green carnation - loki laufeyson
summary: loki doesn’t understand his compulsion to be with you, to protect you, to love you: a compilation of three times loki demonstrates his love for you, and one time you did for him.
word count: 3.5k
warnings: pining, bit of angst for the spice, but fluff!! comforting!loki, idiots in love, instance where tony's a bit of a dick, gn!reader, there's a guy that comes on a bit too friendly, basically a drabble compilation, i think that's it!
estimated reading time: ~13 minutes (sorry!)
Tony’s Party
Tony’s parties never appealed to you. They always seemed to entertain the idea that the Avengers were just celebrities; the room was stuffy with small talk and artificial smiles that had no value to you. You preferred to stay under the radar, keeping as much of your life as private as you could, which often meant that reporters were even more desperate to publish the first ‘scoop’ on you, as it was destined to sell. You had learned early on that these parties were the perfect place for reporters to attend undercover, even after Tony insisted that reporters weren’t invited.
Which is why, leaning against the bar, tonight you were highly suspicious of the man approaching you. He was taller than you, built as if he lived in a gym. Noticing that the top three buttons of his white shirt had been undone, you could tell that he thought he would catch your eye. You decided to entertain the conversation anyway, having been standing alone for long enough to feel slightly awkward while the rest of the team were busy conversing with the rest of the guests. Except Loki, though. He seemed to be as much of a social recluse as you were, and with a slight pang of sadness, you wondered whether it was a choice as he made himself comfortable in a chair near the window. You only had small interactions with him so far, though all were pleasant. He made you smile with his small, considerate gestures, even when you were having a day where you thought you couldn’t. When he looked up from the chair, he met your gaze until you quickly averted it, your heart giving a loud thump at being caught staring.
The man from before leaned into your vision, resting his forearm against the bar, a seductive smirk on his face. You offered a polite smile, one that didn’t quite reach your eyes, and greeted him. “Havin’ a good night?” He asked, swirling the ice around in his glass. The small clinks were pleasant to hear, even among the loud murmur of the crowded room. His eyelids looked slightly heavy, as if the alcohol he had was already about to pull him into a sleep. “As good as it can be,” You said, stealing a quick glance around the room. “Yeah, well, I don’t blame you. I couldn’t attend these parties as often as you do, doubt I’ll wake up before noon tomorrow,” He smiled. He was undeniably charming, and you gave a short laugh in agreement with him. “Ah, it’s not too bad, really. The team is great,” You took a sip of your drink, the cool liquid refreshing you. “Nice to hear the Avengers are as close as they’re reported to be.” “Yeah, ‘course. But we’re still just people, you know? We all have our off days.” “Oh... trouble in paradise?” He said, leaning forward a little more. There it was; the shameless digging. You created some space between you and cleared your throat. Time to backpedal. “No, not at all. I meant that- that despite those days, we still know we can rely on each other.” You looked away then, wondering whether he realised that you were bullshitting your way through this.
“Must be nice to get on with everyone. Especially when you have-” You raised an eyebrow at him, daring him to finish his sentence. By now, you evolved the instinct to tell when someone was about to say something untoward about Loki, and every time it happened you politely disagreed and excused yourself from the conversation, as it was probably another way to pry information from you. You were a needle’s width from allowing a defence for Loki spew out of you uncontrollably. But you knew any reporter would leap at the opportunity to villianise you in the media, as the public still seemed wary of Loki’s intentions, with some even protesting him living with the team.
“Never mind,” He finished his sentence with the right answer, and you relaxed, but not for long: “What do you say we get out of here? Talk somewhere a little quieter?” He winked. You felt dread wash over you, your eyebrows creasing while you put down your glass and shift into a more comfortable position. “Oh, no. I don’t think so,” You shook your head. The sound of glass breaking somewhere across the room followed by a raucous cheer caught his attention, his head snapping to the side. But your eyes didn’t follow the sound; instead, you found them searching for Loki through the crowded room. You found him in the same chair from a few minutes prior, and felt your heart skip a beat when you saw him mouthing something at you. You tilted your head, signalling for him to repeat, and figured out the three words he was saying. Are you okay? You began to shake your head just as the man refocused his attention on you.
