@theunwantedguestproject is now live!! a bunch of artists took part in illustrating Tamsyn Muir's play The Unwanted Guest. here's some cover variants I designed just for fun :') you can check out the project here 💜
I was rereading The Murderbot Diaries recently and it’s extremely funny to me that MB knows the word “verisimilitude” but not “acronym.” What TV show character gave it this vocabulary.
Hold on this is the best proposed explanation I’ve seen on this post yet. It makes total sense that The Company name would be an acronym and Murderbot has so thoroughly redacted everything to do with it that the very word just Does Not stick in its brain. This is now canon to me.
first few months of alectopause: damn can't wait until atn comes out
2023 alectopause: you know it's ok we can wait. i got some fics to write
2024 alectopause: here is 30,000 words on how john's characterization as emperor and lyctorhood interplays with colonialism, imperialism, sexual assault, and misogyny, featuring a full bibliography, a reading list, and peer reviewed by three mutuals
2025 alectopause: gideon would not fucking say that
2026 alectopause: what is everyone's blood pressure headcanons for the characters. i think harrow is orthostatic and gets a regular 90/50
I have put little notes on every page where Baru lets hints at her true (?) motivation slip throughout The Traitor, so I might as well compile them. For your reading agony, chapter by chapter.
Ch. 11
Let's start with meeting Apparitor. What I find fascinating is that there is no fade to black where he gives her a mysterious task we don’t know about, but instead he lays out that she is to be tested and what that test will be right in front of our eyes, and she understands.
"So how to draw out the disloyal, we wondered? How to address the trouble of the dukes? How to purge Aurdwynn of its illness, before that illness sickens our Empire? We have a favorite method."
Ah, and what a method it is. Also, let's pay attention whenever Baru calls something a test.
Ch. 14
It was done. All the power had gone out of her hands. In a few days Xate Yawa would destroy her, or see the first spark of rebellion lit.
And then Baru's real test would begin.
Subtle, but who refers to a rebellion they earnestly want to lead as a test?
Ch. 15
Here she could be honest. The truth worked to her advantage.
This is a brief moment when she's talking to Tain Hu in Ake Sentiamut's home. Hahah hey, Baru, does that mean you've been dishonest at other points?
Ch. 16
The secret of secrets rose in her like a rotten thing trying to retch itself up, and just to stop it, to head it off, to do anything but say it or feel it like a pole of obsidian strapped to the curve of her spine, she seized the priestess by the back of the neck and held her close to hiss a different secret, her lips against the ilykari’s small dark ear: “I want to fuck women.”
Trying to hide her sexuality has been a major concern for Baru so far, to the point where even though it comes up so frequently it has never been expressed in such explicit terms before because Baru at all times is attempting to hide things from herself as well. And she immediately jumps to regret once those words leave her lips. But there's something even worse.
Ch. 17
“Under what circumstances will you need to kill me?”
(...) “You serve the Faceless Throne. Why would I kill you?”
“Perhaps if I ceased to serve it.”
“How? (...) The hand of the Throne moves us all.”
One selfish part of Baru noted: Cartone didn’t go for me - he didn’t know I was part of it - or he did-
Where no one is sure how much Purity Cartone knows.
Ch. 18
And it pierced Baru's heart to realize that no matter what Tain Hu chose in this moment, she would regret it to the end of her life.
Ch. 20
"I have concerns," Oathsfire wrote, "that they may insist on such generous terms in the future, making business difficult". She ignored him.
Maybe she's just annoyed at Oathsfire. Maybe she doesn't worry much about that version of the future.
Ch. 23
Pillage would work in the short run, but it went against Baru's goals in the long.
Just Baru's goals, not the rebellion's, apparently.
"Be cold, Your Excellence."
"I am," Baru said. A great wall within her shifted a little, and began to crack. (...) "I am."
Ch. 24
The Duke of Lachta hesitated, and Baru thought: Ah - even you doubt her. Even you believe that no one can lie so ably, so completely, about her true loyalties.
But Baru knew it was possible.
“I have committed a terrible crime,” she said, voice firm, controlled, machined to a polish. “So terrible that I feel I can do anything, commit any sin, betray any trust, because no matter what ruin I make of myself, it cannot be worse than what I have already done.” “Speak,” the ilykari murmured. Baru tried, and it all caught in her lungs, a tumor, an avalanche, a drifting Oriati mine. The size of it, the depth of the roots, the test she faced, the doom she had brought down on herself. “I cannot,” she said. “I cannot speak.” “What do you do?” the priestess asked. (...) “I try to save my home,” Baru rasped. “Everything I do. For Taranoke.”
