rivulets

if they make bishova cannon i will delete

[thatiswhenitbecameadream]

The music still has shapes.

[thatiswhenitbecameadream]

I don’t understand what I am feeling nor do I have any capacity to process it right now

[thatiswhenitbecameadream]

All I can think about is fucking you.

I hate it when this happens because all i’ll feel is lonely with a capital H and tired.

[thatiswhenitbecameadream]

I’ve been stuck at my parent’s house for the past 2 weeks and it hadn’t rained since.

Tonight, as i was waiting for my dad to pick me up from fuckass public transport, it finally started raining, and it was pathetic. Drizzles were weak, and it might as well have not rained. So unsatisfying and disappointing.

And my dad, to his everlasting discredit, showed up on the other side, the side i usually waited at, which was the opposite side of where i was standing, which is so funny because

~

Had such a rotten day at work that i came home crying.

[thatiswhenitbecameadream]

Had a dream iwas at my intern office again visitin yus and it was fancier than i remembered, with all the snobby privileged people

[thatiswhenitbecameadream]

Had a dream i was a kid again in my old house, sleeping on the floor of my parents’ bedroom with my middle and youngest brother, and it’s crazy how that was years ago and that house doesn’t exist anymore and we are so far away from each other but I still remember how that moment looked.

[thatiswhenitbecameadream]

So lonely.

[thatiswhenitbecameadream]

It should have been you.

I wish you liked me just a little bit more.

You didn’t even save my number.

[thatiswhenitbecameadream]

I feel so alone.

[thatiswhenitbecameadream]

Stop being weird, she just wants to be friends

[thatiswhenitbecameadream]

Men get everything and still have nothing to show for it.

[thatiswhenitbecameadream]

Dreamt of her again, this time we were going up my apartment but in separate lifts, and I reached out to her to ask if what she was doing later. She was holding a bike helmet and I could see the hesitation in her eyes.

[thatiswhenitbecameadream]

Woman who said she likes men gave me eyes again 🥱

[thatiswhenitbecameadream]

Had a dream about her this morning. I was visiting her “house” for raya, met her mother and sisters. She wore a green baju kurung. I kept trying to make a move on her, hold her hand. She wasn’t really up to it. It was only towards the end that her hand searched for mine. Her hand felt warm.

[thatiswhenitbecameadream]

Dreamt i was in a fantastical world, dark too, i was planning a heist with my friends. Like a T*m Burt*n meet HP world.

^sh was there too, auditor.

[thatiswhenitbecameadream]

Dreamt of her again this morning, i guess because I really missed her last night.

I can’t remember what happened in the dream, but i remember seeing her face. She was annoyed.

Time sure is taking its sweet time erasing you.

[thatiswhenitbecameadream]

A lot of crying today.

I miss her. She doesn’t think of me.