“Why not? I thought we were startin’ to have a good time,” He flashed you a smile, but you could tell there was alcohol behind it. You politely shook your head again. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea…” You thought of an excuse, any excuse. “I’m on call, you see.” He scoffed, opening his mouth to reply. But instead, it morphed into one of shock as you felt someone’s arm wrap around you, palm planted on the surface of the bar near your waist. You looked up, and your breath hitched in your throat when you saw Loki. Whatever cologne he was wearing was subtle, but surprisingly earthy as it washed through your nose. You’ve stood next to him before, but here, he seemed to have an extra few inches. Here, he looked grand, majestic. Like a God. His gaze weighed heavy on your form.
“Darling,” He said in a chipper tone that was quintessentially Loki, “There you are.” You smiled, tucking yourself a little more into his side, before looking at the nameless man in front of you. His eyebrows had risen, and you almost chuckled at the way he took an uneasy step backwards. “Raincheck?” You asked. He swallowed, nodded, and disappeared into the crowd. “Well, that ought to have sobered him up,” Loki said, retracting his arm from behind you and dusting his hands off. You smiled appreciatively. “Thank you, Loki. I-” He put a finger over your lips, a knowing smile gracing his own features. “Think nothing of it, love. I’ll see you later,” He turns to leave, but you gently grasp his forearm, like a reflex. “Will you stay? With me?” You asked on a whim, catching your lip gently between your teeth as you awaited his response.
The rest of the evening was less lonely with Loki. The more you spoke to him - found where his passions lay, steering clear of topics you weren’t yet ready to discuss with him - the safer you felt, thinking of the potential of your friendship.
Bad Day
It was unclear whether it was the whirlwind of shame in your stomach or the pain littered in your muscles that caused tears to spring to your eyes, as you wrung a small flannel in your hands while you headed to your room.
You knew Tony was joking, that he meant you no harm, but his comments during your workout session today felt excessive. You were already insecure about your place on the team, worried that you hadn’t earned it. Being surrounded daily by a group of the most extraordinary people on earth will do that to a person. And Tony tried to help you punch harder, dodge quicker, lunge further, but with every criticism on your form came more of the crushing realisation that maybe he was right. Maybe it was just a matter of time before your mistake would lead to someone being hurt. Or worse.
You passed the kitchen, breaths coming out in distressed huffs, and you didn’t notice the pair of striking blue eyes that followed your movement with concern. Loki had been organising the tea drawer in neat vertical lines to pass the time when he heard your all too familiar footsteps approaching. He didn’t understand why his heart would beat a little faster at the idea of your presence, or why he felt giddy, like the only thing that mattered was your happiness. But as soon as he saw your stooped posture, and heard a sniffle as you rushed past, alarm bells rang in his mind. Since Tony’s party, you had both grown closer, close enough for Loki to confide in you about his past mistakes, and for you to confess this particular fear to him. His smile faltered, and he immediately set to brewing a cup of tea in your favourite mug before taking the familiar path to your bedroom. He knocked tentatively, calling out your name in a soft voice, a tone reserved only for you. “Can I come in?”
You sniffed from under the covers of your bed. As soon as you entered your room you changed into sweats and climbed into the soft, comforting world of your duvet. The knock at the door startled you until you heard who the knock belonged to. Pushing the covers off of your face you allow him to enter, grateful that he even wanted to spare you a thought. Although, you wanted to hide as soon as you saw him, looking as beautiful as ever in the deep emerald shirt that you said you liked on him. He offered you an uncharacteristically timid smile, and you moved to sit up in your bed. Loki placed the tea gently on your bedside table and sat on the edge of your bed, next to your knees.
“Hi,” You said, looking down, worried that you look like you’re in a complete state. “What’s the matter?” Loki put a comforting hand on your knee, letting you know that he was there, for whatever you needed. You shook your head, retrieving the tea. “It’s nothing, really. But thank you,” You said, referring to both the tea and his concern. But Loki always seemed to know when you were trying to evade the question. “You can trust me,” You caught his eyes, assessing how honest he was. But you knew that Loki of all people wouldn’t pretend to be kind. He was sincere, always. “I... just can’t seem to be good enough. No matter how hard I train, it won’t be enough. Tony said-” “Tony? In case you haven’t noticed, love, Stark possesses as much social finesse as a baby monkey.” You smiled into the mug, not ignoring the way his grip tightened on your knee when you brought Tony up. “You are the most qualified out of anybody here. In fact, I’m willing to bet that you could eviscerate me in a fight,” He said firmly.
