped the edge of the desk, your head falling back against the bookshelves. The smell of old paper and tobacco swirled around you as Heeseungâs mouth found you.
He was relentless. He used his tongue like a weapon, tracing the lines of your body with a hunger that felt like it would consume you both. He didn't care about the rules of the house or the sanctity of the room. He was reclaiming you, marking you in the heart of the place that tried to keep you pure.
"Heeseung!" you gasped, your voice echoing off the mahogany walls.
"Shh," he whispered, pulling back for a second to look up at you. His face was flushed, his lips glossy. "Don't want the neighbors to hear the pastorâs daughter finally finding her voice, do we?"
You didn't know what to do but open your legs wider. He hums against your skin and went in closer. You felt his tongue flat against your entrance. Licking up all the juices you have been gathering since the morning. "So sweet for me, my little saint." "Mmmph, Hee- please."
That was all he needed. His little saint wanting more. His dirty little saint wanting nothing but him. He stood up, eyes level with you catching your lips into a deep kiss. Catching you by surprise as he slid two fingers into you, his rhythm faster and more demanding than it had been at the quarry. He was pushing you, testing the limits of your surrender. You leaned back, head falling, knuckles turning white as Heeseung lips fall onto your neck covering your purple marks from yesterday with more. All you could feel was his slender fingers and you can't help but let go of moans escaping your lips. With his left hand holding you in place and his other doing wonders to your pussy, you couldn't help but feel a tight feeling in your stomach.
You felt the orgasm building, a tidal wave of heat that threatened to shatter the silence of the house.
"Do it," he commanded, his fingers curling deep inside you. "Come for me right here on his desk. Show me who you really pray to." It was like he already knew, studied you. Studied you for hours, days, weeks, and years. "Let go baby. Show me how I make you feel."
"Hee...I'm close...ungh."
"Oh my- I'm gunna...Hee..." you whined. You bit down on your finger not wanting anyone, even God, to know how Heeseung has you right now. Propped up on your father's desk with his fingers deep into you, his lips against your skin with the biggest smirk on his face. That was it. His pupils blown, sweat beads forming against his hair, slender fingers disappearing into you...all in your father's study. That was what threw you over the edge.
The world exploded in a blur of gold light and dark shadows. You screamed into his shoulder as the climax hit you, your body spasming against the wood. Heeseung held you through it, his hands anchoring you to the earth while your soul felt like it was finally, truly free.
When it was over, he pulled you down from the desk, holding you against his chest as you both caught your breath. The study felt different now. The books didn't look like judgments anymore; they just looked like paper.
"You're not going back," Heeseung whispered into your hair, his voice fierce. "I don't care what they say. I don't care about the scholarship or the reputation. You're mine, y/n. My little Saint. And I'm taking you with me."
The sounds of your heavy panting filled the room as your chest heaved. Heeseung was looming over you, his eyes dark with a triumphant sort of hunger, waiting for you to shrink back, waiting for you to be the shy girl who apologized for existing.
But something in you had snapped at the quarry. The "good girl" had been buried under the limestone, and the person left behind was tired of being a spectator in her own life.
You looked at the heavy mahogany door, knowing your parents could be back at any moment, and then you looked at Heeseung. You reached out, your fingers trembling not with fear, but with a sudden, desperate resolve. You grabbed the hem of his black button-down, tugging him closer until your chests were brushing.
"Heeseung," you whispered, your voice steadier than it had been all morning. "Stop treating me like a porcelain doll. I don't want to just watch you do things to me."
Heeseungâs eyebrows shot up, a flicker of genuine surprise crossing his sharp features. He let out a low, breathy chuckle. "Oh yeah? And what does the little saint want to do? Tell me and I'll show you all the things you can do to make me fall apart."
"I-I want to..." you said, your face heating up, but you looked away. His fingers grabbed your chin and forced you to look at him. "To what my love." "I want to help you too..."
You pushed yourself off the desk and dropped to your knees on the plush carpet of your fatherâs study, the position feeling both sacrilegious and exactly right. You looked up at him through your lashes, your heart thudding against your ribs like a drum. "I want you to teach me."
Heeseung froze. His hands, which had been reaching to pull you back up, stayed suspended in mid-air. "Teach you what, y/n?"
"How to... how to suck you..." You reached for his belt, your fingers fumbling with the leather. "I want to know how to make you make those noises. The ones you made at the quarry."
Heeseung let out a choked sound, a mix of a groan and a laugh. He stepped back, his legs hitting the edge of the desk. "You have no idea what youâre asking for little one."
"I'm not her right now," you countered, finally getting his belt loose. You gently tugged the waistband of his jeans and boxers down, and his cock slapped against his toned lower abdomen once it was freed. It was already hard, the tip red and dripping, the vein running along the bottom of his shaft pulsing slightly.
Heeseungâs head hit the back of the bookshelf with a soft thud. He squeezed his eyes shut, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the edge of the desk. "God, you're going to be the death of me."
"Wow, Hee-âŠâ You whispered, the sight of him in the dim light of the study making your pulse race. You gently took his cock in your hands. âYou have a really pretty dick.â
You leaned forward and pressed a shy kiss to the tip of it. Heeseung let out a loud, pained moan that made you jump. "Don't... don't be sweet about it," he rasped, his eyes opening to reveal a gaze that was completely unraveled. "I can't help it if I go rough on you..."
You looked up at him, a bit lost. "I don't... I don't know how. Teach me, Heeseung. Tell me what feels good."
His expression softened for a fraction of a second, his "bad boy" mask slipping to show the lovesick boy underneath. He reached down, his fingers tangling in your hair to guide your head forward.
"Start with your tongue," he whispered, his voice thick and strained. "Just like how you kiss me. Flick it over the underside... yeah, right there."
You followed his direction, letting a glob of saliva drip onto his cock. It landed on his tip and then slid down his length, pooling at his balls.
"Ahh...," he choked out, his knees buckling slightly. He sat back on the edge of the desk, his arms giving out as he watched you.
âIs this okay?â You asked, your shyness resonating up towards him, making his dick become even harder. You began to gently jerk your spit into his cock, watching the way the friction made his breath catch.
âS-so good,â he breathed.
You took his tip into your mouth, trying to remember the rhythm. He moanedâtruly moanedâthe sound echoing off the rows of theology books. It was loud and pretty, a sound of pure surrender.
âDonât you dare stop,â he commanded, his hand tightening in your hair, but not to pull you awayâto hold you there. âmy little saint, on her knees hungry for meâ he groaned.
You took him deeper, your throat tightening around his length. He let out a loud moan, his pretty eyelashes fluttering shut. His whole body was shaking and he whimpered again as he subconsciously rolled his hips into your mouth. With his hand in your hair, he slight pushed you down even further. You gagged slightly, and he immediately tensed up, groans, moans, and profanity leaving his mouth.
âI-I- Oh my saint you are killing me! You're going to make me cum, it just felt so gooâ O-ohâŠâ
You pulled his dick out of your mouth with a pop âC-can you cum in my mouth?â You jerked your hand over his tip while you tongued at his base.
âFu-fuck yes my saint. That fââ His head hit the bookshelf again, a couple of prayer books rattling. âThat f-feels so...â
You smiled, playfully tracing your middle finger around his slit to smear his precum around. You looked up at him as you pressed more kisses up his shaft.
