Just vibing at this point.

This has just become random main blog mess. So if I followed you for something specific, I'll probably be interacting from a sideblog. Here, fandom wise you will find some spn, criminal minds, and marvel. Otherwise, lgbtq stuff, animals, and random things that catch my interest. 24, he/they

[sam-winchester-admiration-league]

[our-queer-experience]

i think the reason so many trans allies and trans people will say they support non-passing trans women but struggle with butch and otherwise masculine trans women is because they are fine with trans women not meeting cisgender standards of femininity so long as they are working in that direction. you guys can’t understand or respect trans butches because they challenge the idea in your head of what a trans woman should want to look like. even if you don’t look that way, it’s ok, you’re working on it! you don’t *want* to be masculine.

if you don’t support trans women who dont want to emulate cisgender feminine standards and are happy to be butch, you don’t support trans women

[cannibalchicken]

[the-ross-winchester]

BOAT SWIM

AREA AREA

NO SWIM NO BOATS

⬅️ ➡️

[shinesurge]

Guys if you want queer shit written by queers on our own terms you're going to have to start seeking out weird independent media. I'm sorry that's the only place you can regularly find it idk what to tell you, we can't keep acting like there's nothing if we're not getting blockbusters and triple A titles or whatever it is we're waiting around for. The thing you keep saying you want is already being offered for free by one person making a passion project on the internet and you would both benefit enormously if you interacted with it instead of lamenting that the only options we have for representation are pandering afterthoughts from corporate shit

[fandomsandfeminism]

I say this with so, so much care: Real queer shit written by real queers can and will sometimes make you uncomfortable. That's one of the defining features of weird, independent queer media. And weird independent media more broadly. Art that comes from true individual passion and authenticity has edges and bite to it that mass market corporate products intentionally do not. Has a rawness that can offend.

You are allowed to feel uncomfortable about it. But don't ask for queers to self censor for your comfort.

[g-l-o-w-y-l-i-g-h-t-s]

I will never forget going to a class and the instructor asking the group what communities we were a part of. I said "The Queer community ☺️". She told me that word was offensive and instructed me to say "Quiltbag". Fucking Quiltbag. I did not return to that class.

[the-ross-winchester]

Quiltbag was actually a good faith suggestion/coining made around 20 years ago now that was meant as a pronounceable and inclusive alternative to just adding on more and more letters to LGBT(QIAPN2S+, etc etc). That teacher is wrong and uninformed for saying queer is offensive, but she didn't just pull "quiltbag" out of her ass. The Q at the beginning literally stands for queer (and questioning) so her reasoning for suggesting it to you in that circumstance is irrelevant, but don't shit on quiltbag on principle. It didn't catch on very much on a wide scale, it had a moment in the late 2000s, but there were/are some people and communities who use(d) it. Mostly in education and activism.

It stands for:

Queer/Questioning

Unsure/Unlabeled

Intersex

Lesbian

Transgender/Transsexual/Two Spirit

Bisexual

Asexual/Aromantic/(Allied, historically)

Gay/Genderqueer

It was made with the goal of explicitly including intersex/ace/aro people and representing everyone in a way where no one could just get chopped off of the ending, while also making it a phonetic word rather than saying all the letters in whatever order.

While not necessarily the intention, the 'quilt' part also brings to mind the AIDS memorial quilt and the concept of how the queer community is a 'patchwork' of sorts of different groups who come to make a larger community.

I don't personally use quiltbag, and it may sound a little silly, but it is a real piece of queer history from the 2000s that was made and used with good intentions.

[shamebats]

[kabretoss]

It does matter. It matters exactly like this.

Last month I was in the ER, the most vulnerable emotionally that I've ever been while putting myself in the hands of a stranger. That the intake doctor had a lanyard heavy with Pride pins mattered. It's such a tiny gesture, but the amount of safety I felt because of it, during an agonizing moment in my life, was huge.

[elkian]

We recently moved to rural area and some neighbors have straight up MAGA flags so the person with the biggest flagpole for miles around putting up a GIGANTIC Progress Pride flag last June and this June has actually meant a lot to me.

