I shitpost, mostly

[liath-art]

Decided to do a quick Among Us comic. For all the pets left out there waiting at the meeting room for their parent’s return.

[comfydarkme]

I sit with my grief. I mother it. I hold its small, hot hand. I don’t say, shhh. I don’t say, it's okay. I wait until it is done having feelings. Then we stand and we go wash the dishes.

-- Callista Buchen, from Taking Care

[rugifs]

[dsd57993215]

Never forget the tea on this from Willam that it was his team that lost this challenge. he felt he was responsible instead of the Princess, so he volunteered to lipsync for her. Without looking at even looking at her, Ru told Willam that she was “going off-script”. So, she just walked off and said bye. Everything prior to that bye was cut.

[hobnob-69]

Freedom of speech is a big no no

[best-of-memes]

[thtrwrr-deactivated20220422]

OKAY but like the woman is a super famous sculptor herself. Two major players in their own respective industries and they don’t know it! What are the chances? Life is amazing!

[sheldrakus]

Ok, so I flipped back through the notes to find the name of the artist who isn’t Jay Z - she’s Ellen Grossman and it turns out her work is massively cool! She makes drawings and sculptures that look like delicate lace or something, but are actually based on topographic maps and scientific data - ‘the sensuous aspects of water currents, land masses and the wind made visible’. I THINK SHE MAY BE A WIZARD. Anyway, check it out - ellengrossman.com

[soulofasub]

It’s amazing that this woman is famous in her own right, but just for a moment I wanna point out that when she didn’t know the man next to her from a hole in the ground, she was still so immediately all about his success.  “I’m proud of you.” What a great person.

[durnesque-esque]

Some of Ellen’s work.

[the-real-numbers-deactivated202]

FB plant purge groups are really interesting because they're using Facebook to do something Facebook wasn't designed for, which is buy and sell plants. Someone will be like "should I make cuttings of this and sell for $10 apiece?" And it will have 238 comments, 85% of which are just the letter 'F'.

And they're not saying "rip plant", it's an evolution of commenting "I'm commenting to follow this post" on the post, so that Facebook gives you notifications about other discussions on the post, like if OP is going to sell or not, or if they start selling right there. Eventually it became "following" and then just "f". And like, maybe there's a way to follow a post without commenting, but it's just an endlessly fascinating example of online communities and the ways they adapt to survive. It's neat!

[the-real-numbers-deactivated202]

there’s also posts which say “ISO [plant name]” which means “in search of” and people will comment photos of the plants they’re selling with the prices. If op likes the plant, they comment “sold” and exchange dms with the commenter. If OP DOESNT want the plant, they fucking like the comment to let others know it’s safe to comment “sold”. What a weird adaptation

[n-bunz]

this feels like that stock market scene in ferris buellers day off where the weird hand signals allegedly mean something

[the-real-numbers-deactivated202]

It gets better; sometimes impatient scalpers will go onto a commented photo of a plant where OP commented "sold" and say "next", and the un/written rule is that if OP hasn't DM'd / paid the seller in 24h, the seller can start communicating with the scalper. Or; if the seller has multiples, they can dm the scalper or comment other photos of plants in that thread.

Also, speaking of the DM rule, there's purges, where sellers make a post with a list of what they're selling and declare a time that the purge is going to start. At that time, sellers start commenting photos of the plants they're getting rid of and the same 24h DM sold/next rules apply. sometimes, you even have to send a screenshot of the photo of the commented plant photo with you being the first to comment sold. Lmao its wild.

So then we get into variegated territory. Plants with unusual color mutations like albinism are highly coveted, and you'll find unrooted cuttings of albinated monsteras for propagation going for as high as 300 USD, and never below 100. Whole plants are usually upwards of $800, and even leafless monstera stem clippings (which are HIGHLY UNLIKELY TO SURVIVE because they lack a fucking leaf, and even may or may not include a node for roots to come out of) get sold for like $80 or more. And they actually sell. It's fucking insane

[nonamenonewhatsoever]

[lovebugcody]

In case you guys don’t have Twitter.