âOh my godâŠâ he whined. His eyebrows knit together and his lips stayed parted as he looked down at you. You hummed and spit on his cock again, jerking his tip as he seemed to like so much. âUse your lips my saint...â
He let out something between a whine and a moan as you took him in your mouth again, slowly jerking his base while your tongue worked over his tip.
âOh god,â he whined, his knuckles white from gripping the mahogany desk so hard. âW-wait, gonnaââ
He pulled your hair tighter forcing you down further his dick. Pulling on your hair so that you also make eye-contact with him. "Want me to fill your pretty mouth with my cum?"
You wish you could've nodded but with your head fully in control by Heeseung all you do is moan sending chills down his dick. You felt tears forming in your eyes as you heard your gags around his dick. "Fu-fuck..." He pulled your mouth off of him and you craved the feeling of him. You looked at him with the biggest doe eyes through your lashes, and Heeseung swear that could have made him fuck you right there and then.
Pumping his base with his hand, Heeseung let out the prettiest moan heâd made all night when he came. His hand unleashed your hair and opened your mouth with his thumb on your chin. "Open up for me." You did. Tongue out waiting for his cum like a little saint you are. You could see his eyebrows furrowing, mouth agape wondering how pretty he was in the light. Still pumping his own dick, catching his high, he aligned his dick to your open mouth, keeping the underside of dick on your tongue. He came hard and you swallowed every last drop of cum he pumped into your mouth right there in the center of your father's sanctum.
Once he caught his breath, he looked down at you, his eyes glassy and wide. âOh my saint...you even swallowed? Who knew you had such talents.â
You wiped the corners of your mouth with your thumb, looking up at him with a defiant, satisfied smile. âYou did so good for me, sweetheart. Iâm so proud of you.â he said with a smirk.
He reached down, pulling you in to kiss you. Tasting himself on your tongue in the middle of that study was the ultimate sin, and the ultimate thrill. He looked at you as he stood up, his thumb tracing your jaw.
"You're not the shy girl anymore," he whispered. "You're a goddamn masterpiece."
The silence of the study was thick, a heavy, velvet curtain that had dropped around the two of you. Heeseung was still leaning back against the mahogany desk, his chest heaving, his eyes fixed on you with a look of pure, unadulterated awe. You were still on your knees, the lace of your blue dress bunched around your thighs, the taste of him lingering on your lips like a forbidden sacrament.
For a heartbeat, the world was perfect. The "good girl" was dead, instead a heat of sins radiating through you.
Then, the heavy oak front door of the house groaned open.
The sound was like a gunshot. The rhythmic, confident click-clack of your motherâs heels on the hardwood foyer floor echoed through the house, followed by the deep, resonant murmur of your fatherâs voice. They were home. Two hours early.
"Heeseung," you hissed, the blood draining from your face so fast your head spun.
Heeseung snapped into action with the precision of someone who lived his life on the edge of trouble. He didn't panic; his eyes went sharp, his jaw setting. He reached down, pulling his jeans up and buckling his belt in one fluid motion while you scrambled to your feet, your fingers fumbling fruitlessly with the popped buttons of your dress.
"The window," he whispered, gesturing toward the right.
"The books!" you gasped, looking at the floor. Several leather-bound hymnals and a copy of The Path to Purity were scattered across the Persian rug where youâd swept them off the desk. Your fatherâs Bible lay facedown near Heeseungâs boots.
" y/n? Are you in there, dear?" your motherâs voice called out, getting closer. Her footsteps stopped right outside the heavy study door.
Heeseung didn't have time to make it to the window. He looked at the door, then at the small, narrow alcove behind the floor-to-ceiling bookshelvesâa space meant for a ladder, but just deep enough for a shadow. He dived into it, pressing himself against the cold wood just as the brass handle of the study door turned.
You barely had time to throw yourself into the high-backed leather chair, pulling your cardigan tight over your chest to hide the missing buttons. You grabbed the nearest bookâironically, a text on Moral Fortitudeâand stared at it with wide, unseeing eyes.
The door swung open.
Your father walked in first, his suit jacket already off, his tie loosened. He stopped short, his eyes scanning the room. Your mother followed, her eyes immediately dropping to the floor.
"What on earth happened here?" she asked, her voice sharp with confusion. She stepped forward, picking up the fallen Bible. "The books... y/n, why is the study in such disarray?"
"I... I was looking for a specific reference," you stammered, your voice trembling. You didn't dare look toward the bookshelf where Heeseung was hiding. You could feel his presence, a dark pulse in the corner of the room. "I tripped against the desk. I'm sorry, Dad. I'll clean it up."
Your father didn't move. He walked slowly toward the desk, his eyes fixed on your face. He was a man trained to sniff out guilt, a man who spent his life looking for the cracks in people's souls. He stopped right in front of you, leaning down until he was at eye level.
"You're flushed," he noted, his voice a low, terrifying calm. "And your hair... it's a mess."
"The window was open," you lied, the words tasting like copper. "The wind... it was blowing through."
Your mother walked over to the window, her brow furrowed. "The screen is unlatched. And the roses are crushed." She turned back, her eyes narrowing as they swept over the room. "Thomas, something isn't right."
Your fatherâs gaze shifted from your face to the desk. He reached out, his hand hovering over the mahogany surface. He went still.
Heeseungâs heat was still there. The wood was still warm from where he had pressed you against it. And there, right next to your fatherâs inkwell, was a single, dark drop of moisture that hadn't yet evaporated.
Your father touched it with his index finger. He brought it to his nose, his expression turning from suspicion to a cold, white-hot rage. He knew that smell. It wasn't incense. It wasn't floor wax. It was the smell of the world he tried so hard to keep out of his house.
"Out," he whispered.
"Thomas?" your mother asked, startled.
"Get out of the room, Evelyn," your father commanded, his voice growing in volume until it vibrated in the small space. "And take y/n with you."
"Dad, Iâ"
"OUT!" he roared, slamming his fist onto the desk.
You scrambled out of the chair, your mother grabbing your arm and pulling you toward the door. You glanced back one last time, your heart breaking. Your father wasn't looking at you anymore. He was looking directly at the shadow behind the bookshelf.
He knew.
As the door slammed shut behind you, you heard your fatherâs voice, low and deadly. "You can come out now, Lee. I know you're in there."
The silence that followed was the loudest thing youâd ever heard. Then, the sound of Heeseungâs boots on the carpetâheavy, defiant, and completely unafraid.
"Took you long enough, Pastor," Heeseungâs voice rasped, sounding louder and more dangerous than youâd ever heard it. "I was wondering when youâd stop looking at the books and start looking at whatâs right in front of you."
The hallway was cold, the air-conditioning humming like a distant warning as your motherâs fingers dug into your arm. She was vibrating with a mixture of social panic and maternal fury, her heels clicking a frantic rhythm as she marched you away from the study door.
"What have you done?" she hissed, her voice a jagged whisper. "The deacons, the board, the reputation weâve built for twenty years... if there is a boy in that room, y/nâ"
She stopped abruptly in the middle of the hallway, the harsh overhead light catching the collar of your dress. In your scramble to cover yourself, the fabric had shifted.
"Your dress," she breathed, her face turning a ghostly shade of white. Her hand flew to your chest, pulling the cardigan aside. The popped buttons were gone, leaving the blue floral fabric gaping open.
And there, stark and undeniable against your pale skin, was the mark Heeseung had left. A dark, plum-colored blossom of rebellion right on your collarbone.
