The most frustrating thing about the events of the last week, no, the last two years, no, Â the last two decades, is the willful ignorance that it takes to so completely and blatantly miss the point.
The desperation to over-explain would be laughable if it wasnât so devious.
Alton Sterling was a career criminal they say. Â He was a convicted sex offender, they say. Â He had an illegal firearm. Â
Weâve heard the same words spoken about Michael Brown or Travyon Martin, the clouding of someoneâs personal history on a public stage.
And then when then the convenient facts arenât sufficient, as in the case of Philando Castile or Tamir Rice, who was all of twelve years old when he was gunned down, thatâs when statistics are brought up.
Because statistically, they say, these police killings are aberrations. Â
And what about all the non-black victims of police brutality? Â Letâs bring up Dylan Noble, turn his young life lost too soon into a hashtag to prove our point.Â
And, of course, thereâs the ever-popular black-on-black crime - why is no one protesting that?
And then throw in an âAll Lives Matter,â the ultimate band-aid to cover up our nationâs ugly wounds.  All Lives Matter is a patronizing pat on the head to the black community.  Itâs like when someone asks you how you are, but you can tell that they donât really care.
And at the end of the day, this is all a deflect. Â
Itâs pretending not to hear the question when you full well know the answer.
Itâs demonizing an ex-girlfriend when you know full well it was your fault you broke up.
Itâs walking down the street towards a homeless person and not looking them in the eye, because you know that if you do, theyâll ask you for money.
Because if we can ignore the pain and the struggle and the downright ugly injustice that others face, we think, maybe it will disappear.
Except for when it doesnât.
Except for when it boils to the surface in an explosion of ugly and callous violence.
Cue the explanations. Â And the facts. Â The statistics. Â The backstories. Â The speculation.
Because if you do not or cannot acknowledge that there are people in our country that are systematically abused, disenfranchised, and held down as second-class citizens, that civil rights is not a thing of the 60âČs, that there are citizens of our country that fear for their lives every day that they leave their home, well, thatâs the problem.
And I would bet that there are family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, strangers on the bus with mountains of anecdotal evidence to change your mind.
Listen to them. Â Perhaps thatâs the first step.
I donât know where we are going to go from here as a nation. Â With the next election upcoming, itâs a scary prospect.
And I donât know where each of us can go as individuals. Â I think that, in the wake of every national tragedy, oftentimes the best first response is to think and listen.
And then, of course, once you have done both of those things, to act.
For me that action looks like stepping out from behind the excuses and the explanations. Â
To look people in the eye, acknowledge their pain, and figure out what I can do to make their lives better. Â
I donât know what that looks like yet. Â But I know I need to find out.
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