[leebrontide]

Whoops crying

[genderkoolaid]

"The Tom-Boy Who Was Changed Into A Real Boy," a children's poem written between 1859 and 1862 and published by McLoughlin Brothers Publishing in New York.

The poem is part of the "Aunt Oddamadood series," which appeared to primarily create entertaining yet moralistic poems for children, in which a naughty child (other examples include "Little Miss Consequence," "The Conceited Boy," "The Mischievous Fingers") is presented and shown the error of their ways, to teach children what will happen if they do not behave. With that context, the purpose of this poem appears to warning children raised as girls that, should they act like a tomboy, they will eventually be quietly sent off to sea. It is made clear both at the beginning and the end of the poem that the child's tomboyish nature is a "fault" and something the audience must be "cautioned" about.

I learned about this poem from this small collection of transgender antebellum (pre-Civil War) USAmerican children's literature, collected by historian Jen Manion. Another relevant example from that collection is "Lucy Nelson; or, the Boy-Girl," the story of a child assigned female who dislikes femininity and prefers playing with her brothers and acting like a boy. Lucy and their brothers get in trouble, but Lucy is singled out for punishment. They are forced to wear boys clothes for a month; this doesn't initially seem that bad, but it becomes clear that the real punishment is subjecting Lucy to gendered humiliation. Lucy's brother laugh at them, declare that if they dress as a boy then they will "be treated as one," leading to them being physically and verbally cruel to them. At a dinner party, the stress of the gendered humiliation they are facing for their transmasculinity reaches a breaking point. A guest's fixation and confusion on their gender leads them to shout, in tears, "I am not a boy!" to end the inquisition.

Lucy's story ends not with them simply realizing they are a girl; it is explicitly detailed that it is very difficult for them to resist their "boyish" nature and they were "in danger of lapsing," but that eventually they became an "obedient little girl," having been successfully humiliated back into appropriate (and, notably, white) daughterhood. These examples show clearly how the narrative around the "acceptance" of tomboys hides the very real disdain and cruelty directed at transmasculinized youth that has existed in Western culture for centuries. Rather than their masculinity being praised, or the masculinization of a young girl being seen as positive, these tomboys are depicted as out-of-control, insufficiently white, and further masculinization is depicted as a punishment done to tomboys, something meant to be humiliating and scary, thus coercing them back to the role of daughterwifemother.

[genderkoolaid]

Also wanna add that this is a good example of malgendering in history, and why that term is so important when talking about anti-transmasculinity.

For both Lucy and the tomboy-turned-sailor, further masculinization is a punishment. The story of Lucy literally uses the phrase "if she dresses like a boy, we'll treat her like a boy" as a justification for verbal and physical harassment and humiliation.

& while the poem is lighthearted and meant to be fun, it is very clear that becoming a sailor is not something the tomboy is doing for fun or of his own volition. The poem explicitly describes the transition as happening "quite quietly" and "without noise," and being orchestrated by an unclear "them" which we can assume is likely the tomboy's family. Being a sailor was a job which involved hard manual labor, dangerous circumstances, and associated with lower-class (thus sexually dangerous) men. Again, this poem is from a series of moralistic poems which very clearly lay out for children what happens when you act "bad." The message here is: if you, little girl, try to act like a boy, you will become coarse and unloveable and be sent away to sea to live amongst dirty, dangerous cis men.

This is why malgendering is such an important term and concept, for all trans people, but here particularly with anti-transmasculinity. And I also hope that y'all keep these examples in your back pocket to use the next time you hear someone run their mouth about how the patriarchy just isn't that concerned about policing masculinity in people perceived as girls, because ummmm patriarchy LIKE boy stuff duh!!!!!!!!

[archaeocoyote]

This is really interesting to me because its so seldom that something lines up so well with my particular experience of having grown up intersex and as a transmasculine person. An experience that has led me to believe that the reason the policing of transmasculinity in kids is seen as "invisible" or even non-existent is because it often functions not on a level of open hostility, but on a subtle level of coy, "concerned for your future" social isolation, ostracism, and humiliation that feels orchestrated like a dance throughout your childhood and impossible to explain to anyone not on the transmasc or butch spectrum. I started getting "helpful" comments, snide remarks, and even doctors office visits about "fixing" how masculine my body and presentation were literally even before I realized I was trans or started to consciously play with my gender presentation.

