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Darksiders Headcanons #5: Products made from animals
In my last headcanon I forgot how different parts of an animal are used to make different things and how there are other types of cooking such as drying meat, as pointed out by @catcoffee02 (thanks again). So this one will be focusing on that.
For demons, dry meat isn't really popular. The vast majority of demons prefer raw bloody meat, as I mentioned in my last headcanon. That and, in the more hotter areas of Hell anyway, whenever some demon accidentally let meat dry, it was often burnt or had none of the bloody juiciness that demons prefer and the result was often fed to the hounds (who in my opinion will eat just about anything as long as it is meat). This was the norm in Hell and in the demon ranks stuck on Earth while the apocalypse was going down.
That is, until the humans got resurrected.
When humans learned about how demons accidentally dry meat and how they didn't really like it, in response one particularly brave human proceeded to drag the demon who said it while saying "I'll show YOU how to PROPERLY dry a good cut of meat.".
As you can imagine, other demons found it HILARIOUS. Others were actually curious about how dry meat can taste good. Meanwhile Vulgrim smelled opportunity and Samael was also taking this as an opportunity to see human cooking for himself since by now work about human cooking had spread pretty far among both angels and demons.
And as it turns out the man is well own in the neighborhood for being a big fan of meat and all the different ways to cook meat such as drying, grilling, smoking, frying, and so on.
Man: Now. One way to dry any piece of meat is to cut it into small and thin pieces and to marinate it for flavor. Though you can also use big pieces of meat, depending on what kind of meat you want to smoke. Then you got to simmer it to decrease the chance of it spoiling it for giving you a disease. Though you can also choose not to simmer the meat before smoking. It all depends on your preference.
Man: There are a few ways to dry meat at home but most of them require appliances that we don't have anymore. So we're using the good old fashioned smoker, which is also my favorite way to dry meat. Sure it takes a while but it is well worth the taste.
With that the man then began to order the demons around in order to actually build said smoker. After that was done the man began to explain how different cuts of meat need to be smoked at different temperatures and are smoked for different amounts of time.
(Fun fact while the smoker temperature is mostly the same for different cuts of beef the internal temperature is different for each cut. Also the meat in question, in this case beef, was of course provided by Vulgrim in exchange for a percentage of the final product).
The man smoked a good couple pounds of beef brisket (which from what I read takes about 12 - 20 hours to smoke). Then he gave some to Vulgrim as payment for the meat, and shared the rest with the demons who helped (and Samael).
Demon 1: It smells so good. Nothing like the dry meats I've seen before.
Demon 2: But will it actually be good. The edges look burnt.
Man: Don't go judging my cooking before you have a bite! I promise you the prep and time are well worth the wait. Here. You. Have a bite.
The man then handed a plate to Samael.
(this part is just my headcanon) In his younger years Samael had tried dried meat, mostly on a dare, and it was gross, like it tasted like ash kind of gross. As much as he wanted to refuse the man he also knew that he had to stay on humanities good side since the Horsemen were looking after them. So, in order to stay on their good he accepted.
Turns out the smoked meat tasted nothing like what he had in the past. This beef brisket is very tender and juicy. It also has a slight smoky yet really rich and complex flavor, no doubt thanks to the spices that the man had rubbed onto the meat before smoking it. And while the outer layer is crispy and dark, it doesn't taste bad at all and is actually quite flavorful as well. Over all this beef brisket is nothing like the dry meats that demons accidentally make back in Hell.
Man: So. How is it? Good right?
Samael: Indeed. It is as the other humans of your family said. You really do know how to cook good meat.
With that the other demons ate as well and they too found it to be quite good.
Vulgrim *thinking* : Seems I made the right choice in doing business with the humans.
But then one of them had a thought.
Demon 1: So what will happen to the rest of the cow?
Man: I'll store and cook the rest of the meat later, probably share some with my neighbors. Probably could make some good sausage as well.
Samael: And what of the rest of the cow such as the hide and bones?
Man: Well my sister knows how to make leather out of animal hides and soap out of fat and stuff like that so hopefully we won't waste too much.
A woman, most likely his sister, then strolls up to him and gives him a friendly arm punch.
Woman: And you thought me learning all that was worthless. But yeah. I'll probably need some help but I'll make sure that we use as much of the animal carcass as possible.
Demon 1: Wait. You can make stuff using the fat?
Woman: Yeah. Stuff like candles, crayons, soap, all kinds of stuff. Just that some of that stuff takes a lot longer to do and can be more complicated than others. For instance while I do know how to make the hide into leather the process itself can be quite long, especially since we are working with bare materials. The bones too can be used to make tools and can also be dried and crushed up into a powder to make plant fertilizer. Some of the organs of a cow like the heart, liver, tongue, and kidney can also be cooked and eaten as well. The blood however will be tricky. Sure there are ways to use blood but the only one I know we can do is to make blood meal, basically a different type of plant fertilizer, or make food using blood.
Demon 2: Never knew there were so many uses for blood and fat itself.
Demon 1: Yeah. Making stuff out of bones and skin is someone some of us do but never knew you could make stuff out of fat and blood.
Woman: Over the years we humans have learned how to use just about every part of an animal's carcass, not just the meat and skin.
Samael: It seems you humans truly are quite the resourceful creatures.
Woman: Yeah. That and a lot of what we have, or did have, like coffee beans and spices is because of trading across the sea.
Samael: Really?
Vulgrim: Trade?
Woman: Yeah. Sometimes trade was established peacefully but other times.
Man: US trade with Japan began because basically US forces busted into Japan and said "You're going to trade with us and you're going to like it".
Woman: Yeah that. And that's not even mentioning stuff like the opium war.
Demon 1: I'm sorry the what now?
Woman: Basically this whole war around 1839 that started because of trade, Britain needing to find a new source of revenue, and a lot of cultural differences between the Chinese and British people.
Man: Oh and the British were importing a lot of black tea from China. Like tens of millions of pounds. Every year.
Demon 2: Every year!? That's crazy.
Demon 1: What even is tea?
Woman: It's a kind of drink made from unique plants that gives hot water a unique aroma and flavor. It's pretty popular. Like before the actual start of the opium war the amount of they spent to import tea was about 10 percent of the entire government revenue.
Man: Yup. That and many other factors such as how they didn't make much money on trade in China, the trade restrictions China made, cultural differences led to problems and mixed signals, and just how dependent the British were on the tea trade meant that when the Honorable East India Company, a British company, discovered that poppies grew well in India, and that they could convert that poppy into opium and sell it in China in order to use the profits to buy tea, sell it to Britain.
Woman: Except that while opium is used to relieve pain it is also a highly addictive drug and can be used to make other drugs as well. And well. They weren't exactly selling it to China as pain relief.
Man: That and opium is technically illegal in China.
Vulgrim: Well. Seems like that Honorable company isn't quite so honorable after all.
Woman: Yeah. The company basically said "Hey who wants some opium. Don't know what you want to do with it but we're selling it.".
Man: That and the opium the East India Company grew was stronger than the domestically grown stuff meant that soon enough China had a drug problem.
Vulgrim: I imagine that China wouldn't allow the drug problem to continue.
Woman: Yup. By 1839 around 5 million pounds of opium was pouring into China every year. In response the Chinese emperor appointed an official named Lin Zexu to address the opium situation.
Samael: And let me guess. The man was smart, incorruptible, and inflexible?
Woman: Actually yeah. How'd you guess?
Samael: When you have lived for as long as I have you develop a talent for predicting others moves, actions, and reactions.
Woman: Cool. So anyway he saw the effect opium had so he wanted to remove opium completely. He did a lot such as force addicts into rehab and arrest any opium trader he found. He also wanted to take all the opium that western traders had, though they stalled and only gave up small amounts. They put the foreign warehouses to siege and about a month later the merchants surrendered and gave up around 21,000 chests of opium which Lin Zexu burned with lye.
Vulgrim: 21,000 chests. Quite a lot of opium. Must have been a lot of money.
Man: Yup. It was so much money that everyone involved was going to go bankrupt.
*In the background Vulgrim had an imaginary heart attack at the (highly unlikely) thought of going bankrupt.*
Woman: In response the local chief superintendent of British trade, a man named Charles Elliot, promised the merchants that the government would cover their losses if they left peacefully.
Vulgrim: Except with the amount of money involved the government wasn't going to do that right?
Samael: The poor fool put too much trust in his government.
Man: Yup. The government said "Heck no. We're not going to do that."
Vulgrim: And I expect that the merchants retaliated yes?
Woman: Oh yeah. Outcry over the illegal seizure of British goods began to grow.