She would have to be more and more ruthless as the end approached.
Ch. 25
Baru stood in silence, afraid to move or think. Petrified by the Clarified, by the physical danger of his presence, by the greater menace of all the things he was a talisman of. Had he dyed his hair so brilliant red to carry a message? To say—remember—?
(...)
"Do you remember when you took me to see the riot? What you told me then?” They have a clever technique. A favorite strategem of Xate Yawa, of the Masquerade, of the ruling power behind the Faceless Throne.
Can you believe Baru reminds Hu of the honeypot method here! After being herself reminded of Apparitor!
“Tell me everything you know about Xate Yawa’s true loyalties. (...) She has no authority over you,” Baru assured him, soft, coaxing. “I am Falcrest’s truest servant in Aurdwynn.”
“Xate Yawa serves the future of Aurdwynn. She cares only for her ability to control that future, to guarantee a distant peace. (...) The paramount masters observe Xate Yawa through their agents, and consider her promising. She may be chosen for exaltation.” “What?” Forgetting caution, Baru stepped closer, kneeling. “Again! Tell me that again!” “The paramount masters. The mind behind the Masquerade. A closed circle, each member balanced against another. Chosen by invitation and test to dictate the Imperial Republic’s grand strategies of policy and heredity.”
Not only does Purity Cartone still listen to Baru, he also spills Yawa's identical triple-crossing purpose!
The need to be ruthless would only grow, a rising peak, a steepening precipice tipping toward final cataclysm. She had to harden herself. Remove all weakness.
Goodbye Unuxekome.
Ch. 26
“Not now,” Baru said, afraid to let her terrible weariness show, her wrenching sickness at the thought of tests to come. “Speak of something other than battle and thrones.”
How can you, a rationalist, believe in our chances of victory strongly enough to rebel? Do you not fear their gradual return? Do you see any hope for us in five decades, in a century?
She wrote: Duke High Stone, above all else I promise this: I have planned for the long term.
How reassuring.
The ruin inside Baru, the yawning precipice, had filled her up with scars.
A terrible unwise unwanted thing trembled alive inside her, a thing she had known for a long time, a thing she could not yet acknowledge nor admit. A vast mistake. The second worst thing she had ever allowed.
Well it's reassuring that if you've ruined and ended countless lives in the name of a cause you knew you would betray from the very beginning, being gay is only the second worst thing you've done.
Ch. 27
She had to defeat Cattlson. Of this she had not the littlest doubt—she had to bring the war to a swift, focused conclusion, an indisputable rebel triumph. (...) “What of the marines?” Baru asked. (...) When the end of the rebellion came, the marines would write it. Of this, too, she had not the littlest doubt.
when, not if
She held his gaze and wondered. He had such lively eyes, but something had come into them: a weariness, or a shield. “You have some concern?”
Lyxaxu does indeed have some concern.
Ch. 28
More than anything else in the universe, more than the power to dictate law at Taranoke, more than the knowledge of the count of stars in the sky, Baru wanted in that moment to speak the truth. But she had no tongue for it. She had burnt all her truth away. Alloyed it into the machine. (...) “There’s something I should tell you,” Baru said. It came out a rattle, a hiss, not like a lie would have, no; not smooth, not calm, not confident. Lies on her tongue, grown into the flesh of it, oiled in her blood. Allergic to the truth.
Ch. 29
So this was it—done in by her own idiot trust. She had known Lyxaxu for a clever man. But he had seemed so idealistic.… So close to the end. Swallowed up before the precipice could take her. (...) Lyxaxu spurred his horse forward. “Duke Lachta. Your Grace. I know what you’ve done for the cause. Stand aside, and let me save us all.”
... but his concern is too late
Baru watched the center bend with her fists balled. If she lost—if Cattlson won—if the marines came and found a battlefield in ruin, crows picking at the rebel dead—
Your errors will be written on your blood and sex. You must be flawless.
"When you're dead," Baru says, with rising delight, a wicked joy, "I'm going to take a pass at your secret daughter. I'll have her to a very charming dinner. I'll flirt with her over iced vodka and blackberries."
Someone sent an ask about Murderbot Expressions (tm) and I got a lil distracted and drew... well Murderbot living up to its name.
In my second read through, it registered that Murderbot punched the Target UP into the bulkhead... not down onto the floor. like damn. what a construct.
also i have a smaller doodle to show:
direct aftermath. poor thing... clean up first will you tho.
(descriptions in alt text)
(btw i will get to the other softer expressions for the person who asked!! just...... had to draw blood first.)
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