Little girls and kids who were AFAB are only "allowed" to be tomboys insofar as their eventual assimilation into gender conforming feminine womanhood can be assured. If that assimilation is at all in question, the gloves come off really quick and they start considering forcing you onto supplemental estrogen.

[genderkoolaid]

#it makes me feel a lot of things to see this written out#especially the second case - that was… a lot of my childhood#‘if you act like a boy we’ll treat you like a boy’ and crucially ‘let other children treat you like a boy’ as a withdrawal of protection#or - more accurately- a throwing the wolves#the boys knew I wasn’t ‘a real boy’ - it was just a license to do violence without repurcussions

^ this is exactly it.

this is what makes anti-transmasculinity so fucking infuriating to talk about. because people say shit like "well little girls are rewarded for acting masculine!" with no sense of irony.

but really so much anti-transmasculinity swirls around this notion that being made a boy is a punishment for people intended to be girls. on two levels:

because being a girl, and succeeding in the role of daughterwifemother, is your personhood. that is why the above poem is titled "the tomboy who was turned into a real boy," while depicting the tomboy dressed as a sailor with his head in his hands as if he is crying. it is not a whimsical adventure, it is meant to be read as obviously negative as a poem about a child who steals or is rude and gets punished for it.

the ever-present specter of cis male violence (physical and sexual) is not any less present for transmasculine people, and those who wield anti-transmasculinity (especially against children) know this. its implicit in the poem, its explicit in the story of Lucy, its the background radiation of every 19th century story of a FTM crossdresser which obsesses over whether or not they kept their virginity while living around cis men.

i never ever ever ever ever want to hear anyone claim that "masculine girls" are less hated than "feminine boys"* again. everyone get radicalized and educated on anti-transmasculinity RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

*ironically, the collection i got this from also includes a letter written by a person talking about why feminine boys are actually good (as long as they aren't too girly) because they are polite and helpful and studious, while masculine girls are problematic because they are rude and dirty. this was not a pro-transfem statement by any means, but its literally the exact opposite of what people like to claim about how this works. gosh, its almost like maybe we should stop trying to figure out which binary gender is more policed, because its an exercise in futility that only encourages us vs them binary thinking!

[the-ross-winchester]

Bruhhhh my discord account got "limited" due to my status saying "I love faggots" violating their "hateful conduct" policy. Not sure how proclaiming my love for faggots with my icon including a trans flag is considered hateful tbh. Seems like discord is the one who is being hateful towards faggots.

[the-ross-winchester]

Dan and Phil 🤝 Markiplier:

Breaking websites whenever they tell their fans to do something

[theoczone]

[willgrahamscock]

I just realized I’m old enough to be someone’s dad technically, so if you’re trans and your parents suck I’m your dad and mom now

[willgrahamscock]

hey kiddo, I’m real proud of you and you’re going down a good path for you, you look rad as hell don’t you worry about what others say. love you!

[b-side-takes]

some of yall don’t realize that a good chunk of what trans women experience IS androphobia. but we don’t call it “transandrophobia” [trans androphobia] because they are women. we call it transmisogyny [transphobia against transfems]. we all agree on that

so

even though a good chunk of what trans men experience is misogyny, we call it transandrophobia [transandro phobia] [transphobia against transmascs] because we are not women

[catchymemes]

[grymmoires]

[deanwinchestersgirl8734]

[bl00d-f3t15h]

people will see a community which has only in the last 50-60 years stopped being institutionalized to death (or rather, that happens less) and say "you have male privilege"

[tlirsgender]

We need to do something about straight women's misery in their hetero relationships they're largely just resigned to living in I'm so serious. Can we try women's lib again can we liberate the women

[blue-spy]

What if we, hear me out here, removed all het relationships. Just instantly queerify everyone. I have no clue about the logistics behind this, but personally, im a genius

[the-ross-winchester]

I don't know how to tell you this gently, this type of behavior is a massive part of the problem.