Man: There were other issues going on such as two drunken British sailors beating a Chinese man to death. Charles offered a reward for any information and gave money to the victims family. When the two sailors were found they were tried on a British ship and Charles offered Lin Zexu or some other Chinese official to witness though none took him up on his offer. Charles sentenced the sailors to hard labor back in England but this didn't work for Lin Zexu since the whole point of his demand was to show that foreigners can't just break Chinese law on Chinese soil.
Samael: A reasonable goal. Anyone won't like foreigners disobeying the law on their own land. I expect that they would retaliate yes?
Woman: Yup. He stopped all food being supplied to the British and posted signs saying that the local water sources had been poisoned. He also told the Portuguese to reject all British from Macau. He wanted the British and the opium gone from China and he was going to do what he though was necessary.
Man: The British went to, at the time, a barren island which is now know of as Hong Kong. Caption Elliot sent a request for food sales to resume but the response was delayed so he sent men ashore to buy food but the food was seized by Chinese officials as they were heading back and soon a fight broke out, thus starting the first opium war.
Demon 1: You mean what you both said before was just the events leading to the war?!
Woman: Yup. But we did leave some parts out cause to be honest we don't remember everything about the first opium war.
Man: Like how at some point Lin Zexu wrote to the Queen about opium to appeal to her conscience in the hopes that she would help stop opium from getting into China but it's very likely that the letter never reached her.
Demon 2: What about the actual war? How did it end?
Woman: I don't remember much details about the actual war since it has been a long time since I and my brother first learned about it. I do know that it ended in the Chinese giving around 21 million in British currency, a number of ports for trade were opened, the Cohong monopoly was abolished, and tariff rates were to be agreed upon rather than set by the Chinese government.
Man: Oh. Also that the British people would be under British law while on the island of Hong Kong. That and British consulates were established at the treaty ports. Though the Chinese refused to legalize opium and didn't allow Christian missionaries. There was another opium war and the two treaties that followed are now known as the Unequal Treaties and have been seared into the mind of the Chinese people and are brought up when dealings with those of us in the west go south.
Woman: Yeah. And while not many people died in these wars compared to other wars across human history, the effect that they had was great.
Demon 1: Who knew plants could be so dangerous?
Man: You do know that the seasoning I used is MADE from plants CALLED spices right?
Demon 1 and 2: ........ WAIT WHAT!?
Man: Y'ALL ARE IDIOTS! HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW!
Samael: You must forgive them. Hell is a place of extreme climates and challenges. Most plant life can not survive in Hell. As far as I have seen the only plant life that can grow is in the poisonous swamps and sometimes in the frigid ice caverns.
Man: Yeah. Makes sense. But still. You've been around for so long. Surely sometime as simple as plants that taste spicy or sour is something you have encountered right?
Samael: For most demons. No. Only those like myself who seek to learn about the other worlds, and Vulgrim, know such things.
Vulgrim: Yes. I make it a point to learn of anything that might prove useful. It is why I collected Earth animals, and kept them alive, to later sell to you humans. I knew that there were those in Heaven who would seek to lure the leaders of Hell to Earth to cut them down, and I knew that they fail. But I am only a merchant and I knew that the Horsemen would not stand for humanity to fall and I knew that humans need to eat. That is why I did what I did, even though at times it was almost not worth the trouble.
Man: A merchant always looking for another way to make some coin. I can understand the grind. Everyone's gotta make a living somehow.
Vulgrim: Yes. You understand. Speaking of other ways to make a living. I'm sure once word of your cooking spreads other demons will come looking for a bite to eat.
Man: So you want to make a business deal?
Vulgrim: Profits split 50/50 and I'll provide you with farm animals to start.
Man: ...... Help me find workers to build a restaurant and you've got yourself a deal.
Woman: HEY!
Vilgrim and the Man: ......
Woman: At least let's get a contract started first and go over details together. Hang on I'll get a paper and pencil.
Man: I'll help you look.
Samael: .... Vulgrim?
Vulgrim: Yes?
Samael: Was this your plan from the start?
Vulgrim: Perhaps.
Hope you enjoyed this headcanon and I hope I got my facts right. If I did make any mistakes please let me know and I'll fix it as soon as I can.
Also thank you again @catcoffee02 for reminding me about how different parts of the animal are used to make all sorts of different things, drying foods, and about trade, opium, and the opium war. Wanted to write more but I felt like it was getting too long.
So next up it's the Angels turn to learn about how different parts of the animal are used to make different things and about how some humans are kind of obsessed with spicy peppers and about how humans have made a sauce that requires a waver and for you to pass TWO spice tolerance tests to even BUY it. And yes. For those of who who have seen Food Theory on Youtube. I'm talking about the episode "How to CONQUER Spicy Food! (Hot Ones Challenge)". Which I will link on the video's name. Hope everyone has a good day/afternoon/night.
Sorry that this took a while. Been a bit busy and didn't have much time to write.
Before we begin. There is one problem. Earth got wreaked. A lot. Which means that a lot of Earth's environments, plant, and animal life either changed or went extinct. How do we fix this? In my last headcanon I suggested that the Angels kept various copies of items and human media in all of it's forms as a way to explain how things like DVDs are still around 100 years after the apocalypse.
In this case Azrael took an interest in all the kinds of plants that grew on Earth. Over the years, and in secret, he collected seeds from the plants of Earth, learns how to grow them, and creates a green house that he cares for with a few of his scribes who are also interested in Earth's plant life.
This means that after Azrael was forced to open the Well of Souls and got trapped, his scribes took on the job of caring for the green house full time. And some of the plant life they actually like. Flowers are one of the favorites because they bring all sorts of colors to Heaven, since (as for as I have seen), Heaven mostly has white and yellow colors in their architecture (other than the occasional grey). So as you can guess they really likes the other kinds of colors that flowers have, I imagine tulips are a popular choice because of just how many different styles and patterns of tulips there are (there have been quite a few arguments over which tulip if best).
Another favorite type of plant is the ones that bear fruit and vegetables. Now, since Angels and Demons don't seem to need to eat, I imagine that they simple eat to enjoy the flavors, or in the case of Demons, they enjoy the taste of blood found in animals.
In my mind, a favorite fruit for Angels (particularly scribes) are grapes and apples. Why? Because unlike other fruits like strawberries and pomegranate seeds, they don't make a mess when you bite into them. This makes them perfect little snacks for scribes to have in a simple bowl while sorting scrolls or doing repetitive work. (there are others but if I include every single fruit and vegetable this would be too long)
On the other hand, they didn't really like plants like peppers, limes, and lemons. Actually, the first time an Angel ate a pepper out of curiosity they quickly panicked and asked for water because they felt like their mouth was on fire. Because of that, for a while at least, peppers became a test of resilience for the warrior Angels. Same thing for limes and lemons, but instead of a test of resilience, they became a test to see if you could not make a face after tasting the fruit's juice (basically a test to see if you could hold a poker face. and yes Abaddon succeeded. Uriel did not. she failed after a few seconds).
Most demons on the other hand, didn't care for plants. If they wanted to eat, it was meat, meat, and raw bloody meat. And even then, most of the time, it wasn't to enjoy the flavors of raw (or accidentally cooked) meat. It was often a way to intimidate enemies and allies alike by showing off the raw power of their sharp teeth. Though you won't see powerful figures like Samael doing this because he doesn't need to show off how powerful he is since his mere presence and aura are enough and if anyone was still stupid enough to try and take down the Lord of The Black Stone, he will put them in their place.
Though there is still one problem. Animals. Now one idea I have is that when Death revives humanity, the souls of humanity (who have not been cleansed of their past life because they hadn't been sent back into creation and thus still remembered their life) argued that animals counted as part of humanity because of how intertwined the lives of humans and animals are. So in the end, Death basically got a "revive one species and you revive the entire biosphere" deal. Why do I think this would work? Because let's be honest. The Nephilim were created from both Angels and Demons and they were very powerful. And this is the souls of their entire race (minus 4) we are talking about and as established in lore, souls are powerful, so (in my mind) it would make sense that a soul of a Nephilim would be more powerful than a soul of an Angel or Demon.
But what about if my idea ends up not working out? What then?
*Vulgrim has entered the chat*
What why is that here?
Vulgrim: I have a solution. Now you go on and get yourself some water while I explain.
Now hang on! This is my story and you can't just -
Vulgrim: Well. Now that they are out of the way. I can tell you my solution.
Vulgrim: Even before the apocalypse I knew that the Earth would suffer and in it, I saw an opportunity. I knew how much the humans cared for their animals and I knew that the Horsemen would not allow the humans to go extinct. So I decided to keep various animals that I knew humans kept as "farm animals" to make a profit in the future. Was it hard? Very. Did I almost quit? Almost. But the thought of the future profits kept me going.
