Arthur Lester's Left Shoe @thatoneanon20 - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
Arthur Lester's Left Shoe
@thatoneanon20
He/him || 22yo || ita/eng || aspiring writer, artist || AuDHD || currently obsessing over OCs, Suitor Armor, Drehmal, MERCY and PHM/Iron Lung || If you like my art and writing, consider supporting me on Ko-Fi!
I passed my last exam for this month and. Uh. I watched some compilations on YouTube of Markiplier and there were specific photos and I was like "oh Simon in this". And I started drawing.
I want to specify that I didn't think about making something realistic, since I haven't drawn realism or studied light and color values since I was 14, so I didn't want to make something uncanny valley by mistake.
peeling those sour rainbow gummy strips into long thin strings and putting them into cheap energy drink to create something im calling battery acid spaghetti will update once ive finished it
Since it's Disability Pride Month, I thought I'd make a post about the party and their associated disabilities. The character art for this post was commissioned from the wonderful @goldiation <3
(See below the cut for a lil' ramble and a disclaimer on the language use in this post)
WARNING - this post contains potential spoilers! Proceed with caution☠️
DOCTOR DAISY GRAY: Autism, ADHD/ADHD-traits, Severe Alexithymia
Growing up, Daisy was regarded as 'uncannily gifted', and often found other children insufferable and tedious. Social cues, etiquette, and emotions are concepts that consistently elude her, and though she enjoys being somewhat of an iconoclast, she still masks and has anxieties regarding the people she cares about.
Daisy also possesses ADHD traits, which causes her to seek out dopamine-inducing activities. This includes seeking out novel experiences, (dangerous) knowledge, and throwing herself into perilous situations. (This predilection for danger may or may not have put her in the path of a certain eldritch entity.)
LILA SASSOON: CPTSD, Anxiety, Depression
Lila has nightmares & extremely vivid dreams of 'unknowable things' that causes her to sleepwalk. These dreams can linger well into her waking hours, which has her questioning the state of her reality and memories.
Fluctuating bouts of anxiety and depression has persisted into her adulthood, and even now she slips into episodes when going through difficult events. And in her social interactions (of which there are many), our lovely librarian has a tendency to mask and script for Reasons™. While she does enjoy talking to people and socializing in general, it takes a mental & physical toll on her.
Lila also suffers from mild chronic pain that is seemingly random and without explanation. While long hot baths and rest are ideal, she finds the most comfort in her books, writing, and of course, Daisy.
LORD PAXTON CROSS: PTSD, BPD/BPD-traits, Depression, Chronic Pain (TBI/CRPS), Cane & Wheelchair User
Paxton was wounded in action during the Civil War which left him with chronic pain and reduced mobility - predominantly in his left leg. And upon his return from the war, he experienced acute PTSD and severe depression that took years to recover from.
Paxton's internalized ableism gives him a complex about using his wheelchair in public: while his cane could be mistaken as a fashion accessory or a clever disguise for his blade, a wheelchair makes his disability undeniably visible.
Fear of abandonment, emotional dysregulation, and intense emotional attachments has caused him to become the black sheep in every facet of his life. Past romantic entanglements have always been intensely passionate and all-consuming - and painfully, distressingly brief.
WAYNE SAWYER: PTSD, ADHD, Dyslexia, Dyscalculia
Wayne never enjoyed school, since he was constantly punished and mocked for his difficulty with letters & numbers, absentmindedness & poor emotional regulation.
Despite having a natural intelligence and giftedness in subjects such as creative arts (drawing and music), trade work, engineering/mechanics, agriculture, etc. he was always made to feel impotent in a household that valued a specific type of intelligence.
Wayne also struggles with PTSD-induced anxiety and panic attacks, as well as bouts of derealization & depersonalization that can persist for weeks and months at a time.
[Ramble under the cut]
MERCY came about at a time when I was diagnosed as ADHD (w/ suspected dyscalculia and CPTSD). More recently in June, I was additionally diagnosed with autism, which has been extremely validating and debilitating. During this intensely destabilizing period, being able to write about these experiences through these characters has proven to be an valuable source of comfort and connection that comes rarely - and one I don't take for granted.
Of course, our characters aren't great. They are problematic, ableist, and hold a lot of internalized ableism that severely impacts their relationships and self-worth. But as they find compassion and accommodations for each other, they too might develop compassion and accommodations for themselves. As it is in real life, where we must dismantle our preconceptions & prejudices and rebuild anew.
Though disabilities are as diverse as the folk who have them, I think there is an overall shared experience of existing in a society that is both visibly and intangibly inhospitable to us. Always cast as the other, the unwelcome, the invisible, the afterthought, the broken and wrong. Something to be amended rather than considered.
Our shows are by and for and about the other. It's why we chose the name we did, and why we will continue to tell the stories we do. I know I can speak for the team when I say that our hope is for people to find comfort, catharsis, and community in MERCY - as much as we did, and continue to, in the process of making the show.
Disclaimer on the language: I know some folk are of the stance that using the term 'disability' is ableist or not neuro-affirming. While I do agree, until the reigning paradigm undergoes drastic change where ability is not measured against capitalistic worth, the reality is we will continue to be 'disabled' by society, our environment, and the imposed systems we exist within.
Tomorrow I have the last exam for this season. if I succeed, I'll paint something Iron Lung themed. Idk if with watercolors (which I'm more proficient with) or with acrylics (that I dispised all my life but I wanted to test a technique out regardless if it's Iron Lung or not)
Here I present you Wax, my eridian oc! They're made of purple labradorite and they're 482yo at the time Rocky gets back, so around 65ish human years? They're one of the most patient eridian on the planet, to annoy them is truly a miracle. They're a tattoo artist that lived their life between very bad places and finally decided to put their life together when their mate died.
Started my fanfiction as a funny "what if Simon read Project Hail Mary" and it became "what if I made Simon question his entire existence and the faith he was indoctrinated with with a side of insexplicable horror and Venom-like shit going on"
Worst possible iteration of “Stratt Grace and Carl all end up on the Hail Mary” is the coma fails for Stratt and Carl just like it does for Ilyukinha and Yao and Grace has to go through THEIR personal effects before he remembers them and all of the photos Carl has with him and all of the sneaky candids he’d taken of Grace with Stratt and all of their little personal memories and realizing all too quickly that he can’t remember these people, but he’s pretty sure he loved them. And judging by their things, the mug he vaguely remembers buying for Carl with “worlds best (astrophage) dad” on it, the fox keychain tucked between Stratt’s sweaters he thinks might’ve been his, once, the few shots of Stratt smiling at Grace while his back was turned and the stack of… coffee receipts? That Carl kept? (Two venti blacks, quad shot, an earl grey and an iced strawberry matcha with double syrup) they just might have loved him back. Before he really even remembers his name, or anything about himself, he thinks he was loved.
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