randomshit

[lierdumoa]

[whatyouwanted-whatyougot]

I reblog this every time I see it, because it’s one of life’s hardest lessons.

[lledxela]

“Todd why is the office flooded?”

“Aesthetic.”

[fuckkkkkkkktumblah-deactivated2]

no

[fakehermes-deactivated20170207]

[fuckkkkkkkktumblah-deactivated2]

NO

[tastefullyoffensive]

[bunnyfood]

[that-meme-nt-when]

Your cookies are trying to eat you....

[grapefruitmimosa]

i can’t believe i used to think people my age were adults

[97luftballons-deactivated201712]

the older you are reading this post the funnier it is

[clearsuggestion]

Cutting them off was the right thing to do. You’ll be so much happier. And yes, it’s okay to miss them while you’re at it.

[upandoutcomic]

my life is a thrilling one

BUY MY BOOK - Patreon- Facebook - Twitter - Subreddit

[that-meme-nt-when]

Perfect timing

[cinegasmic]

Just some favorite election headlines 

[performtheblacksacrament]

We Know

[that-meme-nt-when]

astrid: well the emperor needs to die now

dragonborn: yup that's what the creepy breton's paying us for

astrid: and of course you should do the honors

dragonborn: right that falls back into the "i do everything" bit

astrid: i mean after all you are the LISTENER

dragonborn: are you okay

astrid: of course why

dragonborn: i don't know that tone sounded a little passive aggressive

astrid: no i think you're reading too far into it

astrid: possibly because you're the LISTENER

dragonborn: was that a pun

astrid: oh look at you LISTENING

dragonborn: yeah i'm definitely picking up on some aggression here

astrid: no not at all

dragonborn: you sure

astrid: absolutely

dragonborn: there's nothing you want to get off your chest

astrid: no not at all

astrid: even though i'm sure you'd be happy to

astrid: LISTEN

dragonborn: alright this is getting thoroughly uncomfortable so i'm just gonna go

astrid: right you have fun and be safe

dragonborn: yup

astrid: should be easy since nobody here would sell you out to commander maro or anything

dragonborn: wait what

astrid: what

dragonborn: what did you say

astrid: nothing

dragonborn: no i heard you say something

astrid:

astrid: is it because you were LISTEN-

dragonborn: HOLY SHIT

[clientsfromhell]

At my old job, I used to have to help people print their photos. One customer had a 4X6 photo that she wanted to expand to an 8X10 print.

Client: I can’t have this be cropped.

Me: I understand that, but this 4x6 doesn’t have the same dimensions as 8x10. There has to be some slight trimming because 4x6 is equivalent to 8x12, not 8x10.

Client: I don’t want them trimmed, I want the whole image. Can’t you just make the photo fill the whole 8x10 space?

Me: Are you asking me to stretch it? Because if I stretch the two remaining sides to meet the edges, the photo is going to be distorted.

Client: No, I don’t want the image to be warped. 

The only other possible option was to include a white background so that the edges of the photo would have a white border. I went with that.

Client: No, this won’t do. I don’t want it to have two white strips. I don’t want it to be stretched. I don’t want it to be cropped at all. I just want this 4x6 to be printed exactly as it is in 8x10. Why can’t you just do that for me?

[kmtarchive-deactivated20201028]

@ all the spambots who r following me: thank you, u might be empty and artificial but so is the flimsy validation i gain from seeing my follower count rise

[searching-for-vienna]

I cannot count the times I have apologized for how I feel or who I am

(via unfollovving)

[memewhore]

[luddbible-deactivated20151215]

He knows what he’s done. But he’s in too deep to back out now.

[pleatedjeans]