IF YOU SUPPORT THE PAUL BROTHERS FUCK OFF AND UNFOLLOW ME RIGHT NOW. IF YOU DEFEND THIS I WILL REPORT AND BLOCK YOU BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS NOT OKAY.

I myself haven’t yet gone to look for this video because my watch will be a view he doesn’t deserve. Please don’t go searching for this STILL MONETISED video if you are sensitive or if seeing a dead body makes you feel ill.

This is appalling that someone like this can do this and I honestly don’t have the words for it.

(Featured tweets; @therealjacksepticeye, @wiishu, @crankgameplays, @girbea brizzyvoices, Mortemer, HoodiePanda and GlitchGameplaysYT)

(I posted this before but only 1 pic posted. Let’s try again)

[crpl-pnk]

draw stick figures. sing off key. write bad poems. sew ugly clothes. run slowly. flirt clumisly. play video games on easy. you do not need to be good at something to enjoy the act. talent is overrated. do things you like doing. it’s ok to suck

[longscarydream]

jesus christ yall dont play video games on easy oh my god

[surferskaterwbu-blog]

You never play a video game on easy no matter how hard it is to get through.

[crpl-pnk]

my least favorite thing that happens on this post is people who support it- except when it comes to the thing they’re good at gamers say “never play on easy” artists say “sing off key but for the love of god no stick figures” singers say “all this but if you can’t sing keep your mouth shut” you know what? i know your type. you’re all jerks & you’re not fun to be around. have fun jacking off to the concept of superiority at your wet blanket convention. i’ll be over here actually enjoying myself

[shitarou]

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THOSE IN THE BACK. This is my mantra

[greyhyms-deactivated20220506]

not that i’d actually wanna live in a different time period, thanks very much, but also lately im vibing the idea of being born hundreds years ago when an army trudges through my city and kills all my loved ones and i must assume a male disguise in order to seek revenge in this male-dominated society so i cut my hair short and slick it back and join the army and learn how to use a big heavy broadsword and i soon have a reputation as a great swordsman which is only overpowered by my reputation as a great lover despite the fact i never take all my clothes off but i still manage to get all the women and the other guys in my regiment can’t figure out how i’m so good with them but i just gotta shrug and play up the ladies man thing until one day i meet a princess of the blood and im charged with protecting her on a journey out of the capital but we get separated from the rest of the regiment and i start developing feelings for her because she’s spunky but i know It Can Never Be for a number of reasons and then one night she catches me bathing in the moonlight and i instinctively draw my sword because No One Can Know My Womanly Secret but also she’s the princess and also also now i’m in love with her so i simply hand the sword over but she throws it aside with a clatter and throws herself at me and we make love by the lakeside and the next day i put on my soldiers gear and we keep moving wondering what the future will hold when the enemy horde comes upon us and i defend her but am outnumbered when suddenly our separated guards catch up and we fight the invaders and i kill the man who slaughtered my family because he is conveniently part of this regiment and we’re all happy for our victory but i still look sadly at the princess because It Can Still Never Be and i must take her to the capital to meet her betrothed and we kiss and make love sadly in a tent one last time but then we finally reach the city it turns out her fiance is a huge Gay too and has a huge entourage of gays following him around and brushing lint out of his fur coats and he hires me to be the queen’s bodyguard wink wink nudge nudge and i meet her nightly using a secret passageway under the castle and also i get a really cool new sword and history doesnt remember me as anything more than a friend to the queen until centuries later when a bunch of love letters are found in a secret compartment under the castle by a lesbian librarian who was researching the local history and she falls in love with the lady castle tour guide as they bond over an interest in our love story the end 

[satcgifs]

[troutlawyer]

Girls I Find Sexy

Gryffindor: The ginger snap girls who are sweet and spicy and leave you wanting more.

