Hello there! My name is Kit! Well, not really, but that's what I go by online 😊
This is my main account where I post things relating to writing and fandom! Reblogs or niche posts will be on my sideblog @ananxiouswriterside!
I write fanfictions, create original stories, post headcanons, share WIPS, love coffee and share whatever else comes to mind. Also, I'd be so genuinely absolutely happy if you gave me asks/inbox questions 🥹❤️
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My current fandoms are Voltron (2016), No I'm not a Human, Haikyuu!!, and a few niche stories from people's OCs.
The majority of my fanfictions are slice-of-life, hurt/comfort, touch on difficult topics, age-regression, and a few writing prompts. I take requests for the fandoms I'm in when they're commented on my AO3!
I believe that fiction is a safe place for anyone to explore themselves, their trauma, or their curiosity! Fiction is fictional and doesn't hurt anyone, plus people don't always think/believe/like/agree with what they read in fiction. That's why it's a safe space!
Even though I may not feel comfortable with everything everyone writes, I don't believe in judging or assessing them either without knowing who they are personally outside of their stories 🫠
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My other platforms and socials are:
AnAnxiousWriter (AO3)
AnAnxiousWriter (Ko-fi)
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My submission box is open, so feel free to ask whatever you want there! There's also drabble requests you can make.
You may follow and interact on my page if you're under 18, but don't interact with posts that are labeled mature or have 18+ content.
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My blog is a safe place for anyone and everyone! As long as you're kind, respectful, and open-minded, then you're welcome to be here :) If you're an anti, take fiction as reality, and/or if you're hateful and judgemental in general, then I don't think this is the right blog for you!
Tags List
#ananxiouswriter's specials - Special posts for special occasions!
#ananxiouswriter's inbox - Where I answer inbox requests, comments, and more.
#ananxiouswriter's word report - My monthly word report tracker.
#ananxiouswriter's recs - Where I list recs of my favorite fics and do reviews!
#ananxiouswriter's flashfics - Where I write drabble requests and post them.
#ananxiouswriter's wips - Wednesday WIPs, that are sometimes posted on Wednesday.
Fair warning to check your blog settings and make sure your comment share is off! Tumblr made a new setting that allows others to see comments you left on other people's posts. If that scares you, definitely turn it off!
🥹Guys. I'm lowkey considered not writing for a while or giving up on it. For like, months, my writing has felt so bad. It feels like I'm forgetting all elements of writing like body language and metaphors and other stuff. It feels like my writing regressed so much. I'm actually so upset and frustrated because I wanna write so badly but I just end up crying and getting frustrated because it doesn't feel right.
I actually don't know what to do because others say my writing doesn't look bad but I feel so disconnected from my writing style and word flow that other people thinking my writing is good doesn't feel like it matters anymore because I don't feel satisfied or connected with any of my writing
😭I wanna write. It feels like my brain is off and like I'm not thinking or something
UPDATE: I've been informed I've been writing too much and it's giving me a block. I am taking a small writing break :')
May I ask slightly philosophical question: why do you keep writing happy-ending fanfiction?/(Not negative)
I genuinely like lots of your stories and tropes you write about!
It's just love like that never actually find people irl. Not even close. And this dissonance makes me confused.
Why do you keep creating stories where wounded characters get help, full support, care, attention that they deserve (platonically/romantically)? It's kind of a phantom anyway, no? Real life "love" is never quite unconditional in my experience. I believe in realest life setting Keith would actually never have a partner to cuddle at night or have all those romantic/platonic love experiences. No one comes anyway
Again, I really appreciate your works! I am just genuinely curious about your perspective on this topic!
This question was so unexpected and I am SO excited. AHHHH. I love questions like these so much!
(Cut-off for long text)
I'm so sorry you haven't found this type of love and support irl 🥺❤️ You absolutely do deserve it and I hope it finds you one day :(<3 My DMs are open if you ever want a friend<3
Why I Choose Happy Endings
For me personally, I write happy endings simply because I enjoy them :) They make me happy and give me fulfillment!
As much as I love angst, whump, and hurt, it's hard for me to enjoy it completely without a happy ending.
Whether its reading or writing, a fic where a character goes through all these pain and misery, only to end up still in pain and miserable, feels too heavy for me.
Though I know many who enjoy sad endings and I adore their work, I personally write to uplift people about crummy situations 🥰🥰
One of the reasons I actually started writing fics was because I felt like I saw a lot of fics that showed characters in horrible situations, only to have a way-too-good-to-be-true ending. Everything was perfect after the storm. But for me, I wanted to write happy endings that show realism, hardship, up's and down's, and that not all recovery is easy or perfect.
