The Nomad @the-nomad - Tumblr Blog

My boyfriend told me over text that he didn't know the Minotaur story

Boyfriend: I… I don’t even know the story that well babe, I can’t even say xD

Me:Okay so

Me:Poseidon gives a bull to King Minos, the best and shiniest bull you ever saw, and he’s like “You can have this, but only if you promise to sacrifice it to me later” and Minos is like “Sure yeah okay man whatever” so Poseidon sends this bestest bull ever galloping up out of the salty sea spray, and everyone standing around is like “Hot fuck look at that bull” And Minos agrees, and he likes the bull SO much he decides to just quietly sort of…keep it. And he does kill a bull for Poseidon but it’s one of his own, lame normal bulls, and Poseidon’s no pushover so of course he notices.

Me:Poseidon is also notoriously easily angered, and he’s royal pissed about this, so he comes up with one of the most devious punishments ever, and he infects Minos’ wife Pasiphae with a desperate, DESPERATE thirst for the bull. Like she can think of nothing but getting some of that hot Bull D.

Boyfriend:……….Thefuck.

Me: But it’s hard to convince a bull, especially a divinely spawned bull, to fuck you if you are in fact not a cow but a human queen, so she comes up with a plan

Boyfriend:I thought some god comes down in bull form and fucks her??

Me: Ohh, no no no, that’s the much much more tame story of Europa, who has sex with Zeus in bull form. This is different

Me:She goes to the best inventor she knows, Daedalus, and she’s like “I need this bull to fuck me I NEED IT” and Daedalus is like “That’s really weird maybe you should talk to someone” and she’s like “I am talking to you and I am your queen so you better fucking make this happen for me I am going to peel my own skin off if I don’t get some bull dick ASAP. But he doesn’t want me because I am not fat, four-legged, and mooing.”

Boyfriend: Oh….. oh no.

Me: So Daedalus shrugs, probably shudders a little, and builds the prettiest, most fuckable wooden cow a bull ever saw, but he makes it hollow, presumably with some openings in some awkward places.

Boyfriend: OH GOD. NO.

Me:So Pasiphae puts this monstrosity in the field with the bull, climbs in it, and waits. And Daedalus really is a skilled inventor, and he apparently knows what a bull likes, because Pasiphae finally gets the hot bull loving she’s been dreaming of

Boyfriend: I…….. I need an aspirin. That is disgusting.

Me: Only she apparently hasn’t been tracking her cycles, because she gets pregnant, and births the minotaur and King Minos is like “What the fuck?” and Pasiphae is like “Honey I need to tell you something”

Me:And that is how it happened

Boyfriend: That is NOT HOW THAT WORKS

Me: Welcome to Mythology.

thatswhywelovegermany

Honestly, as a German I can not quite understand the obsession of the English speaking world with the question whether a word exists or not. If you have to express something for which there is no word, you have to make a new one, preferably by combining well-known words, and in the very same moment it starts to exist. Agree?

latveriansnailmail

Deutsche Freunde, could you please create for me a word for the extreme depression I feel when I bend down to pick up a piece of litter and discover two more pieces of litter?

thatswhywelovegermany

um = around

die Welt = world

die Umwelt = environment

ver = prefix to indicate something difficult or negative, a change that leads to deterioration or even destruction that is difficult to reverse or to undo, or a strong negative change of the mental state of a person

der Müll = garbage, trash, rubbish, litter

-ung = -ing

die Vermüllung = littering

ver- = see before

zweifeln = to doubt

-ung = see before

die Verzweiflung = despair, exasperation, desperation

die Umweltvermüllungsverzweiflung = …

serhumfreysbrokencollarbone

This is a german compound on the spot master class and I am LIVING

thatswhywelovegermany

#my german is still too basic for this but I desperately want a compound word for how much these compound words piss me off

das Monster = monster

das Wort = word

der Groll = grudge, anger, malice, rancor

der Monsterwortgroll = …

linguistikforum

Monsterwortbildungsimitationsunfähigkeitsverzweiflungsgroll

thatswhywelovegermany

die Bildung = formation

die Imitation = imitation

un- = un-, in-

fähig = able

-keit = -ility

die Unfähigkeit = inability

der Monsterwortbildungsimitationsunfähigkeitsverzweiflungsgroll = anger about the inability to imitate the formation of monster words

bo1kitten

I need a word that expresses your amusement that this doesn’t work in English.

thatswhywelovegermany

der Schaden = harm, damage

die Freude = joy, fun, amusement

die Schadenfreude = malicious joy over the misfortune of others

die Monsterwortbildungsunfähigkeitsschadenfreude = …

pokemon-personalities

this is my new favorite post on the internet

dweeg

Good Luck Getting Across This Shit With A Mach Bike Losers This Post Was Made By Acro Bike Gang

neververy4

This is the discourse I wanna see on this website

penicillium-pusher

I don’t trust Maroon 5

captocie

why

penicillium-pusher

Well first of all there’s 7 band members, not 5. That’s not why I don’t trust them, I just think it’s weird.

