Here are the full details of what went down. I posted about it a bit earlier. Trigger warning for police violence.
Going down a hill, I was going 10mph over the speed limit. I had the cruise control set to 5mph over the speed limit and didn't know that unlike my bf's car, it doesn't slow itself down when the speed goes over to what you've set the cruise control to. Judge me for speeding. Whatever.
The cop pulls me over. Takes my license and registration. Asks me to step out of the vehicle. I ask him why I need to step out of the vehicle. He says he doesn't have to tell me why.
I tell him I'd like to look up the state law first. He tells me the law is to do whatever he says, pushes my phone out of my hand, and opens the car door.
I tell him that the only times I or anyone I've known have ever been asked to step out of the car during a traffic stop were when the officer suspected that they were impaired (it happened to me in 2019 when I was driving my friend home and the cop saw her drunk and passed out in the back seat. I immediately got handcuffed without being told why and wasn't given a breathalyzer until i got to the police station. They let me go after that, but didn't give me my stuff back. Or my money. They robbed me that night. When I called to get my stuff back they said they didn't have it. This is why I didn't want to immediately get out of the car for this traffic stop.)
He grabs me by my arm and starts pulling me. I tell him to let me go. He tells me to shut the fuck up and do what I'm told. Grabs my head with his other hand and tries to pull me out by my hair.
I pick my phone back up and dial 911 to let them know that an officer is trying to pull me out of my car without reasoning. They tell me, in a very annoyed tone, to just do whatever the officer says.
At this point, the cop is pulling my arm backwards against the car, and I'm scared he's going to break it. I start panicking.
A 2nd officer, his supervisor, walks up and rips my keys out of the ignition, breaking them.
I'm already freaking out at this point and impulsively reach out my hand to stop him. He says "oh, you REALLY fucked up now" and grabs me along with the other cop. They grab me by my hair, neck, and arms.
They throw me onto the highway.
Cars were coming. They had to swerve to get around me. Truck tires pass my head about a foot away.
My chin hits the ground. They shove my face into the road. One of them is sitting on me and the other is standing on me so I can't get up. I'm extremely claustrophobic. I start screaming for help. They tell me to shut the fuck up or I'm getting tased and hold a taser up to my back. I stop screaming, but I can't stop crying and hyperventilating. They shove the taser into my back even harder and tell me to stop crying or they'll use it. I say "I'm sorry, I'll comply" and hold my breath. They pull my arms behind my back and handcuff me, very tightly.
The supervisor pulls me away to talk to me separately.
He does not. Stop. Talking. I get a huge lecture about how if I would've just done what I was told, I wouldn't have gotten hurt, but also, he "saved me from getting hurt worse and thrown in jail" by pulling me away from the other cop.
He tells me that he "doesn't care what bullshit advice that i learned from tiktok." I tell him I don't use tiktok, I just had a bad experience with corrupt cops in the past. He tells me that he doesn't care, I shouldn't assume all cops are corrupt just because they are, and he's not like those shitty cops.
He goes on to tell me about how they had to do what they did because they've both had people attempt to hurt them during traffic stops before and there was no way to be sure that I wouldn't do it too. He says that when i reached for my phone I could've been reaching for a gun.
I say "you just told me not to assume something bad will happen to me just because I had a bad experience in the past."
He tells me to stop talking.
He says "what is it called when someone is grabbing you and pushing you? Assault. And that's what you were doing to us. So it was safe to assume that we were in danger."
I say "That's what was being done to me, and considering that i wasn't told why, i think it's a normal reaction to try to stop someone from doing that in that situation. I was terrified."
"That's different. What you did was assault on an OFFICER. You shouldn't have put your hands on him."
Then he goes on rambling again. All while chain smoking cigarettes.
He talks about how great of a cop he is. He repeats that he "saved me" from the other cop immediately arresting me and sending me to jail. He talks about how i could be sitting next to murderers right now and starts to tell me graphic details of some of the cases he's dealt with.
I start hyperventilating so hard that I can't breathe. He tells me to shut the fuck up, but then gently pushes my hair out of my face and says "hey. Smile. You're lucky."
I force myself into breathing normally.
He says "man, that's the first time I've ever had to pull out my taser! I could've used it for the first time today! Ha ha ha!"
"HEY! LAUGH! I'm trying to joke with you and lighten the mood!"
He continues to boast about how great and nice of a cop he is. He asks if i have kids. I tell him yes, and that he's waiting at home for me. He tells me about his kids. Says he's trying to relate to me.
At one point he asks if the other cop can search my car. I know they technically can't if they don't have a warrant and I say no. But I didn't want to get hurt again, and I didn't have anything illegal in the car, so I complied.
He asks me if I have anything in the car that i shouldn't have. I tell him no, but I brought some of my Adderall with me in a different bottle. He asks me to pull up my medical info to prove it's a prescription. He sees that I'm also prescribed pain medication and ask about it. I tell him about my physical issues and chronic pain.
"Oh, you think YOU'RE in pain? I got [list of injuries] while serving overseas so imagine how much pain it caused me when you forced me to pull you out of the car. Do you think i wanna go home to my family and tell them I got hurt because of a 130 pound female?"
I realize at this point that the only way out is by sucking up to he cops.
He tries to strike casual conversation. He says "did you know that in the town you live in, one in every 3 people has an STD?"
"I suppose that makes sense since it's a college town."
"Yeah, I just wanted to warn you so you know to be careful, just in case."
"Thank you, but i have a long term partner, so i don't think that'll be an issue for me." I force out a laugh in between tears.
"SEE! All you had to do was smile and laugh!"
He removes my handcuffs and tells me to stay still or I'll get tased.
"So what do you think your boyfriend is gonna tell you?"
"That i should've listened. He'll probably be mad at me." (No the fuck he won't lol)
"Yeah, I bet you learned your lesson. I'll go try to convince the other officer not to throw you in jail. It's up to him though. Stay here and don't move. My dog in the car will alert me if you do."
They approach me with two tickets and tell me i can go home to my child. The first cop tells me someone shot at him two days ago. I tell him I'm sorry he went through that and that his job must be hard.
They pat themselves on the back for being such nice, empathetic cops.
I go to the car. It takes me a minute to start it because I'm trying to twist just the metal part of the key. It finally starts and I drive the rest of the way home slowly.
I didn't know until afterwards that they put down that I was going faster than I actually was. It's a higher charge for going 20+ over.
Can't stop thinking about how if my skin was darker, I probably wouldn't be alive right now.
vaporwave
2087
theartofmadeline