Some happy endings aren't "everything turns out completely okay with no more issues." but rather "For now and today, things are okay. And if they aren't in the future, there will be a time I'm happy again."
The main reason I started writing fics was because I wanted to make others happy. I wanted to write comforting stories that help people on the days they feel bad or give them stories that show realistic recovery without a "get out of jail free" card.
Sometimes a happy ending is a perfect life, but just a good day<3 And sometimes that's enough.
As a small disclaimer: If an author wants to write a perfectly happy ending or an absolutely sad ending, they absolutely should! I love stories like that as well! It's just not what I always write/read and that's okay :)
Escapism
For many people, they write happy endings simply because their life isn't going great. Because love or happiness or human connection doesn't feel attainable in real life and leaves them feeling perpetually lonely.
Happy endings give this escape where they can feel that, or at least see characters who do. Like fantasy readers who read things to get away from the modern world, many others may read happy endings because things don't feel happy right now (or like it ever will be).
I think that's why a lot of people like happy endings. And even though things in my life are going well right now, there are times were it isn't and happy endings gave me a sense of control and escape.
Subjectiveness of Experience
I'd also add that for a lot of people, their life is happy and they do get those ideal relationships Keith [in my fics] has. So, they may write/read those works because they're relatable. For a lot of people, love may be very easy to come by and it can be very real to them, though not for other people sadly.
For one person, reading my happy ending fics may seem completely unrealistic, but for another, it can be entirely relatable or feasible. Either way, both those people are valid and it's all about the individuals experience!
In my experience personally, people absolutely can love, support, and give attention to a loved one like Keith in my fics. I've given many of my friends that and they've given me the same treatment even when I'm difficult :')
And if it helps, I personally think all love is conditional. I don't think anyone can truly love someone without conditions in some way. But I also don't think that's a bad thing all the time.
I also don't think that all love/friendships lasts forever, and that's also okay. Sometimes life is about appreciating who you have now in the moment and not attaching the importance of the relationship on if it'll last forever. People grow; people move on; people fight; people die. But in the end, your experience that you have with them now is what's matters. A relationship doesn't have to (and often doesn't) last forever for it to be meaningful.
My fics take place within short time periods (as they're oneshots), so there's no guarantee that Keith's support will last forever, but I just know it lasts for that fic.
At least that's my philosophy with love :')<3 And it keeps me happy while staying realistic!
I'm sorry you've experienced so much loneliness and hurt :(<3 You don't deserve that and finding connection and love can be so difficult. I can't guarantee that it will happen to you, but I hope it does!
If you want me to be honest with you, I actually really struggle with intimacy. I don't talk to many people about it because its uncomfortable, but its true.
The thought of experiencing the deeply intimate things that I give Keith in fanfictions makes me uncomfortable and nervous. Even if the love is real and genuine, accepting it feels hard and weird.
So, I actually read/write a lot of Keith-centric fanfictions because I see someone who also has that fear of intimacy, but I can make him become happy and comfortable with it, whereas with myself, its much more difficult.
Romance stories feel like a place I can go to and experience things I don't like or feel comfortable experiencing myself. And yes, I have opportunities to experience what Keith has, but I don't take them because its too much.
Fiction is a safe distance where I can project things I'd want if it wasn't so hard, where I can see myself in someone, and where I can indulge in intimacy without all the personal complications with it.
I hope that answers your question<3 and I really am here if you want to DM! 🥰🥰
(Cut-off for those who don't want a long post when reblogging)
Fandom hot-take?
Fandom cold-take?
Favorite part of fandom?
Least favorite part of fandom?
What are your favorite relationship dynamics/tropes?
What tags do you often read?
What tags do you tend not read?
Weird writing advice?
Weird writing habit(s) you have?
What do you use to write with?
How much do you research your fics?
Something surprising about you that you think others wouldn't expect?
Something that isn't surprising that you think most others would expect?
Favorite blogs and/or Tumblr users?
What advice do you have for people getting into fandom?
What advice do you have for people starting to write fics?
Do you have a writing/uploading schedule?
How do you get into a writing mindset or what triggers it?
What fic did you think you wouldn't be into because of the content/tags that you fell in love with hard?
What are your favorite niche NSFW tags?
As a note, please be kind to one another! Question seven isn't an opening to be mean, harrass others, or be hateful; I trust you all to be kind with my little list :)
Also, please don't be afraid to ask me these questions! It'd make my day and I absolutely love inbox questions 🥹❤️
Title: 1-2-3
Author: rosegardenlake
Rating: M
Category: M/M (note: Keith's friend group is more involved than his romantic interest)
Brief Desc: Even if things were going right around you, that doesn't always mean things feel right on the inside. You feel wrong. So wrong that Keith sometimes considers not existing anymore. Even if he had good friends, family, and school was going okay, he felt like he was drowning.
