sendnudes.com

Save the bees, get RID of the mosquitoes

[fallintolife]

I feel like my roommates are probably aliens and I’m teaching them how humans eat with my grocery choices

[fallintolife]

when I first moved in the fridge had like… water in it. and some mustard. definitely people things but ???

and then I bought a bigass jar of peanut butter and two days later… another jar of peanut butter appears. same size, same brand. uh.

[fallintolife]

I buy a box of cereal. more cereal appears.

I buy lactaid. silk soymilk appears.

I bought a jar of freakin’ mayo and a different mayo of the same size appeared in the fridge.

[fallintolife]

one day these aliens are going to find out that I’m allergic to most common foods, and boy are they gonna be mad

[fallintolife]

“this isn’t how humans eat?? was ours broken????”

[neurotypical-karen]

The dean of students took the wheels from my heelys I feel like Lucifer stripped of his wings

[neurotypical-karen]

I have to walk down the hallways like a common wench and I’m LIVID

[himsdaily]

[tastefullyoffensive]

[mysharona1987]

[spookieboogie]

[vainvaihe]

things got a little heated in the gc today

[gallusrostromegalus]

International Differences that turn into screaming matches of misdirected fury is one of my favorite genres of humor

[zechery-deactivated20220114]

Me: hey do you know what serotonin is?

Brain:

[teenscoolest]

follow teenscoolest for more!

[thecheesequakediaries]

The OP of this had Zero fucks left to give.

[stability]

[teenscoolest]

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[discourseful]

[carnival-phantasm]

[weirdness-is-good]

[christineebersole]

This post isn’t written in any known human language

[patheticperipatetic]

Is this what understanding a newspaper political cartoon is like?

[secreteggplantbaby]

[ryanreynoldssource]

[thatisrad]

You don’t have to fake orgasm to help your partner’s ego. The guy I lost my virginity to wrote a play about the experience, and the character based on me gave a monologue about how she regretted sleeping with him because no one else would ever be that good. So, yeah. Just tell him you didn’t cum. 

[girlsfrommars]

Im sorry he wrote a fucking what