Gimme the funny

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Just pooped green , I think I can hear my bell chiming, wish me luck

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It's come to my attention that I can't actually tell the difference between people in a wolf cut

I just think hey Wolfy's looking good today and move on

I no longer no how many distinct acquaintances I have

I am perfectly comfortable with this revelation.

[goldleafer]

I love how our phones let us do this

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Before iPhones we used to have to consult shamans to decipher what the symbols were as us mechanics are forbidden from reading

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Funny how all it took is a rise in oil prices for the guardian to be like darn maybe all this warmongering is bad actually.

[girlmostlikely]

Ate him the fuck up

[mr-deep-downer]

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History is made by having escapades and romps not by aiming to be the most average suburban dad ever

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Loving the idea that they had to put him down like a dog , but didn't want to upset people too much so just lied about it

[byjove]

Cemeteries are not wastes of space. Historical cemeteries ESPECIALLY are not wastes of space. The fact developers are continuously foaming at the mouth to destroy them and put a strip mall up in their place should make you even more determined to help maintain them. In urban areas, they are a haven for wildlife. They are a green space. If you are too afraid of death to utilize them for that purpose, that is on you.

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Read that as centimetres and was just willing to go with centimeters are not a waste of space as a concept.

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Y'all ever get those moments where you're convincing yourself you're okay but someone asked you you'd just fall to the floor already shattered into pieces or is it just Tuesday again?

[redstonedust]

always been of the opinion that mermaids would definitely eat fish and it's silly to pretend otherwise. but i am amused by the idea of a mermaid looking at humans eating pork like "oh my god... you can do that? isn't that like basically cannibalism? i mean you're both mammals right. that's so freaky i can't believe you're okay with that."

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NGL if mermaids eat fish and people there's a good case for eating other mermaids too, cannibalism is a pretty common trait among apex predators.

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Apparently it never was just Monica...

[cerayanay]

“How would you feed if you were a vampire” reveals a lot about people

“Steal blood donations from hospitals and blood banks” = my personal favorite. They assume the process for this is simpler than dealing with eating people, clearly the most ethical.

“Stealing blood bags is more unethical than eating people” = surprisingly common take. Perhaps they hold the belief some people deserve life saving care over others. If stealing blood people donate anonymously that would keep both you and potential victims alive, then how is it unethical? Most likely, they read this take online and never really thought about it too hard just agreed because everyone else did. Very telling.

“I’d only feed off of volunteers”= has a deep set faith in a sense of community. Not only people that you trust to keep your secret but would put themselves in danger for you. That’s beautiful. Probably gay.

“I’d feed off of strangers but knock them out first, I’d just take a little” = the belief this is more ethical than stealing blood donations is fascinating

“I’d only eat bad people” = MASSIVE can of worms, requiring its own post. who do you believe deserve to die, how would you be sure of that, and how is this more ethical? This conversation is now about who you would murder if you could get away with it

[vertyblog]

[lazerpie101-deactivated20251211]

I feel like stealing donated blood is worse than taking a little bit from random people because it's sorta destroying the main goal of the blood donation in the first place, to be used to help someone in an emergency. Just feels like kinda a dick move.

Stealing a little bit from some random person, however. It's not like they were putting that blood on standby for anything important. It's not like they aren't just going to make more and be right back to normal after like 2 days.

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What if I stole blood from peoples whose blood would be most nutritious meaning id take less overall.

[sailor-crusader-deactivated2025]

What are your thoughts on Gnomes?

What i want to know is how come ive never seen a black gnome? Every gnome in fiction is some cracker slurping some miniature ginger ale. Personally I would like to ask gnomeo and juliet why their garden of gnomes is an ethnostate. And the keebler elf, he calls himself an elf but let's be honest he's just a gnome. And he's a white rapper too. What a disgrace.

[sailor-crusader-deactivated2025]

... I got blocked for this answer?

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So imagine you're looking at someone's garden and it's full of small porcelain miniatures with darker skin tones, and exaggerated facial features most of whom are depicted as doing menial labour, digging, pushing wheelbarrows tilling soil ect.

I'm pretty sure it's possible for the right artist to make something genuinely sweet, I'm certain the wrong artist would make something pretty problematic.

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Nothing like a heatwave and being stuck in a shitty little town with a hole cut out of my ass to make sad songs fun

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Oh boo fucking hoo

Poor people are living near you and it's stopping you from selling your shitty farmhouse for 3/4 of a million

Eat shit

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The potential implication that the stuck caravan was what made the beach popular

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The family were also tourists and they're complaining about it being a busy day in this village.

They're mad because they had a 90 minute car ride to get there and couldn't think of anywhere else to go.

Right wing media really hates the poor for wanting to breathe the same air and inhabit the same spaces as what they perceive to be "more deserving" folk.

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Riding a motorcycle in the UK is great for teaching you about how incredibly not chill like 15% of people are. Driving on their phones changing lanes without checking mirrors , tailgating you if you dare drop to the speed limit and my personal favourite purposefully trying to ram into you whilst you split past them in slow traffic.

This isn't like exceptional or rare most of these things happen on the daily and it's something we all just have to deal with.