Your mother let out a strangled sound, a mix of a sob and a gasp. Her hand moved from your arm to your throat, her thumb grazing the bruise with a clinical kind of horror. "He touched you. That⊠that delinquent. That animal."
"His name is Heeseung, Mom," you said, and for the first time in your life, your voice didn't shake. The shyness was gone, replaced by a cold, hard clarity. "And he didn't do anything I didn't want him to do."
A sharp crack echoed through the hallway.
The slap was so fast you didn't see it coming. Your head snapped to the side, your cheek stinging with the impact of your motherâs ring-laden hand.
"Don't you dare," she whispered, her eyes wide and wet with tears of shame. "Don't you dare say you wanted this. You are a daughter of this church. You are a masterpiece of God. You are nothing without the purity we gave you."
Inside the study, the sound of a heavy chair being overturned thudded against the wall.
Inside the mahogany walls, Heeseung stood his ground. He didn't look like a boy caught in a lie; he looked like a soldier who had finally reached the front lines. Your father stood behind his desk, his breathing heavy, his face a mask of righteous fury.
"Youâve spent your whole life being a stain on your fatherâs name, Heeseung," your father rasped, his hands trembling as they gripped the edge of the desk. "But to come into my home? To defile my daughter in the very place where I prepare the word of God?"
"Defile?" Heeseung laughed, a short, ugly sound that lacked any humor. He stepped forward, invading the Pastorâs personal space. "Is that what you call it when someone finally shows her that sheâs a human being and not a prop for your Sunday morning performance? You donât love her, Thomas. You love the way she makes you look."
"Get out," your father whispered, his voice shaking. "Get out before I call the police. I will have you locked away. I will make sure the Lees disown you."
"They already have," Heeseung countered, his gaze unwavering. "In their hearts, theyâve been done with me for years. But you? You're terrified. Because you know that once she tastes freedom, sheâs never coming back to your cage. You can pray all you want, but you can't pray away the fact that she chose me over you."
Your fatherâs hand shot out, grabbing the heavy glass paperweight from the deskâthe same one Heeseung had toyed with earlier. For a second, it looked like he might actually throw it, might actually break the commandment he preached every week.
Heeseung didn't flinch. He leaned in, his nose inches from the Pastorâs. "Go ahead. Break something. Show me the man behind the sermon."
Your fatherâs chest heaved. Slowly, his fingers loosened, and the paperweight thudded onto the desk. "She will never see you again. I will send her away. I will break her spirit until she begs for forgiveness."
"You can try," Heeseung said, turning toward the door. He paused, looking back over his shoulder with a chillingly calm smirk. "But just so you know? Sheâs a much better student than you think. She learned everything I had to teach her. And she liked it."
The study door swung open, and Heeseung stepped out into the hallway. He saw you immediatelyâstanding there with your motherâs hand still raised, your cheek blossoming with a red handprint, and your dress torn.
His expression went from defiant to murderous in a heartbeat.
He didn't look at your mother. He walked straight to you, his boots heavy on the hardwood. He reached out, his hand cupping your stinging cheek, his thumb grazing the mark your mother had just made.
"Did she do this?" he asked, his voice a low, terrifying growl.
"I'm fine," you whispered, though your eyes were filling with tears.
"Heeseung, leave this house this instant!" your mother shrieked, her voice cracking.
Heeseung ignored her. He looked past you at your father, who was standing in the doorway of the study, looking like a man who had lost his grip on reality.
"I'm taking her," Heeseung said. It wasn't a question. It wasn't a threat. It was a statement of fact.
"You'll do no such thing!" your father roared.
Heeseung turned back to you, his eyes searching yours. The "Bad Intentions" were gone, replaced by a raw, desperate need to protect the only thing that felt real to him.
" y/n," he whispered, his voice cracking for the first time. "Look at me. You stay here, and they'll kill the girl I met at the quarry. They'll bury you under those books and those prayers until there's nothing left. Come with me. Now."
You looked at your mother, whose face was twisted in a mask of social horror. You looked at your father, who looked at you like you were a broken vessel that needed to be discarded.
Then you looked at Heeseung. You saw the dark hair, the leather jacket, the jagged rebellionâand the way he was looking at you like you were the only holy thing he had ever seen.
You didn't say a word. You reached out and took his hand.
Your father let out a sound of pure agony. "If you walk out that door, y/n, you are dead to this family. You are dead to this church. You will have nothing."
You paused at the threshold, the front door open to the humid summer air. You looked back at the house that had been your entire worldâthe white-washed walls, the polished silver, the suffocating silence.
"I already have nothing here," you said softly.
Heeseung pulled you toward his bike, and as you climbed on, wrapping your arms around his waist and pressing your bruised cheek against his back, you felt the engine roar to life. It was the sound of the world ending.
And it was the most beautiful thing you had ever heard...
genre; church au, opposites attract, forbidden crush, slow burn, smut with fluff
warnings; religious themes, purity culture pressure, smoking (cigarettes), alcohol consumption, power imbalance (bad boy/good girl dynamic), oral sex, loss of virginity, heavy sexual tension, guilt + yearning
authors note; this one was heavily inspired by intentions by nikyee and the whole âgood girl / bad boy who shouldnât be near each other but canât stay awayâ trope đ«Ł this fic hurt me a little but also healed me a little. as always, thank you for being here and reading my little brainrot.
playlist link is here if you wanna suffer with me while reading âĄ
files marked: tender
Heeseung is everything your church warned you about â cigarettes on his breath, trouble in his eyes, and a reputation that follows him everywhere.
Youâre everything he shouldnât touch â soft-spoken, well-behaved, and trying so hard to be good. But some temptations feel less like sin and more like fate.
The air in the Hillcrest sanctuary always felt several degrees colder than the humid Sunday mornings outside, as if the thick stone walls and stained glass were designed to trap the purity in and keep the rot out. At nineteen, your life was a meticulously curated gallery of "goodness." You were the daughter of Pastor Thomas, a man whose voice could command a room into a hush with a single syllable, and Mrs. Evelyn, the townâs most polished motivational speaker, whose smile was as sharp and blinding as a diamond.
To the town of Hillcrest, you weren't just a girl; you were a promise. You were the physical manifestation of their valuesâquiet, studious, and draped in soft floral prints that never rose more than an inch above your knees. You were a girl with a "great future," a scholarship waiting for you, and a halo that you sometimes felt was beginning to choke you.
"Check the programs one more time, honey," your mother whispered, her hand resting on your shoulder. Her touch was affectionate, but her grip was firmâa reminder to stand straighter, to smile wider, to be the masterpiece she had spent two decades painting.
"I already did, Mom," you replied softly, your voice barely a ripple in the quiet hall.
"Do it again," she smiled, though her eyes were already scanning the entrance for the townâs elite. "The Lees will be here any minute. You know how your father values their support."
The Lees. The name sent a cold prickle of apprehension down your spine. The Lee family was the mirror image of your ownâat least on paper. Mr. Lee was your fatherâs right hand, the man who funded the churchâs missions, and his wife was your motherâs closest confidante. Growing up, the four parents were inseparable, a powerhouse of morality that governed the townâs social life.
And then there was Heeseung.
You remembered him as the boy with the scraped knees who used to hide in the church rafters with you during choir practice, whispering silly jokes just to try and make you giggle in front of the conductor. Back then, he was all bright eyes and soft laughter. But that was before high school. Before something in him seemed to snap, or perhaps, simply wake up. While you had stayed within the lines, Heeseung had colored his life in shades of charcoal and rebellion.