“You’re being very kind, Loki. Thank you, but-” “No buts. I don’t lie,” He said your name sternly at the end, trying to persuade you. If only you could see what he does. Your vision went blurry with more tears, and you scrunch your nose at the sight of one falling into your mug. “Oh dear. Are…are these good tears? Or bad tears?” Loki’s hand lifted from your knee for a second, before returning to its place, as if he was doubting his own movement. You used the heel of your hand to wipe the tears away quickly. “Good, I think,” You said, wrapping a hand around his. He wasted no time in adjusting the position of his so as to hold yours properly, tightly. Lovingly. You both shared a smile that would burn the memory of his kindness into your brain for weeks to come. The way his facial features softened, the small lock of hair that had fallen into his face, how he was looking at you.
You didn’t know that in the evening, Loki had threatened Tony with cold showers for a week if he ever spoke to you like that again, but you did notice that Tony had been giving you more compliments recently, and your confidence in yourself was certainly growing.
The Library
Loki had a surprise for you tonight. You couldn’t begin to guess, but when he confidently guided you to the entrance of the library, it was harder for you to contain your anticipation. Loki stood tall, looking proud of himself, before pulling you inside. He had weaved fairy lights around some bookshelves, underneath which sat bean bags and pillows, plush throws that all together probably weighed the same as the bean bags themselves. In front of these sat a picnic basket, a blanket, and a small selection of books stacked meticulously on top of each other. A small radio sat nearby, as if the idea of using it was undecided.
“Oh my God,” You gasped, hand automatically grasping the edge of Loki’s. Just the edge of his palm, your fingers landed clumsily in the centre of it as your eyes widened. “Ta-da!” He said, slightly tentatively, as if he thought you might get angry. But how could you get angry at this? “I thought we could spend the evening here. Together,” He cleared his throat, but maintained an air of confidence. “Loki, this is amazing!’ You immediately rushed to the soft bean bags, enthusiastically motioning for him to join you. His long legs brought him to you in very few strides, and you pulled his bag closer before he could sit down. Now they were touching, you were able to throw a blanket over the laps of both of you. You glanced at the stack of books first, unable to stop yourself. You saw ‘Little Women,’ and ‘Emma,’ amongst a couple of your favourite titles.
There were, however, two books that were written in an unfamiliar script. Picking one up, you gaped at the foiled decorations that bordered it, decorating the spine and the covers in intricate illustrations of birds, flowers, and a castle. You ran your fingers over the fabric of the cover, and thumbed at the gold edges of the paper, completely speechless. As you expected the words inside were unreadable to you, but you had a suspicion as to what it was. “It’s beautiful,” You sighed, catching sight of an illustration of a young woman picking a rose from a rose bush. “It’s Asguardian,” He said proudly. “Fairy tales, fables, whatever you want to call them. It was my mother’s.” You studied his face at that, his longing stare at the book settled in your lap made you handle it even more carefully before handing it to him. The idea of Asguardian fairy tales sounded so magical and wonderful, you wondered whether Asguardians valued the same morals as humans did.
After a little while of you reading your chosen book, and Loki reading the other book written in Asguardian, you closed the cover of yours. You ate the final bite of your sandwich and picked up the fairy tales. Loki looked at you quizzically as you handled the weight, before asking, “Would you read them to me?”
You had never seen Loki’s face light up before, but as soon as you did, you knew that you wanted to keep making it happen forever. The widening of his eyes seemed to unlock a childlike joy that he had been ignoring for who knows how long. He took the book from you carefully and opened to a page as you leaned back. He would translate the prose to ensure you understood it, but when the script was crafted particularly beautifully in Asguardian, he read it out to you so that you could also appreciate the cadence of the passage, and the way the words rolled off of the tongue. You wanted Loki to speak in Asguardian far more often, for it was perhaps one of the most beautiful sounds to ever grace your ears.