Cut-off for full fic review!
I don't read usually read Sheith or short-angst stories, but my friends who do heavily suggested this story and I was not disappointed!
First off, holy moly: The writing quality and ability to portray feelings and struggle is absolutely amazing. Usually, I don't feel emotional or feel what characters are feeling, but for this story, I was feeling it. Multiple times I paused and my heart clenched for Keith.
It felt really great reading a story where a character has depression simply because they have depression.
Sometimes, depression just exists and tears you apart whether things are "going well" or not. And sometimes, even your "perfect" family isn't perfect when you're hurting and when your feeling aren't "justified".
Also, the support he does recieve from his friends is sweet and realistic but also sad. Watching a loved one become progressively more hopeless is a uniquely anxiety-inducing and helpless feeling that this author captures so so well.
Another thing I noticed and seriously admired was the pacing. Watching Keith become more and more tired and drained made me feel like I was also feeling his dread. Esepcially when he tried to reach out and wasn't getting help.
Everything is written in such a raw and genuine way. It feels like you're really just watching someone while you're in the room. I feel like I'm reading a person, like a human-being, and not only a character.
Besides the fantastic depression depictions, the romantic interactions are also super cute (and also realistic with depression).
Keith being excited and nervous around Shiro is endearing and made me smile so wide. It just felt really sweet and I love when characters are bashful.
But besides the cuteness of it, watching how his elevating depression impacts his excitement with Shiro later on crushed me again. It gives this morbid layer of complexity that just hurts; crushes don't fix depression, nor are they depression's exception.
The ending was written so well that gave me a sense of comfort. I think I teared up to be honest. It just feels so REAL.
Overall, absolutely owns my heart and has a special place in it now. I highly recommend this. If you love angst, love everyday people struggling with painful things, and just appreciate genuine and beautiful writing, you'll like this.
Thank you @roylustang and @keithstits for reccing this!
Tags:
I've reached a small follower goal and to celebrate, I thought I'd share some of my favorite mutuals :)
@always-the-same-situation / My First Tumblr Mutual and Bestie!
@occasionaleverything / Role Model #1, Taught Me Fandom Culture
@roylustang / Role Model #2, Taught Me to Write Whatever I Want
@killingbirdjack / Amazing Artist and Amazing Person
@jazznsadzz / So Creative and Huge Freak
@stellar-starlet / My Wife and Reading Partner
@hellismytboycunt / My Freak and Very Cool and Unashamed
Thank you everyone for following and sticking around this long 🥰🥰 and thank you to my mutuals for being my friends and making my days better!
Tags: Binge-eating disorder, recovery, therapist Coran, Lance is a good boyfriend.
Notes: I know I havent uploaded in a bit, but this is gonna be a long one!
Speaking to him felt so serious, yet unserious at the same time. Like a juxtaposition.
"Uhhh…" He hesitated, giving a glance at Lance who made an encouraging gesture for him to speak more. Sighing, he brought his legs closer to his chair before continuing, "Stress? I guess? I don't know. Kinda whenever I feel strongly about things,"
Which was a lot.
Coran gave more nods and scribbled more things down, "I see, I see. And what are some examples of what a stressful situation looks like for you?"
Each question felt like peeling apart more and more layers that he tried desperately to hide, and he didn't like it.
"Things that remind me of my pops," Food, smells, places, anniversary deaths. Almost every time any of those popped up, he just isn't able to stop.
OF COURSE RANDOM PERSON WHO WASN'T ME! That's such a great idea only a great, smart person could give...
If anyone wants to request anything, look at my guidelines here!
Note: This oneshot isn't a diagnosis :') Please don't treat it like one and look at actual resources; mental disorders are more complex than a short Tumblr post or TikTok 🙂↕️No matter how much you relate to them
Keith felt his heart race while his breathing picked up. He couldn't stop fixating on his thoughts and they were driving him crazy. For the past eight hours it's been the same fucking thing.
Panic swelled in his chest as he tried to think it over-- did he hurt James? Was he a bad boyfriend? Did he secretly abuse James and didn't know it? Was James dishonest or didn't know any better?
Tears welled in his eyes as he scrolled past a message he sent to James during a disagreement. It was petty; basically Keith pushing James away and acting moody, saying something among the lines of "Can you just leave me alone?"
In the moment, he said it because he was overwhelmed and anxious. James seemed exasperated but told him to take his time. Either way, they ended up talking about it and Keith apologized. James said that he was fine and he was just worried. It was small.
But now Keith felt terrible.
What if that was emotional abuse and James doesn't realize? He needs to check.
