My Life

Don’t like what I have to say then don’t look.

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

One of the saddest, hardest moments of your life will be when you are crying and screaming to the world pleading for a sign.

A sign that you should stay alive for one more day, maybe a couple of days.

But that sign doesn’ t come. You stare at your phone thinking maybe someone will answer or someone will text you asking if you’re okay. You search endlessly for some reason to stay alive but you can’t find any.

That is probably the most heartbreaking moment when you can’t find any reason to stay alive when you need it most because you suddenly feel all this pain and you feel more alone than you’ve ever felt in your entire life.

That moment will break you and I don’t wish it on even my worst enemies.

[textsthatiamtooafraidtosend]

Hitting this moment sucks.

Hitting this moment multiple times makes you give up all hope.

[emotionalwords]

[textsthatiamtooafraidtosend]

All the fucking time

[textsthatiamtooafraidtosend]

You just put the final nail into my coffin.

It’s no longer a matter of if but when.

Im sorry I didn’t die sooner.

[textsthatiamtooafraidtosend]

You fucked up.

This is all your fault.

You could have prevented all of this.

[textsthatiamtooafraidtosend]

I miss having someone to talk to.

The silence is deafening.

[textsthatiamtooafraidtosend]

I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you.

I really fucking hate you.

You did the one thing you said you never would.

[textsthatiamtooafraidtosend]

I hate you.

How is it fair that you can get mad at me for texting you when I didn’t know you were busy because you never told me you were busy??????

[textsthatiamtooafraidtosend]

I can’t do this.

I’m so fucking not ok.

I can’t talk to you anymore, so now I literally have no one to talk to.

I’m so messed up. I’m so anxious. I’m so not ok.

Fuck.

I can’t do this.

[textsthatiamtooafraidtosend]

I really really just need to kill myself.

I can’t do this anymore.

I can’t take it.

I just need to die.

I need to. I need to I need to.

I don’t have any other options.

And the sad thing is no one would care or even notice me gone.

[theonenoonewantsx]

[textsthatiamtooafraidtosend]

It is always my fault.

[textsthatiamtooafraidtosend]

I don’t know what to do.

How do you respond when someone tells you that you’re their favorite cause you take their abuse?

Is that a joke? Is it supposed to be a complete? I don’t know.

[textsthatiamtooafraidtosend]

It’s fine. I get it. You can hate me.

It’s fine. You don’t need to pretend to care anymore. I know you’re just doing it out of pity. I know you don’t actually care.

I don’t deserve to be cared about.

I don’t deserve to have friends.

I don’t deserve to be alive anymore.

I deserve all this pain.

[textsthatiamtooafraidtosend]

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I so so so so so so so fucking hate you.

[textsthatiamtooafraidtosend]

how come doing it comes so easy to some people and I can’t muster up the ability to do it.

[textsthatiamtooafraidtosend]

No one cares I’m drunk

No one cares if I kill myslf

I can’t get anyone to respond to me.

Maybe should do it

[kingkyliezzzle]

[textsthatiamtooafraidtosend]

god do i want nothing more than to be done.

[textsthatiamtooafraidtosend]

I fucking want to kill myself.

Im fucking tired of no one caring.

Im fucking tired of being the disappointment.

Im fucking tired of being the least like child.

Im fucking tired of being compared to my brother.

Im fucking tired of never being good enough.

Im fucking tired of being blamed for everything.

God. Im just fucking tired of being alive.

This needs to change and I hope it changes soon.