The heavy oak doors at the back of the sanctuary groaned open, and the atmosphere shifted instantly. It wasn't just the arrival of a family; it was a collision.
Mr. and Mrs. Lee walked in first, radiating the same polished authority as your parents. But trailing several paces behind them, looking like a shadow cast against a sunlit wall, was Heeseung.
He didn't wear the button-downs or the slacks that the other young men wore. He was in a black t-shirt that fit too well across his shoulders, tucked into dark jeans, with a leather jacket thrown over one arm as if he couldn't wait to put it back on and leave. He looked like a bruise on a peachâdark, damaged, and impossible to ignore.
As they approached the front pews, your heart began a frantic, uneven rhythm against your ribs. You kept your eyes down, focusing on the stack of programs in your hands, but you could feel him. He carried the scent of cold air and something metallicâmotorcycle oil and expensive, forbidden cologne.
"Thomas! Evelyn!" Mr. Leeâs voice boomed as the parents began their ritual of handshakes and air-kisses.
You felt your motherâs hand move to the small of your back, nudging you forward. "And look at you," Mrs. Lee cooed, reaching out to squeeze your forearm. "Every time I see you, you look more like a little angel. Doesn't she, Heeseung?"
The silence that followed was heavy. You finally forced yourself to look up.
Heeseung was standing a few feet away, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. He was so much taller than he had been even a year ago. His jawline was a jagged edge, and his hair was dark and messy, falling over eyes that were currently fixed on you with an expression that was anything but "holy."
He didn't smile. He didn't offer a polite greeting. He just looked at youânot at your dress, or your carefully curled hair, but at you. It felt like he was peeling back the layers of your "good girl" persona with a single, bored glance.
"Yeah," he finally rasped. His voice had dropped an octave since the last time youâd dared to speak to him, turning into a low, gravelly vibration that made your stomach flip. "An angel. Real pretty."
The way he said it felt like a taunt. There was no sweetness in it; it was laced with a dark irony, as if he knew that behind the floral print and the shy smiles, there was a girl who was tired of being a masterpiece.
"Heeseung, be polite," his mother chided, though her smile didn't reach her eyes.
Heeseung didn't look at his mother. He didn't break eye contact with you. He shifted his weight, and for a second, you thought he might lean in and say something elseâsomething that would ruin the perfect silence of the church. But instead, he just let out a short, cynical huff of breath and moved past you to the pew, sliding into the far corner as far away from the pulpit as possible.
"Heâs just in a mood," Mrs. Lee whispered to your mother, her voice tight with embarrassment. "The city changed him. Weâre just glad heâs home for the summer."
"Of course," your mother replied smoothly, already transitioning into her speaker persona. "A little discipline and the right environment will bring him back to the fold."
You watched the back of his dark head as he sat down. He didn't look back. He looked like a prisoner waiting for his sentence to be served. You, meanwhile, were left standing there with a stack of programs and a heart that wouldn't stop racing.
You had spent your whole life being shyâtoo quiet to speak up, too hesitant to reach out. You were the girl who stayed in the shadows because you were told the light was where you belonged. But looking at Heeseung, sitting in the back like a storm cloud in a clear sky, you felt a terrifying, magnetic pull.
He wasn't "back in the fold." He was the wolf that had tasted the outside world and realized the fence was just a suggestion. And as the choir began the opening hymn, their voices rising in a perfect, practiced harmony, you realized you weren't listening to the music at all. You were listening to the sound of your own pulse, wondering what it would feel like to finally step out of the frame and into the dark.
The sanctuary was a vacuum of expectations. As the service began, your fatherâs voice boomed from the pulpit, a rhythmic cadence of morality and fire that usually made you feel grounded. Today, it just felt like white noise. You sat in the front row, wedged between your motherâs prim posture and the heavy weight of the Lee family's presence behind you.
Every few minutes, you could feel a prickle of heat on the back of your neck. You knew exactly who it was. Heeseung wasn't looking at the scripture projected on the wall; he was looking at the way your fingers nervously picked at a loose thread on your lace cuff.
When the congregation rose for the final prayer, the shuffling of feet and the rustle of hymnals provided a momentary cover. You stole a glance over your shoulder, a reflex you couldn't suppress. Heeseung was already standing, his leather jacket slung over one shoulder, looking less like a parishioner and more like someone waiting for a getaway car. His eyes caught yoursâdark, unblinking, and filled with a silent, mocking challengeâbefore he turned and slipped out the back doors before the "Amen" could even leave your fatherâs lips.
The air in the lobby afterward was stifling. Your parents were caught in the gravitational pull of the Lees, discussing upcoming charity galas and "troubled youth" initiatives.
"I think I left my shawl in the basement classroom during Sunday school," you lied, the words tasting like copper on your tongue. Lying didn't come easily to you, but the walls of the lobby were closing in.
"Go quickly, dear," your mother said, not even looking away from Mrs. Lee. "We have lunch at the country club in twenty minutes."
You ducked away, moving through the side door that led to the stairs. The church basement was a labyrinth of shadows and the smell of old paper and floor wax. It was where the "good" kids were taught to stay within the lines, but today, it felt like a sanctuary of a different kind.
You reached the bottom of the stairs, your heart hammering against your ribs. The dim yellow light of the hallway flickered. You weren't looking for a shawl. You were looking for air.
"Lying to the Pastor? Thatâs a new look for you."
The voice came from the shadows near the boiler room. You gasped, spinning around to find Heeseung leaning against a stack of folding chairs. He had a cigarette tucked behind his earâa blatant sacrilegeâand his eyes were tracking the frantic rise and fall of your chest.
"I... I really did forget something," you stammered, your voice sounding small and fragile in the vast, empty space.
Heeseung let out a low, dry chuckle, stepping forward into the light. The change in him up close was even more jarring. Up close, he didn't just look like a "bad boy"; he looked exhausted by the performance everyone expected him to play. There was a jaggedness to his energy, a restless tension that made the air between you feel electric.
"Don't bother," he said, stopping just a few feet away. He was tallâtall enough that you had to tilt your head back to meet his gaze. "Iâve been watching you all morning. Youâve been vibrating out of your skin since I walked in. Why are you so scared of me, y/n?"
"I'm not scared," you lied again, though your trembling hands betrayed you. You tucked them behind your back. "We just... we haven't talked in a long time, Heeseung. You changed."
"I grew up," he corrected, his voice dropping into a raspy velvet. He took a step closer, invading that polite bubble of space you always maintained. "I realized that this town is a cage, and your dad is the one holding the keys. And you? Youâre the prize bird everyone likes to look at but nobody wants to let fly."
You felt a surge of heat in your cheeks. "Thatâs not true. I have a future. I have plans."
"You have a script," Heeseung countered. He reached out, his fingers hovering just inches from your cheek before he pulled back, as if testing the invisible barrier between your worlds. "Youâve been playing the 'shy, good girl' for so long you don't even know what you want anymore. Youâre just a collection of your momâs speeches and your dadâs sermons."
The bluntness of his words stung because they were true. You looked at his boots, unable to hold his gaze. "Why are you being so mean?"
"I'm not being mean. I'm being honest. No one else in this building knows how to do that." He leaned down, his face level with yours, his breath smelling of mint and something darker. "You remember when we were ten? We stole the communion wine and hid under the altar? You weren't shy then. You were a little spitfire."
