get turned small idiot
Peter Solarz
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@thankspupper
get turned small idiot
Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*
My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.
The spiritual successor to Miette
Might I also add
May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit
Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children
I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.
My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang
Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.
My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang
Me: ksst!
My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she's been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!
Me: ok
My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang
Can haz snackytreat
(source)
Source
world heritage post
And now with!
i really want two friends who will “beastie boy” my dialogue by yelling rhymes after I say everything
me: im going to the store to get some WATER
them: SOFIA COPPOLA IS FRANCIS FORD’S DAUGHTER
another perfect ad on this perfect website
The ad: DON’T APPROVE THIS AD! DON’T DO IT! DON’T FUCKING DO IT!!!
The guy in charge of approving ads:
I’m not even kidding but where I’m from rolling up your jeans is called pegging them. They sell pegged jeans
oh i know and it’s the source of one of my favorite images
Could they have picked out maybe something else for the name?!
No, that name is flawless
Atlantis: The Lost Empire 2001, dir. Gary Trousdale, Kirk Wise
feeling a deep sense of kinship with danny here
Predator (1987) | dir. John McTiernan
once a girl reported me to an administrator at school bc i was breaking dresscode and she didnt like me. so i pushed her down the stairs. i just kept walking and i dont think she saw me and i never got caught. i know she got very seriously injured and they had to call an ambulance and she transferred schools bc she knew SOMEONE pushed her and she didnt feel safe. ive never regretted it. its been years since i graduated and im on mood stabilizers now, but sometimes when someone is testing my patience i calm myself down by thinking about how good it felt to snap once and how i cant do that again bc i would go to prison probably
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underwater temple, underwater monk
underwater rhymes and underwater funk
he sleeps in the sea in an underwater bunk
with mirrors all around him hes an underwater hunk
he’s got underwater junk in his underwater trunk
on the basketball court he does a nautical dunk
he’s got a little stash of underwater skunk
underwater temple, underwater monk
Sick rhymes
HOLY COW! SOMEONE MADE THIS A SONG!!👍✨
this song slaps harder than anything i’ve heard in the past decade
I need them to submit this to WTNV, this is just the weather
i dont care about which one is your favorite
I extend my hand like a mob boss and allow you to kiss my ring but when you lean closer you see it's one of those glo-in-the-dark spider rings you win at arcades
*godfather voice* you disrespec me... and eat my spooky spida ring, which cost me 50 tickets at funtime arcade and pizzeria... vinny, hit her with da sticky hand