The Ministry of Public Relations

There are so few pleasures in life as fine as your company

[thalmor-official]

Greetings and salutations good citizens of Tamriel

It has come to the attention of the Third Aldmeri Dominion that this “tesblr” community has become one of the prime sources of anti-Thalmor and anti-Dominion rhetoric. We are aware that information regarding the Thalmor is limited, thus we at the Ministry of Public Relations thought it wise to correct some of this misinformation. In the process, we hope you may become more educated on the culture and politics of our fair Dominion.

You may address me as Alethea (she/her). I will be somewhat regularly posting information regarding the Dominion, as well as answering any questions you may have.

(We except the fair denizens of this community to be more accepting of the truth than their “Reddit” counterparts, our previous public media intern had to be transferred to our branch in Sunhold after spending the night on that website)

[thalmor-official]

A friend of mine has a friend of a friend who told him who told me that Ondolemar helped a Blades agent sneak into the Embassy during one of Elenwen’s parties. Any truth to those rumors?

I am not in a position to comment on Head Justiciar Ondolemar’s actions or intentions, but such rumors are likely untrue or highly misconstrued. And seeing as how far removed your understanding is from the original source, I am inclined to believe so.

This is to suggest that the Blades also continue to operate in any meaningful capacity, which all intelligence suggests is untrue.

[thalmor-official]

Why do the humans worship Talos?

It is first important to note that not all Men worship Talos. Talos is not a traditional member of any pantheon besides the Imperial Cult. But many non-Imperial Men choose to adopt him into their religion for a particular reason: it assures them power.

Talos worship is a symbol of power because it legitimizes Men’s supremacy over the other races. Much like how we Altmer have often claimed superiority over other races to ingratiate ourselves to the Imperial power structure, Bretons and Nords in particular will do the same. When you feel powerless against an overwhelming force, does it not feel better to assert power over those less fortunate than you? It does not help that Mannish races obviously identify more with each other than Bet/Mer.

The Empire’s ambiguous stance on Tiber Septim’s origins (though Tiber Septim was most certainly a Breton) are important to this equation because Breton, Nords, and Imperials alike can reflect their identity upon him. He is less of a god and more of an idea, and can be formed into whatever shape the worshipper sees fit.

It is telling that Talos worship amongst Redguards in Hammerfell is marginal. Talos may be any Man, but he can never be a Redguard, who is foreign even to their cousins.

[thalmor-official]

You are part of a dream by a god, you do not exist except in this slumber.

This is a doctrinally unsubstantiated claim. There is no officially recognized evidence to suggest that if a greater god, or “Godhead”, exists, we live within its dream. Most information involving this topic is from the works of Mikhael Karkuxor, who while certainly a vivid storyteller, is just that: a storyteller.

It is not recommended to take his word as factual truth, merely one man’s interpretation of his religion. While it may help one’s understanding of their place in the world, it is important to recognize that it is not doctrine in any official religious practice, even Daedric traditions.

[thalmor-official]

Hail! first off i’d like apologize for my imperialized kinsman they do not remember our traditions they fight and kill amongst themselves for an imperial god, see before the ancient nords did not worship the empire’s gods we worshiped out own i assume you would know them as ‘the old ways’ or the ‘nord totemic religion’ see we worshiped many gods the hearth gods the moth dibella, the hawk kyne, and the wolf mara, the dead gods the fox shor and the bear tsun and the testing god the snake herma mora, and the twilight god the dragon alduin. it’s a shame that my people have forgotten the ways of our ancestors but i will not put the blame entirely on the empire some fault is our own. i tell you this to hopefully remind the world that nords were not always like this we weren’t always imperial dogs or stormcloak oppressors we were a good people with rich culture with our own beliefs and traditions not fighting over talos. i do hope that maybe someday with or without the help of the thalmor as the empire’s claws recede from our home that my people will finally come back to our traditions and i’m sure that the old gods will welcome my kinsman with open arms.

- a nord

Greetings, kin-in-arms. I assure you, the Thalmor does not subscribe to the belief that any race or peoples is inherently evil. While we do not agree with much of the traditional Nord religion, we sympathize greatly with your efforts to preserve your culture and wish you the best of success.

The Stormcloaks’ devotion to Talos is a tragedy, in my opinion. It is but another example of how the well-off within the oppressed choose to align themselves with their conquerers as to separate themselves from what they consider “undesirable”. It is a revolution for only the most privileged of the underclass.

We Altmer are aware that our people have been particularly vulnerable to this tendency as well.

[thalmor-official]

Yo i found one of your guys in whiterun who found a talos shrine after bugging Elenwen and he lowkey killed all the worshippers but he died in the process :( he had a letter on his from Elenwen that said something about how many times he'd bugged her about that specififc issue but he found what he was looking for... should it be.. reported?

Well, I, um. I’m truly not sure how to respond to this. My best advice is to report the incident to the nearest Justiciar. While this agent was clearly acting in defiance of orders, it is still our duty to inform any family he may have of his death.