Vulgrim: And I was right. After Abaddon was slain by War and Death revived humanity there was a need for food. I was originally going to accept human souls for food but then the Horsemen, mostly Death, paid the bill in coin and in the form of the souls of Angels and Demons. As you humans say, I racked in the gold. The Angels may have their plants that they give freely, but I have a monopoly on meats and other precious animals such as felines and canines and other animals that will help Earth to return to what it was before the apocalypse.
come in here and hey I'm back. So you done?
Vulgrim: Indeed.
Cool. Now please get out.
*Vulgrim leaves the chat*
So yeah. My other idea is that Vulgrim pulls a Noah from the bible and makes a giant farm and keeps a bunch of animals to later sell to humans at a high but reasonable price. He still has to make a living and this is the apocalypse we are taking about. So with everything set up, it is time for my take on what Angels and Demons think of human cooking.
At first, most Angels and Demons didn't really think much of it. Except for a few Angel scribes that worked under Azrael. They were quick to ask about cooking since the idea of it was something new to them and the idea that you could make something new out of ordinary ingredients was really fascinating. Foods like candy, cakes, soup, and even bread quickly became favorites for the scribes to enjoy during breaks or while hanging out and talking to other scribes. Especially the different types of bread. Cause. You're telling me that you can use the same basic ingredients to create all these different types of one food simply by using different methods of cooking it and adding other ingredients?! Wild.
As you can guess. It was funny to watch a bunch of nerdy angels geek out over bread and other kinds of food like cheese as well as how these foods are made and the history behind how humans found out how to make them.
In my opinion, most Angels prefer the more fruity, sweet, and mild flavors of human cooking. But like before with the pepper, lime, and lemon challenge, some took a liking to the more spicy, sour, and salty flavors of human cooking. And others took a liking to it as well. Others, like the Demons and it all begins in the spice capital of the world. India.
For those who don't know, India is known as the spice capital of the world as well as the birthplace of spices. Also, in famous Gordan Ramsay's show Uncharted, he travels to India to learn about it's food culture and gets treated to an extremely spicy drink that makes him spit it out almost instantly, smells like nothing at all, and even looks clear as water. This is the native chili called "kandhari".
Other than it's spices, India is also known for it's curry and the many different kind of curry found in India. While there are many other things that India is known for, I will be focusing on curry, spice, and the coconut and coconut milk that is known for helping curry have a milder flavor and a fragrant smell.
It starts when rumors of demons living in India are holding a village hostage. War and Fury leave with a few warrior angels, led by Uriel, to scout out the situation. When they get there they see a village and they see demons. But it doesn't look like they are holding the village hostage. They are actually eating with the humans. One of the women speaks up.
Woman 1: Hello. Have you traveled far? Come and eat with us. We just made some curry.
Uriel: Good evening to you. We heard rumors of demons keeping this village hostage. But it appears that the rumor is false. Can you tell us how you came to coexist with demons?
One of the demons stands up.
Demon 1: I'll explain what happened. We originally came to this village to take what valuables we could find. But then the smell of this curry attracted our attention. We traded some coin for a few bowls and the taste was something truly incredible. So we stayed and in exchange for helping to keep this village safe we get a bowl of curry everyday.
Demon 2: Yes. The human women here are truly masters of their craft and the art of using spices in their cooking.
Woman 1: You are more than welcome to try some if you'd like.
The woman pours a few bowls of curry and offers it to them.
War, Fury, and Uriel look at each other before an angel takes a bowl.
Angel 1: How spicy could a single dish be?
He was proven wrong the exact moment he took a bite and froze.
Angel 1: HOTHOTHOTHOT! OH BY THE CREATOR THIS TASTES OF HELL ITSELF!
The angel then proceeds to cough like mad.
Woman 2: Yeah that's about what I expected.
Woman 1: *laughing her but off*
Fury: *also laughing like a mad woman*
Uriel: I've tried limes and peppers before but none gave anyone THAT kind of reaction.
Woman 2: HA! The spices we grow and use here are much stronger than your typical limes or peppers. Our home, India, is known for being the spice capital of the world. And curry uses a number of species all blended together.
Uriel: Now I see why he acts like as if he ate solid hellfire.
One of the women then hands the angel a drink which he snatches up and finishes in just a few gulps.
Angel: What kind of drink is this? It doesn't taste like water. In fact it is quite sweet.
Woman 2: That is coconut water. Helps to cool down the body.
And to add insult to injury when the angel looks back he sees humans eating the curry no problem! Just what kind of taste buds do they have!?
Fury: So what kind of food is curry anyway?
Woman 1: It is a spicy dish and some versions have different meats and vegetables. And here we love our spices.
Fury: *looking at the angel who tried the curry* I can see that.
War: So everything is. Good here?
Woman 1: Yes. We are just fine.
Fury: So um. Can I try some of that?
War: I would also like a bowl.
Uriel: I think I'll stick to trying that coconut water you mentioned before.
With that they had a wonderful time talking to the villagers, trying the local cuisine and drinks (and watching the angels who did also try the curry absolutely lose it at how spicy it was since for many of them it was their first time trying something spicy and this is India, the capital of spice, for crying out loud), and getting information from the demons on actually evil plans going down around Asia (as far as they knew at least).
(Last thing. If I got anything about India or curry wrong please let me know. I strive to represent different cultures accurately and I don't want to accidentally misrepresent different cultures or use racist terms.)
Uh! I also know something that's extremely funny: the different ways animals are slaughtered!
In countries where it is extremely hot, or in cultures born or developed in deserts or hot, dry climates, you'll see that animals are dried to prevent them from rotting. Sometimes this is written down as a religious rule, but it's mostly due to the climate. So, hallal meat, kosher meat, etc. exist because those religions originated in deserts and warm climates. The same applies to alcohol because it goes off in hot climates, even though some religions do not actually condemn the use of alcohol like Islam do, but rather the excess of it.
I think there are different ways in which animals are used for various purposes: glue, objects made from bones, leather, meat from different parts of the animal, and even scraps that are used to make food such as salami, wurstel, sausage... I know there are others.
There was also trade in food and drugs such as opium, which was used as a painkiller.
And that's my contribution to this head canon. What a day to be mixed!
I completely forgot about how different parts of an animal are used to make different things! Thank you for reminding me and for teaching me about how in warmer climates people dry meat to prevent it from rotting. I'll definitely be including the things you said in my next darksiders headcanon as well as tag you. If it's ok with you, of course.
Sorry that this took a while. Been a bit busy and didn't have much time to write.
Before we begin. There is one problem. Earth got wreaked. A lot. Which means that a lot of Earth's environments, plant, and animal life either changed or went extinct. How do we fix this? In my last headcanon I suggested that the Angels kept various copies of items and human media in all of it's forms as a way to explain how things like DVDs are still around 100 years after the apocalypse.
In this case Azrael took an interest in all the kinds of plants that grew on Earth. Over the years, and in secret, he collected seeds from the plants of Earth, learns how to grow them, and creates a green house that he cares for with a few of his scribes who are also interested in Earth's plant life.
This means that after Azrael was forced to open the Well of Souls and got trapped, his scribes took on the job of caring for the green house full time. And some of the plant life they actually like. Flowers are one of the favorites because they bring all sorts of colors to Heaven, since (as for as I have seen), Heaven mostly has white and yellow colors in their architecture (other than the occasional grey). So as you can guess they really likes the other kinds of colors that flowers have, I imagine tulips are a popular choice because of just how many different styles and patterns of tulips there are (there have been quite a few arguments over which tulip if best).
Another favorite type of plant is the ones that bear fruit and vegetables. Now, since Angels and Demons don't seem to need to eat, I imagine that they simple eat to enjoy the flavors, or in the case of Demons, they enjoy the taste of blood found in animals.
In my mind, a favorite fruit for Angels (particularly scribes) are grapes and apples. Why? Because unlike other fruits like strawberries and pomegranate seeds, they don't make a mess when you bite into them. This makes them perfect little snacks for scribes to have in a simple bowl while sorting scrolls or doing repetitive work. (there are others but if I include every single fruit and vegetable this would be too long)
On the other hand, they didn't really like plants like peppers, limes, and lemons. Actually, the first time an Angel ate a pepper out of curiosity they quickly panicked and asked for water because they felt like their mouth was on fire. Because of that, for a while at least, peppers became a test of resilience for the warrior Angels. Same thing for limes and lemons, but instead of a test of resilience, they became a test to see if you could not make a face after tasting the fruit's juice (basically a test to see if you could hold a poker face. and yes Abaddon succeeded. Uriel did not. she failed after a few seconds).