Before he could stop himself, he went on Google and looked up signs of emotional abuse in relationships. He was on articles... then Reddit... Then threads... Then Quotev... All of which provided him with more uncertainty.
Yeah, he was emotional-- did that make him abusive? He did get snappy at times. Someone said that was abusive and other people said it wasn't. How did he know he wasn't abusing James? He pushed him away-- was he punishing James? No, no. He was just stressed... But what if he was secretly punishing James and forgot about it? And regardless of intentions, can't he still be abusive?
Does James just put up with it? Maybe he doesn't realize... People on Reddit said they didn't realize their exes were abusive until later.
He needed to make sure.
Between all his thinking and anxiety flipping in his chest, he didn't hear James walk up from behind him.
"Baby? What are you doing?"
Keith jumped at the sudden voice in the room. He turned around from where he stood in the kitchen, James looking at his tear stricken face and shaky hands with concern in the doorway.
Wiping his tears away rapdily, he weakly dismissed his concern with, "Nothing, I'm fine," Then turned away to hide his face.
James frowned, walking up to his boyfriend before turning him around by his shoulders. "You aren't fine, you're crying. Seriously, what's the matter?" He held Keith's chin, his eyes analyzing for something that told him why Keith looked like he just killed a man.
Guilt hit Keith like a tidal wave-- he couldn't tell James. That was manipulative. He wouldn't be honest about if he hurt him if he asked and saw him crying.
But he also wanted the reassurance...
But what if he was lying?
"Keith." James gave him a gentle shoulder shake, making him jump. His face softened but he repeated the question, "What's wrong? Say something. Come on..." He coaxed softly, brushing a thumb against Keith's cheek.
For a moment, Keith just stood there and sniffled, unable to look James in the eye. He wanted to keep quiet, but his anxiety was too high-- he needed to ask.
"I think I'm abusive..." He murmured out wetly, the lining of his eyes red whereas his face was painted like that of a guilty puppy.
James' eyebrows flew up his face. "Wow-- that was not what I was expecting. Why do you think that?" He asked.
Keith's shoulders shook, the anxiety and shame swirling in him. Why couldn't he just be a good person?
The little bit of composure he had snapped. Tears rolled down his cheek as his voice got tighter and he started breaking down, "I-I to-ld you t-to leave me-me alone a fe-few months ago a-and I didn't real-ize h-how horrible I wa-was--" He blubbered out with hiccuping sobs only for his shoulders to shake harder in pure sadness and guilt.
Nothing he did ever felt right.
Then, he was suddenly brought into a bone crushing hug. A small, choked gasp was pulled from him as his head was tucked into James' neck like he was protecting him from the world-- his thoughts.
"Oh Keith, you're being weird again." He ran a hand through his dark locks as he swayed him back and forth, the gentle motion shaking some anxiety out of Keith.
The familiar tease accompanied by the caring, tender action made him absolutely melt with a wobbly lip.
"I'm just so ex-exhausted," He sniffled, resting his cheek against James. If there was one thing Keith didn't like, it was self-pity, but right now everything just felt so unfair.
James hushed him wordlessly, pressing his lips against his temple. "I know, I know... You need to take your meds and listen to your therapist, baby." Of course: Keith wasn't the best listener.
The words made him feel small, making him tuck his face into James more. He knows he did-- he knows. It's just hard...
"I'm sorry..." He managed to croak out, soaking in the way James held him in a way he felt like he didn't deserve.
Shaking his head, James smoothed his bangs over before placing a soft kiss on his head. "Stop. You're fine." His voice hissed out only for his arms to squeeze Keith again.
Oddly enough, James bothered, yet caring attitude did more than expected for Keith's anxiety. It wasn't reassurance, which was good since his therapist said that was bad to ask for, but it wasn't dismissal either. It was something in-between.
"Why is this so hard?" Even though he was asking, he already heard the answer in various forms. It was OCD, it was hardwork, it was a learned behavior, it was--
"Because you think too much and you need to stop," He pulled away and gripped Keith's shoulders firmly. Keith sniffled and looked at him timidly. "I love you. You're fine, Keith. So just let me hug you, okay?" His hand cupped his face with a fierceness that left Keith unable to doubt him.
Hesitantly, Keith wrapped his arms around him and muttered, "Okay... Thank you..." A wet sniffle came from his nose when James squeezed him.
"There ya go... I'm here for you..." He kissed the side of his head.
Kit's soulful words leave an emotional depth that's healing to all. They're not afraid to get gritty with their writing.
It's an honour to have Kit as part of our line up for Domestic Days. Ask them anything! But not too much, we heard they might be a little anxious. (⸝⸝> ᴗ•⸝⸝)
