trying on a metaphor
we're not kids anymore.
h
DEAR READER
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
RMH
Jules of Nature
d e v o n
Three Goblin Art
⁂
hello vonnie
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
if i look back, i am lost
YOU ARE THE REASON
No title available
Game of Thrones Daily
art blog(derogatory)
Monterey Bay Aquarium
cherry valley forever
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
seen from Netherlands
seen from Italy
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Italy
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Türkiye
seen from Türkiye
seen from Türkiye
seen from Germany
seen from Malaysia
seen from Türkiye
seen from Luxembourg
seen from Türkiye
seen from Malaysia
seen from Australia
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Germany
@terrakal
Facilitate safe access to drinking water for women and girls in the two communes of Dkhissa and Oued Rouman in the Fez-Meknes region of Moro
Welcome to Decolonize Palestine, a collection of resources for anyone who wants to learn more about Palestine.
Astypalaia, Greece, 2013
ben al dagen niet naar buiten gegaan, ben al weken minder makeup dragen nu zo gewend geraakt aan mn koppie zonder gahhh
https://www.artstation.com/artwork/kl3g9y
Life has been a little rough lately,,,
Not passing my final exams has taken a toll on me. And it shouldn’t i have so many paths to go. But the way that the system of our life has been determined by a few mandatory aspects as, water, air, food, money, social interaction and papers..
The papers in question? Simple, diploma’s, cv’s, law abiding papers etc etc. There are alot more but for now…
And to not have the base paper, the main one, the first step, it took me bloody 18 years to get all the way to the castle in which my diploma is put so i can continue my journey to the next nightmare of a castle aka university.
But oh no i cant even pass the first damned—
Anyway besides that i need to take another year to redo the thing all because of that.. math
It still makes my head hurt i tried i really did..
But there should be some light around the next one, i just wont have a fun graduation party, i will give my parents headaches, ill be paying much more to just redo the entire batch.
And thinking about it all of this weighing on my mind has made me lazier than ever! I can barely draw, barely write, havent done shit to get a car nor job. And im barely holding on to my religion. And in turn i keep looking at myself in the mirror as if becoming more uglier with the day.
Then again, im over exaggerating im sure, there a re much bigger issues and here i am making a big deal and finding excuses for being a lazy bum.
Anyway.. time to get them vvo readyand hopefully itll be a.fun calm year
Swans in the Sea
Cuba during the 90s photographed by Gérard Sioen
Du côté de la côte
Agnès Varda 1958
windows in chinese gardens
Here’s a video so you can hear the water and the thrushes. I took it for you because you couldn’t be there. <3
Sharing this again for anyone who could use a few seconds of peace and light today for whatever reason.
To cut back on the negativity i’ve drowned this account in, i wanna talk about my dream future home.
Warm and homey
Moslim aka met bidden
Op verschillende vlakken bezig met het deen
+/10cm langer
Sik of baard moet een, we gaan ni voor kaal boven of beneden
Mannelijke positie in het leven trotseren (gezin)
Moet kinderen willen (9 jaar)
Niet homo
Mocro zijn
Breed, gym gym brede shouders
Multilingual
Ouder dan mij max 5 jaar
WONEN IN ALMEREEE
Mij respecteren
icognito op sm oftewel niet alle schermuren op social media, LEEF
Moet niet bang zijn
Zoetsappig
august 15, 2024 (p.s. I'm pretty sure this is what Eden used to look like)
Hard pill to swallow, maybe, but sometimes you are the problem. You may not have been initially, but people around you can only have so much endurance for understanding why you're "like that" and how you got to where you are now. Even if you were the one who was victimized, hurt, or abused to begin with, your behavior affects those around you. There's a point at which personal responsibility needs to kick in, or you will become toxic. You can become toxic even if you never become an abuser yourself. If other people are constantly having to help dig you out of the holes you made but you keep slapping their hands away, you cannot expect them to have an indefinite amount of patience and energy to keep trying. If you're not putting in the work to recover from what damaged you; if everyone else in your life is consistently the only one making a real effort to effect change for you--you're the problem.