A ghost of a memory surfacedâthe cool, dark space under the heavy velvet cloth, the giggles you smothered with your hands, the way Heeseungâs hand had felt small and warm in yours.
"That was a long time ago," you whispered.
"Itâs still in there," he murmured, his dark eyes searching yours. "Under all that lace and Sunday-best bullshit. You're dying to break something, aren't you?"
Before you could answer, the sound of heavy footsteps echoed from the top of the stairs. Your fatherâs muffled voice called your name.
Panic flared in your chest. If he found you down here, alone in the dark with the "prodigal son" of the Lee family, the scandal would be irreparable.
Heeseung saw the fear in your eyes and smirked, but there was a flicker of something softer in his expressionâa lingering shred of the boy you used to know. He moved with lightning speed, grabbing your wrist and pulling you into the narrow alcove behind the heavy velvet curtains of the stage.
The space was tiny, smelling of dust and old wood. Heeseungâs body was pressed flush against yours, his chest a solid wall of heat that made your head spin. His hand came up, his palm resting flat against the wall beside your head, while his other hand moved to cover your mouthânot roughly, but firmly, a silent command to stay still.
The curtain was the only thing separating you from the light of the hallway. You could hear your fatherâs footsteps grow louder, then stop right in front of the alcove.
" y/n? Are you down here?"
You held your breath, your heart thudding so loudly you were sure he could hear it. You were acutely aware of everything about Heeseung in that moment: the rough texture of his leather jacket against your arms, the way his heart was beating just as fast as yours, and the way his eyes were fixed on your lips, dark and heavy with a sudden, intense hunger.
Your father lingered for what felt like an eternity. "Must have gone out the side," he muttered to himself before his footsteps receded back up the stairs.
The silence that followed was deafening. Heeseung didn't move. His hand stayed over your mouth for a second longer than necessary, his thumb grazing your lower lip in a slow, deliberate motion that sent a jolt of pure fire through your veins.
He pulled his hand back slowly, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that felt like a confession.
"See?" he whispered, his voice a low vibration against your skin. "Youâre a much better liar than they think you are."
He didn't wait for you to find your voice. He backed away, disappearing into the shadows of the basement exit, leaving you standing in the dark, trembling and utterly ruined by the realization that for the first time in your life, you didn't want to be good.
The aftermath of the basement encounter felt like a fever dream that refused to break. You sat through the country club lunch in a trance, nodding when your mother spoke and smiling when the Lees made polite conversation about the summer gala. Across the table, Heeseung was a silent, brooding presence. He didnât look at you once, but he didnât have to; the phantom heat of his hand over your mouth was still burned into your skin.
By the time you retreated to your bedroom that evening, the sun was dipping below the horizon, painting your walls in shades of bruised purple and orange. Your room was a shrine to the girl you were supposed to be: white lace bedding, a desk neat with textbooks, and a framed scripture on the wall that felt like a set of eyes watching your every move.
You changed into a silk nightgownâmodest, pale pink, the kind your mother bought in bulkâand sat at your window, looking out over the manicured lawn toward the woods that bordered the Lee estate.
Thump.
A small pebble bounced off the glass.
Your heart jumped into your throat. You leaned forward, pressing your forehead to the cool pane. Below, standing in the long shadows of the oak trees, was a dark silhouette. The orange cherry of a cigarette glowed in the dark, illuminating a sharp nose and a hooded gaze.
Heeseung.
He gestured with a tilt of his head toward the back porch. He didn't wait to see if youâd follow; he simply turned and disappeared into the trees, knowing you were already caught in his orbit.
You shouldn't go. The "good girl" inside you, the one with the scholarship and the perfect reputation, was screaming. But the girl who had felt the electricity of his skin in the church basement was already pulling on a heavy cardigan and stepping out of her shoes to slip through the hallway in silence.
The grass was damp with dew, shocking your bare feet as you sprinted across the lawn. The woods were thick and smelled of pine and secrets. You found him leaning against his motorcycleâa matte black beast that looked like it belonged in a different worldâparked on the old dirt trail that linked your properties.
"You actually came," he said, the smoke curling around his head like a halo of shadow. He flicked the cigarette away, his eyes scanning you from head to toe, lingering on the way the silk nightgown peeked out from under your cardigan. "Risking a lot for a guy with bad intentions, don't you think?"
"Why are you here, Heeseung?" you asked, your voice trembling despite your attempt to sound firm. "You're going to get us both in trouble. If my father sees youâ"
"Your father is busy preparing his sermon on the virtues of temperance," Heeseung mocked, pushing off the bike and walking toward you. The dirt crunched under his boots, a slow, predatory rhythm. "And my father is busy wishing I was more like the version of me he remembers. Neither of them is looking for us. Not out here."
He stopped just inches away, the heat radiating from him cutting through the night chill. He reached out, his hand sliding under your hair to cup the back of your neck. His skin was rough, calloused, and utterly grounding.
"You've been perfect your whole life, y/n," he whispered, leaning down so his forehead rested against yours. "Doesn't it get exhausting? Always being the prize? Always being the 'little angel'?"
"It's all I know," you breathed, your eyes fluttering shut. The scent of himâleather, tobacco, and something uniquely himâwas intoxicating.
"I can show you something else," he murmured. He moved his hand from your neck to your waist, pulling you flush against him. The contrast was staggeringâyour soft silk against his rugged leather, your innocence against the darkness he wore like armor. "I can show you what itâs like to be yourself when no one is watching. No sermons. No speeches. Just this."
He leaned in, his lips grazing the shell of your ear. "Come with me. Just for an hour. Iâll have you back before the house even knows youâre gone."
"I can't," you whispered, even as your hands reached out to grip the lapels of his jacket. "I'm not like you, Heeseung."
He pulled back just enough to look you in the eyes, a dark, dangerous smirk playing on his lips. "The best girls always make the worst mistakes, sweetheart. Thatâs what makes it fun."
He climbed onto the bike and kicked it to life. The roar of the engine felt like a physical blow, a sound that shattered the quiet sanctity of the night. He reached back, offering you his hand.
"Are you going to stay in the garden?" he asked, his voice barely audible over the engine's growl. "Or do you want to see the world outside the fence?"
You looked back at the lights of your houseâthe golden glow of safety, of expectations, of the "great future" everyone had planned for you. Then you looked at Heeseung. He looked like ruin. He looked like the end of everything you knew.
You took his hand.
The moment you settled behind him, your arms wrapping around his waist and your chest pressing against his back, you felt a shift. You weren't the pastorâs daughter anymore. You were just a girl on the back of a bike, clinging to the only person who had ever looked at you and seen the fire behind the ice.
Heeseung revved the engine, a low, guttural sound that vibrated through your entire body. "Hold on tight," he commanded. "We're going to give them something real to pray about."
And then, you were gone, flying through the dark, leaving the "good girl" behind in the dust of the trail.
The wind was a cold blade against your face, but the heat radiating from Heeseungâs back was a shield. You kept your eyes squeezed shut, your cheek pressed against the rough grain of his leather jacket, listening to the mechanical roar of the motorcycle as it ate the distance between Hillcrest and the unknown.
When the bike finally slowed, the sound of the engine dying felt like the world had stopped spinning. Heeseung kicked the stand down and sat back, but he didn't move to get off. He just leaned his head back, looking up at the sky.
