Idk

Idk

[the-dullahan]

Believe me I understand the vision of your mind But I'm so afraid that the girl you'll find May not need a man like me

I don't want to lose you, I love you as you are I don't want to lose you, I couldn't love you more, more Tell me love will remain though we may change

[the-dullahan]

What's the point...

[the-dullahan]

To chase and chase and chase and chase...I'm tired now...

[the-dullahan]

You win.

[the-dullahan]

[the-dullahan]

[the-dullahan]

[journalofadeadman]

10 Year Obsession- Ramble

Do you know what it's like to be so deeply and madly in love with someone you feel doesn't love you back anymore? Like that person is no longer invested in you the same way they were all those years ago? You slowly feel that distance becoming more and more real and all you can do is sit there and watch that bridge that used to connect you and them start to crumble.

They say love takes work, especially after the honeymoon phase. But what if you're still in that honeymoon phase after 10 years? What if you're still so effortlessly and crazy in love with them, and every breath they take makes you fall in love with them all over again? What if, every day, you make time for them no matter what's going on or how busy you are, but they don't even try to squeeze you into their busy schedule? Then, you start to think, maybe you're just too obsessed. You're too clingy. You're smothering them...even though this is exactly how you both were when you first met. You're just pathetically in love with them, so pathetic for being this attached to them.

It's your fault though.

It's all my fault. Even though it's been 10 years of nonstop loving her, so much has happened. I broke up with her just shy of our 5 year anniversary. We were always fighting, and we were both always busy. She was working and going through personal stuff, and I was finishing my final few weeks of college. We were both struggling mentally and I gave up on us. I gave up, but I never stopped loving her. She found someone new after about a month. I was in and out of the hospital and moved to a different country. About a year later, we reconnected, but the damage was already done. It was already expected that things would never be the same. Her priorities rightfully shifted to herself and her goals in life, while my priorities remained the same...her. You know how people say that you need to take care of yourself and love yourself before you can take care of and love anyone else? She has all that figured out. I guess that's what happens when someone has as much self-loathing as me...you never learn to love yourself so all of that love and commitment and effort and basically every positive ounce of energy you have goes into someone else. So you start to become obsessed. Loving them more than you love yourself. Putting them above everyone and everything else, including yourself. You lose sleep just to adjust to their timezone.

But now what? You're unhappy because that person is no longer invested in you the same way you're invested in them. You're being selfish because you just want to be loved and cared for the same same way you love and care about them. You clearly love them more than they love you, but you're being toxic now...because the only way they can love you more or at least the same is if they put you before themselves. And you don't want that. God no, that is the last thing you want because you feel so insignificant, like you don't deserve to even be in their presence. All you ever cared about was them being safe and happy. So you sit there and swallow your pride, still trying to cater to their every need as if they were royalty. So then why are you complaining? If you truly feel so undeserving of them, why are you being so selfish and whining that they don't give you the same level of love, care, and attention? You know you don't even deserve it. You. Are. Nothing.

[gentleaddictions]

[iloveheli]

[blackout-vision]

Death Beckons

[aetherus-aesthetics]

𝕯𝖆𝖗𝖐 𝕸𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖚𝖒

A moodboard to help you get ready for your daily Gregorian chanting

[escapismsworld]

[the-dullahan]

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