Now getting to the point, do you know how many top 100 hits Maroon 5 has had? A lot. They’re even on billboards top 100 artists of all time (ALL TIME). And it’s understandable, because pretty much every song they put out is fucking awesome. Sugar, Don’t Wanna Know, Moves Like Jagger, Payphone, This Love, She Will Be Loved, Cold, Animals, Maps, Misery, Harder to Breathe, Never Gonna Leave This Bed… to name a FEW.

These shitheads have been popping out jams since I was a little kid. Well over a decade worth of killer music. Every other song I hear on the radio is Maroon 5. It’s always Maroon 5. And I fucking love it. I love all their songs. Everyone does, they’re awesome.

But here’s the thing. They’re never the top selling artists. On the top 100 list, they’re only in the 40s. They very rarely have a number 1 hit. They’re considered good, I suppose….. but not great. Not the best.

How many people have you heard say Maroon 5 is their favorite band? For me it’s zero. For many of you, it’s zero. If you’re thinking to yourself “what? No I love them, they’re my fave!” Are you sure? Are you really sure? They’re your absolute complete FAVORITE band ever??? I doubt it. You’re just saying that because the band is on your mind now. If I asked you your fave band any other time you’d come up with another answer. Everyone always does.

But they SHOULD be everyone favorites. Look at all of those songs. They’ve got so many top hits. Everyone loves their music. Everyone sings along and knows the songs. They should be my favorite band, I think I like more of their songs than of my actual favorite artist. But they are not my favorite. They are no ones favorite.

I think they made a deal with someone. Satan? God? A dude down an alleyway? Who knows. But I believe they made a deal to ensure everyone would love their music. And we do. It’s great music.

But the twist is that they’ll never truly be recognized as one of the best. Sure, their songs will play on the radio and everyone will sing along. They’ll have sold out concerts. Plenty of fans. But not enough. They’ll be just good. Never great. Never the best. Even if they should be our favorite, they never will be. They’ll never sell enough albums or have their songs reach as high on the billboards as they should. Everyone loves their music, per the agreement. But no one loves them.

I hope Adam Levine knows I’m on to him. I know what he did.

naaayked

IT IS BACK

coffeeinthetardis

officialbluebeetle-deactivated2

ok but what if like. werewolves transform under the full moon but theres just this one and by day hes a big tough guy and then when he transforms hes a tiny dog. just fucking. just fucking turns into the tiniest, fluffiest dog

imagine that howling at the moon

officialbluebeetle-deactivated2

imagine

verceri-deactivated20141109

Truly a ferocious predator.

verceri-deactivated20141109

And lastly: (He’s the pack leader obviously)

itsa-me-amelie

the big wolves are his younger sisters

formerprincewille

Okay I’ve literally reblogged this prob a hundred times but it’s the best post ever so here we are again.

Imagínate que hay una criatura egoista y mezquina, pero también inteligente y con un gran corazón que vive en un enorme y lúgubre castillo. De repente su mundo cambia totalmente cuando una hermosa mujer llega a su puerta y le hace ver al mundo y sus habitantes como algo hermoso. Le da la oportunidad de compartir sus conocimientos y crecer como "persona". En un giro cruel del destino, una turba de gente irracional con pinchos y antorchas decide invadir el castillo para matar a sus habitantes con un falso sentido de justicia que demuestra que los seres humanos pueden ser peores que los mismos "monstruos" que intentan combatir. La mujer, que representa todo lo bueno de nosotros, muere a manos de un hombre mísero y pequeño, su polo opuesto. La criatura, desconsolada y vengativa, decide acabar con la humanidad. Hay un espejo mágico con el poder de observar cosas lejanas.

Ahora que lo analizo un poco, creo que Castlevania es solo un universo alternativo de La Bella Y La Bestia donde todo salió horriblemente mal.

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drfelici

Croak!

hubiewhitman

AU where everything is exactly the same except instead of wanting to fuck Pennywise the clown y'all are normal functioning human beings

hubiewhitman

I fucking hope so

bradbradleyart

Batman smols

prettyboyshyflizzy

why do black people use you in the wrong context? such is "you ugly" instead of "you're ugly" I know u guys can differentiate, it's a nuisance

you a bitch

rsbenedict-deactivated20181216

It’s called copula deletion, or zero copula. Many languages and dialects, including Ancient Greek and Russian, delete the copula (the verb to be) when the context is obvious.

So an utterance like “you a bitch” in AAVE is not an example of a misused you, but an example of a sentence that deletes the copular verb (are), which is a perfectly valid thing to do in that dialect, just as deleting an /r/ after a vowel is a perfectly valid thing to do in an upper-class British dialect.

pigeonstalking

What’s more, it’s been shown that copula deletion occurs in AAVE exactly in those contexts where copula contraction occurs in so-called “Standard American English.” That is, the basic sentence “You are great” can become “You’re great” in SAE and “You great” in AAVE, but “I know who you are” cannot become “I know who you’re” in SAE, and according to reports, neither can you get “I know who you” in AAVE.

In other words, AAVE is a set of grammatical rules just as complex and systematic as SAE, and the widespread belief that it is not is nothing more than yet another manifestation of deeply internalized racism.