You slowly untangled your arms from his waist, your hands trembling as you took in your surroundings. He had taken you to the old quarryâa jagged, limestone scar on the edge of the county where the water at the bottom looked like liquid ink.
"You can breathe now, little saint," Heeseung said, his voice cutting through the silence. He turned his head to look at you over his shoulder, a ghost of a smirk on his face. "The sky didn't fall. No lightning struck you down."
You slid off the seat, your legs feeling like jelly. "Iâve never been out this late. Not like this. If my dad knewâ"
"If your dad knew, heâd have an exorcist on speed dial," Heeseung interrupted, swinging his leg over the bike to stand. He took a few steps toward the edge of the cliff, hands shoved into his pockets. "But your dad isn't here. Itâs just me. And I donât care about your soul, y/n. I care about why youâre shaking."
"Iâm cold," you lied, pulling your cardigan tighter.
"You're a terrible liar," he rasped, turning around. "You're shaking because youâve spent nineteen years being a statue in a museum and you just realized you have a pulse. Come here."
It wasn't a request. You walked toward him, the gravel crunching under your bare feet. When you were close enough to see the amber flecks in his dark eyes, he reached out and grabbed the edges of your cardigan, pulling you toward him until your toes touched his boots.
"Look at me," he commanded. "Not at the ground. Not at the church. At me."
You looked up, your breath hitching. "Why are you doing this, Heeseung? Why did you come back? You could have stayed in the city. You could have stayed away from all of us."
"I tried," he admitted, his jaw tightening. "But every time I closed my eyes, I kept seeing that look you gave me at the Christmas pageant three years ago. Like you were drowning and everyone was just admiring the way you splashed."
You swallowed hard. "I wasn't drowning."
"You were dying," he countered, his voice dropping to a low, dangerous growl. "You were dying for someone to notice that youâre not a 'great future.' Youâre a girl who wants to feel something. Anything that isn't a script."
He stepped closer, his chest brushing yours. "Am I right? Tell me Iâm wrong and Iâll take you back right now. Iâll drop you at your front door and never look at you again."
The silence stretched between you, heavy and thick. You could hear the crickets in the grass and the distant rush of the wind, but all you could focus on was the way his thumb was tracing the line of your jaw, his touch feather-light but electric.
"Youâre not wrong," you whispered, the confession feeling like a sin and a relief all at once. "I'm tired, Heeseung. I'm so tired of being good."
Heeseungâs eyes darkened, his hand moving from your jaw to the back of your neck, his fingers tangling in your hair. "Good girls are just girls who haven't been caught yet," he murmured, leaning down until his lips were hovering just a breath away from yours. "And you... youâve been caught. By me."
"What are you going to do to me?" you breathed, your eyes fluttering shut.
"Whatever you want me to do," he replied, his voice a dark, velvet promise. "Do you want me to be the bad influence your mother warned you about? Do you want me to show you why theyâre so afraid of guys like me?"
"I want to know why I'm not afraid," you said, surprising yourself with your own boldness.
Heeseung let out a low, rough laugh, his grip on your hair tightening just enough to make you tilt your head back. "That's the most dangerous thing you've said all night. You should be afraid of me, y/n. I don't have a plan for you. I don't have a scholarship or a sermon. I just have right now."
He leaned in, his nose grazing yours. "Ask me," he prompted. "Ask me for what you want."
"Heeseungâ"
"Say it. Break the rules. Just once."
You gripped the lapels of his leather jacket, your knuckles turning white. The 'good girl' in you was dying, and in her place was someone raw and hungry. "Don't take me back," you whispered. "Not yet. I don't want to go back to the museum."
Heeseung didn't say another word. He crashed his lips against yours, and it wasn't the soft, polite kiss of a Sunday morning. It was desperate, sharp, and tasted of rebellion. It was the sound of a fence breaking. It was every "bad intention" he had ever harbored, finally finding a home.
He backed you up against the frame of the motorcycle, his hands roaming over your waist, pulling the silk of your nightgown against your skin. "You're not an angel," he growled against your lips, his voice thick with a sudden, overwhelming heat. "You're a fire. And I'm going to let you burn."
"Heeseung," you gasped into the kiss, your hands moving up to cup his face, feeling the stubble on his jaw. "Please..."
"Please what?" he mocked gently, pulling back just enough to look at your flushed face and swollen lips. "Please save you? Or please ruin you?"
You looked at himâreally looked at himâand for the first time in your life, you didn't see a boy to be saved or a delinquent to be shunned. You saw a mirror.
"Ruin me," you whispered.
Heeseungâs smirk vanished, replaced by an expression of pure, unadulterated possessiveness. He picked you up, sitting you on the tank of the bike so you were eye-to-eye, your legs wrapping instinctively around his waist.
"Careful what you wish for, Pastorâs daughter," he warned, his hands sliding up your thighs. "Once I start, I don't know how to stop. And I'm never giving you back."
The metal of the motorcycle tank was cold against the backs of your thighs, a sharp contrast to the furnace of Heeseungâs body as he stepped between your knees. The world beyond the quarryâthe church, the lectures, the suffocating expectations of Hillcrestâhad ceased to exist. There was only the smell of rain, the heavy thrum of his pulse, and the terrifying realization that you were finally, irrevocably, outside the fence.
Heeseungâs hands were large, his palms rough as they slid up from your knees, bunching the silk of your nightgown in his grip. He didnât look away from you. He watched the way your pupils dilated, the way your breath came in shallow, jagged hitches.
"Youâre trembling again," he noted, his voice a low, dark rumble. "Still cold? Or is the reality finally sinking in?"
"Iâm not scared of the reality," you whispered, your fingers digging into the leather of his jacket. "Iâm just... Iâve never been touched like this. No one has ever looked at me and not seen my fatherâs daughter."
Heeseung leaned in, his lips brushing against the pulse point in your neck. "I donât see him," he growled. "I donât see the deacon. I donât see the speaker. I see a girl whoâs been starving for a long time. I see someone whoâs tired of being a symbol of purity for a town that doesn't even know her name."
He bit down softly on the sensitive skin just below your ear, and a low, involuntary moan escaped your throatâa sound you didnât recognize, a sound that didn't belong to the "good girl" from Hillcrest.
"There it is," Heeseung murmured against your skin. "Thatâs the sound Iâve been waiting to hear since I saw you in the lobby this morning. Thatâs the real you."
He pulled back, his eyes searching yours with a raw, predatory intensity. "Do you know what theyâll say tomorrow? If they saw us now? Theyâd say I corrupted you. Theyâd say the 'bad boy' dragged the saint into the mud."
"Is that what you're doing?" you asked, your voice growing stronger, fueled by the adrenaline and the heat of his touch.
"No," Heeseung said, his expression hardening into something possessive. "I'm just giving you the keys to the cage. What you do with them is up to you. But once you step out, y/n, thereâs no going back. You can't put the halo back on once Iâve taken it off."
He reached for the hem of your cardigan, slowly peeling it off your shoulders. It fell to the gravel, leaving you in nothing but the thin, pale pink silk. In the moonlight, you felt exposed, like a nerve ending stripped bare.
"Heeseung," you breathed, a sudden wave of vulnerability washing over you.
He caught your chin, forcing you to look at him. "Look at me. You're safe with me. I'm the only person in your life who isn't going to ask you to be perfect. You can be messy. You can be loud. You can be mine."
The word 'mine' hit you like a physical weight. It wasn't the polite 'ours' of your parents or the 'theirs' of the congregation. it was singular. It was total.