Most demons on the other hand, didn't care for plants. If they wanted to eat, it was meat, meat, and raw bloody meat. And even then, most of the time, it wasn't to enjoy the flavors of raw (or accidentally cooked) meat. It was often a way to intimidate enemies and allies alike by showing off the raw power of their sharp teeth. Though you won't see powerful figures like Samael doing this because he doesn't need to show off how powerful he is since his mere presence and aura are enough and if anyone was still stupid enough to try and take down the Lord of The Black Stone, he will put them in their place.
Though there is still one problem. Animals. Now one idea I have is that when Death revives humanity, the souls of humanity (who have not been cleansed of their past life because they hadn't been sent back into creation and thus still remembered their life) argued that animals counted as part of humanity because of how intertwined the lives of humans and animals are. So in the end, Death basically got a "revive one species and you revive the entire biosphere" deal. Why do I think this would work? Because let's be honest. The Nephilim were created from both Angels and Demons and they were very powerful. And this is the souls of their entire race (minus 4) we are talking about and as established in lore, souls are powerful, so (in my mind) it would make sense that a soul of a Nephilim would be more powerful than a soul of an Angel or Demon.
But what about if my idea ends up not working out? What then?
*Vulgrim has entered the chat*
What why is that here?
Vulgrim: I have a solution. Now you go on and get yourself some water while I explain.
Now hang on! This is my story and you can't just -
Vulgrim: Well. Now that they are out of the way. I can tell you my solution.
Vulgrim: Even before the apocalypse I knew that the Earth would suffer and in it, I saw an opportunity. I knew how much the humans cared for their animals and I knew that the Horsemen would not allow the humans to go extinct. So I decided to keep various animals that I knew humans kept as "farm animals" to make a profit in the future. Was it hard? Very. Did I almost quit? Almost. But the thought of the future profits kept me going.
Vulgrim: And I was right. After Abaddon was slain by War and Death revived humanity there was a need for food. I was originally going to accept human souls for food but then the Horsemen, mostly Death, paid the bill in coin and in the form of the souls of Angels and Demons. As you humans say, I racked in the gold. The Angels may have their plants that they give freely, but I have a monopoly on meats and other precious animals such as felines and canines and other animals that will help Earth to return to what it was before the apocalypse.
come in here and hey I'm back. So you done?
Vulgrim: Indeed.
Cool. Now please get out.
*Vulgrim leaves the chat*
So yeah. My other idea is that Vulgrim pulls a Noah from the bible and makes a giant farm and keeps a bunch of animals to later sell to humans at a high but reasonable price. He still has to make a living and this is the apocalypse we are taking about. So with everything set up, it is time for my take on what Angels and Demons think of human cooking.
At first, most Angels and Demons didn't really think much of it. Except for a few Angel scribes that worked under Azrael. They were quick to ask about cooking since the idea of it was something new to them and the idea that you could make something new out of ordinary ingredients was really fascinating. Foods like candy, cakes, soup, and even bread quickly became favorites for the scribes to enjoy during breaks or while hanging out and talking to other scribes. Especially the different types of bread. Cause. You're telling me that you can use the same basic ingredients to create all these different types of one food simply by using different methods of cooking it and adding other ingredients?! Wild.
As you can guess. It was funny to watch a bunch of nerdy angels geek out over bread and other kinds of food like cheese as well as how these foods are made and the history behind how humans found out how to make them.
In my opinion, most Angels prefer the more fruity, sweet, and mild flavors of human cooking. But like before with the pepper, lime, and lemon challenge, some took a liking to the more spicy, sour, and salty flavors of human cooking. And others took a liking to it as well. Others, like the Demons and it all begins in the spice capital of the world. India.
For those who don't know, India is known as the spice capital of the world as well as the birthplace of spices. Also, in famous Gordan Ramsay's show Uncharted, he travels to India to learn about it's food culture and gets treated to an extremely spicy drink that makes him spit it out almost instantly, smells like nothing at all, and even looks clear as water. This is the native chili called "kandhari".
Other than it's spices, India is also known for it's curry and the many different kind of curry found in India. While there are many other things that India is known for, I will be focusing on curry, spice, and the coconut and coconut milk that is known for helping curry have a milder flavor and a fragrant smell.
It starts when rumors of demons living in India are holding a village hostage. War and Fury leave with a few warrior angels, led by Uriel, to scout out the situation. When they get there they see a village and they see demons. But it doesn't look like they are holding the village hostage. They are actually eating with the humans. One of the women speaks up.
Woman 1: Hello. Have you traveled far? Come and eat with us. We just made some curry.
Uriel: Good evening to you. We heard rumors of demons keeping this village hostage. But it appears that the rumor is false. Can you tell us how you came to coexist with demons?
One of the demons stands up.
Demon 1: I'll explain what happened. We originally came to this village to take what valuables we could find. But then the smell of this curry attracted our attention. We traded some coin for a few bowls and the taste was something truly incredible. So we stayed and in exchange for helping to keep this village safe we get a bowl of curry everyday.
Demon 2: Yes. The human women here are truly masters of their craft and the art of using spices in their cooking.
Woman 1: You are more than welcome to try some if you'd like.
The woman pours a few bowls of curry and offers it to them.
War, Fury, and Uriel look at each other before an angel takes a bowl.
Angel 1: How spicy could a single dish be?
He was proven wrong the exact moment he took a bite and froze.
Angel 1: HOTHOTHOTHOT! OH BY THE CREATOR THIS TASTES OF HELL ITSELF!
The angel then proceeds to cough like mad.
Woman 2: Yeah that's about what I expected.
Woman 1: *laughing her but off*
Fury: *also laughing like a mad woman*
Uriel: I've tried limes and peppers before but none gave anyone THAT kind of reaction.
Woman 2: HA! The spices we grow and use here are much stronger than your typical limes or peppers. Our home, India, is known for being the spice capital of the world. And curry uses a number of species all blended together.
Uriel: Now I see why he acts like as if he ate solid hellfire.
One of the women then hands the angel a drink which he snatches up and finishes in just a few gulps.
Angel: What kind of drink is this? It doesn't taste like water. In fact it is quite sweet.
Woman 2: That is coconut water. Helps to cool down the body.
And to add insult to injury when the angel looks back he sees humans eating the curry no problem! Just what kind of taste buds do they have!?
Fury: So what kind of food is curry anyway?
Woman 1: It is a spicy dish and some versions have different meats and vegetables. And here we love our spices.
Fury: *looking at the angel who tried the curry* I can see that.
War: So everything is. Good here?
Woman 1: Yes. We are just fine.
Fury: So um. Can I try some of that?
War: I would also like a bowl.
Uriel: I think I'll stick to trying that coconut water you mentioned before.
With that they had a wonderful time talking to the villagers, trying the local cuisine and drinks (and watching the angels who did also try the curry absolutely lose it at how spicy it was since for many of them it was their first time trying something spicy and this is India, the capital of spice, for crying out loud), and getting information from the demons on actually evil plans going down around Asia (as far as they knew at least).
(Last thing. If I got anything about India or curry wrong please let me know. I strive to represent different cultures accurately and I don't want to accidentally misrepresent different cultures or use racist terms.)
Uh! I also know something that's extremely funny: the different ways animals are slaughtered!
In countries where it is extremely hot, or in cultures born or developed in deserts or hot, dry climates, you'll see that animals are dried to prevent them from rotting. Sometimes this is written down as a religious rule, but it's mostly due to the climate. So, hallal meat, kosher meat, etc. exist because those religions originated in deserts and warm climates. The same applies to alcohol because it goes off in hot climates, even though some religions do not actually condemn the use of alcohol like Islam do, but rather the excess of it.
I think there are different ways in which animals are used for various purposes: glue, objects made from bones, leather, meat from different parts of the animal, and even scraps that are used to make food such as salami, wurstel, sausage... I know there are others.
There was also trade in food and drugs such as opium, which was used as a painkiller.
And that's my contribution to this head canon. What a day to be mixed!
I completely forgot about how different parts of an animal are used to make different things! Thank you for reminding me and for teaching me about how in warmer climates people dry meat to prevent it from rotting. I'll definitely be including the things you said in my next darksiders headcanon as well as tag you. If it's ok with you, of course.
Sorry that this took a while. Been a bit busy and didn't have much time to write.
Before we begin. There is one problem. Earth got wreaked. A lot. Which means that a lot of Earth's environments, plant, and animal life either changed or went extinct. How do we fix this? In my last headcanon I suggested that the Angels kept various copies of items and human media in all of it's forms as a way to explain how things like DVDs are still around 100 years after the apocalypse.
In this case Azrael took an interest in all the kinds of plants that grew on Earth. Over the years, and in secret, he collected seeds from the plants of Earth, learns how to grow them, and creates a green house that he cares for with a few of his scribes who are also interested in Earth's plant life.
