zed

he/him

[616swanda]

[knock-knock-its-a-me-mario]

please please please please please come back please i’m begging 😭😭

[leonardcohenofficial]

hate an x reader fic do not put me in a situation

[leonardcohenofficial]

peace and love on planet earth

[leonardcohenofficial]

[nealashitposts]

So I've got this friend whose nervous because she's trans and dating this guy who she hasn't told yet because they've only been on a two dates. For this story let's call the friend Jane and the guy she was dating Jason. Happy ending don't worry.

So I tell Jane to bring her boy over to a bbq I'm having and she can tell him she's trans at my place surrounded by queer and trans people who love her and will support her if he ends up being awful.

She waits till the end of the bbq to tell him the news, by which point the rest of us have learned that Jason is a kind, friendly, empathetic, hard working, dummy. So we sit down, all of us a little worried about this gym bro's reaction when she tells him she's trans, and that she understands if he doesn't want to keep dating her it's no big deal.

He's baffled, so we explain what trans is, and after the disclosure that she hasn't had bottom surgery yet...

"Oh you have a dick?"

"... yeah."

He look's around at the room full of people with baited breath, his clearly a little afraid girl friend says

"Oooohhhh! I get it! You think- don't worry Babe! Watch this!"

And ya'll this man jumps up, runs into the kitchen and returns with one of the bratwurst we had for grilling and proceeds to tilt his head back, put it down his throat, hold it in his mouth for a moment, and spit it up without even a whisper of a gag and then looks around at the group absolutely beaming with pride.

My mans saw his worried girlfriend and her support network and thought to him self "Oh they don't think I can't please my girl, but I'll show them!"

[nealashitposts]

I do feel the need to add that later he excitedly tell the group that as a straight guy, he never thought that skill would be useful outside hotdog eating contests.

[noah-wyles]

[boycritter]

maybe i like my tech a little bit inconvenient

[boycritter]

maybe i like pulling out my debit card instead of using apple pay. maybe i like untangling my wired headphones. maybe i like typing something into the search bar instead of using siri or whatever. maybe i like curating my own social media feeds over an algorithm. i just don’t think everything has to be perfectly streamlined and efficient i like it when things feel tethered to the real world.

[guzhufuren]

ATINY twitter (pt. 34/?)

[guzhufuren]

[vampireghoul]

stalked ur blog shawty, just gotta say, fantastic tits… and i’m sorry u had a bad day, also.

[miiilowo]

whys combat and military gear always got to look so fucking cool when the people wearing them just objectively arent. thats unfair

[miiilowo]

this goes for like, all of time. knights are serving the KING? the fucking KING?

[miiilowo]

you cant serve cunt and the government at the same time come on now pick the right side i know you have it in you

[vivian-the-barbarian]

Jesus said this. Matthew 6:24

[miiilowo]

jesus said this

[demonnstein]

[lifehackable]

This is potentially life saving information everyone should know.

[tarcroach]

No you guys this post helped me find my cat. He was missing for almost a month and I’ve had him for over 12 years. After seeing this I put his favorite blanket he always slept on outside hoping he would smell mine or his scent and he was back the next fucking day asleep on it.

[ittygittydiddynator]

When my cat got out, we called and called for him, and then, later that night, I remembered similar advice to this, and so put his little scratching pad, which he adores, on the front porch. Not even half an hour later, I heard a thump, opened the door, and there was his big butt, meowing at me.

[sparklesmccheesy]

Important and vital

[natasha-romvnoff]

I don’t care that I reblogged this today I’m reblogging it again

[writing-n-ocs]

This is an exception to not being related to writing.

[castielismyhusband2266]

I hope this helps somebody

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Whenever someone in one of my buy swap sell groups reports a missing cat, I remember this post and pass the advice on. So far, ALL of the missing cats have come home.

[icaruspendragon]

“nothing like a little cock warming on a thursday night, you know what i’m saying?” i offer to the silence of my bedroom.

“uh. no?” my husband calls from the living room

several moments of silence pass.

“was that all?”

“yeah. that was it.” i confirm.

“okay.”

he unpauses leverage and off we go, passing like nothing more than two ships in the night.

[gaymattsharp]

when the objectively bad person has traumatic and honestly reasonable reasons for why theyre like that but it doesnt excuse their actions and only serves to make them more tragic as a character

[scottiequeen]

[pathos-logical]

[ID: Image one is an emoji face smirking and rubbing its hands together villainously. Image two shows tags by @/TheBoookWitch that say, "#love this in fiction #hate when it's my mom". End ID]

[wehatetuesdays]

people don’t spray paint “bad wolf” in cryptic areas like they used to

[weirdfrequency]

WIP "The book burner"

I love one disaster of a book hunting man with badly dyed hair, and also Im a crusty mall goth Gerry truther (you dont mention that bad of a dye job in every episode without it being a essential of the character)

[lxcke]

THE SWIMMING PIC HAS ME SOBBING 😭😭

[browsethestacks]

Still Can...