Loki’s Bad Day
You learned after lunch one day that there had been an incident by watching Bucky and Natasha converse in low whispers across the room. Every now and then you would catch a word, but as soon as you heard the words ‘Loki’, and ‘dangerous,’ in one sentence, your heart plummeted to the floor. Casually crossing the distance towards them, you clutched your hands behind your back. “Did something happen with Loki?” You asked. They shared a look, hesitating because it was clear that you and Loki had grown closer throughout the last few months. Bucky ran a hand over his mouth and sighed.
“It’s just more protests, doll. They think he’s overstayed his welcome.” “But he hasn’t done anything wrong!” You insisted. "At least, since..." And you knew this was true; all of the free time that you had was spent with him, and you cherished those moments more than anything. He was different now. “We know, doll. Probably thanks to you,” You felt heat creep up the sides of your neck and into your cheeks. “But they’re not listening to Tony when he tells them they can’t stay there.” You sighed. “Where’s Loki now?” Bucky nodded his head in the direction of Loki’s bedroom. You nodded gratefully and left, with every footstep feeling like a thousand yards. You reached his door: black, with ornate emerald green carvings. The gold door knob chilled your hand as you held it and knocked twice.
“Loki? It’s me. Are you in there?” You asked softly. There was no reply. You sighed, leaning your head against the doorframe. “I know you’re probably used to having space when you’re having a bad day, and if you want it then I’ll respect that. But if you need somebody, I’m here and I’m offering. Maybe you think it’s your job to look after me. But it’s not supposed to be like that. It works both ways, and now, if you’ll let me, it’s my turn to look after you. Okay?”
You waited for a few moments. For anything. A grumbled ‘go away,’ or something to that effect. Nothing seemed to happen, and you caught yourself wondering if you had just been talking to the door for the last few minutes. Just as you turned to wait for him somewhere else, though, the knob turned and the door creaked open a few inches. Not seeing Loki on the immediate other side, you assumed that he opened it with magic, and your suspicions were confirmed when you saw him lying on his bed, throwing a ball into the air and catching it with one hand. You closed the door with a gentle click behind you and crawled onto the soft bed, your clothes almost slipping on the silk sheets. You lay next to him and stare at the ceiling.
“You want to talk about it?” You asked. He threw the ball again, silent. You suspected that Loki’s low moods would made him less talkative. More vulnerable, less mischievous - if that was possible. “Okay. But you can trust me.” You looked over at him, noticing his tired eyes and untidy hair. His arm fell, and he turned to look at you, eyes scanning your face.
“They think I’m still a monster,” He said finally, hands interlocked over his chest. You thought about it for a moment. “Maybe. But their opinions aren’t based on the Loki that I know. The media will do anything for clicks, even if it means ignoring the goodness in you so that you can continue being their villain. None of us see you like that anymore, Loki. I certainly don’t,” You said, putting a hand on his forearm and using your thumb to stroke reassuring movements onto it. It was unclear whether Loki totally believed you, but you could tell that he was considering your words and not just dismissing them.
“Can I show you something?” He asked. Intrigued, you sat up, nodding. He mirrored your actions, before opening his palm. Golden sparks flew from it, wrapping around each other a few times in a movement that reminded you of a fish, before a green carnation materialised in it, floating steadily above his skin. Your jaw dropped, but you smiled in the wake of the flower’s beauty. You had seen carnations before, but Loki’s was the most beautiful you had ever seen.
“It’s lovely,” You smiled, admiring his creation. He seemed proud, sitting up a little straighter with a smile on his face. You almost reached out to touch it, but he closed his hand. The carnation disappeared just as quickly. “Thank you.” He said, but you were sure he wasn’t just talking about the compliment. You scooted to the top of the bed and pulled him up with you, manoeuvring his arm around your shoulder so that you could sit closer to him.
“Tony will sort them out, Loki. Don’t let them tell you who you are. They don’t know you like I do,” You said, restraining yourself from monologuing about his gentle touch, his soft eyes, his caring smile. You could list everything that made you feel safe with him, but you worried that it would have been crossing a line.
Little did you know, as Loki drew meaningless patterns on your arm he was thinking the same thing. He just wondered when it would be the best time to tell you.
hello loki enthusiasts! thank you so much for reading and sticking with me for this post! i hope the format of these was pleasant enough to read, ive never compiled drabbles like this before :,) anyway, i really hope you enjoyed! a special thank you goes out to everyone who comments and reblogs, each and every one of your words mean the absolute world, so thank you thank you <3