This means that after Azrael was forced to open the Well of Souls and got trapped, his scribes took on the job of caring for the green house full time. And some of the plant life they actually like. Flowers are one of the favorites because they bring all sorts of colors to Heaven, since (as for as I have seen), Heaven mostly has white and yellow colors in their architecture (other than the occasional grey). So as you can guess they really likes the other kinds of colors that flowers have, I imagine tulips are a popular choice because of just how many different styles and patterns of tulips there are (there have been quite a few arguments over which tulip if best).
Another favorite type of plant is the ones that bear fruit and vegetables. Now, since Angels and Demons don't seem to need to eat, I imagine that they simple eat to enjoy the flavors, or in the case of Demons, they enjoy the taste of blood found in animals.
In my mind, a favorite fruit for Angels (particularly scribes) are grapes and apples. Why? Because unlike other fruits like strawberries and pomegranate seeds, they don't make a mess when you bite into them. This makes them perfect little snacks for scribes to have in a simple bowl while sorting scrolls or doing repetitive work. (there are others but if I include every single fruit and vegetable this would be too long)
On the other hand, they didn't really like plants like peppers, limes, and lemons. Actually, the first time an Angel ate a pepper out of curiosity they quickly panicked and asked for water because they felt like their mouth was on fire. Because of that, for a while at least, peppers became a test of resilience for the warrior Angels. Same thing for limes and lemons, but instead of a test of resilience, they became a test to see if you could not make a face after tasting the fruit's juice (basically a test to see if you could hold a poker face. and yes Abaddon succeeded. Uriel did not. she failed after a few seconds).
Most demons on the other hand, didn't care for plants. If they wanted to eat, it was meat, meat, and raw bloody meat. And even then, most of the time, it wasn't to enjoy the flavors of raw (or accidentally cooked) meat. It was often a way to intimidate enemies and allies alike by showing off the raw power of their sharp teeth. Though you won't see powerful figures like Samael doing this because he doesn't need to show off how powerful he is since his mere presence and aura are enough and if anyone was still stupid enough to try and take down the Lord of The Black Stone, he will put them in their place.
Though there is still one problem. Animals. Now one idea I have is that when Death revives humanity, the souls of humanity (who have not been cleansed of their past life because they hadn't been sent back into creation and thus still remembered their life) argued that animals counted as part of humanity because of how intertwined the lives of humans and animals are. So in the end, Death basically got a "revive one species and you revive the entire biosphere" deal. Why do I think this would work? Because let's be honest. The Nephilim were created from both Angels and Demons and they were very powerful. And this is the souls of their entire race (minus 4) we are talking about and as established in lore, souls are powerful, so (in my mind) it would make sense that a soul of a Nephilim would be more powerful than a soul of an Angel or Demon.
But what about if my idea ends up not working out? What then?
*Vulgrim has entered the chat*
What why is that here?
Vulgrim: I have a solution. Now you go on and get yourself some water while I explain.
Now hang on! This is my story and you can't just -
Vulgrim: Well. Now that they are out of the way. I can tell you my solution.
Vulgrim: Even before the apocalypse I knew that the Earth would suffer and in it, I saw an opportunity. I knew how much the humans cared for their animals and I knew that the Horsemen would not allow the humans to go extinct. So I decided to keep various animals that I knew humans kept as "farm animals" to make a profit in the future. Was it hard? Very. Did I almost quit? Almost. But the thought of the future profits kept me going.
Vulgrim: And I was right. After Abaddon was slain by War and Death revived humanity there was a need for food. I was originally going to accept human souls for food but then the Horsemen, mostly Death, paid the bill in coin and in the form of the souls of Angels and Demons. As you humans say, I racked in the gold. The Angels may have their plants that they give freely, but I have a monopoly on meats and other precious animals such as felines and canines and other animals that will help Earth to return to what it was before the apocalypse.
come in here and hey I'm back. So you done?
Vulgrim: Indeed.
Cool. Now please get out.
*Vulgrim leaves the chat*
So yeah. My other idea is that Vulgrim pulls a Noah from the bible and makes a giant farm and keeps a bunch of animals to later sell to humans at a high but reasonable price. He still has to make a living and this is the apocalypse we are taking about. So with everything set up, it is time for my take on what Angels and Demons think of human cooking.
At first, most Angels and Demons didn't really think much of it. Except for a few Angel scribes that worked under Azrael. They were quick to ask about cooking since the idea of it was something new to them and the idea that you could make something new out of ordinary ingredients was really fascinating. Foods like candy, cakes, soup, and even bread quickly became favorites for the scribes to enjoy during breaks or while hanging out and talking to other scribes. Especially the different types of bread. Cause. You're telling me that you can use the same basic ingredients to create all these different types of one food simply by using different methods of cooking it and adding other ingredients?! Wild.
As you can guess. It was funny to watch a bunch of nerdy angels geek out over bread and other kinds of food like cheese as well as how these foods are made and the history behind how humans found out how to make them.
In my opinion, most Angels prefer the more fruity, sweet, and mild flavors of human cooking. But like before with the pepper, lime, and lemon challenge, some took a liking to the more spicy, sour, and salty flavors of human cooking. And others took a liking to it as well. Others, like the Demons and it all begins in the spice capital of the world. India.
For those who don't know, India is known as the spice capital of the world as well as the birthplace of spices. Also, in famous Gordan Ramsay's show Uncharted, he travels to India to learn about it's food culture and gets treated to an extremely spicy drink that makes him spit it out almost instantly, smells like nothing at all, and even looks clear as water. This is the native chili called "kandhari".
Other than it's spices, India is also known for it's curry and the many different kind of curry found in India. While there are many other things that India is known for, I will be focusing on curry, spice, and the coconut and coconut milk that is known for helping curry have a milder flavor and a fragrant smell.
It starts when rumors of demons living in India are holding a village hostage. War and Fury leave with a few warrior angels, led by Uriel, to scout out the situation. When they get there they see a village and they see demons. But it doesn't look like they are holding the village hostage. They are actually eating with the humans. One of the women speaks up.
Woman 1: Hello. Have you traveled far? Come and eat with us. We just made some curry.
Uriel: Good evening to you. We heard rumors of demons keeping this village hostage. But it appears that the rumor is false. Can you tell us how you came to coexist with demons?
One of the demons stands up.
Demon 1: I'll explain what happened. We originally came to this village to take what valuables we could find. But then the smell of this curry attracted our attention. We traded some coin for a few bowls and the taste was something truly incredible. So we stayed and in exchange for helping to keep this village safe we get a bowl of curry everyday.
Demon 2: Yes. The human women here are truly masters of their craft and the art of using spices in their cooking.
Woman 1: You are more than welcome to try some if you'd like.
The woman pours a few bowls of curry and offers it to them.
War, Fury, and Uriel look at each other before an angel takes a bowl.
Angel 1: How spicy could a single dish be?
He was proven wrong the exact moment he took a bite and froze.
Angel 1: HOTHOTHOTHOT! OH BY THE CREATOR THIS TASTES OF HELL ITSELF!
The angel then proceeds to cough like mad.
Woman 2: Yeah that's about what I expected.
Woman 1: *laughing her but off*
Fury: *also laughing like a mad woman*
Uriel: I've tried limes and peppers before but none gave anyone THAT kind of reaction.
Woman 2: HA! The spices we grow and use here are much stronger than your typical limes or peppers. Our home, India, is known for being the spice capital of the world. And curry uses a number of species all blended together.
Uriel: Now I see why he acts like as if he ate solid hellfire.
One of the women then hands the angel a drink which he snatches up and finishes in just a few gulps.
Angel: What kind of drink is this? It doesn't taste like water. In fact it is quite sweet.
Woman 2: That is coconut water. Helps to cool down the body.
And to add insult to injury when the angel looks back he sees humans eating the curry no problem! Just what kind of taste buds do they have!?
Fury: So what kind of food is curry anyway?
Woman 1: It is a spicy dish and some versions have different meats and vegetables. And here we love our spices.
Fury: *looking at the angel who tried the curry* I can see that.
War: So everything is. Good here?
Woman 1: Yes. We are just fine.
Fury: So um. Can I try some of that?
War: I would also like a bowl.
Uriel: I think I'll stick to trying that coconut water you mentioned before.
With that they had a wonderful time talking to the villagers, trying the local cuisine and drinks (and watching the angels who did also try the curry absolutely lose it at how spicy it was since for many of them it was their first time trying something spicy and this is India, the capital of spice, for crying out loud), and getting information from the demons on actually evil plans going down around Asia (as far as they knew at least).
(Last thing. If I got anything about India or curry wrong please let me know. I strive to represent different cultures accurately and I don't want to accidentally misrepresent different cultures or use racist terms.)