"Say it," he prompted, his hands moving to your waist, pulling you so close that the lace of your nightgown was the only thing between you and his heartbeat. "Tell me you don't want to be their little angel anymore."
"I don't," you said, the words coming out as a breathless vow. "I don't want to be theirs. I don't want to be perfect."
"Good," Heeseung rasped. He leaned in, his lips ghosting over yours. "Because Iâm going to ruin that perfection so thoroughly that even your father won't be able to pray it back together."
He kissed you again, but this time, there was no hesitation. It was a claim. His tongue tasted of mint and rebellion, and his hands were everywhereâmapping the curves of your body with a hunger that made your head spin. He gripped your hips, his thumbs pressing into the bone, marking you through the silk.
"You're so soft," he muttered against your mouth, his voice thick and strained. "Too soft for a guy like me. But I'm not letting you go. Not tonight. Not ever."
You leaned back, your spine arching as his lips moved down to your collarbone, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. The stars above the quarry felt like they were spinning, the quiet night air filled with the sounds of your shared breaths and the distant, lonely howl of the wind.
"Tomorrow," you whispered, the thought of the morning sun and the church bells suddenly feeling like a distant, fading dream. "Tomorrow I have to go back. I have to be her again."
Heeseung stopped, his forehead resting against your chest. He let out a long, slow breath before looking up at you, his eyes darker than the ink of the quarry water.
"No," he said firmly. "Tomorrow, youâll walk into that church with a secret. Youâll sit in that front row, and youâll look at your father, and youâll know that the boy in the back pew has seen every part of you they think is 'holy.' Youâll know that you belong to the shadows now."
He reached out, his thumb dragging across your bottom lip, which was swollen and red from his kisses. "And every time you feel their eyes on you, you'll feel my hands on you instead. Thatâs the price of your freedom, y/n. Are you ready to pay it?"
You looked at the dark silhouette of the boy who had changed your world in a single night. You felt the weight of the silk, the chill of the air, and the absolute, terrifying heat of his presence.
"Yes," you said, your voice finally steady. "Iâm ready."
Heeseung smirkedâa real, genuine smile that finally reached his eyes. "That's my girl."
The engine of the motorcycle was still ticking as it cooled, the only sound in the vast, moonlit quarry besides the heavy thrum of Heeseungâs pulse against your palms. He didnât wait for you to find your footing. He stepped into your space, his leather jacket rustling as he grabbed your waist and hoisted you up onto the metal tank of the bike.
"Youâve been looking at me all day like youâre waiting for a miracle," Heeseung rasped, his voice a low, dangerous vibration. He stood between your knees, his hands sliding up your thighs, bunching the fabric of your modest dress until your skin was exposed to the cool night air.
"Heeseung," you breathed, your voice trembling. "I don'tâI've neverâ"
"I know," he interrupted, his dark eyes locking onto yours. He reached up, his thumb dragging across your bottom lip. "And thatâs why youâre going to let me take the lead. Iâm going to show you exactly what youâve been missing while you were busy being perfect."
He didn't give you a choice. He leaned in, his lips grazing your ear. "You're so wet for me, y/n. I can feel you shaking through the silk." He reached down, his fingers hooked into the waistband of your panties, and with one steady, dominant tug, he pulled them down your legs.
You let out a small, shy gasp, trying to close your knees, but he stepped further in, forcing them wide. "Don't hide from me," he commanded, his voice thick with possessiveness. "Look at me while I do this."
He guided your hands to his shoulders, forcing you to anchor yourself to him. Then, he knelt down between your legs. The sight of the town's "rebel" kneeling before you was jarring, but the look in his eyes wasn't one of a bad boyâit was hunger.
âYouâre so quiet,â Heeseung rasped, his voice a low, gravelly vibration that seemed to settle in your very bones. âI want to hear you, all of you. I want to hear the moans that you've been holding onto for so long.â
âI... I donât know,â you whispered, your face heating up as you looked away rather than his eyes. âIâve never done this, Heeseung.â
A dark, slow smirk spread across his lipsânot mean, but possessive. âI know you haven't. Thatâs why Iâm going to take care of you. You don't have to do a thing but breathe for me.â
You felt his hot breath against your inner thigh, and you gripped the seat of the bike so hard your knuckles turned white.
âHeeseung, waitââ
âTrust me,â he murmured against your skin.
He leaned forward, his nose grazing your center before he licked a single, bold stripe up your length. You arched your back, a broken, high-pitched moan escaping you. You didn't know you could make a sound like that. It was loud, pretty, and entirely out of your control.
âThere it is,â Heeseung growled against your pussy, his voice thick with satisfaction. âI knew youâd be sweet.â
He used his fingers to spread you apart, his eyes fixed on you as he began to worship you. He didn't ask where your clit was; he found it instantly, his tongue flicking over the sensitive bud with a precision that made your head spin. He wrapped his lips around you, sucking with a light, rhythmic pressure that felt like it was pulling the very air from your lungs.
âOh god... Heeseung!â You threaded your fingers through his dark, messy hair, your shyness being incinerated by the fire he was starting.
He didn't slow down. He knew exactly what he was doing. He moved his hand down, and you felt the sudden, stretching sensation of two long, slender fingers sliding into you. You let out a whimpering cry, your hips bucking forward instinctively.
âEasy,â he hissed, his fingers pushing deeper, moving in a steady, relentless pump. He curved them upward, hitting a spot inside you that sent a jolt of pure electricity through your entire body. âIâve got you. Just feel it.â
He was a master of the friction, his mouth working in perfect, cruel harmony with his hand. The squelching sounds of his tongue and the wet thud of his fingers against you were the only things you could hear over the roaring in your ears. You were a mess, your "good girl" persona shattered into a thousand pieces on the quarry floor.
âHee-Heeseung,â you moaned, your voice cracking. âI think... Iâm going to...â
âDo it,â Heeseung commanded, looking up at you through his long, dark eyelashes. His face was slick with you, his expression raw and triumphant. âCome for me, y/n. Show me how good I can make you feel.â
The pressure peaked, a white-hot tension coiling in your core until it finally snapped. You screamed his name into the night air, your body spasming as the orgasm washed over you. Your walls clenched around his fingers, and Heeseung moaned low in his throat, humming against your pussy as he drank in your surrender.
When you finally came down, trembling and gasping for air, Heeseung pulled back and stood up. He looked completely undone, his glossy lips pulled into a cocky smirk even as his own breathing remained jagged.
He looked down at his jeans, where a dark, heavy stain had bloomed through the denim. He let out a breathless, cheeky sigh, sounding more like the boy you used to know than the rebel the town feared.
âLook at what you did to me,â he whispered, gesturing to the mess in his pants. âI didn't even have to touch myself. Just watching you fall apart was enough.â
You reached out, your hands still shaky, and pulled him into a kiss. He tasted of you and the night, and as he laid his head on your chest, you realized the "bad boy" of Hillcrest wasn't just your ruin.
He was the only person who had ever truly seen you.
The silence of the quarry was heavy, but no longer suffocating. Now, it was a shared secret. Heeseung helped you fix your dress, his hands lingering on your waist with a newfound, quiet possessiveness. He didn't say much as he kicked the motorcycle back to life, but the way he tucked your cardigan around your shivering shoulders spoke volumes.
