You are a deity newly ascended. Your predecessor has perished, and their domain (now yours) is in shambles. Instead of repairing it first, you went down to the world and did the dirty practical work instead of the grandiose, aloof things other deities do.
"All rise," the All-King spoke, and the heavenly host rose.
Then a sweet-smelling smoke approached me, signifying that I was accepting offerings.
That I was a god.
After the ascension ceremony, the newly-appointed God of Vineyards descended to the mortal realm. It was unprecedented, and unexpected—Some would even say foolish—for the previous Vineyard God had just perished and their domain in shambles. Still, it was not the business of the other gods.
"Let them rot," many said.
One of their servants kindly accompanied me, someone from the God of Roads. The strange servant's power was a deterrent, for I had no host yet to call upon. It was in ruins.
My appearance to the mortals was a surprise.
The way that worship happened was as followed: The mortals create an altar to connect to the heavens,a way for gods to come down, and they sent offerings to both feed us and to make requests.
Gods did not do things without offerings. But I was not such a god.
Here and there, I helped vineyards prosper, healed the sickened branches, pruned them, made good fruit, killed the weeds. Initially, the mortals had keot their distance, but as more and more vineyards were helped, the mortals grew used to me.
They began to teach me things. Things that gods did not need. Technologies, methods that the mortals needed just to mimic a fraction of what a god could do.
But I listened all the same. I was not such a god.
With my presence, the knowledge of gods grew more solid in the minds of humanity. They knew I existed. Kings and princes would seek me out, the borrowed servant standing at attention, but along the way, I understood a part of why gods did not descend so often.
Humans were needy.
They began offering incense, harvests of grain, young calves and lambs, all sweet-smelling smoke to the gods. They asked of many things; forgiveness, fertility, abundance, protection, the death of their enemies. Small things, little things, let this child live, may my lice disappear, may my neighbor's son feel an itch exactly four seconds every morning. All sorts of things.
I had told them of my domain, that I was but a God of Vineyards, but many did not believe. To them, I was the only god.
The one true god.
The servant was strong, powerful, but I felt it cruel to use such power on mortals. I was not such a god.
I had done my best, even reaching past the greatest interpretations of my responsibility as the God of Vineyards, but I was still hounded.
Eventually, the other gods grew tired of this. They've gone hungry, the offerings at their feet, the sweet-smelling scents, much of it had gone to me.
So they complained to the All-King.
And so I was summoned back to the heavens, the servant left behind on the mortal realm. An assembly of gods had been called.
"Lord!" the other gods exclaimed. "The God of Vineyards has taken our offerings!"
The complaints went on for hours, many of them talking of specific incidents, of specific people, all details about how their followers had been drawn to me. How I had trespassed against the God of Harvests by producing more fruit. Or against the God of Rain by making plump, juicy grapes that let men survive deserts. Or against the God of War by distracting enemies from attacking each other. So on and so forth.
They said this in spite of me discouraging it all, of me not accepting offerings. But gods were not able to reject offerings, for they were given by mortals themselves. Smoke went where it was directed.
In that, I was just like every other god.
Eventually, the tensions had dissipated, each grievance spoken aloud, and then the All-King spoke.
"Fools!" the All-King had said. "You know that the hearts of mankind are fickle, and yet you are mad when another of you had approached them, making their hearts turned? Truly, it is not surprising. If you were threatened in truth, you would have descended by yourselves and worked amongst humanity!"
And so the All-King had reproached them for doing nothing. They all grumbled, and yet could not do much. Their complaints were shown to be foolish.
Indeed, the days after the assembly of gods, many had accompanied me to the mortal realm.
In truth, my disappearance and reappearance with the gods made it seem as if I had beckoned them to the world. It made it seem to mankind that I was powerful, above them all. And though the mortal realm now knew that the other gods were here, their sweet-smelling offerings still went to me on occasion.
But I was but a God of Vineyards.
There are many things that gods did not need, or so they thought. With the rebuke of the All-King, the other gods were made aware of their need of connection. No more distant worship, nor distant punishments.
No, the gods now work face to face.
As for I?
I was still just a humble God of Vineyards.