Darksiders Headcanons #3: The Horsemen, The Angel, and the movie Bambi
Bambi. The Disney movie about a sweet little fawn who I bet no one expected to make people cry on their first watch. Bambi. A movie that will completely take the Four Horsemen, and the sweet angel of death Azrael, by surprise. And for anyone who is going to come into MY comments all like "oh but no DVD would still be usable after a hundred years". SHUT IT! Let me have my fun! We can say that over the course of human history, other angels who were interested in human culture took items from Earth back to Heaven and hid them somewhere IDK we're going with that so sit back and enjoy my ramblings.
(Also I changed the name cause I didn't think the name I first came up with fit what I ended up writing. Hope you enjoy either way.)
Back in his time as Jones, Strife had always tried to help any human survivor he came across. Then when humanity got revived and word got out about how he had done his best to help, Strife was suddenly the most well liked of his siblings. In the area around Haven at least. So it was a bit of a surprise when he and his siblings got invited to a human movie night by a child that Strife had helped save and brought to Haven. For Death at least because he was surprised that there was anyone who actually put up with Strife's nonsense. Though it was nice of the parents of the human child to allow them to bring others as well. The more the merrier they said. Death knew that Azrael would greatly enjoy a chance at seeing the works of art that a team of humans worked so hard to make and it would make for a great chance to catch up so why not.
As expected, Death was right. Azrael greatly appreciated the invite and relished the opportunity to see a human animated film, one that is aimed at children, one that will give him a glimpse of what kind of entertainment is shown to little ones.
Though Fury was less than excited about going to watch some children's movie. War also didn't really see the use in watching a children's movie, but Death insisted that she come since it could help improve their image among humans.
So yeah. pretty much all of them thought they were in for a nice family fun movie while getting to know a bit more about human entertainment. That was what was going on.
Death wasn't expecting this movie to begin with the birth of a fawn. But with that in mind he expected that this movie would be some kind of coming of age story. Though. Watching as this little fawn takes it first steps, tries to speak, learning how to walk properly, getting scared and seeking his mother for comfort during a thunderstorm, all while his mother watches, guides, and cares for him. During all of this and as much as Death doesn't want to, he can't help but be reminded of Lilith, his so called mother. He can't help but wonder. What of the nephilim, what if Absalom, had a mother like Bambi's other? Would the nephilim have grown to be a more peaceful race? What would have changed if the nephilim had a different mother? While such ideas sounded nice, there was no changing the past. Not their past at least.
Then Death realized something. Why doesn't Bambi's mother have a name? All these other animals seem to have a name. So why not her? ......
Oh no.
Meanwhile, Azrael was greatly enjoying watching this little fawn called Bambi discovering all sorts of things, watching Bambi learn how to speak. Just all the visuals and music, how the entire movie is drawn by hand, how each musical note fits with the scene it is paired with, and admiring all the time, energy, and effort was put into making each movement come alive. The joy of finding something new. The process of growing up and finding who you are. It was always so amazing. It was always so wonderful when he got to be a part of that process. Especially now, as the human child is giggling at Bambi's attempts to say bird, at Bambi mistaking a butterfly for a bird, and at Bambi mistaking a flower for a butterfly, and all while running their fingers through his feathers. These humans. This child. They didn't deserve what happened. He should have known better. He should have done better.
Strife on the other hand was having a great time! I mean, this cute little creature (what was it again? a lamb? ok) was just living life one new discovery at a time. And each time Bambi sent the other animals flying with how loud he could be, each time he made a mistake as newborns do, and as Bambi learned how to hop and walk, he laughed alongside the human child. He could see why humans enjoy movies! They were fun, full of laughs, pretty to look at, and a way to momentarily escape how harsh reality could be. That's what all children's movies are like. Right?
Fury knew that she would be bored when she first saw the cover for this film. But watching as the fawn stumbles about and saying the wrong names for things was pretty funny. Watching as it frolics about in the meadow and chases a frog, she starts to wonder if Rampage was like that when he was young. Would he too like wondering around Earth's many climates? It doesn't matter right now. Cause while she is like, 80, maybe 75% sure Rampage doesn't blame her for what happened that doesn't mean that she still does. She has a lot to make up for.
The movie goes on, Bambi figures out that what he sees in the water is his own reflection, then at him seeing another fawn, apparently named Faline, and then getting scared of her. At first, War doesn't get it. Doesn't Bambi understand that she is another fawn? But the more War thinks about it, the more he starts to understand. Bambi has only recently been born. He is still learning about the world and this is his first time encountering another one of his kind that isn't his mother. It is only natural for a child to fear what they don't know and for them to seek their parents or guardian for answers. Maybe this movie is more than just something to entertain children, but also to teach them a few life skills such as where to go for help and how to properly interact with other young ones. Maybe. But for now, War kind of enjoyed watching these little fawns play and seeing how these deer act and live. He almost forgot that deer are technically a prey species. Almost.
Then, they reach the scene that would be the first time a human shows up in the movie. A hunter.
The first sign that something was going to happen was when the child hid behind one of Azrael's wings while saying that this part was scary. It starts with birds, probably crows or ravens, cawing, the music too seems to be in a panic, and the Great Prince, as the deer call him, runs back to the meadow and seems to warn the others of danger. The deer bolt into the forest but Bambi is separated from his mother. Bambi calls for his mother but he doesn't see her. The Prince finds and leads Bambi back to the forest, with Bambi's mother joining them. And as they return to the safety of the forest two shots ring out. When it is finally safe Bambi questions what just happened and his mother answers that man was in the forest. It's a simple explanation, but a clear one. They were almost the targets of a hunter.
This scene takes most of them by surprise, except Death who expected something like this. Strife even grabs the DVD box to read the rating again as Azrael peaks over his shoulder cause he REALLY wasn't expecting something like THAT. War saw the signs as he saw the birds fly off in a panic though he too wasn't expecting that to occur in a children's movie. Fury however is delighted by the surprise. Children need to be taught the tough lessons and this one, one about always having to be aware of danger is a good one!
The scene passes and summer turns into fall, and fall into winter they all see Bambi experience it for the first time. As some humans say, you never really forget your first winter. And that seems to be true for Bambi as they watch him make hoof prints in the snow and at how he seems to try and swim through the snow and at his first encounter with ice. It manages to get a chuckle out of Fury, though she would never admit it and constantly denies that it ever happened. It's a nice way for kids to calm down form the panic inducing scene.
Though it doesn't stay that way for long as they see the deer's struggle to survive during winter, a time of both beautiful snow and limited food availability. They see Bambi's mother struggle to keep her son fed and they see them struggle to get through snow storms. But it is worth it as they soon see the first signs of spring. If only it remained peaceful.
Once more the child hides behind Azrael's wing as the music starts to build up to something. Bambi's mother shots up and looks around, as if searching for something. She tells him to run for the forest and as they hear they hear the sounds of gunfire once more.
The hunter is back. But this is a kids movie and they already did a fake out once. They wouldn't kill Bambi's mother right?
Right?
As Bambi runs his mother tells him to run faster, to not look back, to keep running. One final shot rings out as Bambi continues to run.
But his mother isn't following him.
Death and Azrael already know what just happened. War and Fury are waiting to see if what they think just happened really DID happen. And Strife? He's in disbelief. This is a movie for children! They wouldn't just do that. Would they?
But as Bambi searches for his mother, calling for her, and the music grows somber, they know that she won't answer his call. She's gone.
The Great Prince's words, the first in this movie, only confirm it. She's dead and Bambi now knows it. The reveal that Bambi is his son does little to soothe the pain that comes with seeing a child come to terms with loosing their parent.
Then this movie has the GALL to fade to black only for the music to be all happy, for it to be spring, and for the birds to be all lovey dovey! Like dang! Give them a few more seconds to mourn the death of this fictional character please! Pretty sure everyone except Death got whiplash from this. And then it's revealed that Bambi is all grown up now. Like WHAT! Look how big he is! Look at his horns! Oh he's growing up to be a fine young deer. I think.
Then they see first love take hold. First with the skunk Flower, then with the rabbit Thumper, and finally with Bambi when he see Faline again. It's beautiful. At least for Azrael that is. Honestly I don't think War, Fury, or Death cared much for it. Maybe Strife but IDK. Then once more the scene changes. Another stag tries to force her away from him. Bambi fight him the colors grow dark. It's a stark contrast to the colorful scene that came before it. Bambi wins after throwing the other stag into a small lake and when Bambi goes back to Faline the colors return and they travel together, enjoying each others company.