People can give you love, but can't make you treat yourself like someone you care about.
People can offer you resources, but can't make you reach out and use them.
People can lay down stepping stones, but can't make you put the work in to make progress.
If you're expecting everyone around you to keep making the decisions and making things ok for you, you need to take a step back and some serious time for deep introspection. This doesn't mean that others shouldn't have compassion for you, but as difficult as things are and as tired as you are--others get tired too and can't be expected to carry it all.
And if you blame everyone else in your life because they "gave up on you" when they reach a limit, you have a victim complex. Having been a victim does not mean you should accept perpetual victimhood.
People are allowed to say "I love you, and my love for you does not make me willing to sacrifice myself." There's a point at which people have to let go because they do not ultimately hold responsibility for whether you live, die, or thrive--only you do.
I mean, this describes my whole life from birth to mid-20s as well as many people I know.
You decide that you want better for yourself and others around you, that it's no longer acceptable, and you start chipping away at unpacking your trauma and changing how you do things.
It's obviously easier said than done, so I don't really appreciate the folks tagging this as "go to therapy," either. Yes go to therapy (if it's available to you, if you can find a decent provider in your area, if you have insurance or the money to pay out of pocket, if you can get around the dozen other roadblocks). Therapy isn't the only way to work on recovery though, and it's avoidant and irresponsible to act like not being able to access therapy means there's nothing you can do. Both of these concepts are true.
You have to be fed up. You have to be sick of your own problems and negative behaviors enough to not find them acceptable anymore. Then instead of feeling sorry for yourself you do something.
Ok, things I've done to work on myself that don't require seeing a therapist:
- Educating myself by extensively researching the problems and symptoms I live with to better understand how and why I do things.
- Reading about trauma.
The Body Keeps the Score
- Self-help workbooks.
The C-PTSD Workbook
The DBT Workbook
The Addiction Recovery Skills Workbook
- Seeking peer support by participating in Discord server(s) related to trauma and mental illness. I couldn't find one specific to my diagnoses that I was comfortable in, so I created one, and 3 years on it's grown and is going great overall.
- Learning to take feedback about my behavior from people I generally trust, and to not take feedback/constructive criticism as an attack, but as a tool.
- Working at communicating my feelings and needs as statements, not out of anger or as demands.
- Reminding myself that other people's experiences and feelings matter, and should be considered. Even people with the best intentions can be self-centered, especially under stress. You have to work at it.
- Learning to recognize my triggers, patterns, and reactivity, and to de-escalate myself. Treating emotions as visitors and not drowning in them; recognizing that nothing is permanent.
- Setting rules with myself as to how I handle things when I'm upset; for example, I will only raise my voice to others as a last resort, and I will not physically act out my anger in an uncontrolled way. Breaking dollar store dishes in a specified area is relatively safe, controlled, and thus non-harmful.
- Asking myself, literally, if I'm being the problem. Is my behavior the actual reason things suck right now. It's too easy to have a tendency to blame others or situations outside of your control so you have to ask. Sometimes it really is someone else's fault or nobody's, but you have to ask.
Obviously I'm not perfect at any of these skills, by any means. It's about consistently putting in the effort until you get better at them.
“One of the strongest feelings I remember from my childhood is, precisely, of being humiliated; of being knocked about by words, acts, or situations. Isn’t it a fact that children are always feeling deeply humiliated in their relations with grown-ups and each other? I have a feeling children spend a good deal of their time humiliating one another. Our whole education is just one long humiliation, and it was even more so when I was a child. One of the wounds I’ve found hardest to bear in my adult life has been the fear of humiliation, and the sense of being humiliated. Every time I read a review, for instance — whether laudatory or not — this feeling awakes. To humiliate and be humiliated, I think, is a crucial element in our whole social structure.”
— Ingmar Bergman; Interviews with Ingmar Bergman by Stig Bjorkman
Cadaqués, Comarques Gironines, Catalonia.
Photo by Xavier Forcadell on Flickr.