As you climbed back onto the bike, you didn't hesitate to wrap your arms around him. You pressed your face into the leather of his jacket, breathing in the scent of himânow mixed with the salt of your own skin.
The ride back to Hillcrest felt different. The wind didn't feel like a threat anymore; it felt like a witness. You watched the dark silhouettes of the trees fly by, thinking about the girl who had left her bedroom window a few hours ago. She felt like a stranger now.
Heeseung slowed the bike as he approached the dirt trail behind your house, cutting the engine long before you reached the edge of the lawn. He drifted the last few yards in silence, the only sound the crunch of tires on dry leaves.
He hopped off and reached out to help you down. In the shadows of the old oak trees, with your fatherâs house looming like a silent judge in the distance, Heeseung pulled you close one last time.
"You look different," he murmured, his thumb grazing your swollen lower lip. "You have that look in your eyes. Like you finally know a secret the rest of this town is too scared to learn."
"I feel different," you whispered, looking up at him. "How am I supposed to walk into that church tomorrow and pretend like tonight didn't happen?"
Heeseung smirked, that sharp, dangerous edge returning to his gaze. "That's the best part. You don't have to pretend it didn't happen. You just have to know that while your father is talking about heaven, Iâm sitting in the back thinking about exactly how you tasted out here in the dark."
He leaned down, giving you a slow, deep kiss that tasted of finality and a promise.
"Go on," he whispered against your lips. "Get back inside before the sun catches you. I'll see you in the morning, little saint."
âIn a world built on mirrors, the only thing real was the way he broke.â
Release Date: Coming soon to your notifications. âĄ
preview:
A dimly lit ballroom. The sound of a violin fading into a sharp, echoing silence.
"We have a contract, Sunghoon," you whisper, your back pressed against a marble pillar as the gala rages on without you. "This was supposed to be business. You promised."
Sunghoon steps into the light, his tuxedo jacket discarded, his sleeves rolled up to reveal the tension in his forearms. He doesn't look like the Prince anymore. He looks like a man who has just realized heâs lost a game he didn't know he was playing.
"The contract didn't account for the way you look in this light," he rasps, stepping close enough that you can feel the heat radiating off his skin. "It didn't account for me staying up until 4:00 AM wondering if youâre actually asleep, or if youâre thinking about the way I held your hand at dinner."
Your hand trembling as you realize his heart is racing against your palm.
"Tell me to stop," he commands, his voice dropping to a dangerous, velvet low as his hand finds the small of your back. "Tell me you don't feel it too, and I'll walk out that door and give you the merger. I'll give you everything. Just tell me itâs still a lie."
You look up at him, the weight of a decade of rivalry crumbling between you. "Sunghoon..."
"Lie to me," he breathes, his lips inches from yours. "Tell me you hate me. One. Last. Time."
hey guys â has anyone else gotten weird messages from any acc? someone said they accidentally reported me, but it feels a little sketchy, went on to send me a picture and instructions was to add someone on discord to dispute the matter. i asked them why they did so in the first place and they said it doesnt matter but wanted to let me know and went on about how she asked her friends to also do it????!!!!
just wanted to check if this is a known scam.
please be careful and donât click anything weird đ«¶
vibe; cold night mist, the blue light of a phone screen, the sound of static, and a heart that beats too loud for its own good.
author's note: took a late night walk today...this is for when the feels are physically bruising your chest. i wanted to capture that moment where the digital connection isn't enough anymore and the physical reality is almost too much to bear. please enjoy. âĄ
a loop of "almosts" and "what ifs."
Heeseung is a man made of frequencies. He understands the world in wavelengthsâthe sharp spike of a high note, the low thrum of a bassline, and the jagged, irregular static of his own anxiety.
But your voice? Your voice is the only frequency that levels him out.
It has become a ritual, a secret held in the dead of night. When the pressure of the stage feels like a chokehold, he retreats to the fire exit or the shadows of the recording booth. He doesn't look at his contacts; he doesn't have to. His thumb knows the way home.
Ring. Ring. Click.
"Hee? Itâs late."
He doesn't speak immediately. He just breathes, matching his inhalations to the soft cadence of your voice. He listens to the rustle of your sheets, the quiet yawn you try to hideâthe domestic sounds of a life heâs currently barred from. You are his tether. As long as you are on the other end of the line, he won't too far into the void.
But lately, the digital bridge is starting to crumble. The phone is getting heavier. The Dial Tragedy isn't the distance anymore; itâs the realization that heâs becoming a ghost haunting your voicemail.
The lyrics are scattered across his digital notepad, a frantic mess of ink and light.
I want to be with you every day and night
Wanna pick you up and take you to paradise
So pick up the, pick up the phone, go here and there
Heâs tired of the script. Heâs tired of being the tragic lead who only loves you through a speaker.
The air in the company building is recycled and thin, tasting of exhaustion. Heeseung stands by the window, watching the city lights flicker like dying stars. His heart starts that familiar, frantic gallopâa staccato rhythm that he canât compose his way out of.
[2:14 AM] Heeseung: The silence is too loud tonight.
[2:14 AM] Heeseung: Please. Walk with me?
When you agree, his breath hitches so sharply it hurts. He moves through the building like a shadow, slipping past security and into the biting cold of the Seoul night. Every step toward the park feels like heâs walking toward a cliff. Heâs terrified that if he sees you in the flesh, the fragile peace heâs built on phone calls will shatter, leaving him completely exposed.
He reaches the park gate, the metal cold and damp under his palms. Heâs earlyâheâs always early when it comes to you.
He tries to practice his breathing, but his lungs feel like theyâre filled with glass. Dial tragedy. He thinks of the song. He thinks of how heâs used your kindness as a battery, charging himself up just to go back into the lights, leaving you in the dark.
Then, a movement.
A shadow detaches itself from the streetlampâs glow. Itâs you.
Youâre wrapped in that oversized coat, your face pale and soft in the moonlight. As you walk toward him, Heeseung feels his heart hammer against his ribs with a violence that makes him dizzy. Itâs not the adrenaline of a stage; itâs the raw, terrifying thrum of wanting. Itâs the sound of a man who has been missing, finally seeing what he needed.
He watches the way your boots crunch on the frost, the way your breath hitches in a small puff of white. Youâre getting closerâten feet, five, threeâand the closer you get, the more his composure disappears. The idol vanishes. There is only Lee Heeseung, a boy who is so profoundly lonely that itâs a miracle he hasn't turned to dust.
"You came," he rasps. His voice is a wreck, a broken thing.
"You called," you answer simply, stepping into his space.
The proximity is a sensory overload. The scent of your shampoo, the warmth radiating from your skin, the way your eyes search his with that devastatingly kind concern. Heeseungâs heart is screaming now, a rhythmic, desperate thud-thud-thud that heâs sure you can hear in the quiet of the park.
He reaches out, his fingers trembling as he grazes the sleeve of your coat, not quite brave enough to touch your skin yet. He looks down at you, his eyes brimming with a tragedy that no song could ever truly captureâthe tragedy of loving someone so much that even breathing the same air feels like a beautiful, temporary mercy.
"Iâve been standing here counting," he whispers, a small, sad smile breaking across his tired face. "I think my heart beat a million times just waiting for you to round that corner. Itâs a tragedy, isn't it? That I only feel alive when I'm terrified of losing you."
He doesn't look away.
He can't.
In the blue-black shadows of 2:00 AM, he lets himself drown in the yearning, hoping that just this once, the line won't go dead.