Though it doesn't stay that way for long as during the night Bambi wakes up. Something is wrong. The ground is covered in a lair of what looks like fog. Bambi soon climbs a mountain and he sees smoke from a camp. The Great Prince soon joins Bambi and confirms that man is back, but there are many this time. They have to go deeper into the forest to avoid them. Faline wakes up and searches for Bambi and the two of them loose each other.
The child once more hides behind Azrael's feathers. Another scary moment is coming, scary for a child at least. Other animals go into hiding, sensing that man is nearby. A group of quail hide in the tall grass. They are better off hiding and keeping quiet. But as a man gets closer one of them starts to panic. They know what's going to happen. One of them is going to break, make a run for it, and either get to safety or die trying.
And their right. One of the quails can't take it and flies for it, only to be shot. As her body hits the ground it sends other animals into a panic. More shots ring out. They don't show how many other animals got shot, though they could imagine that a few were. Each of them had seen this kind of thing before. A few angels or demons caught in a trap, having to wait for the enemy to pass. The pressure can break them, mostly the young or inexperienced and they often pay the price for it with their lives.
Back to the movie, and Bambi is still searching for Faline. But hunting dogs find her first. She runs for it and is eventually cornered. She calls for Bambi and he follows her voice. He charges in and fights back, despite the fact he is outnumbered. Faline escapes and now it's Bambi's turn. He manages to escape but as he takes a leap of faith across a large gap, he is shot.
Back at the camp, and the unattended fire soon spreads and quickly becomes a wildfire and animals are forced to flee from their homes. Bambi is still alive and the Great Prince urges him to get up. He helps Bambi to get up and leads him out of the forest. But by this point the fire has spread so far. Every path seems to be blocked by fire. Once more they have to take a leap of faith down a waterfall and into the water bellow. It seems that many animals have escaped the fire, Faline being one of them and soon Bambi and the Great Prince joins them.
The scene changes to some time after the fire. The forest is starting to heal and grow back. Flowers are blooming. It is spring once more. Thumper is an adult and has his own children. Flower too has a kid who he has named after Bambi. They are celebrating. It seems Faline has given birth to twins. Bambi is seen off in the distance with the Great Prince. The Great Prince leaves, possibly leaving Bambi as the new Prince of the forest.
None of them had expected for a children's movie with such an innocent cover to have so many dark scenes and such important lessons such as death cause from what they have seen, some humans are reluctant to teach children about important lessons such as death. Overall, this movie surprised them and some parts where rather enjoyable.
I think Azreal's favorite scene would have been Bambi's first day out in the wide world. I think this scene would also be Strife's favorite since it's not everyday he can witness the a child's first experiences. As for Death I think his favorite scene would be the Great Prince comforting Bambi after his mother passes. Humans often think of death as an evil thing, so to see a scene where rather than having one in the depths of denial or grief, they accept it as a part of everyday life. It is something Death doesn't see often in human literature, at least during the times he had read human literature. I think Fury's favorite scene would be seeing Bambi fight to protect Faline, a scene that I think is also War's favorite. This scene would be Fury's and War's favorite because they understand what it is like to fight for the ones they care for, to fight to protect the innocent, and to fight for what they believe in.
Anyway. That's all I got. Hope you enjoy it and next up at a later date is Angels and Demons experience human cuisine. But first I got to go look up different cultures cuisine and styles of cooking. Wish me luck and I hope you all have a good day/night.
Darksiders Headcanons #2: Strife using the Elderstone to bring back power to human cities
So for anyone who hasn't played or watched a play through/the cut scenes for Darksiders Genesis the Elderstone is described as divine power in its purest form. But when you do the puzzles that require the Elderstone it gives off electricity and seems to be able to power things up like a battery. So in my headcanon, the Elderstone is like a giant battery made up of divine power. This leads me to my other headcanon is that after Strife learns about what The Council did he goes back and steals the artifacts that The Council most likely confiscated, like the Void Bomb for example, and the Elderstone because come on. The Council will not let some demon who is known to strike deals and take advantage of a situation have a really powerful divine artifact.
This leads me to my next headcanon, some time after the seventh seal was broken and Death, Fury, and Strife were brought to Earth Strife learns about how humans have harnessed electricity to power pretty much everything but because of the whole apocalypse thing it set them back tech wise by a lot. So Strife, being the ever so helpful horsemen that he is and remembering the Elderstone, decides to put it to use.
Only when he actually tries to use it to it is like trying to power a Tamagotchi with a nuclear reactor. It is too much power and it explodes in Strife's face. One clean up later and Strife practices learning how to control how much power the Elderstone puts out with the help of a Nokia phone (which surprises even Death with how seemingly indestructible it is). After some time Strife goes on a few months campaign of bring back power to whatever places can still get power, any surviving portable chargers, devices, and basically anything that runs on electricity. This obviously proves to help bring a more positive light on the horsemen's reputation, mostly for Strife. This also helps in future since now some humans are a bit more comfortable talking to the horsemen, mostly when talking to Strife and Death since Death revived humanity and (in my headcanon anyway) Strife helped to bring power back to at least a few places.
With this in mind it is only a matter of time before Strife gets invited to a few celebrations and even being shown a few pieces of human media that have managed to survive somehow. Which leads to another headcanon of mine which I will write and post at a later date, The Bambi Incident.
So. It's been a while since I have really posted anything. Mostly, I've been busy and (as you may have guessed from the title) I recently got into the Darksiders games. I have finished both Darksiders Warmastered and Darksiders Genesis, and they are both great. I highly recommend playing them if you get the chance. Anyway. I want to share a headcanon/scenario I have, and that is which of the Horsemen would fall for the good old Charlie Brown and the football gag. Staring with the one who falls for it every time. Strife.
Strife: During his time as Jones, Strife would have learned a lot about humans. Especially human humor. And during one day, one of the humans who somehow manages to find a few Peanuts comics and they were all laughing until Jones asked the question that sealed his fate. "So. What's Peanuts?". Almost immediately they all stop and exchange a mischievous grin, with Jones being none the wiser. "Oh. It's great. I can show you one of the best running gags in the comic series." One of the humans says as they grab a football. They hold the football in place and tell Jones to run up and kick it. And Jones, being none the wiser does so since he has no reason not to think that this is a trick. Cue the human pulling the football away at the last second and Jones being sent crashing to the ground Charlie Brown style as everyone else laughs. It takes Jones a second to realize what just happened and when he does he laughs up a storm with them while saying that they got him good. It's a moment of joy that they all treasure. Since then every time someone comes up to him with a football he plays dumb and falls for it every time. Any kids in Haven take full advantage of this and Strife/Jones is more than happy to play dumb. These kids need a distraction sometimes and Jones is more than happy to take a fall if it means seeing this kids smile. And you bet that when Fury shows up she will definitely see this happen and when it is revealed that Strife is Jones as soon as she sees Strife again she WILL make fun of him.
War: War would absolutely fall for it and it's all Strife's fault. After being the victim of the Charlie Brown and the football gag he thought it was time for his brother to experience it. Strife knew that Fury and Death would NEVER fall for it. But War however. All it takes is for Strife to say that it is a test of reflexes for both the person holding the ball and for the person trying to hit the ball for War to be on board with it. After all, it isn't a trick, it's a test of reflexes. Cue a bunch of humans getting to witness as Strife holds a football and War trying to kick it. My guess is that it takes at least a few tries for War to punt that ball into the next city over in a ball of fire since I bet that Strife is good at guessing what others will do next.
Fury: Yeah no. Fury is not falling for it, having seen Jones "fall" for it, that Fury is smart enough not to fall for it, and since no one is that dumb or brave to try and trick Fury. Anyone who tries to will learn quickly not to try that ever again. And any human that does will thank the fact that, for now anyways, no one is allowed to kill any humans since Death doesn't want all his hard work to get undone in only a few short hours.
Death: Yeah. Also no. No one is dumb enough to piss off the one who sacrificed himself and the souls of his kin to resurrect humanity and even if someone does try, Death isn't dumb enough to fall for it. I feel like he would just say something like "Are you sure about that?" and then go about his business.
My family consists of five members and we live in Khan Yunis. We are myself and my wife, Heba, a teacher, and our three children.
♦️Noor 19 years old
♦️Maram 18 years old
♦️Mahmoud 14 years old
Nour,19 years old, was at the beginning of her university life and was studying engineering. Her dreams and future were shattered because of the war and its horrors.👩🎓📚
Maram, 18 years old, is a high school student who was deprived of her final year of studies and her dream of studying human medicine after high school. Her hopes and dreams fading with each new day.📚👩🎓
Mahmoud, 13 years old, lost his studies in the ninth grade and his ambitions of becoming a professional football player⚽️⛹♂. Now he spends his days struggling to carry water to earn just a $2 salary to provide some income for our family.
