The Wizard Vee @the-wizard-vee - Tumblr Blog

Pot roast?

I would NEVER roast pot. It makes my wizard shakes stop and gives the world whimsy again. Begone skank!

...unless if thouest meant roasting as in burning pot, then haha hell yeah man, sorry about calling you a skank right there I didn't mean it baby...

#wizardposting #wizardmaxxing #meme #lemme ponder this #after I take my wizard's gummy #pondering

Blacked out after eating a Costco Hot Dog, shit my pants, went brezerker rage, and then woke up in the back seat of a Paladin's Tumbrel. Realized there's a second one in my back pocket and it's speaking to me like the ye olde Green Goblin mask...

#pondering #wizardmaxxing #meme #funny #wizardcore #dungeons and dragons #dnd #goblins #spiderman

My wife: "I just... I just need some time away from you. I need to think"

Me doing my best Jar Jar impression: "Disen berry berry bad..."

Jar Jar who's been secretly sleeping with my wife: "Eric, we talked about this,"

#star wars #jar jar binks #gungan #meme #Jedimaxxing #Jedi posting

Mirror Mirror on the wall...

Who's the MotherFucker who's eating all of my Mini wizard-Donuts™️

*The mirror reveals a vision of me at 3:00AM, bare assed, almost greened out shoving them by the fist load into my mouth like a Bugbear fisting a Goblin*

"Mhh, donmnut"

#wizardposting #wizardmaxxing #donuts #me big #me #hairy #very scary #stoner #weed #420 #fireball the blunt

MY BUTCH WIFE LEFT ME AFTER I SAT ON MY WAND WEIRD AND FIREBALLED MY ENTIRE GOCK AND PRINCESS PEBBLES OFF AT TRANS WIZARD CRACKER BARREL

#wizardposting #wizardmaxxing #cracker barrel #I didn't have a permit #I said my vows in front of her entire family #Now it's just mush #blessed #The cage is fused to my skin

I got turned into a Cockroach (see attached photo) but it's okay, my Humonculi, Grungo, got me three Doritos locos tacos (once again see attached photo) For this, he gets one good pupil sticker. Once he reaches ten stickers, he, along with three friends of his choosing, get to have a pizza party and stay up an hour past bedtime.

#wizardposting #wizardmaxxing #tacos #warlockparty #chuck e cheese #He's already at 6 #I'm so proud #I'm still a bug though #cockroach #bug life #more like #thug life #haha

the-wizard-vee

Wench took everything.

My tower, my homunculi, my scrolls...all gone.

I...

I need a moment to ponder my orb...

wizard-council-bureaucrat

Do at least still have your bones? Did she at least leave you your Skeleton Bones?

the-wizard-vee

Alas! I fear I am a mere puddle of wizard flesh with no lowly bones to hold me tenderly

wizard-of-kindness

I HAVE BONES THAT I NO LONGER REQUIRE IF YU WOULD LIKE THEM.

3x FEMURS

2x RIB CAGES (TWO RIBS SLIGHTLY CRACKED)

1 (used) SKULL

1 (ultra rare) KNEECAP

26 (common) KNEECAPS

the-wizard-vee

I'll take your entire stock. I can fashion legs with the 2nd rib cage and be all kneecaps and the ultra rare kneecap as a cod piece to intimidate her into not seeking wizard alimony.

Serious inquiry:

If I date a girl who's into pup-play, does she count as a familiar??

Asking for a wizard friend...

#Woof #Wizardposting #Saves me vet money #goblins #skeletons #and pups #oh my

Took a 25mg gummy and I just have to say:

We really need to bring "Wizard" back to describe something cool. That was really wizard when we did that.

#Wizardposting #Wisewords #I'M BRINGING IT BACK #Wizard #dictionary