If you witness or are the target of a Justiciar in operation, you have the legal right to ask them for a written copy of their orders in the form of a warrant. We are aware that some of our agents may enact extrajudicial punishment. If they cannot present it to you with a seal from a Head Justiciar or Commander, please report their behavior (an identifying set of initals is sewn directly on their robes).

[thalmor-official]

What is your knowledge of the dragons coming back?

The Thalmor are currently in the process of researching the return of dragons. I cannot confirm or deny anything, nor can I explain the matter in any explicit detail.

Citizens should remain assured, however, that we are not responsible for the dragons. We also believe the Empire is likely not responsible.

We are still awaiting evaluation on the Stormcloaks’ role in the return, however.

[thalmor-official]

"Have you guys ever feared a lone attack on the Isles?"

@vestige-of-hammerfell

We have feared such attacks in the past, but there is currently no known offensive operations against Alinor. One of the primary reasons our homeland remains relatively safe is due to the breadth of distance between mainland Tamriel and Alinor.

That does not mean we are not prepared for an invasion, however. Our alliance with the Empire and Hammerfell’s relative distrust of other actors means there is no port for a strategically viable attack to be launched.

[thalmor-official]

Okay you said not to pursue Elenwen but how do you make her stop pursuing you? She's been after my dick for YEARS and she won't listen when I say I DON'T HAVE ONE

Congratulations on your transition, General.

I’m afraid Ambassador Elenwen is not a person who is easily persuaded. She is, how shall I put this, a particularly determined individual.

If she sees no chance of reciprocation, she will eventually lose interest. It is important to remembered however, that years are much shorter for us Mer. A passing infatuation to us may appear to be a years-long obsession to shorter lived races.

[thalmor-official]

Salutations,

Is it true that the embassy is a money laundering front for Maven Black-Briar? I’ve tasted her mead and it’s not all it gets hyped up to be. I think she has dirt on your operations in Skyrim, and you’re too chicken to fight back. It’s not like

(the body of the letter is soiled and smudged beyond legibility)

and thats why yousho ld justkill her a ndall her dark bro he ood cronies

- Mayoshi Fleetwind

The Embassy in Skyrim is most certainly not a laundering front for Maven Black-Briar or any of her business associates. The Thalmor do not deal with capital when we can avoid it, and all engagement with Imperial businesses is conducted solely through the Empire.

I do agree Black-Briar mead is subpar, however. I’ve heard rumors that they’ve changed their honey supplier, and it shows in the quality decline.

If she had blackmail against us, we would see to it that said content was destroyed and her ability to use it rendered permanently nonfunctional. If there is one thing we can agree on, it’s that business should have no outstanding influence over politics.

[thalmor-official]

What if Elenwen blows our backs out

Then I commend you for your bravery, General.

[thalmor-official]

No, it MUST be Elenwen. It's for the Thalmor Embassy exhibit, anything LESS than the best for such a thing is a crime in my book! I must blow out Elenwen's back!

-Vvardenfell Joel, not to be confused with John Skyrim

I implore you to STOP seeking out Ambassador Elenwen, she will likely NOT return your affections and is prone to grievously harming those she finds irritating.

[thalmor-official]

But I must blow Elenwen's back out for the exhibit, how can I get the exhibit without it?

-Vvardenfell Joel, Leader of the Explorer's Society

I promise you, it is certainly not worth it. There are plenty of Altmer women in the proverbial sea.

[thalmor-official]

I'm gonna blow Elenwen's back out for the Dragonborn Gallery. Any advice?

Don't.

I'm serious, she does not tolerate untoward attention. Besides, I think she might have eyes for someone else...

[thalmor-official]

What do y’all pad those uniforms with to look so caked up

The field robes are padded with quilting in the specific areas that are most anticipated to be injured, though this is actually a modification. Most justiciars (I assume you are speaking of the justiciar field robes) are trained in alteration, and can thus cast Stoneflesh at a minimum. The padding is accommodation for those who struggle with alteration.

Although yes, it is common for some justiciars to request padding specifically in their posterior. I've read a report in which a fresh graduate asked for padding to "make their ass look fat as fuck".

[thalmor-official]

I know about your sanctioned aldmeri nipple clamps.

How did you- There is NO such thing! Not that there’s anything wrong with healthy displays of sexuality, the Thalmor is actually quite supportive of it, in fact!

[thalmor-official]

I'm so sorry, I let my criminal dragonborn off his leash and he snuck into the Thalmor Headquarters in Solitude and stole all the cheese and I think he killed a couple guards too, idk how much we have to pay for this but Tullius is pissed mostly just cuz it's a lot of paperwork, major security breach and all

I’m sorry, but don’t believe it’s in your best interest to divulge your involvement in this situation?

Luckily for you, there have been no confirmed fatalities or injuries, and nothing besides various dairy products have been stolen. The Thalmor have chosen to treat this with levity more than frustration. If a Dominion official actually died, or even was assaulted, at the hands of a foreign citizen in a premeditated manner, it would be a serious international incident.

The paper work would be the least of your worries.