[gay-slime]

The “fake water” you see on the road when it’s super hot is actually just a unloaded chunk

[oakstairs]

me driving down the street in the summer: wow the lag… :/

[vodcar]

country gnomes,

take my bones

[cryptidfuckery]

to a place,

they don't belong

[sickjacket]

who wants to fling my awful body into the sun

[sickjacket]

unbelievable. i have to do everything myself

[full-metal-furies]

[1920′s gangster voice] every single one’a you’s…… every single one’a you’s is valid…….

[goodboygustav]

t’anks boss 

[lunacyiero]

anyone else ever daydream for 6 hours straight and then after ur just like nah let’s scrap that and do it all again but slightly to the left

[astudyingreer]

my brain: *out of breath* Was that good?!

Me in a beret, taking a long draft from a cigarette and leaning back in my director’s chair: once again, from the top, this time with feeling

[kidrat]

brain: u gotta be… The Best™

me: ok so we’ll work hard then?

brain: no work… only Best.

[rabdoidal]

im a bar of soap and God is an instagram girl with acrylic nails and a box cutter

[oknope]

Everyone: If you keep listening to your music so loudly you'll be deaf by the time you're 20

Me: What

[automodownremade-deactivated202]

reblog to add +10 haunting power to your ghost when you die

[jokesarefunny]

i aint risking being a weak ass ghost

[stephendann]

Reblog for a +2 to visibility to cats when nothing else can see you

[agrownwomansromance-deactivated]

[oknope]

dog: BARK

me (with the same tone and volume): WHAT

[just-shower-thoughts]

The Grinch was taught as a child to wear clothes. At some point, up on Mount crumpit, he just said, screw it, it’s nakey time from here on out.

[birthdaylobotomy]

im….real? my existence has… impacts? i touch things and they move, i breath in and out and the air buzzes around me? the sun rests on my skin…. grass is crushed under my toes… people see me and have an idea of who i am… my name is on papers….? im sorry this is… this is too much….  

[straightmansummer]

my spotify algorithm: finally!! I know what music you like!

me: (listens to “Take Me Home, Country Roads” for an hour)

my spotify algorithm:

[melonmemes]

[theybby-deactivated20231001]

[oneheadtoanother]