Ravenclaw: The far-off girls who take you with them to the places in their mind.

Hufflepuff: The autumn girls who love cheesy things because they’re cheesy.

Slytherin: The witty girls who tease and play and frustrate you and love you.

[awesome-picz]

Cats That Don’t Care About Your Personal Space

[deducecanoe-deactivated20161213]

Accurate portrayal of my life.

[albertothechihuahua]

this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!

[jaxblade]

ehh what the hell

[jaxblade]

OH MY GOD SO NO FUCKIN BULLSHIT I SWEAR To GOD. I reblogged this an hour ago and IM NOT Lying My Tax Refund which I did in late march popped into my Bank Account, and it was a Decent sized amount……

WHAT THE FUCK Is THIS MAGIC!??!?!?! Im trying this again IM NOT BSing hahahaha thats actually pretty cool xD

[jaxblade]

yooooo

yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

FUCKIN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

no BULLSHIT I KID YOU NOT! Look what I found while walking Home…..

OH MY GOD

OH MY F*CKIN GOD

THIS POST FUCKIN WORKS?!?!?! THIS IS PAST A COINCIDENCE NO WAY!??! NO FRIGGIN WAY!!! 

Im Going to reblog this every day to test this, its MAGIC ITS FRIGGIN MAGIC 

[que-pasadena]

I need to believe in the heart of the post…

[perlexnoire-deactivated20150716]

Oh? Well… *reblag*

[zer0will2live]

i reblogged this and now my uncle is giving me 250 to dye my hair nani the fucko

[qslay]

I have nothing to lose

[stoicdaydreamer]

my palm was itchin today not riskin it

[astripperstory]

I always reblog the money posts cause I can’t afford not too lol

[brownsugarempress]

It works. I just got $300 for no reason.

[thecrybabbles-deactivated201605]

Money dog is my friend

[yeaimcoollikethat-deactivated20]

Money dog is the shit

[anttom2016-blog]

I believe in the money dog😀

[princedhunglow-deactivated20181]

I believe in the money 🐶

[cosmic-noir]

Bless me pls money pup 🙏🐕

[uaeb]

if it is ur birthday happy birthday and if it isnt happy existing day

[sixpenceee]

I hope love finds you in 2018

[nvmdanyway]

I hope health finds u in 2018

[rosedespleurs-deactivated202009]

I hope wealth finds you in 2018

[dark-eyed-harmothoe]

I hope happiness finds you in 2018

[traumamamas]

I hope success finds you in 2018

[sleepingpeelz]

I hope self-love finds you in 2018

[greenneerg123-deactivated201804]

I hope supportive people find you in 2018

[doesnt-evenmatter-deactivated20]

I hope all the dogs find you in 2018

[fandomsrourlives]

I hope good grades find you in 2018

[everi-moved]

I hope validation finds you in 2018

[trailinginfinity]

I hope self-acceptance finds you in 2018

[bunntsu]

I hope healthy friendships/relationships find you in 2018

[remi-reciprocal-blog]

I hope better mental health finds you in 2018

[kuttithevangu]

If the ocean ever disappears DONT GO LOOKING FOR IT… go in the other direction

[purified-zone]

i know this sounds like a shitpost but isn’t this like, real advice regarding tsunamis

[kuttithevangu]

Yes this was about hurricane Irma it is not a shitpost

[eff-word]

This is actually really good advice so let me elaborate a bit: if you notice the tide is retreating very quickly at a very odd time of day, get as far away from water and as high up as you can. I live along the ocean and a long time ago we had a small tsunami and a relative of mine tells me how her father saw the tides retreating so he just picked her up and just ran, which probably saved their lives.

So yeah DONT LOOK FOR THE MISSING OCEAN just run away

[stuffandsundry]

ocean not lost, ocean is actually winding up to kick you very hard in the nuts.

[themadamblack-deactivated201904]

I can’t wait until the slight touch of my fingertips changes your breathing pattern…

- The Madam Black