We were living quiet and safe life that was very beautiful before the invasion, and suddenly these cursed events broke out, destroying our lives in the Gaza Strip, our house in Khan Younis was destroyed🚀🏚, we were subjected to continuous displacement, and now we are homeless and living in a tent amidst the elements and widespread epidemics, and winter is coming.⛺️🌧
We have suffered for more than 350 days of destruction, displacement, continuous bombing, and constant fear. We have survived four previous wars and more than 17 military escalations, but this war was different... since it broke out in Gaza on October 7.🆘️🍉🇵🇸
🔻 To donate via the link below:
Hello,My name is Anastasia - I am from Melbourne, Australia, an organising member of the global volunteer collective @beesandwatermelons, an
We hope for your humanity and your help.🙏🇵🇸
Vetted by @gazavetters , my number verified on the list is ( #141 )
✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #329 )✅️
Urgent Appeal: Help My Family Before the New Year
My name is Ahmed, and I am asking for your help. My family – my parents, brothers, and sons – are in a desperate situation after our home was destroyed in an airstrike in Gaza. We are now sheltering in a flimsy tent, exposed to the cold and rain, with no food, clothing, or shelter to survive the coming days.
My sister-in-law is nine months pregnant and is severely malnourished and anemic. She is weak and vulnerable, and we have nothing to prepare for the baby due in a few days.
We urgently need to raise $15,000 by the beginning of the new year to provide us with the basics: food, warmth, and a safe place to stay.
Your support, no matter how small, can make a life-changing difference. Together, you can help my family and start the new year with hope and dignity.
To donate:
My name is Abi from Lincoln, NE, and I'm raising money for Ahmed and his fam… Abi Lass needs your support for Help Ahmed And His Family Surv
Your kindness today may bring us safety, warmth, and a chance to heal.
‼️Helping me means helping 5 members of my family..‼️
🥶We're freezing🥶
Hello, I'm Wasim from Gaza, in Al-Mawasi specifically... My family and I were displaced from Rafah after hardship, bombing, displacement, and hunger.😭😔
Now we have been away from our city and our beautiful home for 9 months. We have lost our house that my father built stone by stone and he worked 24/7 to build this house. But the occupation destroyed it, and no house remained in my beautiful city remained intact.😭💔💔
We are now living in a tent or semi-tent, which does not protect us from the cold of winter or the rain. Our lives are very difficult.😔😭
Thanks to your donations, we have been able to buy food and flour, and now I am asking you for help to buy a tent that will protect us from the cold of winter. We do not know what it means to sleep because of the extreme cold.🥶
This is our tent made of fabric and some nylon, not closed on one side. We are freezing from the cold. Help us to buy a new tent. You are our last hope.😭🥶🥶🙏
I also want to ask for help for my mother, who is the most precious thing in my life. Without her, I am nothing...
She has a back cartilage disease and is in great pain. She needs physical therapy, medicine, and vitamins, and I am unable to provide them. Help my mother receive treatment.🙏🙏😭
Campaign Link⬇️⬇️⬇️
My name is Freya Knarr and I live near Chicago, IL. Because Gofundme does not allo… Freya Knarr needs your support for Help Wasim's family r
Hello, I am Hane from Gaza, Palestine, I speak to you with a sad and heavy 🥺 heart about what happened to me and my family.I was seriously injured in the war on Gaza and did not receive treatment from the moment, I am married and have three children, Abdullah, Salma and Saleh and my wife gave birth to a baby girl named Tulip, but unfortunately she died at birth from the effects of war and famine, since more than a year I have not been able to buy my children's needs such as milk and life necessities. We live in a torn tent and💔😭 winter has come and the bitter cold is hitting my children very cold, because we do not have winter coats and winter clothes, we lost everything we have in our house destroyed in the war, please my friend do not ignore my story, donate and share my campaign I will be grateful to you 🫶
Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #99 ) ✅
Hello
Hello, my name is Hani Hamid and I am from Gaza. I am writ… Hany Family needs your support for Please help us with travel and treatme
To the good and philanthropists around the world🍉🙏
I am writing to you today as the son of a mother who has endured unimaginable suffering. My name is Youssef, and I am seeking your support to help my mother, who lost her hearing in her right ear as a result of the brutal siege and airstrikes in Gaza. The war has taken so much from her, but the loss of her hearing has been one of the most devastating consequences.
My mother, once full of life and able to communicate freely, now faces the daily struggle of isolation and silence. A hearing aid is her only chance of regaining some semblance of normalcy, but the cost of such a device ranges from $1500 to $2000 — an amount that is beyond our financial means due to the ongoing hardships we are enduring.
I am humbly reaching out to you, knowing that you are people of compassion and kindness, to help us provide this essential aid for my mother. Your generous support will not only restore her ability to hear but also allow her to regain a sense of connection to the world around her.
Every contribution, no matter how small, will have a profound impact on improving her life and giving her back her dignity. We trust in your generosity and hope that you will answer our call, as you have always done for those in need.
May Allah bless you all with health, peace, and prosperity.
✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #251 )✅️
Hello, my name is Jezabel and I am organizing this campaign for Yossef and his family. Here is his story:
‼️Helping me means helping 5 members of my family..‼️
🥶We're freezing🥶
Hello, I'm Wasim from Gaza, in Al-Mawasi specifically... My family and I were displaced from Rafah after hardship, bombing, displacement, and hunger.😭😔
Now we have been away from our city and our beautiful home for 9 months. We have lost our house that my father built stone by stone and he worked 24/7 to build this house. But the occupation destroyed it, and no house remained in my beautiful city remained intact.😭💔💔
We are now living in a tent or semi-tent, which does not protect us from the cold of winter or the rain. Our lives are very difficult.😔😭
Thanks to your donations, we have been able to buy food and flour, and now I am asking you for help to buy a tent that will protect us from the cold of winter. We do not know what it means to sleep because of the extreme cold.🥶
This is our tent made of fabric and some nylon, not closed on one side. We are freezing from the cold. Help us to buy a new tent. You are our last hope.😭🥶🥶🙏
I also want to ask for help for my mother, who is the most precious thing in my life. Without her, I am nothing...
She has a back cartilage disease and is in great pain. She needs physical therapy, medicine, and vitamins, and I am unable to provide them. Help my mother receive treatment.🙏🙏😭
Campaign Link⬇️⬇️⬇️
My name is Freya Knarr and I live near Chicago, IL. Because Gofundme does not allo… Freya Knarr needs your support for Help Wasim's family r
I wish I could do more than reblog, but unfortunately, I can't donate any money. I hope that rebloging helps and that you get the money you need soon. I also hope that you and your loved ones are safe.
We are nothing without you, you are our last chance...😔🫂
Hello, I'm Lama from Gaza. I lost everything I owned... my house, my job, our car, and 5 members of my family. I don’t want to lose either.😔
I now live in a tent that does not protect against the cold of winter. The rain does not stop, and the situation is very difficult...💔😭
Our children and the elderly are frozen and in a difficult situation. We need winter clothes, pampers, milk, vitamins and food, and all of this is very expensive. Our children are hungry and cold.🥶😔😭
‼️We are drowning‼️
We desperately need your help. Help us and donate to us...You are our last chance to survive🙏🫂🥶
Our children need your help...👶🙏
Campaign Link ⬇️⬇️⬇️
This is Seigen Mizu, head Sensei from the Seigen Mizu dojo. I am setting … Seigen Mizu Dojo needs your support for Help Lama's family t
Vetted ⬇️⬇️⬇️
Lama is indeed vetted by association through @ayoosh-gaza (vet). I asked her and she confirmed that she knows Lama's husband. Proof under cu
I really wish I could donate, but I can't. I hope rebloging helps, though. I also hope that you get the money you need soon and that you and your loved ones are safe.
Hello, I am Hane from Gaza, Palestine, I speak to you with a sad and heavy 🥺 heart about what happened to me and my family.I was seriously injured in the war on Gaza and did not receive treatment from the moment, I am married and have three children, Abdullah, Salma and Saleh and my wife gave birth to a baby girl named Tulip, but unfortunately she died at birth from the effects of war and famine, since more than a year I have not been able to buy my children's needs such as milk and life necessities. We live in a torn tent and💔😭 winter has come and the bitter cold is hitting my children very cold, because we do not have winter coats and winter clothes, we lost everything we have in our house destroyed in the war, please my friend do not ignore my story, donate and share my campaign I will be grateful to you 🫶
Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #99 ) ✅
Hello
Hello, my name is Hani Hamid and I am from Gaza. I am writ… Hany Family needs your support for Please help us with travel and treatme
I unfortunately can't donate, but I hope that rebloging your post helps. I hope that you get the money you need very soon and that you and your loved ones are safe.
