"You don't know us. Not really."

Bie / 25 / Female / 0% Straight

[the-final-trio]

I struggle with Valentine's Day.

It just reminds me that I'm different. Often, I end up feeling defective and unlovable especially when compared to my other siblings who are in long term relationships.

Most days I don't think about it and it doesn't bother me. Other times, it's like today.

[the-final-trio]

I love alcohol but I hate alcohol

Because there is no 'blocking out' or 'pretending'

Everything becomes so crystal clear and I despise what I see, what I think, what I know.

[the-final-trio]

I fucking hate everything! The one thing that brings me joy in this cesspool of a job and it keeps being yanked away from me.

[the-final-trio]

I miss you

I miss you so goddamn much

[the-final-trio]

I miss my smile.

[the-final-trio]

If I had to use 4 words to describe myself it would be

I

Hate

It

Here

[the-final-trio]

If only I could just close my eyes and dream for the rest of my life

[the-final-trio]

How am I surrounded by people every day but still feel so alone?

[the-final-trio]

Hyperfixating on something and having no one to connect with about said hyperfixation is the WORST 😭

[cloudberrytoast]

[the-final-trio]

If someone asks how I'm doing mentally, tell them I've been listening to "If I Can Dream" by Elvis Presley on repeat 👍

[the-final-trio]

The moments I get where I genuinely laugh till my eyes water and my sides hurt are invaluable.

Laughter makes the pains of life dim for just a little while and reminds me that I am able to effortlessly smile.

[the-final-trio]

Sometimes I feel like I'm the weakest person I know.

[the-final-trio]

My hyperfixations are the only thing keeping me afloat most days

[the-final-trio]

Sometimes I think the universe listens

But also it's like that game telephone, the end result is confusing and not what you were asking for or expecting.

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

[stanza-309]